Thoughts on She-Devil

via Giphy

"It seems like if you're a woman, there's just no justice in the world."

"Well, I always found that justice serves those who serve themselves."

It's not a crime for two similar-enough movies to be released around the same time. But on the same day? She-Devil, directed by Susan Seidelman and adapted from Fay Weldon's novel by Barry Strugatz & Mark R. Burns, might have had better luck at the box office if it wasn't up against The War of the Roses. Then again, I'm not sure anything could have helped She-Devil. It's unfunny, drags and wastes its leading ladies.

Ruth Patchett (Roseanne) and Mary Fisher (Meryl Streep) only interact together three times in She-Devil. First at the same time that Mary begins her affair with Ruth's husband Bob (Ed Begley, Jr.), second when Ruth drops off her children before pursuing the next steps of her revenge plot against Mary and Bob and finally when the plot has been completed and everyone's come out more or less better from the experience. In between these encounters, you get a lot of Ruth snarling about "Mary Fisher"* and Mary devolving from successful, glamorous romance novelist to harried housewife.

*Idea for a drinking game: a shot every time Mary says "beautiful" or Ruth says "Mary Fisher." You'd be plastered by about the time Linda Hunt shows up! Later in the movie, you can take shots every time Mary makes a sound that combines cooing with moaning. One more thing about "Mary Fisher." Meryl fans (or haters) could run that soundbite on a loop with "Madeline Ashton."

Bob has four assets, he tells Ruth as he's leaving her. His home, his family, his career and his freedom. She proceeds to take them away in that order. We know this from the start of the revenge, as it continues and by its completion. She-Devil, like Harlem Nights, unfolds in an A-B-C-D fashion that is just plain boring to watch. Even when something takes Ruth by surprise, like Hooper (Hunt) having $55,000 to invest with or that Bob has been embezzling from his clients, it's almost instantly used to her advantage.

"You would think a 41-year-old woman would have learned to appreciate her mother."

"You would think that a mother would appreciate the very expensive nursing home her daughter pays for."

"Mary, I ... thought you were 34."

"Ah, she's 41. I got the birth certificate to prove it."

"Don't listen to her. She's getting, uh, senile."

"Bullshit! I remember everything. I remember when just a teenager ..."

"(interrupting) I'm not interested in what you remember, so just shut up!"

*the outburst has frightened away every seagull in the vicinity*

"You may clear the first course, Garcia."

Just like with Roses, I've yet to read the novel that inspired She-Devil. This ended up being the last movie credited to the Strugatz & Burns team. They previously wrote Married to the Mob, which greatly benefited from Jonathan Demme's direction and sense of style. I'm no expert regarding Seidelman's filmography, but I wouldn't be surprised if this was a situation where she was a hired gun rather than having any great investment in the material. Perhaps nobody** could make a good movie*** out of this.

**I'm curious what kind of movies John Waters, Paul Bartel or Pedro Almodóvar would have made.

***I am aware there was a BBC miniseries adaptation made a few years before She-Devil. Is it worth a viewing?

Unfortunately, they still made the movie, with its relentless parade of ugly people and ugly attitudes.

"And by the way ... I think that Bob ... is a beautiful name."

Not Recommended.

Thoughts:

-- And hey, in this one, a dog dies. RIP Juliet.

-- Box Office: Grossing over $15 million on a $20 million budget, this opened at No. 5, dropped to #13 the following weekend and came in at No. 67 for 1989.

-- Awards Watch: Meryl received a Golden Globe nomination, losing to Jessica Tandy.

-- Fun With Billing: Meryl, then Roseanne, then the title. A year or two later and Roseanne's people could have insisted on equal billing. In the then and now, there was apparently no hard feelings.

via Ebay

-- TV Tropes pointed it out: What the hell happened to Hooper? I'm assuming she made a tidy profit from the success of the Vesta Rose Employment Agency, but she disappeared from the movie as easily as she entered it. Speaking of which, even a moment where Hooper accidentally appears when Mary's "visiting" Mrs. Fisher (Sylvia Miles) at the retirement home for the benefit of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous would have worked as a setup for her later appearance.

-- Speaking of Mrs. Fisher ... yes, she's in the right to be upset at Mary neglecting her. But good God in Heaven, wouldn't any sane person want to strangle her? That cackle! By the way, I'm not sure what was the point of Mrs. Fisher revealing that Mary gave birth to a son when she was a teenager if we never get to meet the now-adult.

-- Critic's Corner, the movie: It probably qualifies as a feminist fable, Hal Hinson wrote for the Washington Post. "But if so, it was made by the most self-loathing feminist imaginable." The biggest mistake, he continued, was giving Ruth no redeemable qualities. "She doesn't even seem to be much of a mother. And because we have no feeling for her, we can't take any pleasure in her angry plotting." One more: "It's hard to imagine that a man could have been as ruthlessly coldblooded as Seidelman has been about Ruth's unattractiveness."

-- Critic's Corner, Meryl: "This may be my first time watching a Streep performance and sensing that she actively dislikes the character she is playing," John Guerin wrote for The Film Experience. People: "Everybody makes a mistake once in a while, Meryl. This one ought to hold you for 13 or 14 years."

-- Critic's Corner, Roseanne: Since Meryl had the jokes, she was left to look stranded, Peter Travers wrote in Rolling Stone. Variety bucked the trend, saying Roseanne broke the big screen heroine mold and Meryl blew away any notion that she can't be funny.

-- Critic's Corner, Ed Begley, Jr.: Having him as a Lothario was perhaps the most hilarious part of the movie, Matthew Eng wrote for The Film Experience. "(He's) too much of a sexual lightweight to qualify as a love object," according to Hinson. Roger Ebert was kinder, observing that Bob is a character constantly driven by lust, greed and envy. "He projects these emotions so effortlessly, I hop they're grooming him for the Donald Trump story." 

-- Fanservice Junction: Despite Ed's nicer than expected ass in the scene where Bob's towel falls, I still have to give the crown to A. Martinez as Garcia, Mary's spurned "butler." He did lose several points for being way too close with young Nicolette (Elisebeth Peters), though.

-- Howard Shore is a talented composer, but I really, really hated his score for this movie. It's often trying too hard to sell Ruth's devilish qualities.

-- Larry (Jack Gilpin), Bob's attorney, charges $350 an hour. Owen from Roses charges $450 an hour. Who knew corporate lawyers take a backseat to the divorce guys?

-- I sometimes wonder if this would have been better received as a TV movie. It feels like the pool of women who could play Mary would be wider. Loni Anderson. Lauren Hutton. Donna Mills. Lindsay Wagner. Anyone from Charlie's Angels. Suzanne Somers. Victoria Principal. Cybill Shepherd. Connie Selleca. Linda Evans or Joan Collins.

-- Next: Driving Miss Daisy. On deck: Glory.