What's On Tonight (Monday): You can watch more bowls than a men's room attendant!

 

Via Giphy.

Thank you for the headline, Ghost of Erma Bombeck! Tonight's Top Pick specifically is the 2024 Rose Bowl, taking place in Pasadena, California, and airing on ESPN. It's one of several football games airing today.

While I thank goodness that I at least have the common sense to act excited or groan when people actually watching the games do, let's see what else TV has to offer us for Monday, Jan. 1, 2024. All times are EST.

STREAMING AND HOLIDAY PROGRAMING (Talkin' 'Bout Talk returns next week.)
Changemakers, 3:01 a.m., Paramount+. Premiere. "Featuring the stories of eight ordinary people fighting for a better world. Stories will range from Black mothers in the U.S. fighting the effects of systemic racism to Indigenous people in Ecuador protecting their land from deforestation." Eight episodes available.

Fool Me Once, 3:01 a.m., Netflix. Premiere. "When ex-soldier Maya (Michelle Keegan) sees her murdered husband (Richard Armitage) on a secret nanny cam, she uncovers a deadly conspiracy that stretches deep into the past." Costarring Adeel Akhtar, Joanna Lumley and Emmett J. Scanlan. Eight episodes available.

Bitconned, 3:01 a.m., Netflix. Premiere. "In this true crime documentary, three individuals exploit the freewheeling cryptocurrency market to scam millions from investors and bankroll lavish lifestyles."

You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experience, 3:01 a.m., Netflix. Premiere. "Identical twins change their diets and lifestyles for eight weeks in a unique scientific experiment designed to explore how certain foods impact the body."

The (135th) Rose Parade Presented by Honda, 11 a.m., ABC/NBC/Peacock/GFAM. 2 hours.

Courtesy YouTube.

PRE-PRIMETIME SPORTS

College Football, 12 p.m., ESPN2. ReliaQuest Bowl: Wisconsin vs. LSU.

College Football, 1 p.m., ABC. Cheez-It Citrus Bowl: Iowa vs. Tennessee.

College Football, 1 p.m., ESPN/ESPNU. Vrbo Fiesta Bowl: Liberty vs. Oregon.

NBA Basketball, 3 p.m., NBA TV. Minnesota Timberwolves vs. New York Knicks.

NHL Hockey, 3 p.m., TNT/TruTV. Vegas Golden Knights vs. Seattle Kraken.

Premier League Soccer, 3 p.m., USA. Liverpool vs. Newscastle United.

College Football, 5 p.m., ESPN/ESPN2/ESPNEWS/ESPNU. CFP Semifinal at the Rose Bowl. Alabama vs. Michigan.

PRE-PRIMETIME MOVIES

Murina, 7:15 p.m., The Movie Channel Xtra.

A Shot in the Dark, 7:17 p.m., MoreMax.

Semi-Pro, 7:28 p.m., HBO Signature.

West Side Story, 7:40 p.m., FXM. 2021 movie.

American Hustle, 7:40 p.m., Showtime Extreme.

Courtesy YouTube.

PRIMETIME (CBS and The CW have reruns tonight. Programs at 8 p.m. unless otherwise noted.)

2023 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, ABC. 3 hours. "Performance highlights and standout moments from the annual ceremony. Scheduled performers include Brandi Carlile, Chris Stapleton, Dave Matthews, Elton John, H.E.R., New Edition and St. Vincent."

America's Got Talent: Fantasy League, NBC. Premiere, 2 hours. "Qualifiers 1." "Similar to a fantasy sports draft, judges Simon Cowell, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel and Mel B each build a roster of their favorite acts and guide them throughout the competition as they hope to be crowned the champion. Terry Crews hosts." Followed by a rerun of The Irrational.

M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television, FOX. 2 hours. "Celebrating the beloved and influential comedy; featuring new interviews with cast members and producers, and never-before-seen behind-the-scenes footage, photos and stories." In case you forgot, Alda, Swit, Farr, Burghoff and Farrell are still alive.

Great Performances, PBS. 90 minutes. "From Vienna: The New Years Celebration 2024." "The Vienna Philharmonic rings in the New Year at the Musikverein in Vienna with host Hugh Bonneville and the Vienna City Ballet." Encore at 9:30 p.m.

CFP Semifinal at the Allstate Sugar Bowl, 8:45 p.m., ESPN/ESPN2/ESPNEWS/ESPNU. Texas vs. Washington.

Taking on Taylor Swift, 9 p.m., CNN. "Sean Hall speaks on how decades of cultural appropriation have shaped the music industry and gives insight on the case against Taylor Swift."

Johnny Carson, 10 p.m., Antenna. Eddie Murphy and McLean Stevenson are the guests on this Jan. 1, 1982, episode.

Movie Night! (The expanded version continues until there's once again enough for separate entries at 8, 9 and 10 p.m.)

Gladiator, 8 p.m., Unimas. 2000 movie.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, 8 p.m., AMC.

Monsters, Inc., 8 p.m., Disney.

Christmas at the Drive-In, 8 p.m., GFAM.

One Royal Holiday, 8 p.m., Hallmark.

Barbie, 8 p.m., HBO.

Twisted Sister, 8 p.m., LMN.

Barbershop, 8 p.m., Cinemax.

Beau Is Afraid, 8 p.m., Showcase.

Monkey Business, 8 p.m., TCM.

Grumpy Old Men, 8 p.m., Pop.

Plane, 8:14 p.m., Starz. 2023 movie.

Ratatouille, 8:20 p.m., Freeform.

American Gangster, 8:50 p.m., HBO2.

Friday, 9 p.m., BET.

The Karate Kid Part II, 9 p.m., StarzEncore. 1986 movie.

The Simpsons Movie, 9 p.m., FXX.

Scream VI, 9 p.m., Sho2.

Golda, 9 p.m., Showtime.

X, 9 p.m., The Movie Channel.

Air Force One, 9:30 p.m., Vice. Also airing at 7 p.m.

X-Men: Days of Future Past, 9:42 p.m., HBO Family.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, 10 p.m., Bravo.

Avengers: Age of Ultron, 10 p.m., FX.

Wonder Woman 1984, 10 p.m., TNT.

Blades of Glory, 10 p.m., TruTV.

Courtesy YouTube.

LATE NIGHT PICK! (Late Night Talk returns next week.)

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 1:30 a.m., Paramount.

Sources: Futon Critic, zap2it.