What's On Tonight (Friday): Stop Motion del Toro Pinocchio. That is all.

  

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

I have never watched any of the various films about Pinocchio.  Never saw the Disney one, or any of the others.  For whatever reason, I've just never sought any of them out.  That may change with the arrival of Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio on Netflix.  It's stop-motion and del Toro looks like he was able to let his freak flag fly, or at least as much as is appropriate for a "family movie."  We'll see if my record remains intact by the end of the weekend.

Elsewhere...

*Will Smith is back in a film where he plays an escaped slave trying to get back to his family.  I bet this one seemed like a better investment last year.

*Netflix's Dragon Age: Absolution is also about a former slave, but it's a white female elf.  I'm sure it will pack the same punch.

*Shudder and AMC+ have the latest entry in the "Christmas slasher horror" genre, Christmas Bloody Christmas.  This is not to be confused with the theatrically released Violent Night, which, of course, is of the "Die Hard Santa Claus" genre.  I'm more down with the latter genre.

I started watching Wednesday earlier this week, and thanks to an abnormal amount of down time due to hernia surgery, I fittingly finished the series by Wednesday.  I think it's the best thing Tim Burton has worked on in a very long time.  I also think it's one of the most shameless Harry Potter rip-offs I've ever seen, at least since Percy Jackson.  Thankfully, Wednesday is much better than anything Percy Jackson-related.  I had to read all of those books to my younger son.  I will never forgive.

TOP PICK

⭐🎥 Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio✔️ (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Oscar-winning filmmaker Guillermo del Toro reinvents the classic story of a wooden puppet brought to life in this stunning stop-motion musical tale.'

PREMIERES

Hawa

🎥 Hawa✔️(Amazon, 12:01 AM) 'Hawa is a young girl who lives alone with her soon-to-be-dead grandmother. When she learns that Michelle Obama is visiting Paris, Hawa has the crazy idea of being adopted by this personality, whom she admires more than anything...'

🎥 Emancipation✔️(Apple, 12:01 AM) 'Inspired by the gripping true story of a man who would do anything for his family - and for freedom.  When Peter, an enslaved man, risks his life to escape and return to his family, he embarks on a perilous journey of love and endurance.'

🍴 America's Test Kitchen: The Next Generation (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 'Home cooks from across the country will compete to see who has what it takes to join the coveted America's Test Kitchen team.'

🎥 Idina Menzel: Which Way to the Stage? (Disney+, 3:01 AM) 'Follows Menzel on a national tour over the course of 16 shows as she juggles the challenges of being a working mom with a grueling travel schedule, all while preparing finally to realize her dream: to headline a concert at Madison Square Garden.'

🎥 Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again✔️(Disney+, 3:01 AM) 'Nick Daley’s summer gig as night watchman at the museum is a challenging job for a high school student, but he is following in his father’s footsteps. Luckily, he is familiar with the museum’s ancient tablet that brings everything to life. When the maniacal ruler Kahmunrah escapes with plans to unlock the Egyptian underworld and free its Army of the Dead, it is up to Nick to stop the demented overlord.'

😺 Cat (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Living under an alias, a former police informant is summoned to infiltrate a major drug empire but uncovers a dangerous connection to his dark past.'

🐲 Dragon Age: Absolution✔️(Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'With great power at stake, a group of rebel mages and thieves goes head-to-head against a sinister force possessing a dangerous artifact.'

🎥 God's Crooked Lines (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A private detective who claims to be suffering from paranoia checks into a psychiatric hospital to investigate another patient's mysterious death.'

🎥 Hall Pass Nightmare (LMN, 8:00 PM) 'After a brief tryst with "bad boy" musician Dante while on a work trip turned girls' trip, Carrie suspects he might be stalking her.'

🔔 Battle of the Bling (HGTV, 10:00 PM) 'Todrick Hall and HGTV designer Kim Myles will find the flashiest, most over-the-top, outrageous home in America.'

🎄CHRISTMAS (RELATED) PREMIERES/NEW🎄

Something from Tiffany's

🎥🎄 Something from Tiffany's✔️ (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 'A woman's life is upended when an engagement ring that was for someone else leads her to the person she's meant to be with.'

🎄 Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The 12 Hours of Christmas"

🎥🎄 It's A Wonderful Binge✔️(Hulu, 12:01 AM) 'Like the original film (The Binge), the sequel is set in a near future where all drinking and drugs are banned except for on one glorious day known as The Binge. This year, that day happens to miraculously land on Christmas.'

🎄 Christmas Bloody Christmas (AMC+ & Shudder, 3:01 AM) 'It's Christmas Eve and Tori just wants to get drunk and party, but when a robotic Santa Clause at a nearby toy store goes haywire and begins a rampant killing spree through her small town, she's forced into a battle for survival.'

🎄 How to Ruin Christmas (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON THREE.

🎄 Teen Titans Go! (Cartoon Network, 5:00 PM) "The Great Holiday Escape"

🎥🎄 The Art of Christmas (GAF, 8:00 PM) 'After her latest gallery exhibition literally goes up in flames, struggling artist Liv James accepts a teaching job at a local elementary school to make ends meet.'

🎥🎄 Most Colorful Time of the Year (Hallmark, 8:00 PM) 'A colorblind elementary school teacher meets an optometrist who helps bring color into his life in time for the holidays.'

🎥🎄 A Recipe for Joy (Lifetime, 8:00 PM) 'Sparks fly between a food correspondent and a shy chef as they work together to reopen his family's beloved diner.'

🎄 Silos Baking Competition (Discovery+, HBO Max & Magnolia, 8:00 PM) "Holiday Edition"

🎥🎄 The Sound of Christmas (BET, 9:00 PM) 'A woman facing eviction falls in love with a grieving billionaire.'

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 Little America✔️ (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🐶 Puppy Place (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔔 The Mighty Ones (Hulu, 12:01 AM & Peacock, 3:01 AM) FINAL SEASON.

🔨 First Time Fixer (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) SEASON FOUR PREMIERE.

🔨 In With The Old (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) SEASON THREE PREMIERE.

🏠 Dream Home Makeover (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON FOUR.

💰 Money Heist: Korea - Joint Economic Area (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

💀 A Time to Kill (ID, 10:00 PM) SEASON SIX PREMIERE.

Emancipation

STREAMING

🌲🌲🌲 Three Pines (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Acapulco (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Power of Love"

🔔 Echo 3 (Apple, 12:01 AM) "We Reject Your Influence"

🦟 The Mosquito Coast (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Goat Head Taco"

🎄 Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The 12 Hours of Christmas"

🔔 Shantaram (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Banquet of Consequences"

🐴 Slow Horses (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Drinking Games"

⚖ Judy Justice (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Play-Doh Squished (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🎨 Art in Bloom with Helen Dealtry (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🔨 The Craftsman (Discovery+ & HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

🔨 For the Love of Kitchens (Discovery+ & HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

🍴 Magnolia Table with Joanna Gaines (Discovery+ & HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

🍴 Food Affair with Mark Wiens (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Who's Talking to Chris Wallace? (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

💖 Love Island: Australia (Hulu, 3:01 AM) 

 🚗 Engine Masters (Motortrend+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Martha Gardens (Roku, 3:01 AM) 

🎵 Behind the Beats (YouTube, 12:00 PM) 

🔔 Super Sema (YouTube, 12:00 PM) SEASON FINALE.

👮‍♂️ Cops (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM) 

Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again

LIVE SPORTSBALL TONIGHT

⚽ Men's College Soccer: NCAA Tournament, First Semifinal: Creighton vs. Syracuse (ESPNU, 6:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: FCS Division I Championship: Samford at North Dakota State (ESPN2, 7:00 PM)

🏒 College Hockey: Boston University at Boston College (ESPNews, 7:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Basketball: Los Angeles Lakers at Philadelphia 76ers (ESPN, 7:30 PM)

⚽ Men's College Soccer: NCAA Tournament, Second Semifinal: Indiana vs. Pittsburgh (ESPNU, 8:30 PM)

🥊 Bellator MMA: 289: Stots vs. Sabatello (Showtime, 9:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: FCS Division I Championship, Quarterfinal: Teams TBA (ESPN2, 10:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Basketball: Milwaukee Bucks at Dallas Mavericks (ESPN, 10:05 PM)

EARLY PRIMETIME

💲 Tug of Words (GSN, 3:30 PM) 
🎄 Teen Titans Go! (Cartoon Network, 5:00 PM) 
💲 America Says (GSN, 7:30 PM) 

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

👮‍♂️ S.W.A.T. (CBS, 8:00 PM) FALL FINALE. 'When violence erupts at a popular food truck festival, the team must contend with a deadly cartel determined to recover a lost drug shipment at any cost.'

🔔 Lopez vs. Lopez (NBC, 8:00 PM) 'Mayan discovers Rosie has spent years secretly blaming George for parenting mistakes she made; George coaches Chance's T-ball team to always play fair… unless you're losing.'

🔔 Young Rock (NBC, 8:30 PM) 'Miami, 1997: Dwayne anxiously waits to see if his surprise heel turn will connect with the audience; as he finally gets to show off his personality in the ring, Dwayne struggles with the public attention from his growing fanbase.'

🦈 Shark Tank (ABC, 8:00 PM) FALL FINALE. 
🔔 WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🎥🎄 The Art of Christmas (GAF, 8:00 PM) 
🎥🎄 Most Colorful Time of the Year (Hallmark, 8:00 PM) 
🎥🎄 A Recipe for Joy (Lifetime, 8:00 PM) 
🎥 Hall Pass Nightmare (LMN, 8:00 PM) 
🎄 Silos Baking Competition: Holiday Edition (Magnolia, 8:00 PM)  
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 

Little America

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🔥 Fire Country (CBS, 9:00 PM) FALL FINALE. 'Vince's judgment is compromised when a harrowing rescue of two siblings triggers emotional memories of the night his daughter died in a car accident.'

🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'A Ferndale, California poke truck; a Palm Desert breakfast spot with frosted pastries and a banger benny; a diner that serves sliders and sandwiches in Hackensack, New Jersey.'

😂 Whose Line is it Anyway? (CW, 9:00 PM) FALL FINALE. 'Guest comic Gary Anthony Williams.'

💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) 
🎥🎄 The Sound of Christmas (BET, 9:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: White Water (Discovery, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Vale dos Esquecidos (HBO Latino, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 My Lottery Dream House (HGTV, 9:00 PM)
👽 The Unexplained (History, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 How Do They Do It? (Science, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Destination Fear (Travel, 9:00 PM) 
💀 Fatal Attraction: Last Words (TVOne, 9:00 PM) 
💖 Love During Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

👮‍♂️ Blue Bloods (CBS, 10:00 PM) FALL FINALE. 'Danny crosses paths with a criminal from a previous case when he investigates a gang attack with a shocking motive; Frank and Mayor Chase butt heads over an off-duty cop who goes too far making a political statement.'

👽 The Proof is Out There (History, 10:03 PM) 'Tony Harris travels to the Florida coast to investigate strange weather patterns and unexplained phenomena at the Bermuda Triangle; Tony and a team of experts analyze evidence of similar anomalies from around the world and pass a verdict.'

🔔 We're Here (HBO, 10:00 PM) 'The queens help a bisexual woman who left Mormonism, a teen struggling with being misgendered and an advocate for the queer community.'

🤠 The Last Cowboy (CMT, 10:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: The Dirt (Discovery, 10:00 PM) 
🔔 Battle of the Bling (HGTV, 10:00 PM) 
💀 A Time to Kill (ID, 10:00 PM) 
🚗 Graveyard Carz (Motortrend, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
💀 Urban Legend (Travel, 10:00 PM) 

Dragon Age: Absolution

LATE NIGHT

🔔 The Graham Norton Show (BBC America, 11:00 PM) 'Graham Norton is joined by Dame Kristin Scott Thomas, George Takei, Claudia Winkleman, Jamie Oliver and First Aid Kit. Plus stories from his audience in the Big Red Chair.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'TV personality Gayle King; actor Bobby Cannavale; Benny Greb sits in with the 8G Band.'

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM)
🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM)
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) 
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM)

Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE

📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Knight Rider (Syfy, 6:00 AM - 12:18 PM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); ER (Pop, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); South Park (Comedy Central, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 2:00 AM); The Office (Comedy Central, 3:00 PM - 11:00 PM); House (Pop, 3:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -9:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antennae, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); King of Queens (TV Land, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Designing Women (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antennae, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Benson (Antenna, 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM); Mom (TV Land, 3:00 AM - 5:00 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Dean Martin; Bob Hope; Charles Nelson Reilly; Carol Wayne; The Might Carson Art Players.'

It's A Wonderful Binge

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included