Thoughts on Apartment Zero

Courtesy Cinemaqueer.com

It's stereotypical, but I have lamented the heterosexuality of a few guys. One of them is Colin Firth.

"Jack, I have to look at you and be sure. I mean, if that is a mask, take it off now or keep it on forever. If you want to keep secrets, God knows you're entitled, but please, just don't try to confuse me. You'll only ... confuse me."

*extreme close up of Jack's partial face*

"What do you want to know? *saucy eyebrow raise* Hmm?"

*extreme close up of Adrian's partial face as Jack keeps talking*

"Come on, tell me."

"... Who are you?"

"... Whoever you want me to be."

Tsk-tsk, Jack (Hart Bochner). Nobody likes a tease. Then again, Adrian (Firth) isn't especially forthright, either. Neither are director-screenwriter Martin Donovan and co-screenwriter David Koepp. Apartment Zero had potential, but I found it too coy to be a classic. 

"I don't know. My horoscope says avoid decisions."

"Here, let me see that. ... What are you?"

"Gemini."

"That's nonsense. You ... are an Aquarias. Like James Dean. See? Says, 'Seize opportunity.'"

"Can I just switch like that? ... I mean, is that legal? ... Is that what you want me to do?"

Firth and Bochner had good chemistry together. I didn't have any problem at all believing Jack could charm or seduce anyone -- even Mohammad the cat -- in that apartment building. I'm just wondering if Apartment Zero was biting off more than it could chew. Is it about unrequited gay love? Requited gay love? Like with Sea of Love, the thriller component wasn't as interesting as I expected.

"Are you Australian?"

"It's none of our business, dear."

"It was an innocent question. Anyone can be an Australian nowadays."

Apartment Zero also shares the trait of having an unexpectedly fascinating ensemble. Their monologues are all a bit forced and they tend to range from the dopey to the slightly grotesque, but they do continue the film's theme of people not always being who you'd expect them to be.

*Every tenant but Adrian and Jack is watching a news broadcast*

"There is no recognizable look to the killer. He could be anyone. Perhaps someone you know. Someone in your family. Someone you work with. Someone you trust. Even your next door neighbor."

*more reaction shots than you can shake a stick at*

It's close, but Not Recommended.

Thoughts:

-- "Oh, Mother, tell me what to do!"

-- Box Office: Grossing nearly $1.3 million, this came in 160th place for 1989.

-- Critic's Corner: "Hilariously awful," Vincent Canby wrote. "Lurid and overwrought, almost a self-parody," according to Roger Ebert. "Awkward to the point of ludicrousness," said Kevin Thomas of the Los Angeles Times. On the other hand, Peter Travers liked it. "... a dazzling mix of mirth and menace ... a thriller that plumbs the violence of the mind." I'd love to know what The Advocate thought.

-- Fanservice Junction: Jack wears only a towel while trying to look inside Adrian's desk.

-- Ha-ha, of course Claudia is Jack's thirteenth victim.

-- Poster Watch: In addition to the ones belonging to Adrian, one for Three Men and a Baby is visible during the opening sequence.

-- So, do we think Adrian genuinely loved Jack? What about vice-versa?

-- Hopefully before the weekend ends: Black Rain and The Big Picture.