What's On Tonight (Friday): COBRA!!!! (kai)

 

Cobra Kai

Is Cobra Kai good?  I've seen people rave about it, but a lot of the raving seems to be based on nostalgia for the movie.  I admit that I'm curious about the show, and now there's a new season to serve as an entry point.  Or do I need to watch it from the beginning?  Does every episode have a training montage?  How many Peter Cetera songs are on the soundtrack?  Will Johnny ever make amends with the Mellon family after that bullshit he pulled at the big diving competition?  So.  Many.  Questions.

Elsewhere...

*Netflix has a new Korean crime drama series called Narco Saints.  AMC+ has a new film called There Are No Saints.  Are those really the only two options?

*Speaking of There Are No Saints, in that film the hero's son is kidnapped by a drug cartel.  In Netflix's new film, End of the Road, Queen Latifah's son is kidnapped after her brother steals drug money.  SEE HOW EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED?

*A week ago, I had no idea who Megan Thee Stallion is.  I was introduced to her on last week's She Hulk, and I had assumed she was a fictional character.  I was quickly disabused of that idea and now she seems to be EVERYWHERE.  This week she appears in the new Hillary & Chelsea Clinton docuseries, Gutsy, as well as on A Fireside Chat with Megan Thee Stallion on BET Her (a cable channel I had no idea existed).  I'd say her publicist deserves a raise for finally connecting Megan with the middle-age white guy demo.

*And speaking of Gutsy, this show is supposed to be Hillary and Chelsea interviewing "their personal heroes, extraordinary, courageous and resilient women who have made an impact in their community and on the world."  First person on that list: Kim Kardashian.  FUCK YOU.

This is a good time to be a fantasy nerd what with The Rings of Power and House of the Dragon.  I really like the former, but I had to warm up to the latter.  The first episode tried a little too hard to make sure we got those wonderful GoT staples like scenes of excessive fucking, torture and mutilation.  At least the excessive fucking was consensual, so thank goodness for small favors.  Episodes two and three were a little less desperate to push those particular buttons and got more into the politics and castle intrigue angles.  I much prefer that.  

That's not to say Rings of Power doesn't have its own perversions.  There's an extremely EROTIC scene where an elf brushes his hand against a human woman's hand.  I got the vapors just thinking about it.  Tolkien was all about sexually charged inter-species hand-brushing.  You don't even want to know what C.S. Lewis was into.

TOP PICK

⭐🐍 Cobra Kai✔️ (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON FIVE. 'Following the shocking results of the All-Valley Tournament, Season 5 finds Terry Silver expanding the Cobra Kai empire and trying to make his “No Mercy” style of karate the only game in town. With Kreese behind bars and Johnny Lawrence setting karate aside to focus on repairing the damage he’s caused; Daniel LaRusso must call on an old friend for help.'

PREMIERES

Flight / Risk

🎥 Flight / Risk✔️(Amazon, 12:01 AM) 'Everyday people find themselves in the midst of a global tragedy when two Boeing 737 Max planes crashed in 2018 and 2019. This documentary is told through the perspective of affected family members, their legal teams, and whistleblowers.'

🔔 Gutsy (Apple, 12:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES. 'This docuseries features Hillary and Chelsea Clinton as they embark on a thought-provoking journey to speak with pioneering women artists, activists, community leaders and everyday heroes who show us what it truly means to be gutsy. Joining the Clintons are some of their personal heroes, extraordinary, courageous and resilient women who have made an impact in their community and on the world, including Kim Kardashian, Megan Thee Stallion, Dr. Jane Goodall, Gloria Steinem, Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer, Goldie Hawn, Kate Hudson and many more.'

🎥 There Are No Saints✔️ (AMC+, 3:01 AM) 'A man nicknamed "the Jesuit," is imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit. When his wife is murdered and his son kidnapped and taken to Mexico, he devises an elaborate and dangerous plan to rescue his son and avenge the murder.'

🔔 Saving the King (AKA Salvar al Rey) (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 'In 1956 Elvis Presley saves a young boy from a menacing stranger after a performance. This encounter sets up a chain of events that ultimately leads to a mystical encounter with an angel who sends Elvis on a journey that changes his destiny. The young boy Elvis saved grows up into a rich and powerful man and he forces Elvis to confront the demons of his addictions.'

🔔 Narco Saints✔️(Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'An ordinary entrepreneur joins a secret government mission to capture a Korean drug lord operating in South America. Based on true events.'

🎥 End of the Road✔️(Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Recently widowed mom Brenda fights to protect her family during a harrowing road trip when a murder and a missing bag of cash plunge them into danger.  Starring Queen Latifah, Ludacris and Beau Bridges.'

🎥 No Limit✔️ (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'An extraordinarily talented young woman finds deep, destructive love with her record-holding freediving instructor in this visually arresting romantic drama.'

🔔 A Fireside Chat with Megan Thee Stallion (BET Her, 8:00 PM) 

🎥 Are My Friends Killers? (LMN, 8:00 PM) 'A college student endangers her life as she tries to link the death of her best friend to an elite club on campus.'

🎵 Ukrainian Freedom Orchestra at The Kennedy Center (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'The Ukrainian Freedom Orchestra, composed of Ukrainian refugees and other artists, concludes its international tour at The Kennedy Center; behind-the-scenes footage from the tour.'

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 Central Park✔️(Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON THREE PREMIERE. 

🔔 Merli. Sapere Aude (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔔 College Bowl (NBC, 8:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🔔 Back on the Record with Bob Costas (HBO, 11:00 PM)

Central Park

STREAMING

🔔 Making the Cut (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. 

⚔ The Rings of Power (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Bad Sisters (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Eye for an Eye"

🔔 Five Days at Memorial (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen"

👀 See (Apple, 12:01 AM) "This Land is Your Land"

🔔 Sprung (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🍌 Bananaland (ESPN+, 3:01 AM) 

SPORTS TONIGHT TODAY LIVE

🎾 2022 US Open Tennis: Men's Semifinals (ESPN, 3:00 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ LPGA Tour Golf: The Kroger Queen City Championship, Second Round (Golf, 4:00 PM)

🏎 NASCAR Xfinity Racing Series: Kansas Lottery 300, Qualifying (USA, 5:00 PM)

🎾 2022 US Open Tennis: Men's Semifinals (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: Louisville at UCF (ESPN2 7:30 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Cleveland Guardians at Minnesota Twins (Apple, 8:00 PM)

🏈 High School Football: Lake Gibson (FL) at Lehigh (FL) (ESPNU, 8:00 PM)

🥊 Boxing: ShoBox: The New Generation (Showtime, 9:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: Boise State at New Mexico (CBSSN, 9:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Atlanta Braves at Seattle Mariners (Apple, 9:30 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ Asian Tour Golf: The 38th Shinhan Donghae Open, Third Round (Golf, 11:00 PM)

There Are No Saints

MIDNIGHT

🦖 Primal (Adult Swim, 12:00 AM) "The Colossaeus, Part III"

EARLY PRIMETIME

💲 People Puzzler (GSN, 6:00 PM) 
🏠 The Loud House (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM) 
🔔 Big Nate (Nickelodeon, 7:30 PM) 

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔨 Secret Celebrity Renovation (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'Legendary NBA champion Shaquille O'Neal gives his selfless Uncle Roy a supersized home makeover; Shaq visits the local Boys and Girls Club where he has some surprises for the kids.'

💀 Killer Camp (CW, 8:00 PM) 'Camp counselor Bobby shocks the camp with yet another new addition; campers compete for money against the killer in one of the worst challenges yet.'

🔔 College Bowl (NBC, 8:00 PM) 'Some of the nation's greatest rivalries compete and vie for academic scholarships; hosted by NFL legend Peyton Manning and Cooper Manning, the qualifying rounds begin with Ohio State battling Notre Dame and Texas going up against rival Oklahoma.'

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night SmackDown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 A Fireside Chat with Megan Thee Stallion (BET Her, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 8:00 PM) 
🎥 Are My Friends Killers? (LMN, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 RuPaul's Secret Celebrity Drag Race (VH1, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 The Smurfs (Nickelodeon, 8:30 PM) 

Narco Saints

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Dynasty (CW, 9:00 PM) 'Tension remains between Blake and Cristal as they disagree on business matters; Alexis prepares for Fallon and Liam's baby shower; Jeff questions his recent decisions; Sam finds out some compromising information about the hotel.'

🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'Guy Fieri dives into a meaty smorgasbord, starting with a funky Nashville joint that serves a skyscraper burger. Then in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, a chef cooks up real deal gnocchi and an out-of-this-world spot goes huge with a monster pork chop.'

🔔 College Bowl (NBC, 9:00 PM) 
🎵 Ukrainian Freedom Orchestra at The Kennedy Center (PBS, 9:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Dave Turin's Lost Mine (Discovery, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM)
🔔 Belle Collective (OWN, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
👻 The True Story of the Conjuring (Travel, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Life After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🎵 CMT Campfire Sessions (CMT, 10:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 'Jason Aldean, Old Dominion, Brett Eldredge, Brandy Clark, Jon Pardi, Old Crow Medicine Show, Clay Walker and Tracy Lawrence perform their favorite cover songs around the campfire.'

🔔 Dateline NBC (NBC, 10:00 PM) 
🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
🔔 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery, 10:01 PM) 
🔔 Super Sized Salon (WE, 10:30 PM) SEASON FINALE. 

End of the Road

LATE NIGHT

🔔 Back on the Record with Bob Costas (HBO, 11:00 PM) 'Interview with University of Alabama head football coach Nick Saban; in-studio roundtable discussion includes Reene Montgomery, Larry Fitzgerald, Jr. and Bomani Jones.'

🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 'Actor Kenan Thompson; sportscaster Joe Buck; Yungblud performs.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:35 PM) 'TV host David Letterman; Adam Duritz performs; Hayley Brownell sits in with the 8G Band.'

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO Binge📺

📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Quantum Leap (Syfy, 6:00 PM - 11:00 PM & 12:00 AM - 6:00 AM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM); ER (Pop, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 3:00 AM); House (Pop, 3:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM); Welcome Back, Kotter (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 1:00 AM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -10:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Family Matters (TVOne, 8:00 PM - 3:00 AM);  King of Queens (TV Land, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Maude (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM) 

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Comic Don Rickles; actor Dom DeLuise; singer Glen Campbell; actor Jimmy Breslin.'

No Limit

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included