Governor Lucy Van Pelt, Reporting For Duty and Other Thursday Headlines

 

Via Tenor.

Hateful redneck asshole is hateful redneck asshole with power. (Wonkette)

Oh, just pour a bowl of Reese's Pieces and be done with it! (Wonkette)

Via Giphy

I might not have liked the Has Fallen movies, but I understand the sentiment (A.V. Club)

Golden Globes be saggin'! (Deadline)

Via Tenor

Good looking people in an R-rated romantic comedy? Bah, it'll never work! (Deadline)

"Can't scare up a reason to exist" (Variety)

Via Giphy.

RIP Tatjana Patitz (People)

And Carole Cook (Deadline)

Courtesy YouTube.

Embezzlement and the heiress to the Carhartt workwear fortune (Mlive)

"Punting on an opportunity to do in-depth journalism comes at a cost." (Awful Announcing)

PET SET: Jughead

Courtesy The Dodo/YouTube