Thoughts on four episodes of Married ... with Children

 

via ResetEra/Courtesy Sony

"That's it, kids. Let's hear it for your mom. We're always quick to criticize her when she doesn't wash or cook or clean or scrub or ... well, let's face it, she does nothing ... but you've got to admit after all these years, she's finally found a way how to get our clothes clean."
*The doorbell rings. Peggy (Katey Sagal) answers it, letting in Marcy (Amanda Bearse), who's been doing the Bundys' laundry.*

Slightly surprisingly, I liked the Married ... with Children episodes I chose more than my Roseanne picks. I talked about it earlier this week, how Roseanne was somewhat forced to conform to conventional family sitcom standards since it was a new show airing on a Big Three network. MWC, on the other hand, was more liberated in 1988. The show was airing on FOX, broadcast's hinterland at the time, and had clearly found a comfortable rhythm that would last for some time. You can argue that it was the same jokes repeated over and over -- Peg's not into domesticity! Al (Ed O'Neill) is smack dab in hell! Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino) are young degenerates! Marcy and Steve (David Garrison) are well on their way to being as bad as Peg and Al! -- but if the joke's that good and can be told with some variety, I don't mind it.

"Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah," has her wanting to hear "I love you" in lieu of the annual Valentine's Day quickie. The idea didn't come from Phil or Oprah, Al learns, but Marcy, "the only one we can't turn off." In later years, MWC might have had Al troll Peggy about his lack of outward affection. In this situation, it's clear that he does love his family, but has a hard time saying so*. In the end, Peggy gets hers and Al gets his. He redirects the cake that a naked Marcy's going to jump out of to the Chicago Bulls' locker room. Al gets his in the more conventional sense in "Just Married ... With Children." As "Steve Rhoades," he receives plenty of torture from "Marcy" on the game show How Do I Love Thee? A fun idea goes further when they face "Al and Peggy Bundy." A brand new car's on the line and Peggy (the real one) has no problem shocking Al. They get the car and Al gets the ability to turn on lights and the TV without using his hands.

*I remember a Jump the Shark user suggesting that it would be more in character for Al to say something like "I'll love you when you're dead." Jump the Shark had questionable ideas -- just ask future MWC actor Ted McGinley, who really didn't appreciate being named the patron saint of when a show's past its prime -- but every so often, the users would have interesting observations about a show's idiosyncrasies.

"Look, Peggy, a lot of people think they saw Elvis. He was an idol, a sex symbol. And with men what they are today, is it any wonder we look to the dead for a little excitement? Believe me, Peggy, no one wishes he were alive more than I do. I've been to Graceland. ... I saw him in Vegas. His buns alive with magic. His voice pulsing through me, reaching my secret places. His hips undulating, swirling, grinding, driving his essence into my very soul again and again, faster and faster until, until ... *orgasms* ... Can I have a cigarette? *Peggy hands hers over and Marcy takes a drag* Anyhow, what I'm saying here is Elvis is dead and we should get on with our lives. ... Oh, God ..."

"Do you realize that you just had more today in this house than I've had in 16 years of marriage? And it lasted longer."

"I'm Going to Sweatland" had the weakest story of today's batch, but compensated with great moments for Sagal and Bearse. Peggy, having continued her mission to avoid doing housework, runs into a mall patron who may or may not be Elvis (Ron Stein). Soon after, she and Marcy discover that a laundry-resistant stain on one of Al's shirts resembles the king. It doesn't take long for the Bundy home to become a Graceland of the Great Lakes, with camping on the Rhoades' lawn, to Al and Steve's horror. Al's mostly ethical in this episode, objecting to the kids "taking money off of hardworking morons." Earlier in the episode, Al noted that the supposed apparition might be as much of an indignity to Elvis as his time in Vegas. By the time the men have come around, with plans to sell blue suede shoes, the faithful have migrated to Youngstown, Ohio, where he was supposedly buying lug nuts. That doesn't stop Al, Peggy and Steve from hitting the road.

Watching Soap for the first edition of Thoughts On, I realized that the one thing which could keep the show off the air in modern times -- war-related PTSD played for laughs -- was something shrugged off back in the day. I had a similar experience regarding MWC and its relentless use of what we'd now call fat-shaming. As the '80s ended, the show would get attention for its racy humor, like in "The Camping Show." Al's week off from work improves when he and Steve decide to take a fishing trip. It's then ruined by all six Bundys and Rhoades coming along, further ruined by the ladies all having their periods, further ruined by the cabin being swarmed by animals attracted to the menstrual blood and even further by the animals overtaking him. The trip ends with the men traumatized and the women in much better moods. Once again, we've got the fusion of tried-and-true sitcom humor with edgy situations that were just then being allowed on TV.

"Let's pretend Bud's a man and kill him."

Thoughts:

-- "Oh, come on, mom. We both know that Bud is an obnoxious, rat-like creature, but it doesn't mean I don't love him. He knows that. ... I tell him. ... It kind of takes the edge of things like this ... *opens door, calls out* Oh, Bud? It's Sunday. There's no mail on Sunday. Happy Valentine's Day. *shuts door as Bud screams* Love him? You betcha."

-- "Just Married" is the only episode in this quartet with significant guest characters. Bink Winkleman, How Do I Love Thee?'s host, is played by future Supporting Man of 1988 TV David Leisure. Before facing Steve and Marcy, Al and Peggy are up against Roland and Mona Squab. He's played by Geoff Pierson, who went on to play the Al analogue on The WB's Unhappily Ever After. She's played by O'Neill's wife, Catherine Rusoff. There's also "The Lovely Zelda" (Jessie Scott), who Bink announces is "soon to be appearing naked in Squish magazine."

-- Hey, It's the Late 80s!: I'm wondering if any other sitcoms besides The Golden Girls and Married ... with Children poked fun at Vanna White's pre-fame photos showing up in Playboy. And, of course, Vanna either got over it or didn't mind, since she later appeared on MWC. Also from "Just Married ...", Al laughs at the nearly 100 calls to 976 numbers on what turns out to be his phone bill. Steve, meanwhile, was planning on using the $500 that could buy the Bundys a washer and dryer for a Super VHS in the Rhoades' bedroom.

-- Coincidence Corner: Speaking of The Golden Girls and Married ... with Children, "Sweatland" aired on Sunday, Nov. 20, 1988, the day after "Sophia's Wedding, Part I." If you had a fetish for Elvis impersonators, that was your weekend to watch TV.

-- Behind the Camera: "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" was written by Ralph R. Farquhar. "Just Married" was written by Ellen L. Fogle. "Sweatland" had a story by Carl Studebaker and a script by one-and-done writers Pamela Wick & Susan Cridland. "Camping," also known as "A Period Piece," had a script by Sandy Sprung & Marcy Vosburgh. All but "Just Married," which was directed by Linda Day, were directed by Gerry Cohen. He directed 157 of the show's 259 episodes.

-- "Look, Peg, I know you're anxiously awaiting your Valentine's sex-a-rama, so here's the plan: I can slide you in between the Bulls-Pistons game and The Rifleman." "Gee, there's about four or five commercials in between them. Are we gonna do it twice?"

-- Next: Tidy Endings and bonus Mystic Pizza. On deck: We conclude with Mama's Family and bonus Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.