via IMDB
"... my pants."
"... my pants. ... No, taxes."
"Mr. Brockwell, have you been drinking?"
"Yes."
"Yes. ... No, no. You see, Judy, drinking dulls ..."
"... the drugs."
"... the drugs."
-- The first, both in the batch and with material that's aged uniquely, is "On the Road." Directed by David Steinberg and written by Paul Reiser & Ron Darian & Larry Charles, it's actually a good episode for Reiser. Plans are underway for Jamie's baby shower and despite her best efforts, it's going to be a traditional, cooing and oohing affair. Paul's feeling overwhelmed by the relentless cuteness as well as a little neglected. He wants to have some guy time while he still can, agreeing to go with Ira and Marvin to Marvin's family cabin upstate. Paul needs this trip. Really, who's worried about him right now? "Nobody thinks about daddy." Jamie doesn't need to be sold on the idea, so Paul, Ira and Marvin take off in an old school van, singing along to "Twist and Shout."
-- Naturally, Paul can't stop over-inflating the importance of what's going on. "Only with guys would you have this." Ira gets comfortable enough to reveal a secret. He recently, for the first time ever, experienced impotence. Marvin later reveals he premature ejaculates. Paul teases Marvin, calling him a "big sissy," which results in getting him and Ira stranded at a gas station. A little later, while the cousins are walking after dark, Ira calls Paul out for being obnoxious. Paul complains about people being so sensitive, getting defensive in a way that's especially pathetic in the here and now. Paul and Ira, freezing on that road, practice boxing to keep warm and focused. They end up actually fighting before eventually finding Marvin's van.
-- I like "Road" better than say, "The Gym," because it has the guts to have Paul be an unmistakable jerk and then have him unmistakably pay for it. Paul just keeps making an ass of himself with the pool hall patrons. They don't find it funny that Paul's joke about Marvin was so incredibly wrong. They also don't like Paul's joke about the dog with no legs (you can call him whatever you want, he's not coming to you). They, including some recovering alcoholics, really don't think it's sissy to share about yourself. Paul insists that he's gotta be insensitive. Ira saves the day by revealing Paul's going to be a father, which gets everyone cooing and oohing again and furthers Paul's misery. Soon after, "Twist and Shout" plays as Paul, Ira and Marvin drive home. This time there's no singalong. A little later, Jamie calls Paul a sissy for being impressed by a pair of baby bunny pajamas. He just can't catch a break!
-- The Brockwell saga ends with a whimper, or rather, his whimpers, in "The Cockatoo." Directed by Gordon Hunt, it's by Maria Semple & Richard Day. Jamie's hemming and hawing over quitting Lance's campaign. He's on an upswing and Jamie's booked him on Newsnight with Judy Kaufman (Deborah Theaker), whose recent guests included the Pope. While Paul, Jamie and Fran discuss what's next, the cockatoo flies in -- and won't leave. Over at Brockwell's, Troy and Vlad converse conspiratorially with Arthur, a moment Jamie just catches the end of. Jamie, who's been reading Julius Caesar, grows even more suspicious when Lance reveals that his wife, like Calpurnia, is convinced something terrible is going to happen. Lance is nervous about being interviewed by Kaufman, who "ruined the Pope." He's choking under pressure -- and Jamie puts off quitting the campaign.
-- While Jamie continues to wonder what's up with Troy and Vlad*, Paul and Ira try to get rid of the cockatoo. Ira points out that cockatoos sell for $5,000 as pets. They can be taught phrases like "Nice ass." Paul and Ira strike out at the pet store, initially offered $500, which is marked down to $0. The bird can't even be given away. Ira, to a woman: "Can we interest you in a cockatoo?" He and Paul get slapped. Jamie, meanwhile, has been dispatched to the wrong TV studio ("You here for Sex Date?") and gets stuck in traffic. Lance is left in the not-so-caring hands of Troy and Vlad, who plan to feed him humiliating things to say via an earpiece. Jamie arrives more or less in time, casting out the conspirators and getting Lance back on track. He's now certain he'll win the mayoral race, but is brought down to earth by Jamie quitting. Doing so is ruining his life.
*Lance understands what Jamie's going through. The last time he read Crime and Punishment, he saw parallels everywhere. That was when he was working in the DA's office.
-- Back at the apartment, Paul and Jamie adjust to her new apolitical life. They don't have to watch Lance's interview. They can watch Popeye or Green Acres. Jamie regrets quitting. Will she like being a mother? Then again, marriage hasn't been terrible. Maggie arrives. The cockatoo is hers, "van Gogh." She gives Paul a $5 reward. He talks, you know. He says "pretty eyes." "What's mommy's best feature?" "Nice ass."
-- Our second "No way now!" episode is "The Touching Game." It appears to have been written by committee, with Semple & Darian creating the teleplay for a story (stories? individual scenes?) credited to Jenji Kohan, Jonathan Leigh Solomon, Moses Port & David Guarascio. Gordon Hunt directed. I've mentioned before that I don't really think of Helen Hunt as a physical comedienne, but "Touching" at least comes up with a reasonable way to do "Oh, that wacky Jamie!" Her expanded belly and extra weight creates much mischief. Jamie causes cereal displays to collapse, breaks a coin-operated horsey ride and eventually breaks everything of value -- including a $5,500 cappuccino machine -- while trying to help out at David and Jared's new coffeehouse, Madame DeFarge's.
-- While Jamie's over her pregnancy and Ira's even more over it, Paul is back to being into it. The cousins consider a bus ad asking "Who cares?" before noticing what appears to be a pregnant woman (Aaron Aames) struggling with her bags. Paul and Ira help out, only to discover they were wrong about the pregnancy. They want to make it up to her ("Why don't you go mock the handicapped?"), saying she'll be a great mother, only to find out ... "You think I'm a woman?" Paul, Ira and René are even more mortified when Jared takes their order. "And for the lady?" "Touching" is making fun of androgyny, not transgender people, as well as Paul and Ira's false chivalry, but it all still feels like something best left to the past.
-- Next up, "Dry Run," directed by Michael Lembeck and written by Moses Port, David Guarascio and Larry Charles. Paul and Jamie are not popular with their birthing coach, Amy (Marsha Warfield). The Buchmans have neither rehearsed taking Jamie to the hospital nor watched the video on giving birth. They're only in Amy's class thanks to Joan. If Paul and Jamie aren't at the hospital at 7:30 p.m. tomorrow, Amy's kicking them out. Meanwhile, Buchman's release is held up by Burt & Sylvia haven't not completed their release forms.
-- The Total Filmmaker: In addition to ripping off Citizen Kane, Buchman also has some Rashomon. Sylvia and Debbie tell the story of the former's commemorative JFK spoon going missing. Did Jamie steal it when she was new to the family fold? For years, Jamie's maintained her innocence. She's actually been lying. It was her first time at Burt and Sylvia's. "Who knew we'd still be together?" Paul and Jamie are together to the point of expecting their child and going on the dry run to Roosevelt Hospital. Their cabdriver misunderstands and heads for Roosevelt Island. Not surprisingly, Amy wants nothing else to do with the Buchmans.
-- Ira, continuing to show his worth as a producer, works to remedy the spoon situation. Sylvia either wants the sequence cut from Buchman or for Jamie to admit the theft. Burt takes the opportunity to admit he doesn't like how he looks in the movie. Now he's not signing his release form. Speaking of unflattering movies, Paul and Jamie's video is from 1971. It both looks and sounds like a product of the times. The second attempt at a dry run includes Paul and Jamie's cab getting commandeered by a cop, Paul getting his toe run over by a bike and a re-encounter with the first confused cabbie. If that wasn't enough of a "here we go again," there's a better one at the end. Jamie admits her guilt and returns the spoon. Except it's not Sylvia's JFK spoon. It's Debbie's Elvis spoon.
-- Finally, we have "Guardianhood," directed by Lembeck from a story by Solomon and a script by Victor Levin. Bobby (Seth Green), the 18-year-old brother of one of Jamie and Lisa's friends, can't stop making goo-goo eyes at Jamie while they watch Casablanca. It is kinda flattering. "I apparently am still a babe." Paul and Jamie's immediate concern is selecting their baby's future emergency guardian(s). Ira? "He needs a guardian." Okay, how about Mark and Fran? The Buchmans decide to meet the Devanows at Riff's. Ursula, who doesn't recognize Paul and Jamie, is working. She hasn't been around lately. "Yeah, I got thrown out of my apartment." "Oh, where have you been staying?" "With friends."
-- Speaking of actors with other projects, Richard Kind doesn't actually appear in this episode. Mark's on Fran's phone as they hear Paul and Jamie's request. Fran instantly refuses. She and Mark are already emergency guardians for six other children. Their dance card is full. The Buchmans, hurt, relinquish their guardianhood over Ryan. After rejecting Jamie's parents (who I assume got back together?), Paul and Jamie land on Joan and Debbie. Before another mealtime pitch at Riff's, the Buchmans receive Bobby's latest gift, a cardboard cutout of him in full Bugsy Malone attire.
-- As it turns out, children are a sore subject for Joan and Debbie. Joan wants to have a family with Debbie, while Debbie doesn't want another chance at motherhood. Joan's upset. So is Ursula, who's dealing with her romance woes. Back at the Buchman's ... Uncle Phil? Aunt Blossom? Nat? Paul and Jamie are realizing they don't have as many friends as they thought. What the hell happened to Selby, they wonder. With apparently nowhere else to turn, Paul and Jamie approach Burt and Sylvia ... who are appalled that the younger couple would even think about the idea of dying before their time. Ursula on Sylvia: "She is so funny."
-- Paul and Jamie return to a fuss going on outside their building. Did Mrs. Kendall go outside naked again? No, it's Bobby, with a full orchestra, playing "As Time Goes By." Some elderly passerby misinterpret the situation. "(about Jamie) A sit up wouldn't kill her." Jamie finally gets through to Bobby. She's married (the crowd is shocked) and she's gonna have a baby soon. The crowd disburses and Bobby begins to consider how expensive his wooing campaign was. He doesn't even get to completely give Jamie a Bogart-style farewell. Once that's taken care of, Debbie and Joan arrive. They've patched things up and are ready to be the baby's guardians. And so are Mark and Fran. ... And Burt and Sylvia. ...
-- Hey, It's ...!: Megan Mullally is Jane, another of Jamie and Lisa's friends ("Guardianhood"). She doesn't do anything memorable, which was a bummer.
-- Hey, It's 1997!: "Bigots With Badges" was an actual New York Post cover story on March 16, 1997.
-- Hey, It's 1997!: "Bigots With Badges" was an actual New York Post cover story on March 16, 1997.
-- The Buchmans Go Broadway: The art at Riffs includes posters for Blood Brothers, Grease, Sunday in the Park with George, Guys & Dolls, Follies, A Little Night Music and Crazy For You ("Guardianhood").
-- The Buchmans Go to Sam Goody: They consider Vivaldi, Sinatra, Lyle Lovett, REM and Garbage for music to play during the delivery ("Dry Run")
-- Classic TV Watch: Ira attempts a move he saw on Daktari to get van Gogh and later, Paul asks what Baretta was really like ("Cockatoo").
-- Continuity Corner: What happened to Paul and Jamie's car ("Road")? When did Brockwell fall out of favor with Arthur ("Cockatoo")? Since when do Paul and Ira take the bus ("Touching")? Lisa wasn't even ruled out as the baby's guardian? Paul and Jamie are guardians for Ryan Devanow, but what about Debbie and Sharon Buchman's sons? Does Sharon even exist anymore? ("Guardianhood"). Jamie's birthday is now past Nov. 22, 1963, when previously, it was earlier that year ("Guardianhood"). On a positive note, Jamie still went to Yale ("Touching"). Lisa also appears to be back at the apartment she lived in during "The Finale" ("Guardianhood").
-- Supporting Scores: Ira's in four episodes, followed by Fran and Debbie with three each, Lisa, Burt and Sylvia with two each and Marvin, Maggie, the voice of Mark and Joan with one each.
-- Before the Credits: Paul keeps hurting himself while searching for a pencil for Jamie ("Road"). Caught up in her reading, Jamie's not paying attention to Paul ("Cockatoo"). Paul discovers Jamie's been eating the raisins from his cereal ("Touching"). Jamie reveals the ending to Kramer vs. Kramer, which Paul claims he'll watch, so she can return it to the video rental ("Dry Run").
-- Under the Credits: Marvin tries to tell the dog joke to Ira, but Paul reveals the punchline and Marvin's hurt again ("Road"). Paul and van Gogh chat with each other ("Cockatoo"). Ira's not impressed with the "Who Really, Really Cares?" campaign, taking down and tearing up the placard ("Touching"). Amy, who lives on Roosevelt Island, is being driven to Roosevelt Hospital by the confused cabbie ("Dry Run"). Bobby and Ursula reenact the finale to Casablanca in their own way ("Guardianhood").
-- Ratings Roundup: The show fell to 10th place on April 15, 1997, the night "Touching" aired. Of note: Home Improvement continued to lead for Tuesday nights and ABC premiered Soul Man during this batch. Today's notable TV movie is Too Close to Home, with Judith Light as Rick Schroeder's smothering mother.
No comments:
Post a Comment