What's On Tonight (Friday): Uno Vampiro Pinochet! Ah, Ah, Ah!

             

El Conde (The Count)

I'm a sucker for dark horror comedies that use the old rules of vampire mythology in a more modern setting.  That's a big reason why What We Do in the Shadows works so well.  Today we've got a new film from director Pablo Larraín (Spencer) that takes the inherent comedy of old school vampires in a modern setting and takes them in a more political direction by making the vampire in question notorious Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet.  Reviews aren't too shabby (83% fresh, same as Spencer), and the trailer looks great what with the (seemingly) old-fashioned practical effects and the black and white cinematography.  

TOP PICK

⭐🎥 El Conde (The Count) (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'After living for over two centuries, Augusto Pinochet is a vampire who has decided to stop drinking blood and abandon the privilege of eternal life.  Despite the disappointing and opportunistic nature of his family, he finds new inspiration to continue living a life of vital and counterrevolutionary passion through an unexpected relationship.'

Elsewhere...

*We have two series that revolve around "influencers" premiering today, one from South Africa (Miseducation) and one from Mexico (P#t@s Redes Sociales).  The latter looks like it could be fun, but I think I'm just too old to give a shit about "influencers."  

*Michael Pena is an actor whose work I always enjoy.  Most people know him from his comic roles, but the guy is a solid dramatic actor as well.  He gets a chance to take the lead in this week's A Million Miles Away, which was inspired by a true story of NASA flight engineer José Hernández.  Reviews are solid (87% fresh) and the film co-stars Rosa Salazar.  Might not be a bad way to spend an evening.

*Shudder has a new film called The Elevator Game, the subject of which was also featured on a season two episode of Evil.  I'm always curious how these stupid urban myths get started.  Was there a story or a rumor that someone then applied concrete rules to (go to this floor and do that, go to that floor and do this), or did someone just make this shit up whole cloth?  

*Fast X is making its streaming premiere on Peacock.   I wouldn't expect a whole lot of new subscribers for this one as the general consensus is that it sucked.  I won't be checking it out.  To this day Hobbes and Shaw is the only Fast-related film I have watched, and I that's as far as I'm willing to dip my toe in this particular pool.

PREMIERES

A Million Miles Away

🎥 A Million Miles Away (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 'Inspired by the real-life story of NASA flight engineer José Hernández, A Million Miles Away follows him on a decades-long journey, from a rural village in Michoacán, Mexico, to more than 200 miles above the Earth in the International Space Station. With the support of his family, José’s drive & determination culminates in the opportunity to achieve his seemingly impossible goal.'

🔔 P#t@s Redes Sociales (Social Network Whores) (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Tells the story of Amanda, a decadent YouTuber of children's content who has just turned 30, which makes her an "old woman" on the internet who will do everything to stay relevant on social networks, from filtering a nude photo of her, even risking her life (or pretending to risk it). She does all this to dethrone the number one influencer of the moment: Vicky Moo, who also happens to be her younger sister.'

🔔 Wilderness (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Liv's "happily-ever-after" quickly turns into a living nightmare on discovering her husband Will is having an affair. Liv becomes the actress starring in Will's bad dreams after she learns about his betrayal, and her heartbreak is swiftly followed by another emotion: fury. The couple embark on an American road trip Liv's fantasized about since she was little, from the Grand Canyon on through Yosemite, before ending up with a hedonistic weekend in Las Vegas. For Will, it's a chance to make amends; for Liv, it's a very different prospect - a landscape where accidents happen all the time.'

🚀 Master & Apprentice: A Special Look at Ahsoka (Disney+, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'In this new special, dive into the new Star Wars master-apprentice legacy with the cast and filmmakers of Ahsoka.'

🔔 Lang Lang Plays Disney (Disney+, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'In this exclusive one night only concert at Royal Albert Hall, Lang Lang Plays Disney is an unrivaled musical and visual treat that showcases unique arrangements of Disney's most popular songs and gives insight into the life of world-renowned pianist Lang Lang.'

🔔 Miseducation (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'After a public humiliation, a wannabe influencer enrolls in a small-town university, where she aspires to regain her social status.'

🎥 Love at First Sight (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Two strangers connect on a flight to London, only to be separated by a twist of fate.  A reunion seems improbable - but love has a way of defying the odds.  Starring Haley Lu Richardson and Ben Hardy.'

🎥 Faxt X (Peacock, 3:01 AM) STREAMING PREMIERE. 'Over many missions and against impossible odds, Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his family have outsmarted, out nerved and out driven every foe in their path. Now, they confront the most lethal opponent they've ever faced: A terrifying threat emerging from the shadows of the past who's fueled by blood revenge, and who is determined to shatter this family and destroy everything--and everyone--that Dom loves, forever.'

🎥 Elevator Game (Shudder, 3:01 AM) 'Follows socially awkward teenager Ryan, who ingratiates himself into a group of recent high school graduates that run an online web series debunking urban legends. But Ryan has a secret: his sister disappeared months earlier, and he believes they -- and a dangerous online challenge called 'The Elevator Game' -- were responsible. In an attempt to gain more information as to the whereabouts of his sister, Ryan persuades the group to play the game once more, and risk unleashing the most fearsome consequences imaginable.'

🎥 Deadly Midwife (Tubi, 3:01 AM) 'Lauren and Anthony hire a new midwife after their last one mysteriously disappears, but things may not be as they appear.'

🎵 The Latin Music Revolution: A Soul of a Nation Presentation (ABC, 8:00 PM) 'Exploring the popularity, roots and evolution of Latin music and the young stars taking the industry by storm.'

The Elevator Game

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 The Club (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔔 Inside the World's Toughest Prisons (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON SEVEN.

🔔 Surviving Summer (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🎥 The Last Drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs (Shudder & AMC, 9:00 PM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION.

💖 Love After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) SEASON FIVE PREMIERE.

STREAMING

🔔 Harlan Coben's Shelter (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🧙‍♀️The Wheel of Time (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 The Changeling (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Wise Ones" 

🚀 Foundation (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. "Creation Myths" 

⚖ Tribunal Justice (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Aakhri Sach (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Design Defined (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🍴 Markkim + Chef (Max, 3:01 AM) 

Fast X

LIVE SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

🏎 NASCAR Xfinity Racing Series: Food City 300, Qualifying (USA, 2:30 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Champions Golf: Sanford International, First Round (Golf, 4:00 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: Fortinet Championship, Second Round (Golf, 4:00 PM)

🏎 NASCAR Cup Series: Bass Pro Shops Night Race, Qualifying (USA, 4:30 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Tampa Bay Rays at Baltimore Orioles (Apple, 7:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: Army at Texas-San Antonio (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🏎 NASCAR Xfinity Racing Series: Food City 300 (USA, 2:30 PM)

🏀 WNBA Basketball: Playoffs: Washington Mystics at New York Liberty (ESPN2, 7:30 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Philadelphia Phillies at St. Louis Cardinals (Apple, 8:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: Utah State at Air Force (CBSSN, 8:00 PM)

🏈 High School Football: Mccallie (TN) at Brentwood Academy (TN) (ESPNU, 8:00 PM)

🏀 WNBA Basketball: Playoffs: Atlanta Dream at Dallas Wings (ESPN2, 9:30 PM)

🥊 Boxing: Rafael Pedroza vs. Ramon Cardenas (Showtime, 9:30 PM)

🥊 Boxing: Top Rank Boxing: Gonzalez vs. Lopez (ESPN, 10:00 PM)

Love at First Sight

🕗 EARLY PRIMETIME 🕖

🏠 The Loud House (Nickelodeon, 5:00 PM) 'When Vanzilla seems too broken down to ever drive again, Lana, Dad and Gramps band together to fix her; Lynn and friends enjoy free perks around Royal Woods when their team gets sponsored by local businesses.'

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔨 Secret Celebrity Renovation (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'Actress Niecy Nash surprises her lifelong friend Wendy with a complete renovation to the Amazing Grace Conservatory in Los Angeles, the performing arts conservatory for emerging artists and at-risk youth that Wendy founded over 25 years prior.'

🔔 Power Book IV: Force (Starz, 8:00 PM) 'Tommy and Diamond expand their business to prisons, the Feds put together a task force to take down CBI, and Jenard struggles to maintain control; Tommy faces off with Walter and gets closer to avenging Liliana's death.'

🎵 The Latin Music Revolution: A Soul of a Nation Presentation (ABC, 8:00 PM) 

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Freddy Dodge's Mine Rescue (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🚗 Engine Masters (Motortrend, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🎭 American Masters (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'The political and personal journey of California Gov. Jerry Brown, the longest serving governor in California history, and his work on issues including climate change and inequality.'

🍴 Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) "Champion Chefs"

💀 Witness to Murder: Digital Evidence (A&E, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) 
🔨 Beachfront Bargain Hunt Renovation (Magnolia, 9:00 PM) 
🚗 Hot Rod Garage (Motortrend, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Time of Essence (OWN, 9:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 
💀 The Real Murders of Atlanta (Oxygen, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
🎥 The Last Drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs (Shudder & AMC, 9:00 PM) 
💖 Love After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Parker Tells All (Discovery, 9:01 PM) 

Wilderness

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🤼‍♂️ Heels (Starz, 10:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 'The cross-promotion event is here! Everything culminates with Harmageddon: DWL versus Dystopia.'

💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM)
💀 Witness to Murder: Digital Evidence (A&E, 10:01 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 'Actor Kumail Nanjiani; P!nk performs.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Actress Ana Gasteyer; journalist Bomani Jones; comic Sam Morrison; Danny Carey sits in with the 8G Band.'

💰 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery, 11:02 PM) 
🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM)
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE📺

The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Quantum Leap (Syfy, 6:00 AM - 10:00 AM); Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM); Futurama (Comedy Central, 7:00 AM - 9:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 7:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Parks and Recreation (Comedy Central, 9:00 AM - 2:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 PM - 6:00 PM) - The Andy Griffith Show (TVLand, 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 12:30 AM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TVLand, 7:00 PM - 11:05 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -9:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antennae, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); King of Queens (TVLand, 11:05 PM - 2:00 AM); Designing Women (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antennae, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Benson (Antenna, 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM); Mom (TVLand,3:10 AM - 4:50 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Actor Burt Reynolds; actor Dom DeLuise; actor Art Carney; Ace Trucking Company.'

P#t@s Redes Sociales

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included