What's On Tonight (Monday): Say Goodbye To "Briarpatch"

A show that seemingly no one but me watched during its ten week run on USA, where it was buried after Monday Night Raw--the Rosario Dawson led show had virtually no audience overlap with its wrestling lead-in and honestly I'm not sure how anyone at USA thought it could, but what the heck--I'm giving it Top Pick status tonight anyways!  It should be streaming on some service for a good while to come anyways---it went down some narrative dark alleys, a lot of red herrings have been thrown about, but it was a pretty enjoyable Elmore Leonard/Cal Hiaasen-esque tale of criminal eccentrics and it deserved better than to be ignored by the world. Also saying good-bye tonight but only til the fall (HOPEFULLY) is the current CBS Monday Night Lineup- (Awww) BUT Saying Hello tonight is the newest season of American Dad and the debut of "The Baker and the Beauty" which i very nearly gave Top Pick to, but i watned to give Briarpatch Top Pick at least once. This is What's On for April 13th 2020



8:00

The Neighborhood (CBS): Yes its early season finale time for the CBS lineup here (Awww) but hopefully we go out with some style and some class tonight. "A surprise delivery prompts Dave and Gemma as well as Cedric and Tina to examine the power dynamics in their respective relationships" (Oh there shouldn't be any doubt that the wives both have the power in their relationships--i mean "happy wife, happy life!")

The Voice (NBC): Its the premiere of the "Knockouts" round where in the various picked singers by the judges, officially all start competing against one another to advance to the next level.

9-1-1 (FOX): Maddie fears for herself and her co-workers when the call center in which she works is taken hostage. ("The Emergency Call Center Has Been Taken Over!!!!")

The Bachelor-Listen To Your Heart (ABC): The latest variation of The Bachelor begins tonight with tonight being a musician themed edition--8 women, and 12 men are all gathered up here all looking for love and all probably in the wrong places.  Two men try to serenade the same woman (Nooo), Ryan gets caught in a love triangle, and Plain White T's perform for some reason. (Hey There Delilah--Hope You're A Bachelor Fan Cause I'm On TeeVeeee---Ohhhhhhhhhh....)

Whose Line? (The CW):  NEW episode features guest Greg Proops (again??) Its titled Greg Proops 5! (sounds like a terrible band name doesn't it? The Greg Proops 5!)

Antiques Roadshow (PBS): Desert Botanican Garden Hour 3---A Hassan el Glaoui tempera painting circa 1970; a Line Vautrin Talogel mirror; a diamond horseshoe broach circa 1900. (Antiques!!!!)

Cosmos-Possible Worlds (Nat Geo): "Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors"---Human potential for change; the story of one of history's greatest monsters and his virtuous transformation. (????)



8:30

Bob Hearts Abishola (CBS): Also saying goodbye tonight is this freshman sitcom which will 1000% be back---"Dottie makes an unexpected connection when she meets a fellow stroke survivor at physical therapy; Bob and Douglas try to keep tabs on Christina when she's away at a wellness spa (which is actually a mental health clinic but we'll keep that between us)  Have A Good Summer Bob Hearts Abishola!

Whose Line? (The CW): Rerun of last August's Adrienne Houghton

9:00

All Rise (CBS): Not quite saying good-bye (they have a special Quarantine themed episode on tap at some point in the near future) is this freshman year court drama--I'm guessing it'll come back??? but it was far from a sure thing for a renewal prior to the virus shutting everything down. "After a near breakdown, Emily arrives at a sobering conclusion; Mark finds himself in an uncomfortable position after he agrees to do a police ride along; Judge Lola is faced with her own crisis after learning that Robin didn't get the job in LA. (That would be her husband)

TMZ Investigates-Tiger King--What Really Happened? (FOX): TMZ fills in an hour for Fox tonight exploring well the title kinda tells you here. Regular timeslot holder "Prodigal Son" will return next Monday with its last 2 episodes of the season.

Roswell-New Mexico (The CW): The discovery of some complications with Max's pod forces Liz, Michael, and Isobel to confront the possibility that they may not be able to save him; Maria and Alex make amends. (They might not be able to save one of the main characters of the show?!?!?!?)

Antiques Roadshow (PBS): Rerun of Spokane from Jan of '16--finds them looking at A Snow White banter from 1938, a Chinese Huanghauli cosmetic case; and an 1860 John J Audubohn chromolithograph.

Better Call Saul (AMC): I believe it is the penultimate episode of the season here "In the wake of Jimmy's traumatic misadventure last week, Kim takes stock of what is important to her; Jimmy meanwhile attempts to return to business as usual but it proves more difficult than anticipated; Gus and Mike set their plan into motion. (I thought they did that when Gun exploded his chicken restaurant and made it look like the Cartel did that like two episodes back???) "Bad Choice Road" is the episode title.

The Plot Against America (HBO): "After learning the family has been selected for a forced relocation, Herman looks to make a challenge in court; Bess gives Herman an ultimatum when violence breaks out at a rally for Lindberg's next piblic liberal challenge." (This Is Part 5 of what i believe is supposed to be a 6 Part miniseries here right???)

Cosmos-Possible Worlds (Nat Geo): "Coming of Age in the Anthropocene"--A baby is born on the day the show premieres; one of her possible futures is explained. (A baby is born on the day the episode premieres or Cosmos itself???)

Biography Presents Kenny Rodgers (A&E): "The Gambler" himself gets a special new two hour Biography episode!  (nods)

American Pickers (History): The boys must search for who owns some pricey vintage bikes; When Scratch takes a shine to Frank, can Frank then turn on the charm to cut a deal??? (I don't know!)

Beyond the Unknown (Travel): A sinister set of tiny human heads (???); a lifelike doll possesses a deadly curse (???); a bewildering hitchhiker from beyond the stars. (Is it "Starman???")

Gomer Pyle (MeTV): Sgt. Carter needs an escort for his sister and Gomer is the only willing Marine. (Pyle? Shazam! Pyle? Shazam! Pyle?)

9:30

Green Acres (MeTV): When Oliver accidentally hits Lisa on her head, she develops amnesia. (Oh that old sitcom chestnut!)

10:00

Bull (CBS): Saying an early goodbye for its 4th season (has it really been 4 seasons already???) Bull must mount a defense for an idealistic state judge who is going on trial for obstruction of justice after she helped a trial witness evade federal arrest in her courtroom. (Now THIS reeeaaaallly sounds like it should've been a cross-over with lead in show "All Rise")

Songland (NBC): Shark Tank but for singers reality show from last summer is back for an early 2nd season tonight. Joining the regular panel of judges will be guest judge Lady Antebellum

The Baker & The Beauty (ABC): PREMIERE! "On a wild Miami night, Daniel meets international superstar Noa Hamilton and his life movies into the spotlight" (How this wasn't a summer show is beyond me as it looks like the kinda light and breezy show that usually shows up on the networks during the warmer weather season)

Independent Lens (PBS): "Bedlam" Psychiatrist Kenneth Rosenberg visits emergency rooms, jails, and homeless camps to investigate mental illness. (Maybe not the best time to be visiting these places but you do you!) (This runs until 11:30 tonight) 

Breeders (FX): Paul attempts to focus on his upcoming wedding but is constantly thwarted by his family; Ally is distracted by work; Luke is misbehaving at school and Leah doesn't understand why they are bothering to get married. (Doesn't understand why they're getting married??? that can't be a good sign!) "No Honeymoon" is the episode's title.

American Dad (TBS): PREMIERING ITS 15th SEASON TONIGHT (15TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!) This venerable animated show returns tonight with "100 Years Of A Solid Fool" (HA!)

Dispatches From Elsewhere (AMC): The gang reflects on their experiences so far; Peter and Simone go on their first date (aww); Janice faces an unexpected decision; and Fredwynn is convinced that there is more to the story than has been revealed to them so far. (Well he would think that, his one real distinguishing character trait has been his constant paranoia and insistence that there's hidden info being kept from them!)

My Brilliant Friend-Story of a New Name (HBO): On Ischia, an agoinzing rift begins to form between Elena and Lila. (Not an agonizing rift!!!!!)

Almost Paradise (WGN): "When Alex (that would Christian Kane) discovers that a group of mobsters are shaking down street food vendors, he goes undercover and realizes that the implications for the future of Cebu are far worse than he imagined." (The episode is titled "Reef Eel Soup For the Soul")

The Alaska Triangle (Travel): Investigating whether an inter dimensional portal in the Alaskan Triangle led to the disappearance of an airplane carrying 44 military personnel in 1960. (A case made for NCIS! "Grab Your Gear, We're Going to Alaska" "But Boss...Why???")

Cops (Paramount): Passengers tumble out one by one during a car chase; officers point out a dubious item stuck on a suspect's pair of pants; and the occupants of a stolen vehicle claim they all fell victim to a mysterious woman. (The Eeeevil Woman....ba-da-da-da-da...The Eeeevil Woman...ba-da-da-da-da....Eeeeeeeevil Woman.) (COPS IS FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE!!!!!)

11:00

BRIARPATCH (USA): Top Pick of the night goes to the first (and lets be honest only) season finale of this pretty darn entertaining serialized mystery show that has "Allegra lining everyone up and knocking them all down" (Huh???) The episode is called "Felicity" which is the name of Rosario Dawson's dead sister whose death from a car bomb is what drove her down to that mind bogglingly corrupt small town in the first place. I say mind bogglingly cause seemingly everyone who lives there is completely corrupt in some way! Its kind of impressive actually!

Merle Haggard--A Salute To A Country Legend (A&E): Hour long concert footage that was done in tribute to the country singer.

HAVE A GOOD START OF THE WORK WEEK---I KNOW IT DON'T THRILL YOU, I HOPE IT DON'T KILL YOU---WELCOME TO THE WORK WEEK!!!