Via Giphy.
*Carol Ann is persuading Janice to stay with her during what she thinks will be a rendezvous with Tom*"I'm too romantic and naive. You're bitter and cynical. Together, we're a normal woman."
"Trigonometry Made Easy" (March 29, 1990)
I Dislike that I'm watching Grand with an idea of what to expect. It's hard to care about what will happen next to Tom and Wayne when you already know that Michael McKean and Andrew Lauer only have three episodes left. Not helping matters is that Tom's characterization has plateaued. Tom reveals to Carol Ann that he tore up the agreement with Taki for $5 million in exchange for Carol Ann. Taki is giving Tom $11 million for his project. Carol Ann now wants to know exactly when Tom stopped caring about the $5 million.
"Carol Ann, to err is human, to forgive divine."
"You were going to sell me to a Japanese businessman for five million dollars, Tom."
"That was the human part."
I Like that there's a countdown element to what turned out to be Wayne's exit storyline. He wants to relocate to Wheeling, West Virginia, with Janice as his wife. Janice does love Wayne, but she's just not in love with him. She's also fretting over a sudden intense rash.
I'm Okay With Norris and Weldon's storyline over the next two episodes. Weldon convinces Norris to try a business career. It turns out that Norris is savvy, saying the costs incurred providing lunch at the factory will be taken care of with increased productivity (and a 55-minute "lunch hour.") It's better than what's going on now, where the workers are eating poorly and/or drinking on their breaks, resulting in afternoon accidents and violence. It felt good to work, Norris admits, but he does not want to give up his freedom for a desk. Weldon says that if Norris quits, he's out on the street without a dime. Poverty would be new to Norris ...
I'm Okay With the romantic twists and turns. Carol Ann responds to a love poem ... that wasn't written by Tom, but by her co-worker Jeremy (Lenny von Dohlen). Later, Janice is drowsy from antihistamines. Wayne slips on a wedding ring, taking Janice's silence (she's fallen alseep) as consent. Hours later, Janice awakes to find the ring on her finger. "... This isn't good."
*Carol Ann is flustered with Jeremy*
"Boy, you men. You know, you think just because you're ... great looking, that I think ... I know exactly what I think. And I don't have to tell you what I think, so don't even try to guess. Now, if you'll excuse me, whoever you are."
"Czech, Please!" (April 5, 1990)
"I think I can handle my life. I'm an adult."
"Indeed you are. You're old enough to be her dead great-grandfather."
I'm Okay With the resolution of sorts for Norris and Weldon's story. Until his son buckles down, Weldon doesn't want Norris within 50 feet of the mansion. Residing in the stable is okay, though. Weldon's excited about having Plafka (Natasha Pavlovich) as a guest, in the bedroom next to his, which he can view through a peephole. I'm still holding out hope that they eventually dropped the dirty old man stuff, although it does help that Weldon got his. Plafka likes Norris. Weldon catches them kissing and flings manure for revenge. Later, he lets Norris back into the mansion.
I'm Okay With the love stories. Janice agrees to a trial engagement with Wayne. Tom convinces Carol Ann to come back to him. The problem is, Carol Ann stopped by their house to prepare for a date with Jeremy. Now Carol Ann's got two guys prone to crying that won't let her go. "What is it with men these days?" Out for a ride with Jeremy, Carol Ann insists that she's happy before losing her wedding ring.
"Oh, please, God! Oh, help me find it! I'll never even think of cheating again."
"You were thinking about it?"
I've Gotten Sick Of the extremes of Tom's storyline. He ends up not getting $11 million from Taki, because his father (Robert Ito) won't finance the deal. Tom accepts a payoff of the old man's pocket money, $46,853. "I got Grants in my pants and I need to dance!" Tom's so happy, he ignores Carol Ann smelling of cologne and calling him Jeremy. The ending, of Tom and Carol Ann slow dancing to "You Made Me Love You," is awfully sweet.
"Blow Off" (April 12, 1990)
"A boy like Dylan doesn't ask his mom (if he can drive), Dustin. He'll probably just steal a Porsche again."
"My mom said I can't steal anything until I'm a lawyer."
I Dislike the bland feeling of Janice's once and for all breakup with Wayne. On the one hand, they've been having this conversation for several episodes now, so it's hard to care about it. Still, juxtaposing the moment with Edda once and for all breaking up with Justin, and delaying Wayne's heartbreak until a later scene ... it just reminds me again of how good Soap was at pausing the comedy for genuine pathos.
I Like Weldon and Desmond's storyline in this episode. Norris returns from Palm Springs with his long-lost mother, Viveca (Britt Ekland), the woman Desmond slept with when she was married to Weldon. The older men vie for Viveca's affection. Viveca choses Desmond, who's fine with being fired by Weldon. Later on, it turns out that Viveca was using Desmond for her revenge on Weldon. The men end up laughing about it, and I decided that as repetive as their scenes have been, it hasn't been a bad arc, having the coots realize what they mean to one another.
"I guess there's nothing sadder than two old fools."
"Two old fools in a tornado."
"In a trailer. In a toilet."
I Dislike the idea of Tom wanting to start a new life with Carol Ann in Romania. Now that I think about it, Tom really isn't that much different than Norris, pursuing whim after whim after whim. A few episodes ago, I wondered if Grand would have had better storytelling had the Norris and Wayne been combined into a single character. McKean, Lauer and Murray are doing what they can with their roles, but they're just not interesting. On the other hand, Murray does get a good line every once in a while.
"Let's go home, Mom. We're going to have such a deeper relationship, now that I'm verbal and stopped spitting up after meals."
I Dislike Carol Ann's storyline in this episode. First she tells Jeremy to stop calling her, as it could ruin her life. Then, after hearing about the planned move to Romania, she decides to have the fling with Jeremy. Then, the next day, she can't go through with it. After Carol Ann leaves, Jeremy meets Janice. It turns out that they both drink their coffee with three sugars. According to Janice's mom, sharing something like that is a good sign of being potential mates.
I Like Carol Ann and then Wayne's stunned-heartbroken reactions to seeing Janice and Jeremy as a couple. And all this just before the start of a tornado!
I Dislike that Grand didn't follow through with the idea of Janice being poised to have her own wealth. Her rash came from tainted cleaning products and she's filed a claim. We can assume that Wayne moved onto the job in West Virginia, and Tom's storyline will soon be resolved. That just leaves the fates of Jeremy, Viveca and Dylan unanswered. Maybe they all were killed in the tornado, or relocated to Sweden. Or Romania.
"Janice Steals Home" (Oct. 4, 1990)
"Oh, dear. I hate meeting strange men in my bathrobe. Although they seem to enjoy it ..."
I Dislike the execution of Grand coming back from its cliffhanger. Okay, so we didn't come back exactly where we left off. I can accept that, I guess. But could Janice and Desmond's first conversation of the new season have a little more urgency or at least a point beyond "Rich folks be crazy"? Anyway, Janice's trailer is getting repaired, so she and Edda are living at the mansion. Carol Ann, allegedly not depressed since Tom's disapparance, is also living there. Edda's loving living it up, which makes Janice uncomfortable. She also regrets having to wear the sexy maid uniform from the pilot episode. And Norris wants to be a mime.
I Dislike the plot of the week. Ray (John Kapelos) won't give Janice her trailer back unless she pays more or goes out with him. Ray admits that this ploy has never worked before. And it's not working this time, since Janice's decides to steal Ray's keys, lock him in a adult motel bathroom and use Carol Ann and Tom's Volvo to get back her trailer. The audience/laugh track reacted well to Janice's dominatrix move when she removed Ray's belt, then used it as a means to keep him from grabbing his fallen keys.
I Like the joke that the adult motel that Janice told Ray to meet her at was where she spent her honeymoon. "Edda was conceived right there. On that diving board."
I Love Bonnie Hunt's performance throughout this episode, particularly in Carol Ann's big scene with Janice.
"Fifty-nine miles an hour. Tom always drove this speed. A little faster than the speed limit, but not fast enough to ... God, I really miss him, Janice. I was just getting used to waking up in bed with him, you know. Past the point where you wake up in the middle of the night and go, '*startled sound* Oh, I'm married.' Boy, I tell you, it's really hard to lose something when you've just gotten used to having it."
I'm Okay With the new status quo. The trailer came off the Volvo's hitch and landed in a ravine. It's no longer salvagable, but instead of staying in the Weldon mansion, Janice opts to turn the stables into her and Edda's new digs. Carol Ann brings a stablewarming gift, a very beautiful and very expensive silver chafing dish. "Well, thanks, Carol Ann. This will really come in handy." "Yeah, me and mom chafe all the time." Janice plans to exchange it for a couch.
"The Chickens Come Home to Roost" (Oct. 11, 1990)
I Dislike the convoluted conclusion to Tom's storyline. Janice, Weldon, Desmond and even Norris to some extent have had it with Carol Ann's continued pining for Tom, not to mention how she's wasting money on charlatans to help with the search. One of them is a "olfactory clairvoyant" (Xander Berkeley) recommended by Norris. Weldon wants Carol Ann to continue seeing Dr. Frank, who turns out to have seen Tom, too.
"Carol Ann, the FBI is after Tom. He embezzled $50,000 from a savings and loan in Texas."
"Yeah, well, who hasn't?"
"Okay, look, Carol Ann. His name isn't really Tom. It's Aldolpho. And he's an illegal alien from Uruguay who had his skin bleached. And, uh, here comes the tough part, honey."
"Oh, there's a tough part?"
"Yeah. He's a bigamist. He's got five other wives. I guess if there's any good news, it's that you were never legally married to him."
I Hate that they went this route. It's not like Tom was that great of a character, although again, McKean had his moments with him. But why not write him off in a way that was somewhat established, like going off to be with Dylan, or following through on going to Romania, or straight up presumed dead from the tornado? Anyway, Carol Ann accepts the truth once she and Jeffrey are placed under arrest at her bank. Carol Ann was planning to withdraw her savings, and the authorities confused Jeffrey for Tom.
Thoughts:
-- Janice laments having to speak with Edda. "Have you ever listened to a 13-year-old in depth? 'So, Jennifer goes ... And then I go ... And Jason's like ... And Todd's all ...' And after hours of patiently listening to this, she tells me to get a life" ("The Chickens Come Home to Roost").
-- Hey, It's 1990!: Wayne wonders if Edda's lovestruck dance over Dylan is the Lambada ("Blow Off"). "The Chickens Come Home to Roost" includes a bit of clapter bait (getting the audience to applaud rather than laugh) when Janice rants about how working people like her paid taxes that bailed out the banks after the savings and loans scandal. There's also an audience testimonials ad for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, with Christian Slater of all people declaring, "We loved it!"
-- Hey, It's ...!: Teresa Ganzel in the McDonalds "Fries Surprise" commerical ("Trigonometry Made Easy"). Later, Adilah Barnes moonlights from Roseanne as another "psychic" hired by Carol Ann ("The Chickens Come Home to Roost"). "Me used to be a maid, but now me drive a BMW! *laughs*" Speaking of cars, that might be Christine Baranski in the Pontiac ad ("The Chickens Come Home to Roost").
-- Fanservice Junction: Besides Janice wearing the sexy maid uniform, there's this ...
Go for it, Carol Ann!
-- This batch of episodes had more NBC promos, which plugged the likes of A Family for Joe (Robert Mitchum raises "grandkids" including Juliette Lewis and Ben Savage), Carol & Company (Specifically "Reunion," where trans woman Burnett catches up with schoolmates including ex-girlfriend Swoosie Kurtz, who won the Emmy), Bob Hope's Acapulco (With Kirk Cameron, Ann Jillian and Clint Black), Shannon's Deal (John Sayles' attempt at prestige TV), Law & Order (Which aired its earliest episodes in L.A. Law's timeslot), Hull High (Which was already headed for the cancellation pile) and Wings (Which aired in Grand's timeslot after "Blow Off" and ended up with that timeslot for a few years starting in January 1991).
-- Ratings Roundup: "Trigonometry Made Easy" scored the highest rating of these five episodes, a 17.7. "Blow Off" scored a 15.4. For the fall of 1990, Grand again had the post-Cheers timeslot, and the viewers gap between the shows keeps widening. Still, Grand was doing better than Gabriel's Fire on ABC and Beverly Hills, 90210 on FOX. It will eventually face Doctor Doctor on CBS and beat that show, too, while still not doing well enough to justify such a prized place on the schedule).
-- "Sanity is your most precious posession. Don't flush it down the crapper."
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