Thoughts on Grand, episodes 16-20

 

Via Giphy.

*Red (John Goodman) tries again to get Carol Ann to dance with him*
"I don't think you can refuse me this time. Don't be alarmed, don't raise your voice. Between you and me, I have a bomb in my pants."
*Carol Ann laughs*
"Oh, boy, I've heard that one before."
"A real bomb. Dynamite. TNT."
"Yeah, I know all the names for it. I was married, alright?"

As part of my continued efforts to keep Thoughts On from being line by line recaps, I'm going to do today's post as a series of capsule reviews.

"The Healing" (Oct. 18, 1990)

Carsey-Werner hauled out one of their heaviest hitters for this episode. Douglas, commonly known as Red, lost his girl to his boss. She thought Red was too mediocre. "... I'm an assistant manager in a hardware store. I haven't made a decision in 15 years. 'Where do you want the nails, Vern? Shouldn't we move the ice chests closer to the front? No? Okay, it's your nickel, Vern.' Sometimes I ask customers if I can help 'em, they won't even answer me. I live in a four-plex. I eat frozen food. Just once in my life ... I want to get something that I want." Carol Ann, who has sworn off men, initially rebuffs Red until she realizes he's telling the truth about the dynamite. It all takes place at Beethoven's, which Norris bought with money he found ... Desmond's life savings. Janice is also at the bar with her new man, traveling jewelry salesman Robert (Dann Florek). She loves that he's a stable family type, until it turns out that he's a husband and father. Red's really quite sweet, though, and he and Carol Ann hit it off before he peacefully turns himself in to a pair of cops who were just there for a nightcap. John Goodman also shows off his singing voice with a rendition of "Crazy."

"The Return of Yale Pinhaus" (Oct. 25, 1990)

Janice, Carol Ann and Norris' class reunion is the backdrop for some obvious jokes, like the husband of "the longest happily married couple" shoving his fat wife to go accept the award. Ed Marinaro returns as Eddie, winner of the least changed award. The guests also include mean girl Andrea (Alberta Watson), who hits on Weldon. The age thing is a hangup for him. "Not now. But when I'm in my 90s, you'll be in your 40s and that doesn't work with me. Even if you exercise." Another doomed relationship is between Janice and Yale (Curtis Armstrong). Janice was on the outs with Eddie leading up to the prom in 1975. She took a cigarette break that night, running into Eddie. The pair started "making ... making up," Janice tells Edda. Yale reveals to Janice that he saw her with Eddie. Yale was so devastated that he locked himself up in the lab and eventually started a computers business that he's just sold for $100 million. Yale invites Janice to New York, and yet again, Eddie ruins it. Eddie laments how he peaked as a teenager, sparking sympathy from Janice. Yale misinterprets what he sees. Janice has to cheer on Eddie, football-style, to go after Yale. "Take the car!"

"Desmond's Mother" (Nov. 1, 1990)

Eric Christmas ultimately beats out John Goodman for this batch's best guest star. Maggie turns out to not be Desmond's mother, but his father, Conrad. The real Maggie died shortly after giving birth. It was almost as if baby Desmond knew of the loss. Conrad, who hadn't been able to keep up with the laundry, put on one of Maggie's dressing gowns, held Desmond tight and made up his mind once he realized how happy his son was. "So, you lived as a woman for 60-odd, and I mean odd, years?" Desmond initially rejects Conrad. "Tomorrow morning, there's a flight to New York. I'd like you to leave as you came, as a Monty Python sketch." Elsewhere, Edda's teenage flakiness is rubbing Janice the wrong way. Janice challenges Carol Ann to be Edda's mother for the night. "You'll see, Janice. I'll be taking an angry little girl, but I'll be bringing back a responsible young woman." "Yeah, well, bring back Edda, too." No points for guessing how this one turns out. Carol Ann loses patience with Edda, to Janice's amusement. A drunk Desmond realizes that it must be hell to be a mother. He ends up accepting Conrad. "Bacon, father?" "Thank you, son."

"Norris' Romance" (Nov. 15, 1990)

"Let me tell you something. The ideal man makes passionate love for three hours, then turns into a gift certificate." Attempting to improve the cash flow at Beethoven's, Norris turns it into a comedy and music cabaret. Jenny (Lisa Jane Persky) is a hit with the audience, unlike Carol Ann, who keeps getting stage fright when she tries singing. Determined that her diary have at least one memorable page in it before she dies or turns 40, Carol Ann eventually has an endearingly goofy and sorta sexy performance of "Someone to Watch Over Me." She nearly overturns a table, removes a man's toupee, clears things off the bar so she can perch on it, and gets carried out by some truckers. Jenny, meanwhile, reconnects with childhood chum Norris, only to realize that love and comedy don't mix. She can't concentrate on her act, jeopardizing a chance to impress David Letterman's booker. Norris does the right thing by letting Jenny go. The episode ends on the roof at Beethoven's, which Norris has turned into a sort of personal Dave & Buster's. It's about to rain. A depressed Norris and Carol Ann hold up their golf clubs, hoping to be struck by lighting.

"Roamers and Rumors" (Nov. 22, 1990)

Carol Ann's aimlessness is finally resolved. She gets a job, as an advice for the lovelorn columnist. Prior to that, Carol Ann reveals to Janice that there's a rumor about Edda. Her study buddy Brad (Blake Soper) says they're having sex. Janice, who's spent her adult life trying to live down rumors about who she was as a teen, doesn't want Edda to go through the same thing. She's especially upset when Brad spreads another rumor, that Edda's pregnant. It turns out that the sins of the father live on with the son; Brad's dad Steven (Sam McMurray) was and still is a rumormonger. Janice gets her revenge by spreading one about "Tiny." The "roamers" are Weldon and Desmond, trying to honor the memory of their late wartime buddy Buzz McGowan by recreating an experience in France that included spending the weekend at a secluded school for wayward girls. This time around, the coots are taken in by a militant lesbian survival group. Weldon's last attempt at recapturing glory is by having himself and Desmond dress in their old uniforms and try picking up women at Beethoven's. It works, but only because they run into two gals who are fresh from prison.

Thoughts:

-- "Why is it that all men have to cheat and lie?" "We don't. It's optional."

-- I started Grand wondering if Pamela Reed and Sara Rue were among the actresses considered for Jackie and Darlene prior to Roseanne's premiere. Now I'm wondering about the inverse, if Bonnie Hunt was considered for Kathy, the neighbor who resented moving from Chicago to Lanford.

-- Fanservice Junction/Hey, It's 1990!: Eddie pulls Yale's pants down, and with all due respect to Curtis Armstrong, I wish it had been the other way around. Ed Marinaro did Fruit of the Loom ads at this time.

Courtesy Ebay.

-- That being said, Yale has his charms. He did the cigarettes move from Now, Voyager while flirting with Janice. "I don't want you going out in the parking lot tonight. Unless it's with me."

-- Hilarious in Hindsight: "Maggie" is a traveling saleswoman, of hats honoring dead queens. "We have the Queen Mary, the Queen Victoria, and the soon to be released Queen Elizabeth."

-- "I mean, all over the country, comedy clubs are packin' 'em in." "This is western Pennsylvania. It's not that funny here." "Well, I heard a good joke. Why'd the siamese twins move to London? So the other one could drive."

-- Classic TV Corner: Carol Ann's heroine growing up was a Barker's Beauty, specifically "the one on the left."

-- Continuity Corner: Besides the inventions of Yale, Andrea, Maggie/Conrad, Jenny and Buzz, we learn that Weldon has eight ex-wives and Carol Ann saved herself for marriage. And yet there's no mention of the job she had at the end of Season One, working at the piano factory.

-- Bonnie Hunt nearly became a nurse before she joined Second City Chicago. I'm wondering if the writers learned about that, hence Carol Ann sporting an old school white cap, cardigan, dress and shoes outfit at the end of "Norris' Romance"? 

-- "Where did you hear (the rumor about Janice and Steven Ehrhardt)?" "Grandpa Erhardt." "Who is Grandpa Erhardt?" "Steven's dad. You know, the old man who sits in front of the newspaper office and he whittles sticks in the shapes of animals? Oh, I got ya the unicorn." "Why would he say somethin' like that? I only went to church with him. What is it with these Ehrardts? Man, the next thing they'll be saying is that I went to bed with Grandpa." "Oh, well, I knew that wasn't true."

-- Ratings Roundup: A range of 16.5 ("The Healing") to 10.8 ("Roamers and Rumors"), compared to Cheers, which consistently scored more than 20 million viewers. The exception was "Veggie-Boyd," which had 16 million viewers. To be fair, it and "Romers and Rumors" were NBC's only new programming on Thanksgiving Night 1990. Six episodes left, with only five aired, and the last two surrounded by reruns.