Thoughts on four episodes of Who's the Boss?

 

Courtesy YouTube/ABC

"Hey! Mon-ster! What do ya say?"
"I say men are scum! Filthy, testosterone-filled slime balls!"
"... Never bothered you before."
"Mother, did you and Max have one of your little tiffs?"
"My tiffs are not little!"

Katherine Helmond wins my crown for today's four episodes. They include "Marry Me, Mona," where she accepts a proposal from Max (Leslie Nielsen, making his second and last appearance), and "Double Dump," where Mona and Samantha (Alyssa Milano) lick their wounds after losing Max and Jesse (Scott Bloom). In Sam's case, it was to a like-minded girl he met while they cleaned oil spills over the summer. In Mona's case, it was to Max's old-fashioned attitude. She wanted to go to Africa, a restaurant, while he wanted to go home and watch TV. Mona and Sam wallow and snarl at Tony (Tony Danza) and Jonathan (Danny Pintauro) before taking advice from Angela (Judith Light). There is power in sisterhood. The single ladies go to Africa. Mona gives a Julia Sugarbaker-style speech to a guy who just wanted to borrow their extra chair. Soon after, the duo are forced to witness a proposal (complete with three singing waiters), admit that they they're missing their former boyfriends and come to the conclusion that love's worth eventually trying again.

*Angela has a wedding gift for Mona*

"It's great-grandmother's sterling comb."

"Yes, you gave it to me when I married Michael. And now I want you to have it. Do you remember what you said when you gave it to me?"

"'Break it and you're dead.'"

"Marry" has it both ways. We open with Mona and Max's wedding, which turns out to be the dream that he describes to Angela and Tony. What a dream it is, with Mona's recent beaus standing up to object. "Mother! Mother, this is embarrassing!" "No it's not, dear." In the real world, Mona initially turns down the proposal. She loves Max, yes, but she wants to still keep her job, watch Jonathan grow up and insult Angela. Mona's attitude changes after a visit by Max's 24-year-old ex-wife, Suzanne (Shawn Ora Engemann), who wants him back. Max's feelings about Suzanne aren't explored. Once Mona accepts, he gives her a ring she calls "the coconut." Mona's sudden change of heart is too suspicious for Angela, who uncovers the vulnerability at the core of what's going on. Angela and Mona's brief estrangement is resolved with some important words first said at Angela's wedding day. "You said Michael wasn't your first choice for me as a husband ... but that I'd always be your first choice as a daughter. ... Yes, and you said as long as I was happy, that's all you cared about. And now I'm saying that to you." Naturally, Mona calls off the wedding, but wants to keep her ring.

"Will you stop with this heavy metal music? It's pulling the magnets off the refrigerator."

"Dad, you know, you just can't appreciate good music. You know, when this group plays, they have to hire guards to keep girls from rushing the stage."

"Well, of course they're rushing the stage. They're lookin' for makeup tips."

-- Whether Schwarzenegger or Danza, Alyssa Milano just can't get a screen dad who digs her kind of music.

I like to think that Tony and Angela have remained a happily unmarried couple for nearly 30 years. Boss?'s writers got much mileage out of "Will they or won't they?", even when it wasn't the focus of an episode. "Marry" has the two trading proposal suggestions, with Angela realizing that Tony's idea of having it during a Yankees game is pretty romantic. Or maybe she just liked that he framed it as his proposing to her. "Another Single Parent" first appears to be an episode about Angela being jealous of Tony's new friend, the supposedly widowed Kelly (D.D. Howard). Except it turns out that Tony only likes her as a friend. And Kelly kidnapped her daughter, Melissa (Jessica Player). Kelly and her ex-husband had a bitter divorce, followed by an even worse custody battle. Kelly gave up Melissa, regretted it, and fled New Hampshire with the girl. Like many very special episodes, "Parent" tells a lot of story in a short time. It's not helped by the fact that the serious aspects aren't apparent until the halfway point. Still, you get some okay scenes with Howard, Danza and Light. I liked the idea of Angela, who nearly had to fight for custody of Jonathan, somewhat understanding Kelly's motivation. Still, though, "Parent" needed either a rewrite or an expansion.

*Or more than 37, depending on how you look at it.

Finally, we have an outright episode about Angela and Tony's courtship, "A Jack Story." She's hired a new creative director, Jack (David Paymer). Tony likes him at first, until it looks like Jack could be Angela's new man. Tony insists that he doesn't want Jack to make a play for Angela's business, but we saw how he felt when she enjoyed getting a foot massage from Jack. And when she admits that Jack's cute in a Woody Allen sort of way (Different Times!). Learning that Angela and Jack are staying at the Plaza, since they're pitching to Sid's Potato Chips tomorrow, Tony goes to see what's up. He discovers Jack ... with his girlfriend, Carol. Angela's across the hall. She laughs with Tony about how Carol was initially jealous of the colleagues.

" ... You think that Jack's the kind of guy that women find, uh, I don't know, cute?"

"No way. I mean, he's a really nice guy. But he's not gonna break the needle on the drool meter."

"Oh, good, yeah. That's what I thought, too. You know what, Sam? Me and you have the same taste in men."

"Great."

Thoughts:

-- "... Well, I passed through and said, 'What's up?' and Grandma said the toilet seat and it was all my fault."

-- Awards Watch: "Marry Me, Mona" was Helmond's Emmy submission for 1987-88 and "Double Dump" was part of her package for 1988-89. Those two seasons were the only ones she received Emmy nods for Who's the Boss? Helmond also received two Golden Globe nominations for playing Mona, winning in 1989 over the likes of Rhea Perlman, Jackée and Susan Ruttan (plus Swoosie Kurtz for Baja Oklahoma).

-- Behind the Camera: All four of today's episodes were directed by Asaad Kelada, Boss?'s principal director from 1985-90. "Parent" was written by one-and-done Glenn Padnick, followed by "Marry" from the quartet of Howard Meyers & Ken Cinnamon & Karen Wengrod & Joe Fisch. It was the last for Meyers, while the other three hung around until at least 1990. Fisch wrote "Jack" and Eric Gilliland wrote "Dump," his first for the show.

-- Speaking of 1990 ... I want to ask this delicately, but did Katherine Helmond receive plastic surgery or have some sort of health event? From 1990 onward, she looks more taut than the 15 or so years before then. If it was surgery, she at least didn't overdo it, keeping that general look for many years. That's why I tend to think it was more or less natural, if jarring. Or am I making too much out of this?

-- Fanservice Junction: Tony asks Mona to keep an eye on his buns, so she watches as he leaves the kitchen ("Dump"). Hey, whatever excuse they needed to invite us to check out Danza in some tight jeans ...

-- Awkward in Hindsight: Jonathan raves about the Ice Capades, specifically the babes. He suggests Tai Babilonia jumping out of a cake as Max's bachelor party entertainment ("Marry"). Lest we forget, these lines are coming from a 12-year-old boy (okay, that's pretty natural) who would grow up to be an out gay adult.

-- Continuity Corner: "Double Dump" was the first episode after "A Jack Story," so of course Angela still has a bag of Sid's chips hanging around the house.

-- Today in Classic TV: Angela builds on Mona's claim in "Dump" that relationship advice should come from an expert, like a Gabor sister. "With or without a man, the Gabor sisters have always maintained their joie de vivre. You wouldn't catch them moping around the penthouse, unh-unh. Zsa Zsa popped up on The Merv Griffin Show, Eva went out and did Green Acres. The point is, they remained active and vital! We could all learn from a Gabor. ... I'll leave you with that." Mona also is inspired to claim she's Zsa Zsa, scoring her and Samantha a choice table.

-- "I don't mean to alarm you, but your shorts are on fire."

-- Next: Moonlighting (and if I can fit it in, those two episodes of St. Elsewhere I missed). On deck: The Cosby Show.