What's On Tonight (Friday): He's Here to Stalk Death and Chew Bubble Gum...

       

Deathstalker

Today's Top Pick is the streaming premiere of Deathstalker.  I had the thought while watching the trailer that it looked like a throwback to low budget 1980's fantasy films like Beastmaster and Krull.  I did about five seconds of research and sure enough this is a remake of a 1983 film.  The film looks fun with a lot of practical effects and gallons of fake blood.  I don't know anyone in the cast, which is how it should be.

A close runner-up is another surprisingly well-reviewed bit of insanity called Pizza Movie.  Unlike Deathstalker, I actually recognize one of the lead actors (Gaten Matarazzo from Stranger Things).  The film follows a couple of loser best friends who take a drug on a whim that has loads of side effects they weren't prepped for.  They must eat a pizza in order to survive their ordeal, but the pizza is on the ground floor of their dorm with two floors of dangers they will have to navigate.  Anyone who has ever dropped acid or done shrooms can probably relate.

We also have the season two premiere of Your Friends & Neighbors.  I don't believe most people were too high on the first season (I didn't watch it), but I wanted to point out that the second season features James Marsden in full on douche mode, which might be my favorite Marsden.  Perhaps he will provide the spice to make season two worthwhile.

⭐🎥 Deathstalker (AMC+ / Shudder, 3:01 AM) STREAMING PREMIERE. 'The Kingdom of Abraxeon is under siege by the Dreadites, heralds of the long-dead sorcerer Nekromemnon. When Deathstalker recovers a cursed amulet from a corpse-strewn battlefield, he's marked by dark magick and hunted by monstrous assassins.'

Elsewhere...  

 PREMIERES

Pizza Movie

🎥 Pizza Movie (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 'High college students face an unexpected journey when they must navigate two flights of stairs to retrieve their pizza delivery, turning a simple task into a surreal adventure.'

🎬 Dream Stage (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Tells the story of the strong bond between a Japanese male producer who was expelled from the industry for causing trouble in the past, and seven dropout trainees from a small Korean entertainment agency, who work together to pursue their dreams, transcending generations and nationalities.'

🎬 Gina Lollobrigida: Diva Contesa (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'A compelling account of the battle over the legacy of a cinema icon and an intense family melodrama.'

🎥 The Truth and Tragedy of Moriah Wilson (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Go beyond the headlines in this documentary about pro cyclist Moriah Wilson's vibrant life, shocking murder and how far her killer went to evade capture.'

🎥 Feel My Voice (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'As the only hearing member of a deaf family, a shy teen discovers her gift for singing, forcing her to choose between duty and finding her own path.'

🎥 Five Nights at Freddy's 2 (Peacock, 3:01 AM) 'One year has passed since the supernatural nightmare at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. The stories about what transpired there have been twisted into a campy local legend, inspiring the town's first ever Fazfest. Former security guard Mike and police officer Vanessa have kept the truth from Mike's 11-year-old sister, Abby, concerning the fate of her animatronic friends. But when Abby sneaks out to reconnect with Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy, it will set into motion a terrifying series of events.'

🎥 Don't Trust the Couple Upstairs (LMN, 8:00 PM) 'Newlyweds Maria and Joe rent out part of their house to Vicki and Clay, a friendly but enigmatic couple. Living together starts well, but when Vicki is killed, Maria uncovers secrets that make her realize Joe isn't the man she married.'

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 Your Friends & Neighbors (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🐶 Bloodhounds (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔔 Gangs of Galicia (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🌊 High Tides (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON THREE.

⚖️ Maamla Legal Hai (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

Gina Lollobrigida: Diva Contesa

STREAMING

🚀 For All Mankind (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Hard Six"

🔔 The Last Thing He Told Me (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Isia Moriendo Renascor"

👹 Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Requiem"

⚖️ Judy Justice (Amazon, 3:01 AM) "Dog Decides Custody" 

🔔 Jury Duty Presents: Company Retreat (Amazon, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. "Culture Fit / Mergers & Acquisitions / Employee Review" 

⚖️ Tribunal Justice (Amazon, 3:01 AM) "From Friends to Frenemies" 

🧑‍🌾 This Farming Life (Britbox, 3:01 AM) "A Deadly Disease" 

⛪ Martin Scorsese Presents: The Saints (Fox Nation, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Mira: Life After Divorce (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

🔥 Women's Hell (HBO Max, 3:01 AM)  

🔔 Still Shining (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. "Episode 9 / Episode 10" 

👮🏻 Cops (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM) 

LIVE SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

⚾ College Baseball: Reese's College All-Star Game (CBSSPT, 3:30 PM)

🏌🏻 PGA Tour Golf: 2026 Valero Texas Open - Round 2 (Golf, 4:00 PM)

🏀 2026 NCAA Women's College Basketball Tournament: South Carolina Gamecocks vs Connecticut Huskies (ESPN / ESPN2, 7:00 PM)

🏀NBA G League Basketball: Teams TBA (ESPNU, 7:00 PM)

🏌🏻‍♀️ LPGA & Ladies European Tour: 2026 Aramco Championship - Round 2 (Golf, 7:00 PM)

⚾ MLB Baseball: Milwaukee Brewers at Kansas City Royals (Apple, 7:45 PM)

⚽ NWSL Soccer: Orlando Pride vs Angel City FC (Amazon, 8:00 PM)

🏈 UFL Football: DC Defenders at Columbus Aviators (Fox, 8:00 PM)

🏀 2026 NCAA Women's College Basketball Tournament: UCLA Bruins vs Texas Longhorns (ESPN / ESPN2, 9:30 PM)

⚾ MLB Baseball: Atlanta Braves at Arizona Diamondbacks (Apple, 9:45 PM)

Your Friends & Neighbors

EARLY PRIMETIME

🔊 Loud House (Nickelodeon, 5:30 PM) 'After struggling to relate to Shelby's interests, Lance tries to bond with her at a live-action role-play event. / Lana tries to save the town garbage man's job when she finds out the mayor is replacing him with an automated garbage truck.'

🔔 Wylde Pack (Nickelodeon, 6:00 PM) 'Will and Min's date ends up in a rideshare turf war; at home, Halmoni throws a party as the kids try to prove they can watch themselves; the family gets famous after the Groom and Board Jingle hits number one, but fame is fickle and tears them apart.'

🕖8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

👮🏻‍♀️ Sherriff County (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'After a mysterious school bus explosion leaves nine students missing, Sheriff Mickey Fox and Cal Fire Division Chief Sharon Leone must set aside their personal conflicts and unite their departments to try and crack the case.'

🍺 Happy's Place (NBC, 8:00 PM) 'Bobbie and Isabella learn Monica will inspect the speakeasy and devise a plan to get her in and out without running into Emmett; Steve and Takoda join Emmett at the fishing shack after Gabby implies he's mad at them.'

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race (MTV, 8:00 PM) 'The queens take over the 8th and 9th hour of a morning show, testing their hosting skills with interviews and banter. Actress Teyana Taylor (One Battle After Another) guest judges.'

🔔 Outlander (Starz, 8:01 PM) 'With the Siege of Savannah raging outside the city walls, Brianna and Roger find themselves on opposite sides of the conflict; Jamie confronts his demons at Lodge Night.'

💰 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 

🎥 Don't Trust the Couple Upstairs (LMN, 8:00 PM) 
🦭 Super Animals (Nat Geo Wild, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Belle Collective (OWN, 8:00 PM) 

👮 On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (USA, 8:00 PM) 

The Truth and Tragedy of Moriah Wilson

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

👨🏻‍🚒 Fire Country (CBS, 9:00 PM) 'With the clock ticking and the fate of nine missing students on the line, firefighter Bode Leone and Deputy Nathan Boone must risk it all in order to save innocent lives.'

🕺🏾 Martha Graham Dance Company: We Are Out Time (PBS, 9:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 'Traveling across Europe, the dancers reflect on both the exhilaration and the physical and emotional toll of life on the road. As the first American dance company to tour China post-pandemic, their journey echoes Graham’s belief in movement as a universal language.'

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race: Untucked (MTV, 9:30 PM) 'The queens gather in the Untucked lounge for the final time and celebrate making it this far in the competition. But the mood is bittersweet, knowing that whatever happens tonight determines who goes to the Grand Finale.'

🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Mine Rescue with Freddy & Juan (Discovery Channel, 9:00 PM) 
🍽️ Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
👽 Unbelievable with Dan Aykroyd (History, 9:00 PM) 
👮 On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
🤮 Mama June: From Not to Hot (WE, 9:00 PM) 
💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:01 PM) 

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

👮🏻 Boston Blue (CBS, 10:00 PM) 'A drive-by shooting at the church pulls Lena and Danny into the complicated past of one of Reverend Peters' associates; Mae faces painful revelations about her family; the team manages internal friction.'

👽 The Proof is Out There (History, 10:03 PM) 'Did flying saucers trigger World War II's Battle of Los Angeles?'

🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 'Singer Niall Horan; actress Erin Moriarty.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Singer-songwriter Nick Jonas; comic John Early.'

🔔 The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 12:35 PM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM)

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE📺

Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM); The Andy Griffiths Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 12:30 PM); South Park (Comedy Central, 8:00 AM - 2:00 PM); Living Single (TV One, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Friends (TBS, 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): The Andy Griffiths Show (TVLand, 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 5:00 PM - 10:00 PM);  Three's Company (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TVLand, 7:00 PM - 11:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antennae, 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); Sanford & Son (Antenna, 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM); The Golden Girls (Hallmark, 10:00 PM - 2:00 AM); The King of Queens (TVLand, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antenna, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 11:00 PM) 'Actress Lynn Redgrave; actor Paul Reiser; writer David Horowitz.'

Five Nights at Freddy's 2

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Rotten Tomatoes; YouTube; TV Guide; TV Passport

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included