via Amazon/Courtesy Sony Pictures Television
"It would just break my heart if we had to give Murray away. I mean, before there was even you, there was Murray. When I was sad and lonely, there was Murray. And for a long, dark period of my life when women would offer me no intimacy, there was Murray. ... That came out wrong, but you know what I'm saying."
-- This shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but all five of today's Mad About You episodes were each written by a one-and-done writer or team. All of them were members of MAY's story editing/producing teams. As Season Seven progresses, I feel like the goal was just to fulfill the year-long commitment and move on. Most of these episodes aren't outright awful and some of them are funny as encapsulations of their time, but none of them rank with the show's best. Of the quintet, "The Thanksgiving Show" is the most enjoyable, while "Farmer Buchman" offers more physical comedy from a show/actors not known for it.
-- We start with "Weekend in L.A.," directed by David Steinberg and written by Maria A. Brown (Cybill, Fuller House). Once again, Paul has the opportunity to become an A-lister. Gardner Mulloy (Craig Bierko) wants to be his agent, and he's paying for the Buchmans to live it up at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Being one of Gardner's clients would allow Paul to do the documentaries he wants to make*. Jamie, who didn't want to leave Mabel, is upset that the suitcase with a picture of her was lost. Paul meets with Gardner, who conducts business from and then out of his shower (DIFFERENT TIMES!). The men hit it off and by the time Paul comes back, Jamie is enjoying her vacation. She swam, read, napped and got a massage. Gardner was able to get the previously precious bag found. "What bag?"
*Paul, your last movie was on your fucking family. If it was an unworthy project, that was your fault.
-- The fun continues. Jamie's a pro at the shooting range, where Gardner pitches an idea to Paul. A movie on people who aren't famous, but should be. Like the inventor of the ice cube tray, or the straw. Essentially, this would be a movie-length version of Wikipedia articles. Gardner's still courting the Buchmans, so the trio get on his plane for dinner. Jamie, who's been enjoying the on-board Jacuzzi, reacts badly when Paul brings up Mabel. Non-mom time has been great for Jamie, who wonders, "Oh my God, why did I have a baby?" This, of course, is treated as a big deal. Paul says Jamie's not missing/indulging in her old life as a high roller, she's doing it with "Joey Bishop's old life." It turns out that Gardner was taking the Buchmans to the East Coast. Paul decides to get off and go back to his normal lifestyle in New York. Jamie goes on to Boston.
-- "L.A." might have worked better as a two-part episode. If nothing else, it would've been nice to actually see Jamie transition from mom to party girl rather than just hearing about it. I also wouldn't have minded a scene of Jamie and Gardner alone, where she really considers what he has and what she would be giving up. Alas, we go from the scene on the plane to some time later at the Buchmans. Jamie comes home. She wishes she hadn't said what she said, even though part of her meant it. Let's all note that resentment towards being a parent seems to be Jamie-exclusive. Anyway, Mabel's been having a hard time without her mom. Jamie goes to comfort her -- for extra dramatic purposes, I guess, the crib is in Paul and Jamie's room -- and sings "You Are My Sunshine." We fade to black with the sound of an audience applauding. I guess MAY became a taped '70s sitcom all of a sudden.
-- Next up is "The Thanksgiving Show," directed by Gordon Hunt and written by Hayes Jackson (According to Jim, Lab Rats). Paul and Jamie, bummed that they always have a crappy holiday (they figure that they're "fundamentally inhospitable"), are also concerned about Mabel's excessive sneezing. She's only been doing it at home. Dr. Lee (Steve Park), who is apparently a high-functioning depressive, has the idea that Mabel could be allergic to Murray. Paul doesn't want to consider this, but the (clearly-dubbed) sneezes when Mabel's in close proximity to Murray and his bowl are incriminating. "It's the sink, it's the sink, she's allergic to the sink." After what feels like a long time out of the spotlight, Murray is paid tribute to by Paul.
-- Soon after, Jamie gets the idea to have games at Thanksgiving. It's really just an excuse for her to indulge in the opportunity to be superior over Paul. The Buchmans are hosting on the principle of having at least one pound of turkey per guest. In addition to their family and Dr. Lee, they invite Ursula, dressed as a pilgrim and bummed because she couldn't afford airfare to see friends in Battle Creek, Michigan. After that, Ira wants to bring Marvin, Jamie invites Henry and the Buchmans invite the Conways. Might as well let the British people see what it's like, right? Paul, meanwhile, has successfully/excessively deallergized Murray.
-- Paul and Jamie have decided on running charades as their party game. Burt gives clues and the couple are the team captains. We have Paul, Sylvia, Dr. Lee, Hal, Marvin and Ursula in the kitchen and Jamie, Lisa, Debbie, Henry, Maggie and Ira in the bedroom. Team Jamie kicks ass initially, even with Lisa being a lousy guesser, until the last clue, The Thieving Magpie. This gives Team Paul time to catch up, with Ursula doing particularly well at guessing ("Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.!") and giving (she makes a pina colada to help everyone get "Escape"). Marvin, meanwhile, hasn't been feeling well. It turns out he's allergic to Murray's food -- and so is Mabel. With the score 4-4, the guests overrule Paul and Jamie and dinner is served. Later on, Dr. Lee calls with the correct answer. Team Paul (belatedly) won!
-- Jamie's least-favorite nurse, Diane, returns in "The Buried Fight," directed by Gordon Hunt and written by Adam Markowitz (Herman's Head, Step by Step). The Buchmans have finally stepped into the computer age**! Their heavy home PC (DIFFERENT TIMES!) results in Hal throwing out his back. Maggie is away, so Paul has the idea of hiring Diane. He claims he came upon her services organically, which Jamie doesn't believe. Jamie really doesn't like Paul being in close proximity to someone he finds attractive, who he would easily date if he could, and I really don't like that this is what they're building an episode around. I found Jamie unnecessarily hostile in this episode. Maybe it's also because I didn't see Diane the way the show was presenting her, as a bimbo. On a side note, I know that Diane has one more appearance to go. It's a shame that she'll get paired with Dr. Lee. Imagine the potential if she was dating ... Doug Berkus. Or maybe not.
**Jamie already had a personal computer at least twice before. The point is that they're online at home now.
-- Hal, who wants the Buchmans to knock it off, suggests they bury their problem. Paul and Jamie should write out how they are feeling and then, without letting the other see what they've written, bury it. Jamie likes the idea, but Paul is unsure. He has a hard time with the assignment, ultimately having enough for a small envelope. Jamie filled a binder with her writings. Shortly after, Paul feels exhilarated by the experience. Maggie, meanwhile, doesn't like Diane either. Diane, for her part, doesn't get why wives are so threatened by her.
-- Jamie goes with Maggie and Murray to where she and Paul buried their grievances. Paul's at another part of the park with Ira, who suggests that he try the burying exercise themselves. It could lead to a higher level of intimacy for the cousins. Jamie finds Paul's letter, belatedly realizing the difference between a small letter and a binder worth of feelings. She apparently rewrites how she feels because by the time Paul and Ira find the binder, it's full of lovely feelings. Paul sees that his envelope's been open -- and wonders how Jamie can live with herself. Back home, all's well for the couple, until Jamie sees Paul has an email from Diane.
-- Helen Hunt returned to the director's chair for "Farmer Buchman," written by Robert Peacock (Blue Collar TV, The Haunted Hathways). Paul's been working on the documentary about non-famous people, like moist towelette inventor Kalman Wertzel (Abe Vigoda). Jamie doesn't love it. She thinks it's dull. Paul, of course, freaks out. This is the first time Jamie hasn't loved one of Paul's projects***. Mr. Wicker, making his last appearance on original recipe Mad About You, (thankfully, albeit briefly) interrupts this tedious scene. Wicker guilt trips the Buchmans into maintaining his roof garden while he's away. Shortly after, Paul and Jamie run into fellow -- and considerably more successful -- filmmaker Stan (Robert Klein), his enormous 6-month-old Gunther (who takes after his Dutch mother's side of the family) and Gunther's imported toy. "My belly is jolly!" I laughed for two reasons: a, this is clearly a modified Cabbage Patch doll; and b, the DIFFERENT TIMES! aspect of a toy only being available in the Netherlands. Now that I'm looking it up, eBay was a thing in 1998-99.
***Sure ...
-- Once Stan and Gunther leave, Paul and Jamie realize Mabel has the doll. She likes it a lot, so Jamie figures they should keep it. (I mean, Jamie was okay with stealing cable ...). Later on, Paul and Wicker bond in the garden. Eating raw sweet white corn from the cob and personally getting rid of crabgrass will do that for a city slicker like Paul. Farmer Buchman gets so into his hobby that he's neglecting the movie. Paul and Jamie, meanwhile, get a call from Stan. Gunther's not reacting well to having lost his toy, including whipping his father. Paul arranges for Stan to get the toy back and Jamie responds by saying they'll never be intimate again.
-- Soon after, a storm's brewing and the Buchmans can't cheer Mabel up. They've got to get the doll back. They offer Stan produce and try to buy the doll. He's distracted by a call from his angry wife, Wilma. Paul and Jamie notice that Gunther's sitting on the doll. They consider mugging an infant and making a run for it. After some difficulty, the pair succeed. Back at the garden, as he tries saving the crops, Jamie reminds Paul that he's not a farmer. He's a movie maker who just happened to make a dull movie. It doesn't have to be a lasting problem. Stan arrives, gets the doll back from the pair of nut jobs and complains about how cold it is.
-- We conclude with "Win a Free Car," which helped me realize that Judy Geeson of all people was MVP of today's episodes. First, a little setup. It's the second episode directed by Craig Knizek and was written by Steve Joe (Hot in Cleveland, Doogie Kamealoha, M.D.) & Greg Schaffer (That '70s Show, Lab Rats). Ira's in a bind. Buchman's Sporting Goods isn't as successful as it used to be (art imitating life?). In order to drum up some business, he plans to have a Hands on a Hardbody-type contest at the store. Whomever is the last of 12 contestants with his or her hand on a Cadillac DeVille wins the car. Ira can't actually afford to give away a DeVille. He plans to have ringers. Hey, risking grand larceny charges is better than going bankrupt, right? Meanwhile, Paul has reconnected with Mark, who enjoyed his first day off from work in five months. Hey, I'm just glad to see Richard Kind ... Paul had trouble getting a light to work. Jamie shakes it, the light comes on -- and Paul is temporarily blinded.
-- The day of the contest arrives. Only six of Ira's ringers -- Jamie "Stemple," Mark, Paul "Melton," Sylvia "Rodham Clinton" Burt "Bacharach" (wearing a wig, no less) and Marvin -- are there. Ira is forced to call up six genuine contestants, including Maggie and hostile Rory O'Grady (Dan Castellaneta, another of those actors I'm always happy to see). Ira works to get contestants disqualified, although unfortunately Burt and Sylvia are among the early culls. Meanwhile, it turns out that Maggie gets aroused by big American cars. While she's in a state of arousal and Paul can't tell the difference, the neighbors share a surprise kiss. Jamie, of course, doesn't like this. If Paul's senses were so great, how could he not tell he wasn't with his wife? Soon after, Marvin willingly drops out and Hal arrives to seduce Maggie away from the car.
-- Mark, cracking up from the pressure that comes from friendship's obligations, asks "They shoot horses, don't they?" before dropping out. It's down to Paul, Jamie and Rory, who's annoyed by Paul playing the A to Z picnic game. It's coming up with and remembering picnic items/food in alphabetical order. Eventually Paul recovers his sight and makes up with Jamie. They accidentally take their hands off the car, meaning Rory wins! And he intends to keep the car.
-- The Buchmans Go Broadway: "Cabaret" is among the sheet music selections on Paul and Jamie's piano ("Thanksgiving"). Paul and Wicker sing "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" ("Farmer").
-- Classic Movie Watch: The Buchmans are staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel's King Vidor Suite and Jamie's gun prowess is favorably compared to Barbarella ("L.A."). Seeing Wicker emerge from his crops, Paul wonders if Shoeless Joe is next ("Farmer").
-- Continuity Corner: Sylvia bought towels at Klarik's ... they're not for Paul and Jamie, but for her and Burt to use while they're staying over at the Buchmans' ("L.A."). I know that Suzie Plakson will be back for the finale, but not that Debbie attends the party without Joan ("Thanksgiving"). Hal and Maggie both drink a little in the afternoon, Paul informs Jamie ("Fight"). After getting such a buildup in "L.A.," Gardner is now known as "your agent" in "Farmer". Buchman, Weed and Life of a Button all get mentioned by Paul ("Farmer").
-- Blooper: Bierko's waistband occasionally pops up as Gardner talks to Paul while naked ("L.A."). The set to The Towering Inferno was still standing in 1975? Paul finds a newspaper ad offering tour opportunities for people who test drive AMC Pacers ("Fight").
-- Hey, It's the '90s!: Gardner drinks a Jones Soda ("L.A.").
-- Hey, It's ...!: Reggie Lee and Trujo in "L.A.," followed by a returning Phill Lewis in "Car".
-- Supporting Scores: Ira, Burt, Sylvia, Hal and Maggie are each in three episodes, followed by Marvin in two and Lisa, Debbie, Lee, Henry, Ursula, Diane, Wicker and Mark each in one.
-- Before the Credits: Paul's not reading Who Hops? to Mabel good enough for Jamie ("L.A."). Jamie gets her foot stuck in a baby walker ("Thanksgiving"). Paul reads one of Mabel's storybooks ... to himself ("Fight"). Paul eventually humors Jamie, who botched a card trick ("Farmer").
-- Under the Credits: Paul and Gardner continue trading ideas over the phone for the documentary, like the people who discovered toast, staircases and meat were delicious or useful ("L.A."). Paul finds a quarter in his (leftover) serving of turkey and wins the prize musket ("Thanksgiving"). Digging in the park, Paul and Jamie witness a convict escape from his tunnel ("Fight"). More of Wertzel's boring remembrances are used to put Mabel to sleep ("Farmer"). Rory wants the DeVille, which Ira is hiding at Paul and Jamie's ("Car").
-- Scheduling Corner: Following "Thanksgiving," NBC moved Mad About You from Tuesday at 8 p.m. to Monday. For those who don't remember, Monday in those days was considered the end of the line for an NBC sitcom. MAY was scheduled at 9 p.m., against Monday Night Football, Malcolm & Eddie, Hyperion Bay and most significantly, Ally McBeal and Everybody Loves Raymond. Yes, that's right, you had a seven-year-old sitcom facing two of the most acclaimed comedies of the era. NBC's Monday night lineup from December 1998-February 1999 consisted of Suddenly Susan, Caroline in the City, MAY, Conrad Bloom (then Working) and Dateline. MAY's move to Monday coincided with Will & Grace moving to Tuesday, its first step in becoming one of NBC's pewter age flagships.
-- Ratings Roundup: A range of 7.5 and 10th place for "Thanksgiving" to 5.6 and 12th place for "Farmer".
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