Profiles In Scourge And Other Thursday Headlines

In Case You Missed It: Evan Hurst's Sham Trial Live Blog [Wonkette]

'Romney: One Man Alone' [The Bulwark]

Claire McCaskill Got Teary Eyed Over Mitt's Willingness To Break From The Cult [MSNBC Video]

Marie Yovanovitch: 'It Is The American Way To Speak Up About Wrongdoing' [The Washington Post]

It Was Alec Baldwin's Turn On Wednesday To Fight With Overpaid Professional Dumb Person John McCain's Daughter [The Daily Beast]

Via Giphy

Spotify Is Buying The Ringer [Recode]

Undercover Boss Is Only Ten Years Old? [The A.V. Club]

The Getting-Your-First-Period Classic Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Will Finally Come To The Big Screen [Deadline]

Bill Oakley And Yeardley Smith Would Like Mike Pompeo To Keep The Simpsons Out Of His Fucking Mouth [Buzzfeed News]

WHAT THE FUCK? [The New York Times]

Via Tenor

I Swear, I'm Not This Anonymous Oscar Voter Who Can't Fucking Stand Little Women [The Hollywood Reporter]

Jameela Jamil Continues To Be Utterly Exhausting [Page Six]

1917 Is A 'Technical Marvel' [The Ringer]

An 'Aspiring Social Media Star' Did Something Cunty, Color Me Shocked [Business Insider]

A Puppy For Valentine's Day? Yes, Please! [People Via MSN]

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Disbelief Over The Mookie Betts Trade Continues [Yahoo! Sports]

Mr. Met Is Denying That He's Officially Endorsing Michael Bloomberg [New York Post]

Kurt Warner's Life Story Is Getting The Movie Treatment [Awful Announcing]

A New Poll From Berkeley Claims A Majority Of Native Americans Find 'Washington Redskins' Offensive [DCist]

It's Never Too Early To Think About March Madness [NCAA]

Via Tenor

Notable Television Premieres On This Day
Smash [2012]

American Dad! [2005]

Today's Anti-Trumpidote