via The Kim Basinger Fanpage
"Yeah, I'm good. ... I'm a modern woman, striking as best I can the delicate balance that society demands of me."
-- Helen Hunt made her directorial debut with "Cheating on Sheila," the first episodic writing credit for Sheila R. Lawrence (Gilmore Girls, Ugly Betty, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Love, Victor). It's got good guest stars. Mo Gaffney gets two showcase scenes, the reveal of tipsy, tacky, S&M enthusiast, party girl Sheila living it up at her Habitat for Humanity fundraiser ("Jacuzzi!") and later not responding well to getting dumped by the Buchmans ("Now I have a question: have you thought about my feelings?"). Sydney Pollack is also used well as Dr. Sydney Warren, who clicks with the Buchmans, feeds them and provides counseling worth every penny. Except it's to the tune of $475 an hour. The status quo prevails. Paul and Jamie not only return to Sheila, but give her a birthday present.
-- I think my biggest problem with these episodes is that Burt is driving me up the wall. Since the beginning, he's been written and portrayed as embarrassing, but he's now crossed the line from endearing to childish. Sylvia's gotten a job as Inspector No. 12, leaving Burt free to spend his days with Paul, who's trying to line up his next project. As if Ken Burns would do a documentary on mole-rats! Or Burt's suggestion, on the origins of cheese. Like many an old person, Burt is impressed by a TV personality, in this case CNN's Natalie Allen. Sylvia, who's got a workplace rivalry with Inspector No. 10 (the sadly wasted Eileen Brennan), barely communicates with Burt. Following Sydney's guidance, Paul gets Burt to admit he feels abandoned. Sylvia admits to a crush on Tiger Woods (he's always on the road!) and reunites with Burt.
-- Next up, "Back to Work," directed by Steinberg and one of only two episodes written by producer Mary Connelly, whose only TV or movie credits were for Mad About You. Miracle of miracles, Mary made me laugh with a storyline about Buchman. Ricky Wrongstag (Steven Anderson), a critic in Baltimore, loved the movie but not enough to give correct facts in his review. Ricky's bloopers being so obvious -- Feldman is the story of a family emigrating from their native Cuba; Sylvia is 86 years old; "his son, Mabel" -- takes away any frustration on my part. It's funnier when I can laugh without necessarily having to empathize with Paul. Jamie, bristling at being referred to as a "nonpro," returns to the world of professionals when she accepts a job offer from Mary Matalin, James Carville and their associate Henry (Fred Willard).
-- Paul, who's already having fun making his own bread, becomes a stay-at-home-dad. Or even more of one. Remember, he's still between gigs. Paul gifts Jamie a talking picture frame featuring Mabel's gurgles. That, plus learning that Mabel's moved past finding her toes to putting them in her mouth, has Jamie regretting her decision to rejoin the workforce. It also doesn't help that Mary accidentally erased Mabel's message. What's a soon-to-be-ex-professional to do? Jamie can't quit. No, she opts to get fired instead. Jamie enlists Paul, who also enlists Sylvia, to constantly call her so it will look like she's not focused on working. Jamie, in turn, talks lustfully over the phone and in front of her coworkers to "her husband." Sylvia eventually declares "I'm sorry for everything I ever did wrong to you."
-- While this is going on, Paul's in Baltimore. Ricky reiterates that he really enjoyed Feldman. He learns from Paul that Paul Buchman is not Cuban, nor did he fight as a welterweight. Ricky claims it's too late to keep the error-filled review from going to press, until he observes a call between Paul and "his attorney, Alan Dershowitz." Back at Jamie's office, her colleagues are impressed that she's juggling so much. She's determined to keep sabotaging herself (a plot device that I'm going to assume goes nowhere). Ricky ends up writing that the Buchmans are Chinese, founded that country's Communist Party and Sylvia's 38 years old!
-- My least favorite episode in this batch is "The Second Mrs. Buchman," directed by Steinberg and written by David Steven Simon. "Second Mrs. Buchman" simply isn't believable as a MAY episode. I couldn't buy that Paul would not have told Jamie that he was married before, especially since it was a paper marriage. The news is revealed after Paul gets a postcard from Svetlana, who's living with her family in Pittsburgh. Paul never dated Svetlana, or slept with her. The marriage only lasted for 14 hours when Paul was 20. They met at New York University, when Paul was a student. Paul has only ever met Svetlana three times. "Soupy Sales meant more to me." Nevertheless, Jamie is fixated on the fact that "You were married." Later on, in a scene that's too drawn out and a little too serious to be funny, Jamie reveals she once accidentally had sex for money. Either that, or she stole $100 from a guy she hooked up with. Back in the first reveal, what's up with Paul continuing to sit or land on a squeaky toy or squeaky something while confessing to Jamie?
-- "Second Mrs. Buchman" also has the misfortune of including an even worse Burt storyline than the one in "Cheating." Paul umpires a baseball game with "players" including Burt and his friends. The two Buchman men argue over whether or not Ira, who has to do all the running for the Murray Hill Pest Control Mets and the Ort Thrift Shop Yankees, was safe. Paul ends up throwing Burt out of the game, which appalls the other players. Luckily for the Buchmans, Sylvia was recording the game. Her footage proves Paul was right. Burt is genuinely sorry. As for Svetlana (Darlene Kardon), an uncharacteristically slow on the uptake Jamie doesn't initially realize that she's the elderly woman at the door in Pittsburgh. You'd think Paul would have immediately revealed the age difference, but "Second Mrs. Buchman" apparently needed that plot twist. That said, I did like Svetlana's use of "This is what I'm saying." Anyway, Jamie brings Svetlana to New York (why?), she meets Burt and Sylvia for the first time and falls for one of Burt's teammates.
-- Larry Miller's back in "The Coin of Destiny," directed by Michael Lembeck and one of only two episodes written by story editor Chris Case (Titus, Reba). Jamie doesn't like that Paul's not especially responsible with money. The senior and junior Buchmans join Ira, his once-and-present-girlfriend Molly (Eliza Coyle) and Molly's son Logan (Will Rothhaar) at a restaurant Paul and Jamie only picked out because of a coin flip. Good luck and/or fate surrounds the diners, as Burt and Sylvia find $100, Ira is getting along well with Molly and Logan and Paul is served a muffin that looks like Madonna (when she was in Evita). Lou, now a TV personality, is also in the restaurant. He's looking for something to air on Hard Edition and the show's willing to pay handsomely -- enough to pay for Mabel's college education -- for the Buchmans' story.
-- Paul's reluctant to believe in the coin providing good luck. It's too late, though. Burt and Sylvia have gone to Atlantic City and the Hard Edition crew is in Paul and Jamie's apartment. Ira, meanwhile, is wondering whether or not Logan is his son. He's going to get a blood test. Marvin, who's heard of the good news, wants to consult the coin. He's been trying to get back together with his ex and won't take her -- or the coin -- indicating it's a bad idea. Jamie's surprised at Paul's reluctance to go along with this. "You used to be a lot wackier." The news that Burt and Sylvia are up $9,500 at the casino, plus the coin apparently knowing about his excessive spending habits (buying a Fleetwood Mac laser disc when he already has the box set), turns Paul into a believer.
-- Jamie is soon appalled at her and Paul's circle using the coin for silly questions. Fran calls in to find out how she should fill out her ballot. Debbie wants to know if she should get highlights. Lou wonders, boxers or briefs? Taking the coin away, Jamie accidentally uses it to do laundry. Maggie catches Jamie stealing all of the machine's quarters. Naturally, the coin Jamie gives Paul isn't the right coin. The truth is captured by Lou's crew. Misfortune eventually piles up. Ira isn't Logan's dad, even though Logan unintentionally perfectly emulated Ira when complaining about the Buchmans' mustard. Burt and Sylvia lose big at roulette. Mark, who, like his wife, is only referred to, gets food poisoning. Marvin gets engaged to his leech of an ex. And a couple who Paul advised to buy a minivan got in an accident. "Honey, you know the Krafts."
-- Finally, "The Caper," directed by Steinberg and written by Victor Levin. It's Paul's birthday and he and Jamie are determined to finally have a good time celebrating it. Those bad parties in the past have been a reflection of Paul. For whatever reason, Jamie and Paul have ordered an excessively large cake. While figuring out where to store it, the Buchmans put up with Marvin antagonizing Murray and getting bit for it, plus learn that Ira's newest girlfriend has expensive tastes. To Paul and Jamie's surprise, Hal and Maggie -- well, really Hal -- not only agree to let them store party food in their refrigerator, but agree to come to the party. Hal's been playing with his toy soldiers while Maggie's decor includes a Cézanne lithograph, an item she obtained as part of the divorce settlement with Hal No. 2.
-- Alas, Paul's party still stinks. The guests are underwhelmed by appetizers including buffalo wings (brought in by Ira), mini Philly cheese steaks (brought in by Debbie and Joan) and fish pockets (brought in by Burt and Sylvia). Marvin, his full arm bandaged, announces he plans to sue the Buchmans for $1.1 million. We also learn that Debbie and Joan spent too much money on a wallpapering project and Burt accidentally pledged too much money to charity. Oh well, he got a good pocketknife out of the deal. Sylvia feels that the lousy parties aren't a reflection of Paul, but of Jamie. Marvin ends up banished to the kitchen. Hal, who asked to use Paul and Jamie's bathroom, is still in good spirits when the other guests devise a plan to put a cap on the party. While Paul and Jamie retrieve the cake from the Conways', they're going to set all the clocks forward an hour and pretend it's later than it really is. The trick works. Hal and Maggie go home, only to quickly return. The Cézanne is gone!
-- Jamie's earring was found in the apartment, so "J'Accuse!" Real life isn't as orderly as a drawing room mystery, so "The Caper" features plenty of moments where people are asked to move out of the way while explanations are given. Singling out his need to keep paying for his girlfriend, Paul accuses Ira. The empty frame has a buffalo sauce stain. Ira reveals that he fixed the lithograph's alignment. There's more to it than that. He also spilled a good amount of sauce on the rug, then tried to clean it up with a linen napkin. When that didn't work, Ira moved a side table to try covering up the mess. Maggie can believe this story.
-- The next suspects are Debbie and Joan, who also have money as a motive. They claimed to have put the Philly cheese steaks on Hal and Maggie's dining room table, which is impossible, since the toy soldiers. No, the truth is, Joan also fixed the furniture. Maggie and Hal believe this account. Next accused are Burt and Sylvia, also in need of some money. And Burt does have the knife. But it wasn't used. While Burt searched for the fish pockets (aided by his not knowing what they are), Sylvia also moved the furniture. "What kind of people are you?"
-- We're up to Paul and Jamie's story, which they claim just involved grabbing the cake and coming back. Hal and Maggie don't believe this. Paul and Jamie didn't realize that by the time they were in the apartment, the lithograph was gone. They did notice the window was open. It was closed in the previous accounts. Anyway, Paul and Jamie nearly got amorous on the Conways' couch. Maggie responds by shrieking.
-- Paul, meanwhile, has figured out that the lithograph was taken between Burt and Sylvia's visit and his and Jamie's visit. Whomever took the art did so by entering through the window. They were caught off guard by the table being where isn't normally, resulting in the perpetrator falling into the stained rug. The crook is ... Hal! He's got the dirty pants to prove it. Marvin is shocked! Hal's motive was that he hated the lithograph. Having it around was a reminder of Hal No. 2, in his own home. A childlike Hal, who tossed the art out the window, apologizes. With the mystery solved, Paul and Jamie realize this turned out to be his best birthday party. And I guess Marvin's going to drop the lawsuit?
-- Fun With Product Placement: In addition to the Diet Coke in "Cheating," Jamie's laptop goes from an "Ompaq" in "Back to Work" to a Compaq in "Coin of Destiny."
-- The Buchmans Go to Sam Goody: Paul's filler questions have him wondering about the lyrics to "American Pie," "Bad Bad Leroy Brown," "I Shot the Sheriff" and "Proud Mary" ("Back to Work"). Lou observes that the muffin had the image of Madonna as opposed to Celine Dion or Lou Rawls ("Coin of Destiny").
-- Classic Film Corner: Everyone thinks Paul in his umpire suit looks like Spanky from The Little Rascals ("Second Mrs. Buchman").
-- Hey, It's the '90s!: Paul, upon learning that Mary and James share different political views: "Yeah, that's good, cause you don't wanna run out of things to fight about." See also, Sylvia declaring, "Of course we have a fax machine. It's the '90s." ("Back to Work").
-- Continuity Corner: Paul and Jamie are uncomfortable about socializing with Sheila and yet Jamie did invite her to Mabel's birth. Also, the couple pay $100 an hour for their sessions and Burt retired after a 46-year career ("Cheating"). Brockwell apparently lost the New York City mayoral election. Jamie is certain that Paul's newfound domesticity is furthering his John and Yoko fantasy ("Back to Work"). How did Svetlana know Paul's current address? Oh well, it is nice to know that Sharon and Jed still exist, as does Debbie's son Noah. They're all named when Burt's up to bat ("Second Mrs. Buchman"). Paul once again complains about Lou hovering (no, he's "investigating") while Ira reveals that Logan may have been conceived during Hands Across America. Holding hands with a girl while standing in a ditch are circumstances that practically nobody can screw up ("Coin of Destiny").
-- Supporting Scores: Ira and Sylvia are in all five episodes, followed by Burt in four, Debbie, Marvin and Maggie in two and Sheila, Henry, Joan and Hal in one each.
-- Before the Credits: Paul doesn't really know the difference between two cabinet positions ("Back to Work"). Mabel's been gifted unwashed and falling apart hand-me-downs from Paul and Jamie's cousins ("Second Mrs. Buchman"; of note, this was a particularly long teaser, clocking in at two minutes). Paul tries to guess what Jamie ate by kissing her ("Coin of Destiny").
-- Under the Credits: Sheila and Sydney trade notes over birthday cake ("Cheating"). James and Mary re-enact the start of Act One, to Ira's confusion ("Back to Work"). Paul tries to entice Jamie into sex by offering her $100 ("Second Mrs. Buchman"). Lou films a long-winded outro outside the Buchmans' ("Coin of Destiny"). Hal and Maggie, in hazmat suits, fumigate their couch ("The Caper").
-- Ratings Roundup: A range of 11th place for "Back to Work" and third place for "Second Mrs. Buchman." Beginning in mid-March 1998, the new sandwich shows on Must See TV Tuesday were For Your Love, which went onto greater success on The WB, and LateLine, which hung around for an abridged second season. Also of note, "Coin of Destiny" aired the night after Helen Hunt won her Oscar.
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