Hey there boys and girls its time for What's On Tonight for Friday August 30th 2019.
Streaming:
Amazon Prime has "Carnival Row" starring Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevigne. Running for 8 episodes "A human detective and a fairy rekindle a dangerous affair in a Victorian era set fantasy world where the city's uneasy fragile peace collapses when a string of murders reveals an unimaginable monster" Oh look Jared Harris and Alice Krige are both in the cast as well! I like that Amazon is taking a big swing with this one, even tho i honestly have no idea from the ads i've seen for it if this is gonna actually be good or a giant effing mess. It could go either way.
Not to be outdone but Netflix drops a new pricey series of its own in the wee hours of tonight---"The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance" starring Awkwafina (she really is everywhere right now isn't she???), Helena Bonham Carter, Taron Egerton, Natalie Dormer, Harvey Firestein, Mark Hamill, Lena Headey, Jason Issacs, Eddie Izzard, Theo James, Toby Jones, Keegan Michael Key, Simon Pegg, Andy Samburg, Sigourney Weaver, Alicia Vikander, Benedict Wong, Ana Taylor Strong, Mark Strong, Gugu Mbatha Raw, Caitriona Balfie, and somehow returning from the original movie---longtime Muppets performer Dave Goetz (Anyone other big names i failed to list here??? You don't also happen to have Bob Hope back there do you? The Fonz?)
Running for 10 episodes
"Returning to the world of Thra, where three Gelfing discover the horrifying secret behind the Skeksis' power, and set out to ignite the fires of rebellion and save their world" (WHO ASKED FOR THIS?!?!?!? I ALMOST FEEL LIKE THIS IS THE RESULT OF SOMEONE WISHING ON A STAR)
Anyways these are two big ass budgeted productions and the fact that they're both being unveiled on Labor Day Weekend would be mind boggling given how slow the movies are typically on Labor Day Weekend, but i guess a three day weekend is in general a great time to premiere these???
Broadcast TV
8:00
Hawaii 5-0 (CBS): This rerun episode from April has Adam investigating the murder of an undercover FBI agent who was about to wed the daughter of a Yakuza boss. Meanwhile pathologist Noelani is held hostage and forced to perform surgery on a completely different crime boss. (So many crime bosses reside in Hawaii these days--its crazy!)
American Housewife (ABC): This rerun from May has youngest daughter Ana Kat becoming best friends with her mom's most hated snooty rival Chloe Brown Mueller; and Greg encourages Oliver to be honest with his girlfriend about his love of ballet. (Oliver is a surprisingly graceful ballet dancer, not sure why he'd wanna hide that from his girlfriend but whatever)
8:30
Fresh Off The Boat (ABC): Meanwhile in this rerun from March, Eddie begins dating Trent's sister Tina threatening their friendship; Evan fails his phys ed test because he can't run so his mom tries to train him even tho she can't quite run either; and Louis is excited because the restaurant has won the coveted "Golden Prune" award.
9:00
Magnum PI (CBS): In this rerun from November, Mags is asked by TC to investigate the claims of innocence of a man accused of murder who also happens to be the father of one of the kids on TC's peewee football team.
What Would You Do? (ABC): A woman waiting for a rideshare is approached by a man whose details don't match those on her ride app; A woman takes pictures of her daughter on a rowing machine intending to lie on her college application; and teens add nuts to their allergic to nuts' friend's drink. (That middle one---that's not based on a true story by any chance is it????)
Big Family: The Story Of Bluegrass Music (PBS): This new two hour documentary traces the origins and evolution of bluegrass music over the years, and it should be interesting.
Gomer Pyle (MeTV): Gomer and Sgt. Carter are contestants on the Win A Date tv gameshow. (Shazam!)
That's of course followed by Green Acres at 9:30 with "Oliver is fed up with paying storage rates for an item he can't ever remember owning" (I actually like that synopsis!)
Ancient Aliens (History): Throughout the ancient world, structures were built to mirror the constellations on the night sky and only appear when they are viewed from high above, a look at the possibility that these structures were designed for messages. (Ah-Ha!)
Ghost Brothers--Haunted Houseguest (Travel)
10:00
Blue Bloods (CBS): Frank must decide upon implementing a more rigorous fitness test after an officer's lack of fitness running up several flights of stairs endangers the life of his partner chasing a crook up that very flight; Danny is reluctant to re-open a cold case after discovering new evidence in it upon realizing whom the original officer of said case was; Erin is asked by Anthony to try a particular case that's not in her purview. (CBS!)
Killjoys (SYFY): The team goes undercover on a Lethian military base to help find The Lady's true body. (She's a Lady! Whoa oh ohh She's the bad guy! Whoa oh ohh)
The UnXplaned (History): After centuries of study, the human mind remains inscrutable (Much like Tracey Jordan's vanity license plate!) So this show wants to show how the brain is still way more powerful than we even realize still.
Mysteries of the Abandoned (DISCOVERY): Deserted engineering projects tracing the origns of an abandoned American city; a deserted town in Spain; a gigantic town deep in Snowcapped mountains, and a mysterious top secret Soviet facility. (I'm guessing they were all abandoned because of bobcats)
Hogan's Heroes (MeTV): Col Klink is in trouble and only one of Hogan's various schemes can get him out. (Are they kidding me with this description???)
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND EVERYBODY!
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