What's On Tonight (Friday): The Horror of Mulva Roach...

   

The Horror of Dolores Roach

There are a few things that pique my interest today.  Adult Swim has a new Superman series premiering at midnight for some reason (it looks totally kid-friendly enough to be on Cartoon Network).  Netflix has a new comedy about a groom-to-be discovering his future in-laws are bank robbers (it's called Out-laws - GET IT?).  But I'm going with Amazon's new contemporary spin on Sweeney Todd called The Horror of Dolores Roach.  It's based on an Off-Broadway one-woman show and podcast, Empanada Loca.  My assumption is this is a limited series, but Amazon is calling it season one, and who am I to question Amazon?

TOP PICK

⭐💀 The Horror of Dolores Roach✔️ (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A Sweeney Todd-inspired urban legend of love, betrayal, weed, cannibalism, and survival of the fittest. Dolores Roach is released after an unjust 16-year prison sentence, and she returns to a gentrified Washington Heights. Dolores reunites with an old stoner friend, Luis, who lets her live and work as a masseuse in the basement under his empanada shop. When the promise of her newfound stability is quickly threatened, Dolores is driven to shocking extremes to survive.'

Elsewhere...

*May main takeaway from watching the trailer for The Out-laws was I would enjoy a movie that just focuses on Pierce Brosnan and Richard Kind's characters.  Or, better yet, a movie that has Brosnan and Kind but has nothing to do with The Out-laws.  Or even better, a movie of Brosnan and Kind just driving around pissing each other off.

* Hulu has a new docu-series called The Ashley Madison Affair about the hacking of the website for people who want to cheat on their spouses.  The trailer really wants you to know how sexy this documentary is.  Like, cheat on your spouse sexy.  Like, if you were on a business trip, and you saw The Ashley Madison Affair at the bar, you would totally offer to buy it a drink.  If it asked if you were married, you'd totally be like, "HELL, NO!"  But there's no reason to lie to The Ashley Madison Affair, it knows what's up and it's totally down with it.

*AMC+ has a new film that was written and directed by Katie Holmes, who also appears in a supporting role.  The reviews aren't great (46% on Rotten Tomatoes).  Probably should have let Dawson direct.

*I haven't gotten around to watching this week's Secret Invasion or Strange New Worlds.  I did start binging the second season of Evil on Paramount+.  It's a weird show.  It goes back and forth between treating its stories totally seriously and acting like the whole thing's a goof.  Also, some episodes just seem to end without an actual resolution or explanation (Did that one lady really turn into salt?  Why did that elevator go to a basement no one knew about?).  Still, the cast is great, and the show manages to nail a nicely creepy atmosphere.  At its best it comes across like a Catholic X-Files (back when X-Files was good).

PREMIERES

My Adventures with Superman

🔔 My Adventures with Superman✔️(Adult Swim, 12:00 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'A serialized coming-of-age story catching up with twenty-somethings Clark Kent, the bright and driven Lois Lane, and their best friend Jimmy Olsen as they begin to discover who they are and everything they can accomplish together as an investigative reporting team at the Daily Planet. The story follows Clark as he builds his secret identity as Superman and explores his own mysterious origins. Lois, on her way to becoming a star reporter, teams up with photographer Jimmy Olsen to break the stories that matter.'

🔔 The Ashley Madison Affair✔️(Hulu, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Chronicles the rise, fall, and improbable resurgence of Ashley Madison, the dating website aimed at marriage cheats. Pioneers in outrageous viral advertising, the company stops at nothing to gain publicity and by 2015 it appears to be on the brink of world domination. Then a team of hackers expose the intimate sexual secrets of millions of members, with devastating consequences. But in the aftermath of the data breach, are the site's adulterous users the only ones with dirty secrets?'

🎥 Rare Objects✔️(AMC+, 3:01 AM) 'An adaptation of Kathleen Tessaro's novel of the same name, Rare Objects is a story about friendship that centers around a young woman who reclaims her own sense of self through her journey of self-discovery that involves a new job, new friends and healing.  Written and directed by Katie Holmes.'

🔔 Wanted: Millionaire (Max, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'A documentary miniseries that reconstructs a real case from a decade ago in Spain about a lottery ticket worth nearly five million Euros that to this day still has no owner despite it being claimed by hundreds of people.'

🔔 Fatal Seduction (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A married professor is pulled into a passionate affair with a younger man that uncovers a path of tragedy and betrayal from those closest to her.'

🏠 Hack My Home (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A team of four design wizards dreams up space-maximizing solutions and ingenious engineering ideas to transform families' homes in inventive ways.'

🎥 The Out-laws✔️(Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Owen Browning is a straight-laced bank manager about to marry the love of his life, Parker. When his bank is held up by the infamous Ghost Bandits during his wedding week, he believes his future in-laws, who just arrived in town, are the infamous Out-Laws.  Starring Adam DeVine, Pierce Brosnan, Ellen Barkin and Nina Doprev.'

🎥 Seasons (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'After a string of failed relationships, two best friends make a deal to take risks and look for love again — but they might just find it in each other.'

💰 The Next Black Millionaires (Roku, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'One dream. Three entrepreneurs. Who has what it takes to rise to the next level?'

👮‍♂️ Crime Cam 24/7 (Fox Nation, 3:01 AM) 'Spotlights surveillance footage caught around the country, reveals the inside story of the most dramatic crime scenes, and shows how cameras can help catch criminals and put them behind bars.'

🔔 Moonshine (CW, 9:00 PM) BROADCAST PREMIERE. 'A raucous one-hour dramedy that tells the story of the Finley-Cullens, a dysfunctional family of adult half-siblings battling to take control over the family business.'

The Out-Laws

RETURNING SHOWS

🦆 Duck & Goose (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔔 Big Nate ({Paramount+, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

⚖ Family Law✔️(CW, 8:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) SEASON EIGHT PREMIERE.

STREAMING

🔔 Deadloch (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. 

🔔 Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 The Crowded Room (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Crowded Room" 

🔔 Swagger (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Rise + Fall" 

⚖ Tribunal Justice (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🏠 Cabin Chronicles (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

💖 Love Island (UK) (Hulu, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Who's Talking to Chris Wallace (Max, 3:01 AM) 

💖 Love Allways (Paramount, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars (Paramount, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Untucked (Paramount, 3:01 AM) 

Hack My Home

LIVE SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

🚴‍♀️ 2023 Tour de France (USA, 8:00 AM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: John Deere Classic, Second Round (Golf, 4:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Summer League Basketball: Denver Nuggets vs. Milwaukee Bucks (ESPNU, 5:00 PM)

🏌️‍♀️ 2023 U.S. Women's Open Golf Championship (USA, 6:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Atlanta Braves at Tampa Bay Rays (Apple, 6:30 PM)

🏀 NBA Summer League Basketball: Portland Trail Blazers vs. Houston Rockets (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🥊 One Championship Special: One Fight Night 12 (Amazon, 8:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Baltimore Orioles at Minnesota Twins (Apple, 8:00 PM)

🌽 Cornhole: SuperHole IV Prelim 7 (ESPN2, 8:00 PM)

🏀 WNBA Basketball: Las Vegas Aces at Dallas Wings (Ion, 8:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Summer League Basketball: Charlotte Hornets vs. San Antonio Spurs (ESPN, 9:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Summer League Basketball: Golden State Warriors vs. Los Angeles Lakers (ESPN, 11:00 PM)

The Ashley Madison Affair

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔨 Tough as Nails (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'In the individual challenge, crew members are tasked with designing and welding a structure that can withstand the crushing force of 1 ton of weight.'

⚖ Family Law✔️ (CW, 8:00 PM) 'Still reeling from the discovery of Frank's continued affair, Abby sets out to get justice for a debt-ridden widow whose husband may have faked his own death.'

🔔 Outlander (Starz, 8:01 PM) 'On the way to Scotland, Jamie is pulled back into the Revolutionary War; William is sent on a covert mission; Roger and Brianna struggle to adapt to life in the 1980s.'

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Villains of Valley View (Disney Channel, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 8:00 PM) 
🦈 When Sharks Attack 360 (NGC, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 
👻 Pretty Freekin Scary (Disney Channel, 8:30 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Moonshine (CW, 9:00 PM) 'Lidia returns home from New York for her aunt's funeral when a surprise inheritance ignites a family feud with her rival sister.'

🍴 Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'A Los Angeles spot dishes out El Salvadorian with a twist, while an Oregon food cart serves up authentic Indian.'

🔔 Run the World (Starz, 9:00 PM) 'Whitney unexpectedly gets set up with Phillip Houston. Renee knows she has to cut Preston loose since her revelation that she's still in love with Jason; Sondi meets a handsome documentary filmmaker, right before a run-in with Matthew.'

💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Hoffman Family Gold (Discovery Channel, 9:00 PM) 
👻 Pretty Freekin Scary (Disney Channel, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 100 Day Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 9:00 PM) 
🦈 When Sharks Attack... and Why (NGC, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Belle Collective (OWN, 9:00 PM) 
💀 The Real Murders of Orange County (Oxygen, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
🎥 Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs (Shudder, 9:00 PM) 
🤮 Mama June: From Not to Hot (WE, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 AM) 

Rare Objects

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🦈 When Sharks Attack (NGC, 9:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Freddy Dodge's Mine Rescue (Discovery, 10:01 PM) 
👽 The Proof is Out There (History, 10:03 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🎨 Painting with John (HBO, 11:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 'John shares his appreciation for his long-time assistant and friend Nesrin and his epic collection of luminary toast.'

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Actor Joel McHale; actress Zoey Deutch; Saucy Santana performs.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Actor Chris Pratt; comic Ali Wong; The Hold Steady performs; Brann Dailor sits in with the 8G Band.'

💰 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery Channel, 11:08 PM) 
🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) 
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE📺

The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:04 AM - 9:00 AM); Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 7:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Parks and Recreation (Comedy Central, 9:00 AM - 2:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 8:00 PM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 - 6:30 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:30 PM - 11:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -9:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antennae, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); King of Queens (TV Land, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Designing Women (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antennae, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Benson (Antenna, 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM); Mom (TV Land,3:10 AM - 4:50 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Dom DeLuise, comedian Rodney Dangerfield; actress Mariette Hartley; actor Orson Bean.'

Family Law

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included