Thwartlandia And Other Friday Headlines

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'Anthony Fauci Ain't Touching Your Dirty Hand Ever Again' [Wonkette]

Jonathan Last On 'Know-Nothing Conservative' Morons [The Bulwark]

Donnie's Favorite Media Fluffer Is A Big Phony? You Don't Say! [The Daily Mail]

Sweden's Approach To Stopping Coronavirus Seems... Unwise [Vox]

The Superintendent Of The Massachusetts Soldiers' Home Is Asserting That The State Was Informed Of The Coronavirus Outbreak At The Facility [New England Public Radio]

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Ranking Pop Culture's Tigers [The Ringer]

The Prince Of Tides Has Gotten The Criterion Treatment [The Muse]

'Gwyneth Paltrow Has The Last Laugh' [Town & Country]

In Case You Missed It: Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Pandemic PSA [Page Six]

Seth Meyers On The Challenges Of Producing His Show From Home [CNN]

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An Ohio Prep School Student Created A Website To Bring Food To The Elderly [Cinncinati Dot Com]

Oh No, A World Without Big Brother Or Love Island?!?! [Reality Blurred]

Meet The National Zoo's Newborn Cheetahs! [DCist]

Disney+ Passed The Fifty Million Subscriber Mark [CNBC]

The Rewatchables Revisit Enemy Of The State [The Ringer Podcast]

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If You Care, UFC 249 Is Cancelled, 'Private Island Be Damned' [Awful Announcing]

Exploring Sports Journalism's Love Affair With Tom Brady [Deadspin]

Agent Stephen Fryer Discusses The Idea Of MLB Returning In The Summer [Greater Boston/WGBH Video]

Retired Running Back Chris Johnson Is Denying A TMZ Report That He Was Involved In A Murder-For-Hire Plot [Yahoo! Sports]

'NFL Hall Of Famer-Turned-Pastor Aeneas Williams An Uplifting Voice In Troubled Times'[Sports Illustrated]

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Today's Anti-Trumpidote