Courtesy jacksonupperco.com/Sony Pictures Television
"Our child's first words are gonna be 'Who's your big daddy?'"
-- I admit it. I can be a snob when it comes to writing credits. I get wary if I see too many "and"s, especially under both "story by" and "screenplay/teleplay by" I also get concerned if there's so many new and/or short-lived names. My flags were up when I saw that the majority of this batch of Mad About You episodes were written by people who were only around for Season Six. Like I said, I'm a snob. There's plenty of changeover in TV shows' writing rooms. It's not that unusual.
-- Mad About You was in an unwinnable situation as Season Six began. The show still had good enough ratings, so there wasn't much reason to end things with "The Birth." Paul and Jamie have a daughter, Mabel. At this point in the series, she's an infant. There's no getting around it. Well, there is, but I'll get to that in a moment. Now that the Buchmans are parents, the episodes are practically pre-plotted (or at least, there's no shortage of plot elements to plug in). The show itself also really hasn't changed. Paul and Jamie still are navigating their final frontier. If MAY skipped any step in the journey, like, say, rapidly aging Mabel between seasons, I'd be bitching about it. As I mentioned, it's an unwinnable situation. Paul and Jamie can't stay in place. I just wish their moving forward was more interesting.
-- Four of this batch's episodes were directed by Gordon Hunt. The first and one of the better ones is "Speed Baby," one of only two episodes written by Season Six-only producer Roger Director (Moonlighting). A tired Paul and Jamie can't get a crying Mabel to sleep. Paul and Ira are meeting with Belgians in the morning about possible distribution of Buchman. Paul wants Jamie to take herself and Mabel into the living room and/or agree to hire a nanny, both of which she refuses to do. Mabel's first checkup is also in the morning, but Jamie can't wait. She wants to call Dr. Kekitch (Markus Redmond), who's only seeing Mabel because he's a friend of Joan's. Dr. K's clients are more prestigious ... Rosie O'Donnell, Donald Trump (different times!) and Sinead O'Connor, to name three. Here in 2021, I'm not only shaking my head at the Trump reference, but thinking, "Nobody told Paul and Jamie about the purple crying period?"
-- Jamie calls Kekitch and won't take no for an answer. Annoyed, he calls Joan and Debbie. Joan thinks it's all just a wild overreaction, but it's too late for Debbie, who means to call Paul and Jamie, but accidentally gets her parents. Sylvia answers the phone with "What's wrong with the baby?" Sylvia is unable to reach Paul and Jamie and Debbie's unable to call back Burt and Sylvia (Hey, It's the Era Before Text Messaging!). En route to the doctor's office, Paul and Jamie notice that Mabel fell asleep in the cab. It stops, and she's crying again. Back at the younger Buchmans', Burt tries to get answers from Murray. Sylvia calls Joan and also lets Joan know she's not ready to be called "Mom" by her. Debbie, meanwhile, can't find her parents at their place, which furthers her paranoia. She also doesn't want Joan to call Sylvia "Mom." Anyway, while riding an elevator, Paul and Jamie realize Mabel's fallen asleep again. She just needs to be in movement for 10 straight minutes to do the trick. Now what should they do about the unnecessary doctor's appointment?
-- As it turns out, Paul does have a cell phone. He calls Ira, who tells Paul how to rig the elevator so that it only stops at the lobby and roof. It's still an express elevator, though, so Paul and Jamie's next idea is to jog with Mabel. Paul's quickly exhausted. The neighborhood includes a health club. Cut to Paul and Mabel sharing a treadmill. Jamie points out that Paul doesn't need to be jogging along with the baby. The treadmill trick works, but is foiled by an impatient club member (Gary Grossman). Over at Kekitch's building, Burt, Sylvia and Debbie are confused by the elevator that only has two stops. In the lobby, they run into Kekitch, confused by "the Buchmans and their daughter."
-- Paul and Jamie, meanwhile, have gotten in another cab. Their Gen X driver, Keanu (Jeff Cahill), accepts the task of driving for 10 straight minutes. He won't stop for a fire engine (taking a sharp turn to get out of its path) or a police car with its lights on. Back at his place, Ira has cancelled his and Paul's meeting. The Belgian man Ira called decides to call his wife, waking up both her and their baby. Back in New York, Paul and Jamie's mission is a success. Not only that, but the cop tailing Keanu was a dad himself and understood. The three Buchmans return home. Paul and Jamie are ready for sleep ... but they and Mabel are kept up by a frantic Burt, Sylvia and Debbie at the door.
-- Mel Brooks returns in "Uncle Phil and the Coupons," directed by David Steinberg and written by Paul Reiser & Victor Levin. Paul and Jamie have a busy day ahead of them. They're meeting with the principal (Anne-Marie Johnson) of a prestigious preschool that may accept Mabel. Paul's also going shopping with Uncle Phil. And Jamie's doing something personal with Ira. That's all Paul knows, that it's personal. Jamie informs Paul that coupon fraud is a crime. He wonders if the offenders are in the same jail as people who rip the tags off mattresses. Anyway, the interview goes well. Jamie insists that Mabel is an especially cultured one-month-old. Shortly after, it turns out that she's planning on getting a tattoo. Jamie knows Paul will object, which is why she doesn't want him to find out until after she has it. Ira understands, observing that there's nothing sexier to a guy than a lady with a tattoo and that Jamie getting one will serve as a reminder of who she used to be. The tattoo artist (Bernard Hocke), meanwhile, thinks Ira and Jamie are a couple.
-- Like the previous Uncle Phil episodes, "Coupons" allows for Brooks (who gets a huge -- sweetened? -- ovation for his entrance) to do some schtick. A hat that looks like a dog can also protect the home and provide the benefits of a scarf. With Phil's coupons, there is such a thing as a free lunch. There can never be enough ointment for a baby. Anyway, Phil attempts to redeem bags worth of coupons, resulting in the clerk (David Koechner) getting the cops. Because Paul, et. al collected coupons for Phil, they must also appear in court. Prior to this, Paul gets Ira to reveal Jamie's tattoo plans. Naturally, he's against it. Besides his just not liking tattoos, Paul feels it would ruin the work of art that is Jamie's body. Ira is drafted to convince Jamie not to get a tattoo. Using Paul's sentiment, Ira succeeds, while Jamie wonders why Paul never says such eloquent things to her. On the other hand, it's maybe best if Paul doesn't speak. Mabel was nearly accepted at the Hanover School, until Paul answered honestly about whether or not he's been convicted of a felony.
-- Phil's responds to his coupon fraud charge by blowing a raspberry. The prosecutor (Robert Curtis Brown) points out that in order to have legally obtained all the coupons he had, Phil would have had to consume or at least purchased 350 pounds of crackers, 1,000 bottles of cherry soda and 380 pounds of cat food. "You're a thin man." "I read labels." Phil ends up getting the prosecutor on the stand, breaking him down by invoking the memories of the lawyer's family scrimping and pinching (including cutting coupons) to put him through school. The case is dismissed. As for Jamie's tattoo, Paul loves it! She got a heart somewhere in her lower back-hip-ass region. Paul enjoys checking out Jamie's "neighborhood." Mabel cries and Jamie runs to see what's up. "There goes the neighborhood."
-- Next up, "Moody Blues," a one-and-done script from Season Six-only producer Lisa Melamed (Party of Five). Jamie doesn't believe she has postpartum depression. She does. She's on edge about her appearance, attending a benefit performance of The Pirates of Penzance directed by Paul and Paul's supposed fishing for praise about doing something for charity. Fran, a mover and shaker, did exactly that and arranged for Jamie to once again have her hair done by Arturo. Jamie is euphoric at the news. Paul's Penzance cast, meanwhile, are all senior citizens. Miriam Sass, not Sylvia, is the star. It's the final rehearsal and Burt's having trouble remembering the lyrics to the "Major-General's Song," The accompanist (Billy Barnes) keeps vamping.
-- At the salon, Jamie meets a young woman who's getting married (Sydney Bennett). The bride-to-be ends up listening to Jamie's rant about being a wife and mother. "... How many bridesmaids are you having?" Back at rehearsal, Paul attempts to direct Burt, who's confused about the idea of the Major-General having to search for the word "hypotenuse." That's the least of Paul's problems. As he tells Jamie while they eat Ben & Jerry's, Miriam has dropped out of the production and Paul now has to beg Sylvia to replace her. It seems that Miriam's daughter has called off her wedding after a fateful meeting with some lunatic in a salon. A guilty Jamie tosses her ice cream out the kitchen window. She's at the end of her rope. Someone -- either Jamie or Paul -- is going to have to leave and never come back. Ira arrives. He can't believe his luck. Somebody threw a pint of Ben & Jerry's out their window.
-- While Burt practices enunciation, Paul successfully convinces Sylvia to save the show. Back at the Buchmans', Miriam and Roberta show up. Miriam says Jamie has destroyed a young girl's life, not to mention a perfectly good production of The Pirates of Penzance. Miriam knows what Jamie's going through. She only got over her postpartum depression when Roberta got engaged. Jamie reassures Roberta that the smartest things she's ever done were marrying Paul and having his child. That's good enough for Miriam, who drags Roberta out by her ear before she can ask more questions. Over at the playhouse, Sylvia is just barely getting though the performance. Luckily, Miriam takes over. Jamie arrives in time for her and Paul to watch Burt abandon the traditional Major-General lyrics and speak-sing a bit about his life. Burt mentions the time he and Sylvia caught adolescent Paul with his "schmeke" out. Now Paul's depressed ...
-- Jamie and Paul plan to have their first post-pregnancy date in "The Magic Pants," a one-and-done script from Season Six-only producer Mike Martineau (Rescue Me). They've found the right babysitter, Arley (Lili Taylor). Paul, unfortunately, doesn't have the right pants. Thanks to a mix up at the dry cleaner's, he has David Copperfield's pants. Not only does a label say so, but a pocket also contains several multi-colored scarves tied together. Speaking of illusions, so is Jamie's supposed confidence about spending 90 minutes away from the apartment. She first leaves it while carrying Mabel. Jamie's nerves don't let up while in the cab with Paul. Nothing helps, not even the bunny he finds ("I'm actually scared of my pants.") or an especially passionate kiss that gets interrupted by a burst of confetti and a noisemaker. "That's never happened before."
-- While Paul goes to return Copperfield's pants, Jamie attempts to check up on Mabel without actually returning to her apartment. Once again, technology has made that sort of thing easier, but back in the day, it requires Jamie to first enlist the help of Ira and then Nat. Arley, who's been reading Moby Dick to Mabel (babies love the book's rhythm and imagery), knows what's up. It doesn't help that both Ira and Nat carry the same bunny. Both guys assure Jamie that Mabel is fine, but she's concerned when they mention that the baby's making sounds. Is she cooing or fussing? Outside the Winter Garden Theater, Paul can't get in to see David Copperfield. He discovers both a hidden ice cream sundae and that the pants can act as a phone. An obscured David (identified in the credits as "The Shadowy Figure" played by Noel Webb; I'm positive Hank Azaria is doing the voice) calls down. Paul uses a magic rope, found on the pants, to climb up to David's window. Presto-chango, both men have their correct pants again.
-- Jamie gives up trying to covertly check on Mabel. Arley understands, and finds it sweet. Jamie's finally ready to have dinner with Paul. Arley and Mabel are at the adjoining table.
-- Finally, "Le Sex Show," written by Moses Port & David Guarascio. Jamie doesn't like that Paul invited Debbie and Joan over for dinner, but expects them to bring the food. Jamie says so during a therapy session with Sheila. Paul doesn't like that Sheila's now recording the sessions. Parenthood has changed Paul and Jamie. They haven't seen a movie in ages. The last time they saw Fran and Mark was when they took the couple's car to get washed. And they haven't had sex since before Mabel was born. Jamie claims to be ready to have sex again. Paul also finds out that Jamie lied. They didn't have to wait until six months after Mabel was born. They could have had sex as soon as six weeks after the birth. What does being ready mean, Paul wants to know. Is it like someone considering looking at the dessert menu or thinking, "Oh boy! Cake!"? Sheila points out that Paul's putting pressure on Jamie and questions if he's showing interest in her or sex itself. Paul claims that he wants Jamie so badly, he's coveting her.
-- Nobody comes off all that great in "Sex." Jamie's dishonest, Paul's obnoxious and Debbie and Joan aren't much better. The lesbians are picking up pizza at Joan's favorite pizza place. It's got a costumed employee (Lewis Black) who's giving out flyers. Debbie doesn't want one. The guy wants to get rid of his flyers, He gets lewd, saying he knows Debbie wants it and flips up the front of his costume in a vaguely obscene manner. Debbie gets upset and leaves. Back at the Buchmans, Paul and Jamie are checking out each other's asses. She gives him a big kiss, but they're interrupted by their guests. Joan is upset about missing out on the city's best pizza. Debbie is upset that Joan's not upset about how hurt she was by the scene. Paul and Jamie, realizing they don't have to have dinner with Debbie and Joan, kick out their guests. The Buchmans make sure to get Mabel out of the bedroom so they can have sex, but forget to turn off the baby monitor.
-- Paul and Jamie's next therapy session is all over the place. It goes from their guilt over possibly traumatizing Mabel to whether or not Jamie faked it (she did so once before, in the Poconos). Paul's not happy about this revelation. That night, he and Jamie plan to have their belated pizza dinner with Debbie and Joan. Debbie's not happy that Paul went to the same pizza place as before. Jamie, who's realized that Mabel is fine, wants another attempt at having sex with Paul. She gets him in the mood by flashing her boobs. The lesbians can take the baby for a walk. Jamie insists it was great sex, but Paul has his doubts.
-- Session No. 3: Jamie's credibility is in question, Paul says. It doesn't matter that Jamie had two orgasms. Here's why: Paul wasn't fully committed. He was still aroused and he still came (naturally, Paul Reiser/Buchman can't actually say as much at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday on NBC in 1997), but he's a guy, he can do that without being in the zone. While Paul and Jamie were having sex, he was actually distracted by everything including how to pay for Mabel's college education. Now Jamie's upset again. Sheila says the Buchmans rushed their return to sex and advises they go back to abstinence. Paul counters with an offer of doing it at least one more time, for all the marbles. The Buchmans have sex, mutually agreeing it was a "solid six" experience.
-- "Sex" was dedicated to George O. Petrie (Sid), who died just over a week before it aired.
-- The Buchmans Go Broadway: Checking out Jamie's tattoo, Paul says that you gotta have heart ("Coupons"). I feel like I should recognize what the accompanist in "Moody" is playing. Billy Barnes wrote for pop, theater and variety shows, perhaps most notably Laugh-In. Also, I'm no expert on Penzance, but Miriam/Sylvia appears to be playing (Gilbert & Sullivan's) Mabel, yet the role is referred to as "the pirate queen." Speaking of bloopers, let's start with the obvious. David Copperfield didn't appear on Broadway in 1997-98, let alone at the Winter Garden Theater (which is where Cats was still playing). Footage in the establishing shot is apparently from the 1960s, as the marquee for Mame can briefly be seen. Broadway posters seen in this batch include Carmelina ("Moody") and at Riff's, Da, Blood Brothers, the 1987 London production of Follies, Amen Corner and the original production of Grease ("Pants").
-- Today in Music: Uncle Phil sings "Beyond the Blue Horizon" at Buy-a-Lot and quotes "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" while defending himself in court ("Coupons").
-- The Total Waitress: Ursula, seen only in "Pants," comments that Jamie looks different since last time. It's not that she's given birth. It's either that she got a haircut, or maybe that she had her braces removed and sold her hat. Later, Ursula is retroactively triggered by Psycho and says that she had one as a girl. A purple sweater, not a bunny.
-- The Buchmans Go to Barnes & Noble: Jamie is reading The Bridges of Madison County and keeps $200 hidden in Al Franken's book ("Moody"). Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations is also referred to, but not named, when Nat verifies his identity by identifying some of Paul and Jamie's books. They also include Up in the Old Hotel and Herzog ("Pants").
-- Continuity Corner: Uncle Phil is referred to in court as "Philip Irwin Buchman," so presumably he legally changed his name from Deuteronomy Irwin Buchman ("Coupons"). Jamie gives Arley the number to "my parents," so presumably Gus & Theresa reunited ("Pants").
-- Awards Watch: Helen Hunt won her third consecutive lead actress Emmy with "Moody Blues." Mel Brooks won his second consecutive guest acting Emmy for "Uncle Phil and the Coupons." I forgot to mention this yesterday, but "Coming Home" was also Carol Burnett's guest acting Emmy submission. She lost to Emma Thompson as herself (actually a lesbian from the South) on Ellen.
-- Supporting Scores: Ira's in four episodes, followed by Burt and Sylvia in three, Debbie and Joan in two and Fran, Nat, Maggie and Sheila in one each. Fran actually only appears in three episodes this season.
-- Before the Credits: Paul and Jamie's trick or treater may or may not actually be an adult ("Speed"). Paul demonstrates how to replace a toilet paper roll ("Voila."), but Jamie is unapologetic ("I gave birth.") ("Coupons"). Paul's adamant about not receiving a baby products business' catalogs, until Jamie finds a quilt she likes ("Pants"). Paul's wishbone wish was for more chicken ("Sex").
-- During the Credits: "Speed Baby" has a unique opening, sort of a hybrid between the opening credits for Speed and one of Christopher Reeves' Superman movies.
-- Under the Credits: The Belgian woman tries to reach her husband, but ends up getting the Mir space station and the planet Saturn ("Speed"). Uncle Phil sings "Cheek to Cheek" to Mabel before they both fall asleep ("Coupons"). Paul and Jamie sing a "Major-General" variant before leaving leaving the pianist in the kitchen ("Moody"). Paul thinks Jamie's getting frisky, but it's actually the bunny ("Pants"). The Pizza Slice is another of Sheila's patients and he's frustrated that his new assertiveness isn't working out ("Sex").
-- Ratings Roundup: A range of 10.6 and tying for No. 7 for "Pants" and 11.1 and No. 4 for "Sex." During this time, two networks altered their Tuesday night schedules. Moesha replaced Clueless as UPN's lead-off show with Clueless taking Moesha's old 8:30 p.m. slot. Over on ABC, Soul Man moved from 8:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. (as the lead-in to the short-lived Over the Top), then back to 8:30 p.m. after Top ended and Grace Under Fire became the night's temporary new lead-off show.
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