What's On Tonight (Wednesday): Preserving Our Television Heritage, Episode 6

Law & Order, "Can I Get a Witness"

Greetings TV lovers! Tonight, we (or I am anyway...) celebrate our television heritage. In this sixth edition, the game is the same. It's all about the classic TV, which doesn't get enough love and is on life support on Netflix. Save the past, and take a chance on something classic.

Elsewhere, a red sun causes trouble, Nova examines CRISPR, Netflix gets people organized, and Smithsonian spotlights Brazil's Pantanal.

Stifle yourself because here's what's on television for tonight, Wednesday, September 9!

STREAMING

⭐ Arli$$ 📺 (HBO Max, now): Ok, this comedy series about a sports agent isn't great television nor that old, but it does feature you next actor crush: Robert Wuhl!

⭐ Booker 📺 (Amazon, now): This private detective spinoff of 21 Jump Street (also on Amazon Prime) follows Richard Grieco's Booker as he moves for the police force to working for a Japanese company to investigate suspicious insurance claims. Yeah, the premise is silly, and the show tries to shed the premise on more than a few occasions. The cast chemistry works and really helps sell this one-season wonder, which includes the original music! AND the episode not released on DVD.

Cuties 🎥 (Netflix, 3 a.m.): The mostly well-received French movie from the Sundance Film Festival that Netflix monumentally fucked up promoting in the worst way arrives on the streamer. The trailer is one of most disliked things I've ever seen. Even Batwoman has a better like/dislike ratio!

Get Organized with the Home Edit (Netflix, 3 a.m.): SERIES PREMIERE. Clea and Joanna, whoever they are, help celebrities and everyday clients edit, categorize and contain their clutter to create stunning spaces. Are celebrities just like us?!

L.A.'s Finest (Spectrum, 3 a.m.): SEASON TWO. Hey!... this Jessica Alba-Gabrielle Union cop show, um, quietly drops it's second season.

La Línea: Shadow of Narco (Netflix, 3 a.m.): COMPLETE SERIES. Drug docuseries import from Spain.

⭐ The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis 📺 (Amazon, now): High school is hard to navigate... even back in the 1960s. Dobie tried to make it a little easier by watching his many troubles (and loves).✔️

⭐ Punky Brewster 📺 (Peacock, now): This never highly-watched sitcom about young Punky being raised by a foster parent survived for four seasons (NBC then syndication). A revival is in the pipeline for release in the very near future, so why not take a trip down memory lane. Or a new lane. Expand your TV palette, or at least dabble. (TBH, I don't even like the show.)

⭐ The Real McCoys 📺 (Amazon, now): Before The Beverly Hillbillies and the surge of rural-theme sitcoms, there was The Real McCoys.

The Social Dilemma (Netflix, 3 a.m.): A documentary about the dark side of social media. You are always being watched, and they can manipulate you. Trailer.

⭐ St. Elsewhere 📺 (Hulu, now): The masterpiece 1980s drama/dark comedy series that did to medical dramas what Hill Street Blues did to cop dramas, but it definitely reaches for a lot more. It was never a hit show and it spends its first season trying to find its form, but the following seasons are magnificent. For those versed in the pop culture of the era and even the show itself, references and self-references abound. The finale is a crowning achievement, fully embracing its satire and meta tendencies, with the writers getting the last laugh. The classics on the streamer have been in decline in recent years.

⭐ Star Trek: Voyager 📺 (Netflix, now): Trying to find any TV from before 1990 is a challenge. The Star Trek franchise and The Twilight Zone are about it since The Rockford Files, The Wonder Years, and Cheers left. So here is this occasionally great and I think underrated Trek show with the USS Voyager team led by Capt. Janeway. Like most of the Trek spinoffs, it takes a couple seasons to really find its groove.

Woke (Hulu, 3 a.m.): Keef is an African-American cartoonist on the verge of mainstream success when an unexpected incident with law enforcement changes his life. I think this looks hilarious. Trailer.

FOR THE RECORD: 60 in 6 (Quibi, 3 a.m.); Corazón Loco 🎥 (Netflix, 3 a.m.); Singled Out (Quibi, 3 a.m.)

The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (via Gifer)

EARLY PRIMETIME

⭐ Archie Bunker's Place 📺 (Antenna TV, 7:30 p.m.): Stephanie's infatuated with a boy, who just uses her to get closer to an older woman — Billie. You can also see the Billie actress Denise Miller on Barney Miller in the hour prior. She played the young thief Jilly Pappalardo who was later part of the Fish cast.

⭐ Family Matters 📺 (TV One, 6:30 p.m.): Urkel's trip to the dentist takes a back seat when in a terrifying racial profiling incident, Eddie is pulled over for being a black person in a white person's neighborhood. It isn't just a traffic stop. Carl is certain Eddie is trying to cover up for something, but his investigation matches Eddie's story. I vaguely remember this episode.✔️

⭐ House 📺 (Pop, 7 p.m.): House embrace campiness with this later-run episode that is big on Cuddy dream sequences. She receives news that forces her to re-evaluate her priorities. Meanwhile, a teenage patient's suspicious body scars suggest his illness is more than physical.

⭐ JAG 📺 (Heroes & Icons, 6 p.m.): Before there was NCIS, there was JAG. Harm and Manetti prosecute a Navy SEAL accused of recklessness during a wargame exercise which killed a civilian deputy sheriff while Mac and Turner defend the SEAL.

⭐ Law & Order 📺 (Ion, 6 p.m.): McCoy and Borgia target the unlikely hero who pursued a mass murderer through the streets of Manhattan in a deadly car chase that left one dead and one injured. Maybe a little timely? This is season 15, the not-so-great era of Law & Order.

⭐ The Munsters 📺 (Cozi, 7 p.m): Herman falls asleep in the back of his car [*laugh track*], which is stolen by a couple of bank robbers. [*laugh track*] But... someone wanted to steal that car?

⭐ Quantum Leap 📺 (Comet, 7 p.m.): As a naval academy cadet in 1964, Sam is endangered by his support for an ex-roommate who was expelled for homosexuality.

⭐ Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In 📺 (Decades, 7 p.m): Episode two! Buddy Hackett, Lorne Green, Sheldon Leonard, and Barbara Feldon guest star in skits about news of the past, present, and future, body graffiti, a caveman auction, and the mod world of higher education.

FOR THE RECORD: Married at First Sight: Unfiltered (Lifetime, 7:30 p.m.)

Family Matters (via Giphy)

🕗 EASTERN / 🕖 CENTRAL

The 100 (The CW, 8 p.m.): "The red sun derails Clarke's plans." Damn you, sun!!

⭐ The Andy Griffith Show 📺 (MeTV, 8:30 p.m.): Barney has to play matchmaker for Thelma Lou's homely, visiting cousin Mary Grace, and sets her up with Gomer Pyle. (If only our Potter had such friends.)

Brazil's Emerald Oasis (Smithsonian Channel, 8 p.m.): SPECIAL. At the peak of the dry season at Brazil's massive Pantanal, the floodplains bake and a searing struggle for life begins. However, there is an oasis that stubbornly refuses to disappear, a mysterious place that serves as a sanctuary for a host of animals and a hunting ground for predators.

⭐ Doctor Who 📺 (Retro TV, 8 p.m.): Hedin seeks to bring the founder of the Time Lords Omega out of the universe of antimatter by making him bond with the body of the Doctor in the universe of matter. Airing tonight are the middle episodes, not the first or last episodes.

⭐ Everybody Loves Raymond 📺 (TV Land, 8:10 p.m.): The series premiere! See when America decided it loved Raymond! Debra yearns for nothing more than a peaceful birthday at home with her husband, but Ray's lie to his parents and brother catch the couple in a compromising situation.

⭐ Frasier 📺 (Cozi TV, 8 p.m.): Frasier tries to cheer up Roz - unhappy because she's missing a family reunion - by inviting her to the birthday party he's throwing for Martin. End of season two!

⭐ Home Improvement 📺 (Laff, 8 p.m.): When Jill complains about the messy sink, Tim brings in the Tool Time construction team for a week long on-site series to renovate the bathroom.

House of Payne (BET, 8 p.m.): C.J and Janine decide to stand by Malik's side. Later, Jazmine learns that Malik is having a baby.

In the Cut (Bounce, 8 p.m.): An old friend of Jay's resurfaces while Percy struggles in revealing a secret he has kept from his parents.

Nova (PBS, 8 p.m.): In this two-hour episode, scientists study the implications of CRISPR, how it may change the human race's relationship with nature and what it means for human evolution.

⭐ Star Trek 📺 (Heroes & Icons, 8 p.m.): The masterpiece episode "The City on the Edge of Forever!" When a temporarily insane Dr. McCoy accidentally changes history and destroys his time, Kirk and Spock follow him to prevent the disaster, but the price to do so is high. Such a fantastic ending.✔️

FOR THE RECORD: AEW: Dynamite (TNT); America's Got Talent (NBC); Big Brother (CBS); Catfish: The TV Show (MTV); Expedition Unknown (Discovery Channel); Married at First Sight (Lifetime); WWE NXT (USA)

Star Trek (via Gfycat)

🕘 EASTERN / 🕗 CENTRAL 

⭐ All in the Family 📺 (getTV, 9 p.m.): And now we are in the All in the Family in name only season. In the season 9 opener, Edith's cousin Floyd abandons his nine-year-old daughter, Stephanie, on the Bunkers' doorstep.

Assisted Living (BET, 9 p.m.): Philip stumbles upon information about Jeremy that sheds light on their move. Later, Jeremy thinks he may have been a little too heavy-handed with Vinny.

Coroner (The CW, 9 p.m.): Jenny conducts her first inquest into a police shooting. McAvoy must come to terms with his past and confront the brotherhood of blue.

Crimes Gone Viral (Investigation Discovery, 9 p.m.): SERIES PREMIERE. A show about crimes caught on camera.

⭐ Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. 📺 (MeTV, 9 p.m.): Gomer's new friend, a crow, turns out to be a thief, plundering everyone — and stashing the loot in Gomer's locker. [*audience laughs*] When caught, the crow faces a dishonorable discharge and stripped of his purple heart! 

⭐ Green Acres 📺 (MeTV, 9:30 p.m.): Lisa and Oliver each take a college course in Pixley. Lisa studies psychology, and after just a few lessons, everyone in Hooterville is running to "Doctor Lisa," who solves their problems with logical reasoning. Pixley U coming to CBS next fall!✔️

⭐ Three's a Crowd 📺 (Antenna TV, 9:30 p.m.): In the last episode of this one-season wonder (and the Three's Company universe), Vicky gets a chance to do a commercial for the airline, but Jack, who  accompanies her to the audition, clashes with the director.

FOR THE RECORD: Brother vs. Brother (HGTV) Dodgeball Thunderdome (Discovery Channel); Food Paradise (Cooking Channel); Ghosted: Love Gone Missing (MTV); Guy's Grocery Games (Food Network); Inspire Change (NBC, special); Love Island (CBS); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, special); Restored (DIY Network); Wheeler Dealers (MotorTrend)

Green Acres (via Giphy)

🕙 EASTERN / 🕘 CENTRAL

⭐ The Dick Van Dyke Show 📺 (Decades, 10:30 p.m.): In season 4 episode 32, Buddy always says "I could've gotten it for you wholesale" but always after the fact, so Sally dares him to prove it when Rob wants to buy Laura a fur coat.

⭐ Friends 📺 (Nickelodeon, 10 p.m.): In this great two-parter, Phoebe feels neglected when Joey falls for her twin sister, and Chandler struggles to fire an attractive co-worker. Meanwhile, Ross attends Lamaze classes with Carol and Susan. Later, Rachel switches identities with Monica so she can use her health insurance. You can see Mad About You's Helen Hunt and Leila Kenzle (crossover!) plus Elliott Gould and the classic George Clooney and Noah Wyle cameo not as their ER characters.

Hacking Your Mind (PBS, 10 p.m.): SERIES PREMIERE. Taking a trip around the world demonstrates how to go through life on auto-pilot.

⭐ Roseanne 📺 (Cozi, 10:30 p.m.): DJ brings home his first girlfriend, Lisa, and it quickly becomes apparent that DJ is being used by Lisa throughout the episode. However, their relationship mirrors Roseanne and Dan's own, to Roseanne's amusement and Dan's concern. Meanwhile, Jackie and Fred start marriage counseling. For a late-run episode, this one is above average.✔️

FOR THE RECORD: 48 Hours (CBS); Cari & Jemele (Viceland); Donkmaster (Viceland, 10:30 p.m.); House Hunters/House Hunters International (HGTV); Kaplan America (Discovery Channel, special); Marrying Millions (Lifetime); Resto My Ride (Motor Trend)

Roseanne (via Giphy)

🕚 EASTERN / 🕙 CENTRAL 

⭐ The Carol Burnett Show 📺 (MeTV, 11 p.m.): Helen Reddy and John Byner guest star. In Nora Desmond, Carol plays a has-been actress who's so sure she's dying that she plans a death scene. In Rona Rumor, a Hollywood gossip columnist ruins a happy marriage by twisting their words. Finally, the gang parodies TV commercials, including Dirt Around the Collar, Sludge, Improper Margarine, Left-Guard Deodorant, and Minnie Made Orange Juice.

⭐ The Golden Girls 📺 (Hallmark Channel, 11:30 p.m.): A young man shocks Blanche when he shows up unannounced from Dallas, Texas and tells her that her late husband George was his father. Also, the Sonny and Cher outfit!✔️

⭐ Good Times 📺 (TV One, 11 p.m.): In this well-done VSE, the family is puzzled by Keith's sudden mood swings until they find out that he is secretly hitting the bottle.

⭐ Perry Mason 📺 (MeTV, 11:30 p.m.): If you're like me and still trying to wash away HBO remake... It's not surprise when washed up and disliked golfer Chick Farley turns up murdered. But when fellow golfer Jim Harrell is charged with the death, Mason gets a mysterious envelope containing $2,500 and a request from Harrell to defend him.

FOR THE RECORD: Nightly Pop (E!, 11:30 p.m.); Ridiculousness (MTV); The Soup (E!)

The Golden Girls (via Giphy)

💤💤😴💤💤 

⭐ The Bernie Mac Show 📺 (Laff, 2 a.m.): Bernie Mac is one of the newest additions to the sitcom-heavy network. In this late episode, Vanessa turns to Curtis for help fixing up her junk heap when Bernie refuses to buy her a new car. Meanwhile, Jordan schemes to attend a concert.

⭐ Brooklyn Bridge 📺 (Decades, 1 a.m.): From Family Ties creator Gary David Goldberg came this highly-praised yet underwatched dramedy in '50s. Alan's plan to help Benny with a date backfires when he develops a crush for Katie.

⭐ Charmed 📺 (Pop, 4 a.m.): In this really silly but highly entertaining episode, the sisters and Chris unknowingly take part in a demonic reality TV show entitled Witch Wars where they are the targets and their powers are the prize.

⭐ Coach 📺 (Antenna TV, 12:30 a.m.): Hayden becomes so blinded by the pressure to win that he asks a freshman cornerback to shut down one of the best receivers in the nation any way he can.

⭐ The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 📺 (BET, 3 a.m.): Philip takes the cue and sets out to stick it to pool hustlers who tricked Will.

⭐ The Jamie Foxx Show 📺 (VH1, 3:30 a.m.): In this quality episode, Jamie thinks he's landed a sure thing when a Hollywood agent Anthony Michael Hall offers to buy his television pilot.

⭐⭐ Law & Order 📺 (WE tv, midnight): In "Can I Get a Witness," a woman witnesses the shooting of a low-level drug dealer, then she is murdered before she can identify the killers. This episode features a young Chadwick Boseman as a suspect, though he isn't a key figure. The episode is more ensemble.

⭐ Mannix 📺 (MeTV, 2 a.m.): Mannix must find and learn the truth, when a former college student's accused of killing his former anthropology professor.✔️

⭐ The Nanny 📺 (Cozi, 12:30 a.m.): In this notable highlight, Maxwell and Fran go on their first date. It's to a party at Elton John's. But do they fell the love tonight? No, it is a disaster. And there the show goes breaking my heart.

⭐ NewsRadio 📺 (Antenna TV, 2 a.m.): In "Bitch Session," a strict new code of conduct prompts the staff to reveal feelings about Dave.

⭐ Profiler 📺 (Start TV, 2 a.m.): Samantha works alongside a driven Jarod who poses as an Atlanta police detective.

⭐ That '70s Show 📺 (Laff, 12:30 a.m.): To get in the Halloween spirit, the gang goes to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This is easily one of the show's best episodes.

⭐ The Twilight Zone 📺 (Syfy, 3 a.m.): In this season four episode (the one-hour episodes season), three astronauts discover the wreckage of a ship identical to their own on an unexplored planet. Guest stars include Ross Martin and the always reliable Jack Klugman.

⭐ Without a Trace 📺 (Paramount Network, 2 a.m.): The team searches for a missing woman, part of an identity-theft ring, who may also be tied to terrorism and an international political conspiracy.

Mannix (via Giphy)

LATE-NIGHT TALK & SATIRE

Conan (TBS, 11 p.m.): Beth Stelling

The Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy Central, 11 p.m.)
The Dick Cavett Show 📺 (Decades, 9 p.m.): Jimmy Hoffa, Melvin Belli, and Charles Ashman (31 Oct 1973)

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee (TBS, 10:30 p.m.)
Jimmy Kimmel Brad Paisley Live! (ABC, 11:35 p.m.): Rainn Wilson
Johnny Carson 📺 (Antenna TV, 10 p.m.): Don Johnson, David Brenner, and Dale Robertson (25 Sep 1987)
The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 a.m.): Gabrielle Union and Nick Cave
Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC, 12:36 a.m.): John Cleese and Glenn Howerton
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 p.m.): Kevin Hart, Josh Charles, and Chika
Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen: @ Home (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Brandi Glanville and Ziwe Fumudoh

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Note: All times are Eastern.

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; IMDb; TV Passport; Zap2it
⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included

🏈⚾🏀🏒🥊⛳⚽🎾🏎️: Sportsballs

Happy watching, everyone!