Via Giphy.
"I may be a warlock, but I'm not an exhibitionist."
Grand reaches the finish line with a return to the serialized format. A couple of the characters are revitalized.
"Lady Luck" (Nov. 29, 1990)
Beethoven's is still in the red, to Desmond's despair. Norris has tried attracting customers, with a free beer for bald men week, a crush your own hops night and, for the manic depressives, the happy-sad hour. Janice also has money woes. She needs $250 to buy a green leather suit, which she has elevated to a symbol about the reward for hard work. Janice plans to win the money by playing bingo. Edda gifts Janice a lucky lima bean. It's helped with matters including not having to take a test and becoming stacked. It turns out that Janice's frienemy Marge (Kathy Kinney) also wants the suit. Carol Ann, yet again upset about being lonely, joins the game ... and wins several rounds. Over at Beethoven's, Desmond's desperate act of having lady wrestling is hindered when only one competitor (Spice Williams-Crosby) shows up. Janice accepts $400 to get in the ring, then gives a speech about dignity that impresses her would-be opponent. Janice earns $1,000, gets the suit, and ends the episode trying to work out an agreement with Carol Ann and Edda over custody of the bean, which gets snatched by a crow.
"One Way Out" (Dec. 6, 1990)
Marianne Muellerleile is MVP for this episode, where Colleen moonlights as Carol Ann's bodyguard. Carol Ann's advice column is so successful, Dr. Frank (Eddie Jones) has lost most of his patients. He plans to kill Carol Ann with a crossbow, but instead, Colleen gets shot for the second time in the episode. The upside is that Colleen can recuperate in the Weldon mansion with the man of her dreams, Desmond. She's an expert in Oriental marital arts. "I can tie a noddle with my tongue." "I'll make spaghetti for lunch." "Don't boil it. I'm really good." The episode's other significant development is that Janice throws out her back (Damn that sack of mail for Carol Ann!), goes to the chiropractor and meets Richard (Mark Moses), a seemingly decent guy.
"The Mother Load" (Dec. 13, 1990)
Janice and Richard's relationship is blooming, to the point where he asks her to be his date when he's named Grand's Man of the Year. Norris wanted that honor, which is decided by Weldon. To be fair, Richard is the second in command at the piano works, but still, Norris resolves to one day be honored. He's as determined as Carol Ann is to become a mother. Speaking of mothers, Janice and Edda are visited by "Viva," nee Lana, Crystal, Aida and her real name, Patty (Carroll Baker). Viva, formerly of Las Vegas, is en route to Atlantic City with her fiance, Manny (John Michael Bolger). Manny, jealous over Viva having apparently hooked up with Weldon in the past, breaks up with Viva. Manny ends up crashing the party and shooting Norris rather than Harris. The evening seems to put an end to Janice and Richard. Janice wants Viva to leave town. At the hospital, Weldon tells the unconscious Norris, plus Desmond, that he loves them both. In the waiting area, Carol Ann meets Stan Claus (Richard Roat), who has found her a son. He's in Bethlehem ... Pensylvania. The adoption is on Stan. "Are you sure you're a lawyer?" And in the cliffhanger, Norris flatlines.
"Wolf Boy" (Dec. 20, 1990)
Surprise, Norris is fine! The hospital just has lousy equipment. Meanwhile, Carol Ann is looking forward to being part of "a real American family: a bunch of single people and a baby." It turns out, though, that her son Timmy (Shawn Phelan) is 14 years old and was raised by wolves. Phelan gives the best performance in this episode, but Bonnie Hunt's not far behind. I think the most disappointing part about Grand is that they never quite figured out what to do with Hunt. It's not that she had to emulate Katherine Helmond on Soap, but too often, she seemed to be a little too much of the straight woman, which is a problem, since Pamela Reed was already in that role. Speaking of Janice, Richard is back in her life. He gifts her an amulet and hires her to do p.r. for the piano works. The problem is, "He's either the finest man I've ever met or he's as gay as a tree full of hummingbirds." Richard, for his part, acts mysterious when alone in Janice's stable and generates hostility from Timmy. "Back off, beast! Beware the forces of the blood moon!" The cliffhanger has Carol Ann send Timmy off to run and hide from a planned visit by the authorities, while Janice jumps into a pile of leaves ... and falls into an old well. Also in the episode, Weldon is going overboard being a loving father and a stressed Desmond, feeling underappreciated, schtups Viva on the kitchen table. On his birthday, no less.
"The Well" (Dec. 27, 1990)
Hey, at least the remaining viewers got an action-packed episode. We've got Janice trapped in the well and eventually joined by Carol Ann, who was brought there by Timmy after he decided to do the right thing and not fear potentially being institutionalized. The other main story involves Desmond putting up with Manny, who threatens the Englishman's life but is able to be defeated, first with fencing and then by cutting cards. "I should know better. That's how my dad lost my mom." In perhaps Norris' best moment, he gets one over on Manny, too, convincing Manny to throw over his sword while not actually throwing him his gun. Norris is primed to be a bigger player if Grand continued. Weldon has signed over controlling interest in the piano works, worth $30 million, and is preparing him to lead during an attempted takeover battle. I'm guessing this would have tied into the coven storyline, which is now out in the open. Janice has a nightmare where she is unable to get beyond her maid responsibilities, but an Elvis-clad Richard carries her out of Hell. Back in the stable, Richard continues to keep Edda's secrets before calling his lover, a fellow coven member. We don't see her face, just that she wears black nail polish and the same amulet as Janice. This makes me suspect that we would have gotten a shock reveal that Janice has a long-lost evil twin. Or Carsey-Werner was still negotiating for a name guest star. One possibility comes to mind (see below).
"The End of the World (As We Know It)" (Unaired)
"Richard's a little strange? You got a son who howls at the moon." "It's a quirk, okay?" Timmy tries to help Janice and Carol Ann, throwing a dead squirrel down for the ladies before bringing Norris to the well site. Before that, Norris was being trained to act dumb until he finds out who's behind the takeover attempt. I'm going to assume that he would end up accidentally doing the wrong thing, resulting in estrangement from Weldon until the season finale. Elsewhere, Desmond and Viva seem to have run their course, until he gets inspired to personally drive her to Vegas. Okay, so quickie wedding coming soon ... Most of the remaining episode is spent on the efforts to rescue Janice and Carol Ann, which succeeds. We also get Diedrich Bader as a WPNO reporter, one of the few new characters who's not a coven member. Timmy also has to be kept from pouncing on Richard. I'll bet the twist was going to be that they're actually father and son. No rush, though, as Timmy says his first word, "Mother." The episode ends with Janice poised to be a mother. Richard drugs Janice, prepares to impregnate her, kicks out the coven (who are reciting the lyrics to "Blue Moon") from the bedroom area and looks at a calendar page of Elvira to keep up his mojo. I'm guessing that akin to Soap, the second half of the second season would have dealt with the antichrist baby who would ultimately become a normal, well-loved child. So, you know, same old, same old.
Thoughts:
-- "Janice, something really pathetic has happened and I want to share it with you." "Well, thanks for thinking of me first, Carol Ann" ("Lady Luck").
-- Most of the uploads I watched came from WOTV (now WOOD), the NBC station in my hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan. It appears that "The End of the World (As We Know It)" was originally supposed to air on Thursday, Dec. 20, 1990. Grand's second season started late thanks to NBC airing the pilot to American Dreamer, then The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson's 28th anniversary special, in the slot after Cheers. There was one last preemption in November, for the hour-long Cheers 200th episode special.
-- As Carol Ann despairs about having to wait years to adopt, it's suggested that Weldon contact a lawyer. "Oh, Desmond, please, I may be desperate, but I don't want a lawyer's child" ("The Mother Load").
-- Hey, It's 1990!: Early in "Lady Luck," Weldon is awaiting a call from Russia. "Is it business or is Raisa still trying to fix you up with her sister?" He's excited about closing a multimillion dollar deal "selling pianos to the Commies or whatever the hell they are this week." Later, Marge celebrates having won enough to buy the suit and go to Denny's. "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous."
-- "Confidential to 'Pet Lover.' Remember, husbands live longer than dogs, so make your choice accordingly" ("One Way Out").
-- Weldon never even attended Norris' one-man show, when he portrayed Martin Luther King Jr. ("The Mother Load").
-- "One Way Out" has a nice use of the rule of three, when Weldon, Norris, Desmond and Colleen are trying to convince Carol Ann to not go out in public until the death threats stop. Her protests about getting her nails done and teeth cleaned don't work. Carol Ann mentions her psychiatrist visits and they admit she has a point.
-- "The Mother Load" also has a pair of decent costume-related sight gags. Janice was sent the wrong dress, which is not at all what Richard picked out for her. "I feel like a clown threw up on me." Still, it's good enough for Viva to wear. Later, in Sara Rue's more or less last comedic hurrah, she sports the wig Viva tried to convice Janice to wear.
-- "If Richard really loved you, a little shooting spree wouldn't have scared him off." Followed by, "Look, Richard, I'm really sorry my mother's boyfriend opened fire at your banquet" ("Wolf Boy").
-- Fanservice Junction: Craig Stepp as Father Reyes ("Lady Luck"). Janice casually wonders what he would look like in a Speedo. As usual, he falls for Carol Ann. There's also implied fanservice in "The Mother Load" when Viva gives a police detective who she tried flirting with a photo of Manny. "*tears it* He was just getting out of the shower." "Thanks, we'll return this to you." "Keep it. I'm through with him. In fact, take the other half." "*smiling at the rest of the photo* I hope I catch him."
-- Continuity Corner: "Lady Luck" includes Janice talking about her hopes of having glasses without decals of the Pittsburgh Steelers on them. "One Way Out" has her giving one featuring "Terry Bradshaw. With hair." to Richard. "The Mother Load" also reveals that Janice's maiden name is "Mellencamp."
-- Ratings Roundup: A range of 14.9 for "One Way Out" to 12 for "The Well," which, to be fair, was the only new episode airing that night. Starting on Thursday, Jan. 3, 1991, Wings returned to 9:30 on Thursdays.
-- "How do you like your crepes, Viva?" "Same way I like my men: hot and full of liquor" ("The Well").
-- Next up, hopefully in early May: a belated look at The Earth Day Special.
No comments:
Post a Comment