Thoughts on The Joe Piscopo New Jersey Special

 

Courtesy YouTube.

I'm dipping my toes back into Thoughts On with this special that originally aired Tuesday, May 13, 1986, on ABC.

Thoughts on Hurlyburly

 

Via Giphy. Courtesy Warner Bros.

*Eddie (Sean Penn), high on cocaine, is ranting to Mickey (Kevin Spacey), who's walking out of Eddie's Hollywood Hills home and possibly their partnership as casting directors*
"You have no feelings AT ALL!"
"No, Eddie, you know what? I, I just don't have your feelings. That's all. I have my own. And you know what? They get me by."
"So what kind of friendship is this?"
"(after a pause, then a "What can I say?" gesture) Adequate. Goodnight."
*Mickey leaves, and Eddie does more coke*

Thoughts on Grand, episodes 21-26

 

Via Giphy.

"I may be a warlock, but I'm not an exhibitionist."

Thoughts on Grand, episodes 16-20

 

Via Giphy.

*Red (John Goodman) tries again to get Carol Ann to dance with him*
"I don't think you can refuse me this time. Don't be alarmed, don't raise your voice. Between you and me, I have a bomb in my pants."
*Carol Ann laughs*
"Oh, boy, I've heard that one before."
"A real bomb. Dynamite. TNT."
"Yeah, I know all the names for it. I was married, alright?"

Thoughts on Grand, episodes 11-15

 

Via Giphy.

*Carol Ann is persuading Janice to stay with her during what she thinks will be a rendezvous with Tom*
"I'm too romantic and naive. You're bitter and cynical. Together, we're a normal woman."

Thoughts on Grand, Episodes 6-10

 

Via Giphy.

"Get out your black dress, Carol Ann, we're going to a funeral."

Thoughts on Grand, episodes 1-5

 

Via Giphy.

Carol Ann (Bonnie Hunt), wearing a slip, considers a blouse. Cleaning lady Janice (Pamela Reed) enters the bedroom and Carol Ann retreats into the walk-in closet. Janice is mildly annoyed by this quirk.
"(Calling out) You want me to leave?"
"Oh, no! No, no, no! I'm fine. I, uh, always get dressed in the closet. I like to be close to my clothes, you know."
"(To herself as she removes bedding) But not too close to the planet Earth."

Thoughts on Today (Monday, Jan. 8, 1990)

 

Via Giphy.

"That does it for us on this Monday, your first of 10,000 or so down."
"At least. I hope."

Thoughts on There's Something About Mary

 

Via Giphy. Courtesy 20th Century Studios.

"Hey, you wanna go upstairs and watch SportsCenter?"
"No, I think I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead."
"... You're not that far ahead, Ted. *smiles*"

Thoughts on Eye on the Media: Business and the Press

 

via Giphy

"Mr. Wallace, what you want to do is, you want to go have a one on one confrontation with another human being. That is, you want it to be people. You want it to be a person who is doing something bad and being called for it. And let's see what his response is. Isn't that right?"
"... No ... is the short answer. No is the short answer. To suggest that we are not interested in telling in microcosm a story about kerosene heaters and the use of various grades of kerosene ... Course we're interested in telling the story. And what we are saying to the public (is) 'Watch it, watch it, because though it is cheaper and though it is a space heater, there are dangers ...'"

Thoughts on Don't Touch That Dial!

 

via Giphy

"Looking at these rep* -- repetitive clone series, you really have to wonder, is this the best our writers, and our directors, and our master programmers on three great, rich, powerful networks, the best that you people can come up with?"
*I'm certain Morley Safer was about to say "reprehensible," but caught himself.

"Well, you know, people constantly, or not constantly**, but occassionally say to me, 'Uh, why is television as bad as it is?' Frankly, I think -- I am constantly amazed that television is as good as it is. Because for us to provide, and the other two networks, the quanity of entertainment, as well as information and sports, but we're just talking entertainment at the moment ... The quantity of entertainment, 22 hours, for seven years, under the restrictions of time and money that television has to operate under, I think it 's absolutely amazing that television is as good as it is."

**Bud Grant's immediate digression is something to behold. I only added those commas in for gramatical clarity. It's honest to god expressed in a steam of conscious style.

Thoughts on The 56th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

 

Courtesy NBCUniversal/Macy's

"... And look who's pulled up beside us. Atop the rocking lion this morning, for a bit of a spin, Deniece Williams, whose records have been spinning out a bit of success on their own today. The lady hits a lot of notes that you and I only dream about. But why dream on this day, when we've got her to perform in Herald Square."

-- Bryant Gumbel

Thoughts on The Mask of Zorro

 

via Gfycat

"Do you recognize him?"
"No, but he was young and vigorous. ... He was very vigorous, father."
"Vigorous?"
"Yes."

Thoughts on Small Soldiers

 

via Giphy/Courtesy DreamWorks/NBCUniversal

"Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be. Damn the torpedoes, or give me death! Eternal vigilance is the price of duty. And, to the victors go the spoils. So remember: you are the best of the best of the few and the proud. So ask not what your country can do for you, only regret that you have but one life to live! The war against the Gorgonites will be won! Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired! Search out the Gorgonites and frag 'em all!"

Thoughts on Lethal Weapon 4

 

via Giphy

*Riggs (Mel Gibson) earnestly talks with Murtaugh (Danny Glover) about his loss of stamina*
"It's like ..."
"You're getting too old for this shit."
"Yeah."
"How about that? Finally."
"No, I can't be. I mean, I'm only ... Jesus."
"Yeah, you're only. You can't beat the clock, Riggs."

Thoughts on Armageddon

 

via Tenor/Courtesy Walt Disney Pictures

*Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) reveals his drilling crew's conditions for undergoing an earth-saving mission*
"Well, there's uh, few things here, uh ... nothin' really big, uh, just ... Well, as an example, uh, uh, Oscar here, he's got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants them wiped off his record."
"Fifty-six tickets in seven states."
"I'll, I'll tell 'em, Oscar, you got it. ... *the bit continues on for a few more minutes* Yeah, one more thing. Um, none of them want to pay taxes again. ... Ever."

Thoughts on Hands on a Hardbody

 

via Giphy/Courtesy YouTube

"Made it through one whole day, how you feelin'?"
"*with a tone of chipper hysteria* Awful."
"You got some coffee."
"Yes. Mr. Policeman found me some coffee. Brought it to me."
"How you feeling? You, you look pretty good, you look like you're up."
"No, I don't. I don't look good. I don't look good. My feet hurt, my legs hurt. I'm sleepy. But other than that, I'm okay."

Thoughts on Out of Sight

 

via Gfycat

" ... You have my wallet."
"And your gun."
"Think I can have them back?"
"How do we do that?"
"Well, let's see, you can come by my dad's place and drop them off."
"Yeah, I could leave it with the SWAT guy that answers the door."
"You know, there's a guy here on the task force right now. Maybe I should put him on the phone and let the two of you work it out."
"You wouldn't do that."
"Oh, why not?"
"Because you're having too much fun."

Thoughts on Dr. Dolittle

 

via Tumblr/Courtesy 20th Century Studios

"Do you remember when we first started out? We had those little crummy offices in the worst neighborhood in town and we got paid almost no money."
"I've blocked it out."
"Have you really?"
"I guess so, yeah."
"Those were the most exciting times to me, you know? It was like -- you couldn't wait to come to work because it felt like you were making a difference, you know. And last night, I had to treat some -- some emergencies. And I was challenged, and it was difficult. And I kind of -- I got the same kind of rush I had back then. I felt like I was doin' somethin', you know? I felt like I was makin' a difference. And I started thinkin' that maybe here ... I'm not giving my patients the right amount of attention."
"... John, do me a favor. Don't ever confide in me, okay. I'm utterly useless in these areas. I'm a very self-absorbed man. ..."

Thoughts on Mulan

 

via Giphy

"I've heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan. You stole your father's armor, ran away from home, impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Chinese army, destroyed my palace and ... you have saved us all."