Thursday, March 26, 2026

What's On Tonight (Friday): The Martians Stink on Ice

      

For All Mankind

I have a strained relationship with the series that brings us today's Top Pick, the fifth season premiere of For All Mankind.  I loved the first season.  I loved a lot about the second season, in particular the final episode.  The third season lost me in the second half, and I haven't returned.  My main issue is the soap opera bullshit, which didn't bother me as much in the first couple seasons, but became almost intolerable beyond that.  The other big issue I had was the Mars space race just never rang true or realistic as the first two seasons' alternate history events did.  

A smaller quibble: I'm also not big on aging actors up with unrealistic make up rather than just recasting with older actors.

Still, the show is nothing if not ambitious, and I feel the need to support ambitious, big budget sci-fi whenever I get the chance (Did I see Project Hail Mary opening weekend?  Damn right, I did!).  I just wish there was an alternate history where Mankind didn't do any time jumps, dropped the soap opera crap and was still speculating about a what-could-have-been space race in the 60s-70s.  

Also, For All Mankind could easily be seen as a prequel to my beloved The Expanse, which earns it instant consideration even when it sucks.  

๐Ÿš€ For All Mankind (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON FIVE PREMIERE. 'Picks up in the years since the Goldilocks asteroid heist. Happy Valley has grown into a thriving colony with thousands of residents and a base for new missions that will take us even further into the solar system. But with the nations of Earth now demanding law and order on the Red Planet, friction continues to build between the people who live on Mars and their former home.'✔️

Elsewhere...  

 PREMIERES

Color Theories by Julio Torres

๐ŸŽฅ Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 'A hilarious, stylized, R-rated action-comedy about two gangsters and the woman they love trying to survive the most dangerous night of their lives.'✔️

๐ŸŽฅ The Mortuary Assistant (AMC+/Shudder, 3:01 AM) 'Follows a mortuary science graduate who takes a night job at River Fields Mortuary. What begins as a routine job soon turns sinister as she faces terrifying supernatural forces.'✔️

Homecoming: The Tokyo Series (CNN App, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'Journeys into Japan to explore how America’s national pastime became a profound cultural tradition shaped by ritual, discipline and devotion, set against the backdrop of Major League Baseball’s season-opening Tokyo Series, where some of the most famous players in the world, like Shohei Ohtani, assemble on their home turf to play the game that has transformed into a way of life there.'

๐Ÿ”” Privileges (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Young inmate Adรจle desperately accepts a bellhop position at the palatial Citadel as part of a day-release program run by the hotel's all-powerful director, ร‰douard. But shortly after arriving for her first shift, Adรจle is thrust into a not-so-secret power struggle where ambitious staff, influential guests, and outside networks all fight for control - turning the hotel into a breeding ground of manipulation and betrayal.'✔️

๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ Hate the Player: The Ben Johnson Story (Paramount, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. ' An adaptation of Canadian sprinter Johnson's definitely-not-biased account of the doping controversy that rocked the 1988 Olympics when he tested positive for banned steroid use, going from hero to zero in 9.79 seconds in what some called "The Dirtiest Race in History". The series takes a revealing and satirical look at the events surrounding the legendary race and the scandal behind the scandal.'✔️

๐ŸŽฅ 53 Sundays (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'When three siblings agree to meet and discuss their aging father's future, their reunion spirals into bickering, bantering and reliving old grudges.'

๐ŸŽฅ BTS: The Return (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Chronicles the long-awaited return of pop royalty, BTS.'✔️
 
๐ŸŽฅ` Love at Last (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Aslฤฑ is determined not to spend Valentine’s Day alone, but the universe has other plans. An unexpected mix-up upends her plans and sends her on an unexpected journey.'

๐Ÿ’ˆ The Predator of Seville (Netflix, 3:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES. 'A sexual assault by a Spanish tour guide sparks a surge of similar claims from multiple US students. This documentary follows their fight for justice.'

๐ŸŽฅ Bambi the Reckoning (Peacock, 3:01 AM) 'After a mother and son get in a car wreck, they soon become hunted by Bambi, a mutated grief-stricken deer on a deadly rampage seeking revenge for the death of his mother.'

๐ŸŽฅ` Rockabye (Tubi, 3:01 AM) 'Suspecting her father didn't take his own life, a grieving woman's hunt for the truth turns treacherous when his friends start dying one-by-one.'

๐Ÿ”” Color Theories by Julio Torres (HBO, 8:00 PM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'Julio Torres presents a helpful way to understand the world through his playful interpretation of color.'✔️

๐ŸŽฅ The Little Boy Who Went Missing (LMN, 8:00 PM) 'A woman's sun-soaked vacation takes a sinister turn when she meets a picture-perfect couple whose son bears a striking resemblance to a young boy who disappeared two years earlier.'

๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿพ Martha Graham Dance Company: We Are Out Time (PBS, 9:00 PM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'As the Graham Company nears its landmark 100th anniversary, WE ARE OUR TIME offers a rare behind-the-scenes portrait of the company, exploring Graham's legacy through the dancers who embody her work today.'

Hate the Player: The Ben Johnson Story

RETURNING SHOWS

Martin Scorsese Presents: The Saints (Fox Nation, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

๐Ÿ  Parisian Properties: Exclusive Listings (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON SIX.

๐Ÿฆญ Super Animals (Nat Geo Wild, 8:00 PM) SEASON THREE SPRING PREMIERE.

STREAMING

๐Ÿ”” The Last Thing He Told Me (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Prosecutor" 

๐Ÿ‘น Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Furusato" 

⚖️ Judy Justice (Amazon, 3:01 AM) "Slammed and Sabotaged" 

๐Ÿ”” Jury Duty Presents: Company Retreat (Amazon, 3:01 AM) "Accountability / Offsite" 

⚖️ Tribunal Justice (Amazon, 3:01 AM) "Misdialed and Messed Up Manual Labor" 

๐Ÿง‘‍๐ŸŒพ This Farming Life (Britbox, 3:01 AM) 

๐Ÿ”” Banksters (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE

๐Ÿ”” Mira: Life After Divorce (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

๐Ÿ„ Portobello (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE

๐Ÿ”ฅ Women's Hell (HBO Max, 3:01 AM)  

๐Ÿ”” Still Shining (Netflix, 3:01 AM) "Episode 7 / Episode 8" 

๐Ÿ”” Dreaming Whilst Black (Paramount, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE

๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿป Cops (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM) 

Privileges

๐Ÿ€2026 NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT - SWEET SIXTEEN๐Ÿ€

๐Ÿ€St. John's Red Storm vs Duke Blue Devils (CBS, 7:00 PM); ๐Ÿ€Alabama Crimson Tide vs Michigan Wolverines (TBS / TruTV, 7:30 PM); ๐Ÿ€Michigan State Spartans vs Connecticut Huskies (CBS, 9:30 PM); ๐Ÿ€Tennessee Volunteers vs Iowa State Cyclones (TBS / TruTV, 10:00 PM)

๐Ÿ€2026 NCAA WOMEN'S BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT - SWEET SIXTEEN๐Ÿ€

๐Ÿ€Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs Vanderbilt Commodores (ESPN, 2:30 PM); ๐Ÿ€North Carolina Tar Heels vs Connecticut Huskies (ESPN, 4:00 PM); ๐Ÿ€Minnesota Golden Gophers vs UCLA Bruins (ESPN, 7:30 PM); ๐Ÿ€Duke Blue Devils vs LSU Lady Tigers (ESPN, 10:00 PM)

LIVE SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

๐ŸŒ๐Ÿป Korn Ferry Tour Golf: 2026 Club Car Championship - Round 2 (Golf, 11:00 AM)

⛸️ World Figure Skating Championships: Men's Short; Women's Short / Women's Free (USA, 1:00 PM)

๐Ÿ’ College Hockey: NCAA Men's Hockey Championship - Regional Semifinals 4 (ESPNU, 2:30 PM)

๐ŸŒ๐Ÿป PGA Tour Golf: 2026 Texas Children's Houston Open - Round 2 (Golf, 3:00 PM)

๐Ÿ’ College Hockey: NCAA Men's Hockey Championship - Regional Semifinals 4 (ESPNU, 5:30 PM)

๐ŸฅŽ College Softball: Florida Gators at Arkansas Razorbacks (ESPN2, 7:00 PM)

๐ŸŒ๐Ÿป LPGA Tour Golf: 2026 Ford Championship - Round 2 (Golf, 7:00 PM)

College Baseball: Tennessee Volunteers at Vanderbilt Commodores (ESPNU, 8:00 PM)

๐Ÿˆ UFL Football: Birmingham Stallions at Louisville Kings (Fox, 8:00 PM)

๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป Pro Cheer League: Live Pro Cheer League Match from Nashville (Ion, 8:00 PM)

MLB Baseball: Los Angeles Dodgers at Houston Astros (Apple, 8:15 PM)

๐Ÿ’ College Hockey: 2026 NCAA Men's Hockey Championship (ESPN2, 9:00 PM)

MLB Baseball: Cleveland Guardians at Seattle Mariners (Apple, 9:45 PM)

NWSL Soccer: Angel City FC vs Houston Dash (Amazon, 10:00 PM)

The Mortuary Assistant

๐Ÿ•–8:00 EASTERN / ๐Ÿ•– 7:00 CENTRAL

๐Ÿบ Happy's Place (NBC, 8:00 PM) 'After Bobbie notices how much Isabella misses school, she signs them both up for an online course unaware of how serious Isabella would take it; Gabby wears Isabella's old Stanford sweatshirt, tricking customers into believing she went there.'

๐Ÿ”” RuPaul's Drag Race (MTV, 8:00 PM) 'The queens face off with RuPaul in a chaotic improv challenge inspired by viral "Karen" meltdowns. Actress Julianne Nicholson (Paradise; Hacks) guest judges.'

๐Ÿ”” Outlander (Starz, 8:01 PM) 'The Frasers and the MacKenzies prepare for battle; the Murrays are met with an impossible choice for their young family.'

๐Ÿ’ฒCelebrity Jeopardy! (ABC, 8:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ’ฐ Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ”” Color Theories by Julio Torres (HBO, 8:00 PM) ✔️
๐ŸŽฅ The Little Boy Who Went Missing (LMN, 8:00 PM) 
๐Ÿฆญ Super Animals (Nat Geo Wild, 8:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ”” Belle Collective (OWN, 8:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ‘ฎ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 
๐Ÿคผ‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (USA, 8:00 PM) 

๐Ÿ•— 9:00 EASTERN / ๐Ÿ•– 8:00 CENTRAL

๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿพ Martha Graham Dance Company: We Are Out Time (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'Following the Graham dancers from rehearsal to premiere as they carry Martha Graham's legacy forward with a new work.'

๐Ÿ”” RuPaul's Drag Race: Untucked (MTV, 9:30 PM) 'A somber mood permeates the lounge as the queens process a variety of emotions. One queen is left reeling after the judges' critiques.'

๐Ÿ”” 20/20 (ABC, 9:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ’ฐ Gold Rush: Mine Rescue with Freddy & Juan (Discovery Channel, 9:00 PM) 
๐Ÿฝ️ Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ  My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ‘ฎ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
๐Ÿคฎ Mama June: From Not to Hot (WE, 9:00 PM) 
๐Ÿ’€ Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:01 PM) 

BTS: The Return

๐Ÿ•— 10:00 EASTERN / ๐Ÿ•– 9:00 CENTRAL

๐Ÿ”” Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

๐Ÿ”” The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Actor Ryan Gosling; actress Jessie Buckley; the cast of "One Piece"; IDK; Black Thought and Kaytranada perform.'

๐Ÿ”” The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 12:35 PM) 'Animators Trey Parker and Matt Stone; songwriter Robert Lopez; Andrew Rannells taks and performs with the Broadway cast of "The Book Of Mormon."'

๐Ÿ”” Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Actor Tony Shalhoub; actress Jenny Slate; chef Michael Vignola.'

๐Ÿ”” Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 
๐Ÿ”” Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM)

๐Ÿ“บBroadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE๐Ÿ“บ

Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM)The Andy Griffiths Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 12:30 PM); South Park (Comedy Central, 8:00 AM - 2:00 PM); Living Single (TV One, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Friends (TBS, 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): The Andy Griffiths Show (TVLand, 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 5:00 PM - 10:00 PM);  Three's Company (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TVLand, 7:00 PM - 11:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antennae, 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); Sanford & Son (Antenna, 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM); The Golden Girls (Hallmark, 10:00 PM - 2:00 AM); The King of Queens (TVLand, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antenna, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM)

๐Ÿ“บ Johnny Carson (Antenna, 11:00 PM) 'Filmmaker Orson Welles; actor Orson Bean; actress Carol Lawrence; actress Kay Lenz.'

Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Rotten Tomatoes; YouTube; TV Guide; TV Passport

⭐: Top Pick
๐Ÿ’ฒ: Game show
๐ŸŽฅ: Movie
๐Ÿ“บ: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included 


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