What's On Tonight (Friday): Alice Doesn't Have Flowers Anymore...

       

The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart

Not a lot premiering today, and what is premiering isn't all that interesting.  I'm giving Top Pick to Amazon's The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart mainly because Sigourney Weaver is in the cast.  I'm also happy is also in the ensemble.  I've never seen her in anything outside of The Expanse (FUCK YEAH, THE EXPANSE) so I'm happy to know she's getting work.  She probably won't get any kick ass action scenes taking out alien monsters or storming enemy bases in her mech armor, but then again, Sigourney is in the cast so maybe I should be more hopeful.

TOP PICK

⭐🔔 The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart (Amazon, 12:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES. 'When Alice, aged 9, tragically loses her parents in a mysterious fire, she is taken to live with her grandmother June at Thornfield flower farm, where she learns that there are secrets within secrets about her and her family's past. Set against Australia's breathtaking natural landscape, and with native wildflowers and plants providing a way to express the inexpressible, this enthralling family drama spans decades.'

Elsewhere...

*This is honestly the worst Friday for premieres in a while.  Of the non-Top Picks, we have the Own Wilson-led Paint.  Having now watched the trailer, I now know this film isn't necessarily a comic descent into madness for a Bob Ross doppelganger that more than likely ends in carnage and death.  Now I'm not sure what this movie is about.  I can wait until Loki season two to get my Owen Wilson fix.

*The only other thing premiering today that I might be able to recommend is The Big Nailed It Baking Challenge, which essentially looks like the Nailed It edition of The Great British Baking Show.  Nicole Byer is always fun, but I've never been big on reality TV, even when it's making fun of reality TV.  

*A&E is premiering two new series tonight: Witness to Murder: Digital Evidence and Women on Death Row.  This sounds like the king of programming my mother-in-law could get behind as she is a big watched of true crime (her TV is tuned to the ID network more often than not).  I know TLC is the poster child for cable networks that have completely forsaken their original mission statements, but A&E certainly has to be up there as well.  Honestly, TCM is probably the only cable network still doing what it originally set out to do.  Now TCM is owned by Warners and they've already tried to gut it.  We can't have nice things.

PREMIERES

Paint

🎥 Paint (AMC+, 3:01 AM) STREAMING PREMIERE. 'Carl Nargle, Vermont's #1 public television painter, is convinced he has it all: a signature perm, custom van, and fans hanging on his every stroke... until a younger, better artist steals everything (and everyone) Carl loves.'

🍰 The Big Nailed It Baking Challenge (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'In this high-stakes "Nailed It!" spinoff competition, 10 terrible bakers pick up tips from professional coaches while vying for a sweet cash prize.'

🔔 The Hunt for Veerappan (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'This docuseries follows the rise and fall of Veerappan, a dreaded smuggler whose bloody reign sparked a 20-year-long manhunt in south India.'

🔔 The Marriage Pact (Roku, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Follows single friends who must fulfill or break a promise from the past: a pact to marry if both are still single by a certain age. Viewers will follow the five participating couples, as their relationships are put to the test, to discover whether they are truly meant to say, "I do."'

💀 Witness to Murder: Digital Evidence (A&E, 9:00 PM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Reveals how technology has become the new frontier in solving homicides, illustrating the surprising ways that cell phone data, smart watches, fitness trackers, GPS devices, geolocation coordinates, doorbell and traffic cameras, gaming devices, surveillance video, internet searches, apps, and social media messages can be the critical clues in murder investigations.'

💀 Women on Death Row (A&E, 10:01 PM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Tells the stories of America’s most rarefied criminals: women who have been convicted of murder and sentenced to the ultimate punishment—the death penalty. Each episode profiles a harrowing crime and trial through exclusive interviews with the convicted women, witnesses, family members of victims, family members of the convicted women, attorneys, and law enforcement officials.'

RETURNING SHOWS

🦉 Eva the Owlet (Apple, 12:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION.

🎵 Lollapalooza: Livestream (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Fatal Seduction (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔨 Secret Celebrity Renovation (CBS, 8:00 PM) SEASON THREE PREMIERE.

💀 The Real Murders of Atlanta (Oxygen, 9:00 PM) SEASON TWO PRE
MIERE.

🚗 Runs Good (Motortrend, 10:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

Fatal Seduction

STREAMING

🔔 The Summer I Turned Pretty (Amazon, 12:01 AM) "Love Fest"

🚀 Foundation (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Where the Stars are Scattered Thinly"

🔔 Swagger (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Homecoming"

⚖ Tribunal Justice (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

💖 Love Island (UK) (Hulu, 3:01 AM) 

👮‍♂️ Crime Cam 24/7 (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM) 

💖 Love Island (Peacock, 9:00 PM) 

LIVE SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: Wyndham Championship, Second Round (Golf, 2:00 PM)

🥒 Pickleball: PPA Tour: Takeya Showcase (CBSSN, 3:00 PM)

🏓 Major League Table Tennis (ESPN2, 5:00 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Korn Ferry Tour Golf: Utah Championship, Second Round (Golf, 6:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Tampa Bay Rays at Detroit Tigers (Apple, 6:30 PM)

🥎 Athletes Unlimited Softball: Team Zerkle (Blue) vs. Team Romero (Orange) (ESPNU, 6:30 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Houston Astros at New York Yankees (Apple, 7:00 PM)

🌽 Cornhole: ACL SuperHole IV Championship (ESPN2, 7:00 PM)

🥊 One Championship Special: One Fight Night 13 (Amazon, 8:00 PM) 

🏀 WNBA Basketball: New York Liberty at Minnesota Lynx (Ion, 8:00 PM)

🥊 Professional Fighters League: PFL Playoffs: Featherweights & Light Heavyweights (ESPN, 9:00 PM)

⚽ Fútbol Leagues Cup: Chicago Fire FC vs. América (UNIMAS, 9:00 PM)

🔔 Pillow Fight Championship (ESPN2, 10:00 PM)

The Hunt for Veerappan

🕗 MIDNIGHT EASTERN / 🕗 11:00 CENTRAL

🔔 My Adventures with Superman (Adult Swim, 12:00 AM) 'When Jimmy gets kidnapped, it's up to Lois and Clark to save him - but rescuing Jimmy will lead them into danger as they deal with mad scientists, military secrets, and relationship woes!'

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔨 Secret Celebrity Renovation (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'TV host Phil Keoghan returns to Antigua to surprise his former neighbor with a major renovation to the local hospice center; actor Max Thieriot surprises his childhood best friend with the home renovation of his dreams.'

⚖ Family Law (CW, 8:00 PM) 'The firm represents Phaedra, a recent widow, in an estate dispute; Phaedra's late husband's daughter wants her out of the will because they met while her mother was still alive and Phaedra was his escort.'

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Freddy Dodge's Mine Rescue (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Villains of Valley View (Disney Channel, 8:00 PM) 
🔨 Making Modern with Brooke and Brice (Magnolia, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 
👻 Pretty Freekin Scary (Disney Channel, 8:30 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Moonshine (CW, 9:00 PM) 'The Moonshine is hosting a pirate-themed wedding; Lidia's ex is back in town; Rhian has the best sex of her life; Ryan and Crystal take a hostage.'

🍴 Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'Guy Fieri's getting stuffed and sandwiched. In Los Angeles, a taco truck goes big with the birria, while in Bend, OR, it's Polish-palooza with lights-out pierogis. Then in Milford, Ohio, an elevated diner is spicing up their chicken sandwich.'

🔔 Minx (Starz, 9:01 PM) 'Six months later, Minx is front and center of the sexual revolution, and Rolling Stone descends on the Bottom Dollar offices to interview the gang.'

💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) 
💀 Witness to Murder: Digital Evidence (A&E, 9:00 PM) 
🎵 CMT Summer Sessions (CMT, 9:00 PM) 
👻 Pretty Freekin Scary (Disney Channel, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 100 Day Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 
👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) 
🚗 Super Street Garage (Motortrend, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Belle Collective (OWN, 9:00 PM) 
💀 The Real Murders of Atlanta (Oxygen, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
💖 Love During Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 AM) 
💰 Hoffman Family Gold (Discovery, 9:07 PM) 

The Marriage Pact

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Praise Petey (Freeform, 10:00 PM) 'Petey and Eliza scheme to bring an honest income to New Utopia by renting out barns as wedding venues for the Manhattan elite; when her ex, Brian, is their first client, Petey scrambles to make it the perfect night - and to make him jealous. / It's Petey's birthday, also known as Crowning Day to the inhabitants of New Utopia; Petey is disappointed to learn that the celebrations are more about White instead of her; Eliza and Bandit both have surprises for Petey.'

🤼‍♂️ Heels (Starz, 10:08 PM) 'Ace begins what he hopes will be his journey of spiritual awakening; back in Duffy, the collective elation from the South Georgia State Fair is fading fast; the financial vultures are circling after the DWL's success.'

🚗 Runs Good (Motortrend, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
💀 Women on Death Row (A&E, 10:01 PM) 
👽 The Proof is Out There (History, 10:03 PM) 
💰 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery, 10:08 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 How to with John Wilson (HBO, 11:00 PM) "How to Clean Your Ears"

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Actor Mark Wahlberg; actor Billy Porter; AJR performs.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Singer-songwriter Gwen Stefani; writer Grant Morrison; Raghav Mehrotra sits in with the 8G Band.'

🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM)
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE📺

The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 7:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Parks and Recreation (Comedy Central, 9:00 AM - 2:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 8:00 PM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 - 6:00 PM); The Andy Griffith Show (TVLand, 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TVLand, 7:00 PM - 11:05 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -9:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antennae, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); King of Queens (TVLand, 11:05 PM - 2:00 AM); Designing Women (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antennae, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Benson (Antenna, 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM); Mom (TVLand,3:10 AM - 4:50 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Actor Burt Reynolds; actress Susan Sarandon; author Andrew Tobias.'

The Big Nailed It Baking Challenge

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included