
via IMDB
"You didn't touch anything, did you?"
"No."
"Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for 'toy.'"
"What is that?"
"It's a penis stretcher. Do you want to try it?"
"No!"
"I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility."