Thoughts on Mama's Family and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

 

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"Well, the truth is, when I think about my family, my kids and all their kids, it kind of chokes me up. I really mean it. I know none of us have ever set the world on fire. ... Except for Cousin Oscar, and that was just a service station. ... Still, in all, I'm real proud of us Harpers. And when I think of what has happened to the family unit nowadays, it just turns my stomach. Husbands beating their wives, wives cheating on their husbands, kids stealing and running wild. And you know where I place all the blame? On all these TV shows that are supposed to be so funny. They've all got kids being raised by everybody except their parents. One program, there's a butler raising the kids. Another one's got an aunt raising Rhoda's kids. There's even a program with three guys raising kids, you don't know where they came from. ... It might be all right with those network honchos, but it does not sit right with this old lady. I guess some people might say that I'm a failure as a mother, but, when all of my children gather around at Christmas, before the mood turns ugly ... they always say, 'Mama, you're the greatest.' And I would have to agree with them."

If you're reading this, I'll assume you know about Vicki Lawrence and Carol Burnett's estrangement once Mama's Family was revived for syndication. Quickly ... Carol and producer Joe Hamilton were divorcing. Vicki had signed with Joe to continue playing Mama when she got a call from Carol, supposedly pitching her own continuation of "The Family," which, remember, began as a sketch on her series. Not to mention the sketch being more than a little personal for Carol. And for Vicki, who also talked about having mother issues. It's not too odd to think that Carol's call might have been a loyalty test. Vicki affirmed that she was sticking to Mama's Family and from there, she and Carol were distant for years. They've made up, but I guess everything's not totally forgotten. I've heard that whenever Vicki plays Mama, Carol gets residuals.

My question for Thoughts On readers is this: In the end, did Mama's Family do right by Carol Burnett? I say that it did, since it carried on the themes of people coping with their complicated family ties and even ended with promise and a new beginning. Three out of the four episodes in today's installment include closer looks at what makes the Harpers -- especially Mama (Vicki) -- who they are. The fourth one is just really funny.

*Young Iola (Nikki Cox) is reciting a poem on and placing felt cutouts of "Great Mothers in History"*

"She was brave and strong to boot/she taught her kids to fight and shoot/And save their money when times got darker/So they'd rob and kill for their dear Ma Barker."

"The Sins of the Mother" revisits the feud between Mama and Eunice, played as a teenager by Heather Kerr. If Carol and Vicki hadn't been on the outs, I could see the role being offered to Carrie Hamilton. Kerr is great, though. She really nails the Eunice voice and mannerisms. The flashback comes after Mama's strong reaction to Bubba (Allan Kayser) having come home buzzed. "You are much too young to pull a stunt like this. Alcohol and acne do not mix." Iola (Beverly Archer) explains that 30 or so years ago, Eunice got drunk while on a picnic with people she wanted to impress, including Raytown's catch, Duke Reeves. This and her fighting with Mama -- with Thelma revealing that Eunice was conceived when she got drunk -- ruined their performance at a mother-daughter church banquet and for a long time after, Mama was the parish's pariah. As much fun as the different takes on established characters are, it's the makeup scene that stands out.

"... Alcohol is not something for you to be messing around with. Especially at your age. You can get hurt."

"Worse than that, you could hurt the people who love you."

"... Yeah, well, I've got the scars to prove that."

"Please believe me, Grandma. You're the last person I ever want to hurt."

"I believe you, baby."

I concluded the batch with "My Mama, Myself," with Lawrence playing both Thelma and Mrs. Crowley. In at least one earlier episode, Mama had mentioned having a bad relationship with her mother; I vaguely recall some line about not even licking stamps good enough for her. The trauma resurfaces when there's a chance to sell an heirloom brooch. It could be worth $1,600! As Naomi (Dorothy Lyman) tells Vinton (Ken Berry), "You're so sexy when you're comin' into money." Crowley's ghost appears to be haunting Thelma, but it's really just a manifestation of a longstanding inferiority complex. Mama remembers a time when she broke her arm and Crowley wasn't concerned about the pain, just if she had on clean underwear at the hospital. Not only that, but she kept Thelma from ever wearing anything other than a dress. "Nobody wants to look at that caboose in pants." The brooch is a fake, only worth $275. That's good enough for Mama, who gives Bubba $200 for a class trip to Oswald Caverns and plans to buy her first pair of designer jeans.

"And finally, this is the head of our family, Thelma Harper. Grandma has been like a second mother to me. It's from her that I learned the importance of family."

"When I think about my family, my kids and all of their kids ... it just turns my stomach. Husbands beating their wives, wives cheating on their husbands, kids stealing and running wild. And you know where I place all the blame? ... Right with this old lady. I guess some people might say I'm a failure as a mother. ... And I would have to agree with them."

"Oh, now, Mama. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not that bad a mother."

"I know that, you pea brain. Cecil B. DeMoron put words in my mouth!"

My favorite of today's episodes is "The Really Loud Family." On the one hand, three-fourths of the episode is setup. But the payoff is amazing. Bubba films the Harpers and Iola for school. Naomi recalls Marlon, the puppy she kept against her parents' wishes. "Every night I'd leave my window open and Marlon would sneak into my room." Vint recalls Thelma getting covered in plaster when she tried to do a ceiling project. "That's when she started havin' men in to do the household repairs. Of course, she made us kids swear not to tell Daddy." Iola recalls tending to Eunice and Ellen's dolls. "Those poor things had been totally neglected." Thelma talks about family and society. It turns out there was a short in Bubba's camera. Only half of what everyone said was recorded. Public access audiences are lead to believe that Naomi was a tramp in her girlhood and that Thelma was a drunk floozie who didn't care for her kids and proudly admits her flaws. They also see her insulting fat Roselle Hufflander, who calls after the broadcast and says that Thelma will never be assigned to any more church drives. So it's not all that bad.

Finally, we have "Naomi's Identity Crisis," a fun one for Lyman. Guilt-tripped into helping Thelma around the house, Naomi accidentally gets walloped with the kitchen door. She winds up with amnesia. "Yeah, they took x-rays of her brain. They didn't find anything." Refusing to sleep with Vint (she initially thought Bubba was her husband) and assuming closer-than-reality relationships with Mama and Iola, Naomi is a sitting duck for Mama's impromptu plan to transform her into the happy homemaker. The plan works all too well. Naomi reminds "Mother Harper" to use a coaster, continues to keep Vinton at arm's length, screws up Bubba's project (a fish tank that once held Raytown's strata becomes the home of "Susie and Mikey") and out-Iolas Iola. Why bother with the "Happy Rainbow Napkin Holder" and paper napkins when you can have cloth napkins and personalized porcelain rings? Mama's scheme is eventually revealed and soon after, Naomi gets walloped for a second time. She's back to normal! Well, almost.

"What a fabulous baby doll! Is this for me?"

"Who else? Now, what do you say we go downstairs and you can try it on?"

"Ooh. ... Oh, not tonight, baby. I have a headache."

"Well, what do you know about that? Looks like 'Mother Harper' knocked some sense into you after all."

*Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) is about to be burned at the stake before the people of Falwell, Massachusetts*

"Any last words?"

"Just one. *screams*"

I have a soft spot for "joke tsunami" movies, including Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. The premise is simple enough. She faces Great Uncle Vincent (W. Morgan Sheppard) in Falwell, which has a "town council that lives in mortal fear that somewhere, somehow, somebody in Falwell is having a good time." The locals include moral guardian Chastity Pariah (Edie McClurg), hunky Bob (Daniel Greene), less-than-meets-the-eye Patty (Susan Kellermann) and an army of good-hearted teenagers. Vinny wants Elvira to turn over the spellbook used by her late Great Aunt Morgana and mother Divana, the true Mistress of the Dark. Yes, that's right, Elvira is more than a horror hostess. She's descended "from an actual major metaphysical celebrity!" It's a battle among mostly good (Elvira), ostensibly good (the Falwell gang) and malevolent (Vinny and his goons). Elvira, co-written by Peterson, Sam Egan and John Paragon, was directed by James Signorelli.

"It's the principal."

"You're darn right it's the principle. Friends oughta stick together!"

"No, I mean the principal, Mr. Cobb."

"He'd kill us if we went to your show."

"Not to mention our parents."

"Kill your parents too?"

"No, our parents would never let us stay out that late."

"Oh. I see. Well, the last thing I want to do is get you guys in any trouble. I mean, so what if it blows my only chance at making a living. I mean, that's not your problem. And if I get so depressed, I ... wind up hanging myself in the oven ... Hey! Those are the breaks. ... But if they ever ask about me, tell them I was more than just a great set of boobs. I was also an incredible pair of legs. And tell 'em, tell 'em than I never turned down a friend. ... I never turned down a stranger, for that matter. ... And tell 'em, tell 'em that when all was said and done, I only ask that people remember me by two simple words. ... Any two, as long as they're simple." 

I eat this stuff up with Easy Cheese and crushed chips. As I've said many times before, performance trumps composition. The jokes may be obvious and the effects are marginally special, but the actors are committed and I did like the underlying decency. Elvira reminds us that no means no, as demonstrated with Travis (Jeff Conaway) and Mr. Glotter (Kurt Fuller), and that it's wrong to be repressed. Patty (although her sign says "Patti") also helpfully explains how to best spread a fire. Even though they don't interact as much as the poster indicated, Peterson and McClurg are also fun together, like when Chastity fainted after it looked like Elvira was putting up "How to Fuck" on the marquee of Bob's movie theater.

*Chastity has come from the beauty parlor, where she's getting her hair curled*

"Well, I never."

"Yeah, and you never will with them soup cans on your head."

"Listen, young lady. I don't know who you are or where you came from, but you most certainly don't fit in this town. Why, you don't even fit in that dress."

"Listen, sister. If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of ya."

"*shrieks* Anita! Anita! It's the Antichrist, I tell you! The Antichrist!"

Alas, Elvira didn't do so hot at the box office. Wider distribution apparently fell through at the last minute. In spite of this, the movie is a treat, with the laughs just exceeding the lust. Unpleasant dreams indeed!

Thoughts:

-- "(Mama muses on Bubba's rebelliousness) I guess the apple don't fall far from the tree." "(Vint) It does if the tree's planted on a hill."

-- Box Office: Grossing nearly $5.6 million, Elvira opened at No. 7.

-- Awards Watch: Peterson received a Saturn Award nomination for Best Actress, losing to Catherine Hicks for Child's Play. She also received a Razzie nomination for Worst Actress, losing to Liza Minnelli for her dual work in Arthur 2: On the Rocks and Rent-a-Cop.

-- Critic's Corner, Elvira: "Meanders along as if Elvira's Halloween look and endless double entendres are enough to carry the film," Caryn James sniffed in The New York Times. Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times: "Elvira herself is great fun, but her cheap-looking movie sinks in its own heavy-handed and uninspired, crass mire." Richard Harrington, Washington Post: "She's fun, a Transylvania Valley Girl grown up into the Queen of the Bs, but after 96 minutes you may start thinking more fondly about those '50s and '60s camp classics she's usually interspersed with."

-- Behind the Camera, Mama: All four of today's episodes were directed by Dave Powers. "Sins" was written by Jim Evering, who had been with the show since its NBC years and went on to write the last episode. "Crisis" was written by Dorothy Van, who also had been writing since the NBC years and additionally played Aunt Effie. "Loud" was written by Neil Lebowitz, a writer throughout the syndication run. "Myself" was the first from the team of Sydney Blake & Bill Braunstein, who stayed until the end.

-- Hey, It's ...!: Had I watched Elvira at the end of September like I planned, then Magda Harout would be the very last repeating woman of 1988. In addition to playing one of Fidel Santiago's girlfriends, she was also church lady Eulalie Griswald. In Elvira, we have Tress MacNeille, Bill Cable, Paragon, Lynne Marie Stewart and Eve Smith.

-- Fanservice Junction: At least two from Kayser. His t shirt and sweatpants in "Sins" is followed by sporting a sleeveless t shirt in "Crisis." Elvira's a sustained example of fanservice, but I'll single out the shimmying at the climax of "Here I Am."

-- Oswald Caverns sounds like a real gem of a place: "Isn't that where them three teenagers went in and never came out?" "Oh, Mama, that was years ago." "And they had just robbed a bank." There's bats and grizzly bears, plus the nearby state mental institution and maximum-security prison. One of the more unique Mama's Family running gags was the repeated references to notorious criminals, like Raytown being near the communities of Hinkley and Bundy.

-- *Bob has accidentally dropped a letter on Elvira* "How's your head?" "I haven't any complaints yet."

-- Reminder: Thoughts on Mad About You resumes next Sunday.

-- Before I bring down the curtain on The Women of 1988, I'll mention some movies I didn't get around to: Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Bird, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Moon Over Parador, She's Having a Baby, The Good Mother and Everybody's All-American.

Surely you didn't think I wouldn't ...

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