via Mental Floss/Warner Bros. Pictures
"Clark, why don't we just forget the Pig in a Poke itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?"
"Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds."
Clark (Chevy Chase), Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo), Audrey (Dana Hill) and Rusty (Jason Lively) may be special people, but even they're not immune from a common movie problem: sequelitis.
National Lampoon's European Vacation, directed by Amy Heckerling, has a screenplay credited to John Hughes and Robert Klane. I was unaware or had forgotten that Hughes' only contributions were the characters and material that didn't make it into National Lampoon's Vacation. As with all the Vacation movies, European Vacation's best moments depend less on the plot and more on the characters.
Accidental game show winners, the Griswolds* receive a free, two-week vacation to London, Paris, the West German countryside and Rome. Clark, as usual, wants to make it the family trip to end all family trips. Ellen wouldn't mind if she and Clark traveled alone. I'm with Ellen -- Audrey and Rusty are particularly unlikable this time around. Audrey won't shut up about missing her boyfriend, Jack (William Zabka**). Rusty, meanwhile, is either horny, whiny or snarky depending on the scene.
*Yes, they're the "Griswalds" in this movie, but let's face it, they'll always be the Griswolds.
**Anthony Michael Hall, as we know, chose to make Weird Science rather than this. I'm curious how Zabka would have done as Rusty, but maybe it was too late for him to escape his bully typecasting.
*Clark is verklempt in the German countryside*
"There it is, kids. My motherland."
"Dad, Grandma's from Chicago."
"Shut up, Russ."
I'd love to know what material was Hughes*** and what was Klane's. I could see Clark accidentally destroying a monument, racing the family through an attraction before it closes and causing a riot appearing in Vacation. The same goes for his misunderstanding Ellen's lingerie purchase ("I wouldn't want the children to see me in this.") and the idea of the family annoying each other while not talking. This latest viewing of European Vacation helped me notice a fondness for the Rule of Three.
***Aside from the name "Clark Grisw(a)ld," nothing came from "Vacation '58."
Comedic triples happen when Clark tries to find his and Ellen's hotel room, eventually ending up sharing a bed with an amorous woman (Maureen Lipman). It happens when Clark drives in London, crashing into polite motorists before badly injuring a bicyclist (Eric Idle). It happens with Idle, who goes from his London encounter to getting assaulted twice more by Clark in Rome. To some extent, it happens with Clark and his bedroom problems: bad mattress in London, bad mattress in Paris and using a bed pan to brush his teeth with in Germany.
On the other hand, we have the thief (Victor Lanoux). He still feels like an afterthought. Honestly, why not have him involved with the theatrical release of Clark and Ellen's sex tape? It would put a button on that story, which otherwise peters out, and eliminates the mess that comes from introducing a new idea and character more than an hour into the movie.
"I'll have a Coke."
"Do you want that in the can?"
*Clark glances at the airplane lavatory*
"No, I'll have it right here."
If you told me Chase and D'Angelo were contractually obligated to make European Vacation (see below) and Heckerling was a hired gun, I'd have no problem believing you. Still, Chase and D'Angelo are excellent together as usual. Having the Griswalds accidentally stay with a random German couple rather than their relatives was clever. In fact, it could have carried a film of its own. I liked a couple other gags, like the Griswalds' spending hours in a roundabout and their quick visit to the Louvre.
Ryan Vlastelica, The A.V. Club, hit upon what may be European Vacation's biggest flaw. Why should be we care if the Griswald's vacation isn't perfect? Aside from the $253 phone bill Audrey racked up, it's not like Clark's paying for any of this misfortune. He comes closest in a surprisingly effective scene later in the movie. Having alienated Ellen, Rusty and Audrey, Clark has no one to see the sights of Rome with. He even takes the 1985 equivalent of a sad selfie. It makes his heroics a few minutes later, rescuing a kidnapped Ellen from the thief, all the sweeter.
"Your parents are actually pretty cool."
"Yeah, they're good for a few laughs, sometimes."
"Now can we go home?"
Not Recommended.
Thoughts:
-- "Oh, Sparky, I'm glad we decided to be pigs!"
-- Box Office: Grossing $49.3 million on a $17 million budget, this opened at No. 1 (interrupting Back to the Future's time leading the box office) and came in at No. 14 for 1985.
-- Critic's Corner, Clark: Variety found him "actually rather sympathetic -- if boorish -- in his insistence on turning every Continental moment into a delight." Vlastelica observed that Clark regressed. "Without Cousin Eddie to look down on, he basically assumes Eddie's intelligence level. Arguably, so does the film."
-- I didn't find many interesting pull quotes from reviews because European Vacation didn't have any advance screenings for critics. That's one of a few interesting quirks about the movie's production and release. If I'm not mistaken, Chevy made this right after Fletch, at a time when his comeback wasn't completely assured. He apparently initially turned it down on the grounds that it wasn't funny enough. The producers originally threatened to hire Steve Martin (who was also in a transitional phase in his career in 1984) before paying Chevy more. For some reason, European Vacation's less than two-month shoot (October-December 1984) feels particularly rushed. I couldn't find anything about changing the release date, so this was presumably always going to be a summer tentpole for Warner Bros.
-- Fanservice Junction: Claudia Neidig as Claudia, the topless French dancers and, once again, Chevy showing off his legs (this time in lederhosen).
-- Memorable Music: The score is 33-23, favoring songs written for movies. European Vacation had four entries total, two in each camp. We have the established songs, "Big Spender" and "Some Like It Hot," plus the apparent originals, "New Looks" and "Back in America."
-- Of all people, Dame Gillian Lynne (Cats, Phantom of the Opera) apparently choreographed this movie. The costumes were by Graham Williams.
-- If Jeopardy! hasn't yet, they really need to make "History of Early Hungarian Cabinet Making" a category.
-- The London hotel being named the Royal Imperial Windsor reminds me of Miss Piggy's Guide to Life. "(paraphrased) The Hotel Central will be a nice, clean establishment in a good part of town, whereas the Hotel Royal Majestic Fantastic will be a fleabag above a topless bowling alley."
-- Hey, It's ...!: John Astin, Gary Owens, Paul Bartel, Jeannette Charles, Mel Smith, Robbie Coltrane and Moon Unit Zappa.
-- I think this is how the two-week trip broke down:
Day One: Leave Chicago, arrive in London.
Day Two: Big Ben/Parliament.
Day Three: Rainy day, Audrey calls Jack.
Day Four: Rusty sees the British punks.
Day Five: Clark gets the phone bill, Stonehenge, leave England.
Day Six: Arrive in Paris, lose video camera, Eiffel Tower, Clark and Ellen catch Rusty at the titty show.
Day Seven: Sightseeing, go to Louvre.
Day Eight: Audrey's mad at Jack and Debbie, "Dad, I think he's gonna pork her."
Day Nine: Leave Paris, arrive in Germany, stay with "Fritz & Helga."
Day 10: The Bavarian festival/riot, all-night train trip.
Day 11: Arrive in Rome, go shopping.
Day 12: Finale, Clark says they're leaving the day after tomorrow.
Day 13: Happily ever after?
Day 14: Go home, Clark causes the plane to crash into the Statue of Liberty's torch.
-- "Yup, the Griswalds are back."
-- Next: The Black Cauldron. On deck: Fright Night and Weird Science. Coming Soon: Pee-wee's Big Adventure and Real Genius.
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