What's On Tonight (Friday): Alice Doesn't Remember That She Doesn't Live Here Anymore...

   

#bringbackalice

I was a little torn this week as the obvious Top Pick choice for today is the fifth and final season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.  The fourth season got the honor so why wouldn't this one?  Well, to tell you the truth, I stopped watching after the first episode of the fourth season.  The show kind of lost me and I'm not sure why.  

Part of it is definitely that I find Midge's comedy act to be the weakest part of the show.  I enjoy all of the business stuff around her act and anything with Susie is gold, and the show on the whole is usually hilarious (particularly Midge's parents), but her act itself doesn't work for me.  Stand-up comedy is something I have never seen portrayed convincingly onscreen unless it's an actual comedian doing an actual show.  

I'm also experiencing that Orange is New Black effect where over time I find the lead character of a show to be far less interesting and entertaining than many of the other characters.  I still think it's a great performance, but it's tough to watch a show that is centered around a character you don't particularly like, especially when a big reason for why you got hooked in the first place was how much you liked all the characters.

So, I'm giving Top Pick to the Polish HBO Max mystery/suspense series, #bringbackalice.  There might be too much Euro trash in this thing for most people to stomach, and I know I'll spend most of the early episodes assuming they're all vampires, but it looks good and I'm a sucker (NPI) for a good amnesia story.  

Top Pick

⭐🔔 #bringbackalice (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'This Polish miniseries tells the story of Alice, a famous influencer who mysteriously disappears. A year later, she is found but unable to remember anything. Her reappearance ends up raising more questions than answers.'

Elsewhere...

*Apple has a new series starring Jamie Lannister and Alias from Alias.  Actually, it looks like it mostly stars the latter, who might have been cast because she looks like she can run really fucking fast.  Like Tom Cruise fast.

*The Last Kingdom, another series I've always meant to watch but have never started, comes a new spinoff film titled Seven Kings Must Die.  I have no idea how this is connected to the series, but I have to say that there are an awful lot of movies with the number seven in the title, and most of them are not sequels.

I watched this week's Mandalorian and I won't spoil the episode, but it was a nice return to form in many ways.  I'll never get over how the whole Darksaber storyline was botched, but I have learned from all my past Star Wars experiences to simply ignore the parts I don't like or don't make sense because I know there will be something good later.  Did you see the Ahsoka trailer?  That's the good later.

One theory I heard regarding why this season has been so off is that it's possible the entire season had been planned without Grogu and it was only changed at the last minute when it was decided to reunite them in Book of Boba Fett.  Which makes sense as there isn't a single storyline this season where Grogu does anything particularly necessary.  The second episode comes closest but even there what he does could have been accomplished in any other number of ways.  

And Picard is still Picard.  It continues to be a mishmash of occasional great scenes, fan service, and bad storytelling.  Still enjoying all of the TNG cast (Frakes in particular), Amanda Plummer, Jeri Ryan and the Titan crew, but this is still only my fourth favorite Star Trek series that Paramount has produced.  That's just a bummer.

PREMIERES

Greek Salad

🔔 Greek Salad (Amazon, 12:01 AM) Set in Athens, Greece, this series explores a range of contemporary issues and challenges that young people in Europe face today, such as sexual identity, as well as issues specific to Greece, such as the migrant and financial crises.'

🔔 Jane (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Jane Garcia is a 9-year-old budding environmentalist on a quest to save endangered animals. Using her powerful imagination, Jane takes her best friends David, and Greybeard the chimpanzee on epic adventures to help protect wild animals all around the world because, according to her idol Dr. Jane Goodall: “Only if we understand, will we care. Only if we care, will we help. Only if we help, can they be saved.”'

🔔 The Last Thing He Told Me (Apple, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'A woman must forge a relationship with her teenage stepdaughter in order to find her husband, who has mysteriously disappeared.  Starring Jennifer Garner and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.'

🎥 Phenomena (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Three middle-aged women who investigate paranormal events are put to the test when their leader Father Pilón disappears. Inspired by the real Hepta Group.'

🔔 Queenmaker (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'After a tragic accident, a powerful fixer uses her skills to transform a civil rights lawyer into the next mayor — and take down her former employer.'

🎥 Queens on the Run (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'When four women finally take the road trip they planned in high school, they have no idea of the things they'll bump into - sometimes literally.'

🎥 Weathering (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'After losing her baby and nearly her life during labor, a journalist unravels amid disturbing visions and chilling attacks as she grieves alone at home.'

🎥 Cocaine Bear (Peacock, 3:01 AM) 'Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner's plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild thriller finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500-pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow... and blood.'

🎥 Kids vs Aliens (Shudder, 3:01 AM) 'A house slumber party turns to terror when bloodthirsty aliens attack, forcing two warring siblings to band together to survive the night.'

🎥 Dead Hot (Tubi, 3:01 AM) 'After a ghost hunt gone wrong, students of witchcraft Vanessa Hudgens and GG Magree travel to Salem, Massachusetts to seek out proper mentorship from experts in witchcraft.  Starring Vanessa Hudgens.'

🎥 A Nurse to Die For (Lifetime, 8:00 PM) 'A man hires a live-in nurse to help care for his sick daughter. However, as she continues to suffer a series of setbacks, he starts to wonder if the nurse might actually be the one keeping her sick.'

🎵 Personality Crisis: One Night Only (Showtime, 8:00 PM) 'A portrait of musician David Johansen from Martin Scorsese and David Tedeschi; featuring a live performance at Café Carlyle in New York City, along with new and archival interviews.'

RETURNING SHOWS

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

🔔 The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon, 12:01 AM) FINAL SEASON PEMIERE.

🔔 Sago Mini Friends (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Earth Day Special"

🗡The Last Kingdom: Seven Kings Must Die (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION.

🔔 Rugrats (Paramount, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO, PART ONE.

🔔 Blindspotting (Starz, 9:05 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

💰 Gold Rush: White Water (Discovery Channel, 10:08 PM) SEASON SIX SPRING PREMIERE.

😂 Black Lady Sketch Show (HBO, 11:00 PM) SEASON FOUR PREMIERE.

STREAMING

⚡ The Power (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Extrapolations (Apple, 12:01 AM) "2068: The Going Away Party" 

⚖ Judy Justice (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

⚖ Jury Duty (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🚗 Engine Masters (Motortrend, 3:01 AM) 

💖 Love is Blind (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. 

🔔 Martha Gardens (Roku, 3:01 AM) 

👮‍♂️ Cops (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM) 

The Last Thing He Said to Me (and I'm assuming this is the last thing he said, so that mystery is solved)

SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: RBC Heritage, Second Round (Golf, 2:00 PM)

⚾ College Baseball: Miami at North Carolina (ESPNU, 6:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: San Francisco Giants at Detroit Tigers (Apple, 6:30 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Los Angeles Angels at Boston Red Sox (Apple, 7:00 PM)

🥊 Professional Fighters League: PFL 3: Welterweights & Lightweights (Opening Card) (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🏌️‍♀️ LPGA Tour Golf: LOTTE Championship, Third Round (Golf, 7:00 PM)    

🏀 NBA Basketball: Chicago Bulls at Miami Heat (TNT, 7:00 PM)

🥍 NLL Lacrosse: San Diego Seals at Colorado Mammoth (ESPNU, 9:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Basketball: Play-In Tournament: Oklahoma City Thunder at Minnesota Timberwolves (ESPN, 9:30 PM)

⚽ NWSL Soccer: Houston Dash at Portland Thorns FC (CBSSN, 10:30 PM)

Queenmaker (although based on this gif alone, this looks like a Korean remake of Mrs. Maisel)

EARLY PRIMETIME

🧽 The Patrick Star Show (Nickelodeon, 5:00 PM) 'Pearl makes a guest appearance on the show; Patrick and SpongeBob go back in time to watch Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy when they were new.'

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🦈 Shark Tank (ABC, 8:00 PM) 'A nutrient-rich energy bar; a gender-neutral clothing brand; a portable children's toy; a healthy Mexican snack company.'

👻 Secrets of Sulphur Springs (Disney Channel, 8:00 PM) 'In 1947, Harper and Griffin meet Ruby; Sarah is freaked out by the ghost.'

🔔 Grand Crew (NBC, 8:30 PM) 'Anthony receives an award from his alma mater; Sherm has an opportunity to meet a renowned businessman; Nicky helps Fay with a yard sale, but they lose something really important, and there's wine.'

🔔 Penn & Teller: Fool Us (CW, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 The Very Very Best of the 80s (AXS TV, 8:00 PM) 
🎥 A Nurse to Die For (Lifetime, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race (MTV, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 
🎵 Personality Crisis: One Night Only (Showtime, 8:00 PM) 
👻 Power Book 2: Ghost (Starz, 8:02 PM) 
🔔 Saturdays (Disney Channel, 8:30 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🎭 Great Performances (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'Visiting Scotland, Germany and France to investigate the connection between Robert Schumann's bipolar disorder and his creative genius.'

🔔 Saturdays (Disney Channel, 9:00 PM) 'Paris rallies everyone to throw a block party, and the girls go to the scariest house for a signature; they suddenly find themselves inside with the house's owner, Ms. Whitaker.'

🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'In Boise, Idaho, an empanada emporium and a stick-to-your-ribs spot are both serving up off-the-hook sandwiches; a funky joint in Savannah is putting out real deal wood-fired pizza and bagels.'

😂 Whose Line is it Anyway? (CW, 9:00 PM) 
💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Parker's Trail (Discovery Channel, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
👽 The Unexplained (History, 9:00 PM) 
💖 Put a Ring on It (OWN, 9:00 PM)
💀 The Real Murders of Atlanta (Oxygen, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
💖 Love After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 
🔔 Blindspotting (Starz, 9:05 PM) 
😂 The Great American Joke Off (CW, 9:30 PM) 

Cocaine Bear

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🎭 Next at the Kennedy Center (PBS, 10:00 PM) 'Ballet Hispanico explores the life and legacy of Evita Perón, following her journey from dancehall performer to becoming Argentina's first lady and her sudden death.' 

🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: White Water (Discovery Channel, 10:08 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Actress Lucy Liu; actor Damson Idris; Bizarrap and Shakira talk and perform.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Actor Adam Driver; actor Adam Brody; Urian Hackney sits in with the 8G Band.'

😂 Black Lady Sketch Show (HBO, 11:00 PM) 
🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher: Overtime (CNN, 11:30 PM) 
🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:50 PM)
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) 
🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:52 AM) 

Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE

The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM); Brooklyn 99 (Comedy Central, 7:00 AM - 2:00 PM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 7:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 1:00 AM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 - 6:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -9:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:05 PM); Barney Miller (Antennae, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); King of Queens (TV Land, 11:05 PM - 2:00 AM); Designing Women (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antennae, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Benson (Antenna, 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM); Mom (TV Land, 3:10 AM - 4:50 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Angie Dickinson; Henry Heimlich; Ethel Merman; Richie Barathy.'

Kids vs. Aliens

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included