via IMDB
"... She didn't say anything. She just walked in, she was wearing these little white painter pants and a blue t-shirt that she stole from me. She just, she started crying. ... You ever steal one of Paulie's t-shirts?"
"Constantly."
-- Hi, and welcome to the long-overdue return of the TV edition of Thoughts On! I can't promise I'll be as prolific as I once was, but I'm sure going to try.
-- Today's batch begins with its best episode, "A Pair of Hearts." It's the first of eight (and three in a row) directed by Tom Moore and written by Danny Jacobson. The Buchmans, Ira and Fran take advantage of a complimentary Atlantic City trip. Paul was right, there are strings attached*. The trip was arranged by casino hostess Marianne Lugasso (Cyndi Lauper, Emmy nominated for this episode). Marianne goes way back with Paulie and Ira. She taught Paul how to kiss and received two valentines from him in the fifth grade. She also was married to Ira for six months in 1973.
*I'm more charitable toward his paranoia. The last time I watched the episode, I thought Paul was coming across too Trumpian in his insistence on something that isn't exactly true.
-- Marianne's remarrying and relocating to Luxembourg and she needs Ira to make the divorce official. Paul is nervous about leaving Ira alone. Marianne played Ira like a yo-yo in high school (if she wasn't dating him, she was dumping him) before asking him to marry her. She also has the ability to "get guys to do things." Paul lost his learner's permit because he was driving Marianne at night. "And to this day, she still has my Three Dog Night albums." Paul and Jamie are interrupted by Fran, who still feels Mark's presence in her life. Meanwhile, Ira lets Marianne know he doesn't really despise her. He's got their wedding album in his wallet, but turns down one last fling. "We never did it with a mirror." "We never did it with a bed." Marianne responds by firing Lenny the bartender.
-- Ira and Jamie's scene when he returns to the suite is well-written and perfectly acted. This appears to be the moment where Jamie abandons most if not all of her baggage toward Ira. He explains how he and Marianne lived. "We'd spend the weekends living with my family, we'd live with her family during the week. Can you imagine you and Paulie living like that? "That's not even the kind of thing you should joke about." Marianne's family were nicer to Ira than his was to her. Anyway, Marianne decided on the marriage and the divorce. They did get "one more ride out of each other." Jamie doesn't want Ira to spend the night getting drunk alone. She gives him a shirt, in case he gets cold. "Tell me something: how come every time I meet a great girl, she's in love with my cousin?"
-- The Courtship of Ira and Fran: They're roommates and and on vacation ... "You and me having sex isn't going to help either of us." "Well, why don't we try it and hope that you're incredibly wrong?" After comparing notes about taking off wedding rings, Fran agrees. They make a deal not to tell Paul & Jamie**, who have resolved to never break up, ensuring each would always be taken care of.
**FORESHADOWING!
-- Second place goes to "Paul is Dead," directed by Emmy nominee Lee Shallat-Chemel and written by Billy Grundfest from a story he collaborated on with Russ Woody. On a nippy day, Paul doesn't want to join Jamie as she picks up her mother's watch and buys a bathmat and towels. He's waiting for the handyman regarding their refrigerator (see below), or was waiting until Jamie pouts and gets him to come for brunch at Riff's. While there, she insists they need a new bathmat and Ursula is directed to cut both of their credit cards. A visit to the "First ank of Manhattan" gets Paul's ATM card confiscated. Turns out there's several "Paul Buchman"s with accounts. One of them is dead and until the paperwork clears, our Paul (and Jamie, thanks to joint accounts) can't get access to his money. "I'm afraid you're both dead 'til Monday." "That's why I felt so tired."
-- The late Paul David Buchman is survived by his family, friends and dog. His obituary includes that he was a Shriner, but not a cause of death. In an episode full of black comedy, one of the better scenes is Jamie trolling Maggie. "You must be devastated." "Ah, easy come, easy go." "I beg your pardon." "Listen, you don't know any single men, do you?" "Single men?" "Ooh, eats! Fantastic, I have a date tonight. *crosses fingers and grabs the serving dish*" Lisa brings in a floral arrangement for the other Paul. "So long, old sailor." Our Paul figures the deceased was an elderly man who had a mahogany sailboat and would travel the world with the dog and his wife, Ellen. Not only that, but he drank, would get into fights and sing sea shanties to his wife while beating the crap out of others. Paul convinces Jamie to crash the funeral because the chapel's on the way to the bath store.
-- Our Paul is unsure how to sign the funeral guestbook. He and Jamie become "Leonard and Donna." The gregarious funeral director (Luis Antonio Ramos) offers to open the casket, observes that Jamie would have no problem remarrying after Paul's death and gives her a business card. Paul befriends Monty (Lenny Wolpe), a mourner who assumes he's Gladys' kid and wants to know how he and Donna are liking Toronto. "It's nippy but it's friendly, so we enjoy it there in Toronto." Monty's not much help when it comes to explaining the deceased. "He was Paul Buchman. He was one of a kind." "Dead" is a really well-crafted episode and following our Paul's imaginary funeral, complete with last kiss for Jamie ("Have a good life." "You too." "I did."), we get the punchline. The late Paul got out of his shower, slipped and broke his neck. "If only he had a bathmat."
-- In third place is "Same Time, Next Week," directed by Thomas Schlamme and written by Jeffrey Lane & Danny Jacobson. Paul's shooting his latest film in Chicago and will be gone for two months tops. Jamie can't come with him as she's preparing to go back to school. The rest of the episode takes place over the following eight weekends. Weekend #1: Jamie goes to lengths to keep Paul from knowing how eager she is to see him, but he's distracted by a lousy cab ride from the airport. Weekend #2: Jamie uses her hands to get her way. Paul shaves. Weekend #3: Lisa's staying with them because her windows were stolen. Lisa also reveals that Jamie said Paul's selfish in bed.
-- Weekend #4: A blizzard keeps Paul, who's been "getting great stuff," in Chicago. "The whole city's like a, like a Slurpee out there." Paul doesn't seem disappointed enough to Jamie. He called room service before her. The couple quickly make up, wish they couldn't be snowed in together and try having phone sex. Paul claims to be naked, Jamie claims to be wearing a blue nightgown he bought for her birthday, which he things she returned (this explains what she's wearing in "Hearts," I guess). "I'm kissing your knees." "What niece? I don't have a niece." Jamie gets a call from Sylvia. "Is he coming?" That takes Paul out of the moment, but things end romantically enough with Jamie putting the phone on his pillow. "Honey ... it's snowing."
-- Weekend #5: Paul and Jamie have sex by their front door. She thinks she got out of their seeing Sylvia by claiming Paul couldn't make it back. Sylvia ends up at the apartment, doing that passive aggressive thing she does so well. "What is it, you got lost?" "No, no, it's just the place was such a mess." "What else is new?" She also sums up her character perfectly. "I was born to bother." Paul manages to hide from his mother, ending up trapped on the fire escape as it starts to storm. Weekend #6: Paul arrives home as Jamie's engrossed in her reading. Weekend #7: They're having trouble remembering how to share their bed. Weekend #8: Paul finished the film ahead of schedule. Too bad Jamie decided to surprise him in Chicago. Lisa's in the apartment ... and so's Sylvia.
-- Let's go with "It's a Wrap" for fourth place. On the plus side, the Tom Moore-Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn episode's got a great performance by Helen Hunt. On the minus side, we've got the conclusion of the New York at Night saga. Lou wants three minutes cut from the hour-long movie. Jamie, meanwhile, is adrift. She's jobless and 30. Certain doors are closed. She's not going to swim in the Olympics. She'll never dance with Baryshnikov. "I don't have anything that tickles my little heart." Jamie, who's warming up for her life changes, decides to set up Fran and Lou. She just got her divorce papers and he's not gay. The Buchmans will go on the date, too.
-- While waiting at Riff's, Fran and Jamie discuss men they want to sleep with. Fran's choices are John Goodman, Mick Jagger and Joe Namath (because it would upset Mark). Jamie's are Bruce Springsteen, Tom Brokaw and Yannick Noah. Lou, wearing loud pants, comes from the executives screening of New York at Night. He reveals he cut a montage, something Paul doesn't take very well. Jamie suggests Paul steal the film back, which he ends up doing with Ira. In addition to Larry Miller, we've got another great character actor, Larry Hankin. He's Bob, an intimidating but ultimately duped (and able to be bribed) security guard. "*checks sign in* Well, thank you very much, Mr. Mantle."
-- Jamie and Fran discuss the former's future. No, Jamie shouldn't become a professional racquetball player. Jamie's going to love having kids ("It's just like being married, only they don't leave you so fast."), but she's not ready for that. Paul comes home to find Jamie with her old college stuff. It includes "New Haven," which is either a short story or a novel she couldn't finish. She wants to go back to school. She wants to find something she loves as much as Paul. It's a life decision and she's going to be as busy and crazed as she was when working, but if Jamie's happy, Paul's happy. "How many guys -- how many married men get to sleep with a pretty college girl?"
-- Finally, we've got "Edna Returns," which is as good as a Lisa-heavy episode can be, I guess. It's another Moore-Gordon & Conn. Anne Ramsay and Hunt are great together as usual. Watching the episode, though, makes me wish the writers would dig deeper into Lisa's apparent bohemian lifestyle. I mean, how many people don't have a job, a boyfriend or a pen, but do know two bulimics named Harriet and are aware of the Houston jazz scene? No spoilers, but I'd love to see if Lisa ever interacts beyond customer-waitress with Ursula. There's a meeting of the minds to be captured.
-- Lisa's excited because she's included in her shrink's new book, Manics. "Edna on the Road to Nowhere" includes a story from Lisa's youth. "Resentful of her mother's large breasts, Edna doused her brassieres with kerosene and ignited them." Lisa is proud to have the saddest chapter in the whole book. Jamie can't put it down, convinced their mom is the overbearing and suppressive Stella. Lisa reveals that no, Stella is Jamie. Paul's in the book, too, as Raúl, who has "a way about him." Jamie doesn't react well to this (she really does sound devastated) and vows never to speak to Lisa again.
-- A few days later, Lisa visits Paul for the first time at the studio, where he and Warren (in his last appearance) are working on a film about jazz musicians (I'm not sure if this is the same movie Paul's making in "Week"). "Hey, Warren." "Hi, Edna." "You read it?" "I read it out loud." "Me too!" "I thought that was you." Defensive -- she's sure "Sybil" had supportive family members -- Lisa asks to talk with Paul for a while. Jamie, who tried to get involved in Fran's problems, learns about the new friendship and informs Paul that there's always pieces to pick up with Lisa. The wacky world he's in causes Paul to shout for "Stella!" which Jamie doesn't like.
-- Naturally, the sisters make up. Lisa received too much Novocain at the dentist and can't move her tongue. She and Jamie both want to know if the other is sorry. Lisa, translated by Paul, reveals that she lies to her therapist and rambles. Half the time, the shrink's not even listening. And Lisa likes that Jamie is overbearing. "Of course. That way I can be under-bearing."
-- Today in Classic TV: Marianne didn't like All in the Family because Edith reminded her of her dad ("Hearts"). Paul invokes Hitchcock when defending a montage, causing Lou to retort about where is he today. "Nickelodeon. After Superman, before Dragnet. You can't miss him." Later, Paul wonders if he's on The Dating Game when Jamie tries to keep the date from being a disaster and declares "Baby, I'm the greatest." at the end of the episode ("Wrap"). Paul hears the title Manics and said it was successfully done years ago with Mike Connors ("Edna"). Searching for change, Paul comments on how even the Kramdens kept emergency money in the apartment ("Dead").
-- Hey, it's the '90s!: The computer animation used in establishing shots of the Felt Plaza ("Hearts"), Aye to Aye on Broadway*** ("Wrap"), the Everly Chapel and Funeral Home ("Dead") and, of course, Riff's, is endearingly primitive. Jamie hates Harry Connick Jr.'s "new one," which I think is referring to "A Wink and a Smile" from Sleepless in Seattle ("Dead")****.
***I'm not sure who's voicing the male lead, but that sounds like Ramsay as the woman.
****
-- The Total Waitress: Ursula is uncertain about whether Fran can get half a dinner salad, forgets to give Jamie a napkin, sets a fisherman's platter down at the table, thinks Paul and Jamie are new customers ("Wrap"), gives the check before the order is placed or menus are on the table, misunderstands Fran's order of "two coffees," asking "where?" ("Edna"), screws up the type of cheese for Jamie's order and refreshes Paul's coffee, except he was drinking tea ("Dead").
-- Fanservice Junction: The handsome guy at the ATM, who Jamie is checking out ("Why don't you just ask the man to take his pants off?") and who Paul imagines she's with now that she's a widow ("Dead"). Off-camera, but Paul filmed Jamie and Fran putting on their suntan lotion while at Jones Beach, which is footage Ira wants to see ("Wrap").
-- Great Moments in Not-Shilling: Lisa drinks "Sprit" and the Buchmans drink non-Tropicana orange juice ("Edna").
-- Money Talks: Ira marvels at (personally?) racking up $700 of complimentary services from the casino ("Hearts"). Jamie found a quarter and if she finds 17 more, either she or Paul can go to a movie. Lisa, uncomfortable with lending $20-$30, owes Paul and Jamie $600 ("Dead").
-- Continuity Corner: Fran's birthday is October 28, Paul's girlfriends included "Sherry Kleinman from King's Island" and Fran and Mark were married 10 years ("Hearts"). In four years of college, Jamie had two majors and seven boyfriends ("Wrap"). The Buchmans' landlord is Mel Wertzel and Hal & Maggie started a petition against Paul & Jamie ("Dead").
-- Before the Credits: Neither Paul nor Jamie know what he's looking for in the fridge ("Hearts"). Fran disrupts Aye to Aye with her crying ("Wrap"). Paul's upset about his chubby face ("Edna"). Paul and Jamie each have issues with the kitchen; he says the refrigerator hums and she says the floor slants ("Dead"). Jamie doesn't want Paul to go to Chicago ("Week").
-- Under the Credits: Paul and Jamie immediately accept an indecent proposal ("Hearts"). Paul argues with Lou over the phone about end credits .. the show's end credits ("Wrap"). Ursula shows up in the Buchmans' bedroom with menus ("Edna"). Paul agrees the floor is slanted and Jamie does hear the fridge hum, but she wants the audience to keep it a secret ("Dead"). Lisa and Sylvia listen in on the phone sex, with Sylvia saying Jamie will put her eye out ("Week").
-- Ratings Roundup: A range of 11.6 and eighth place for the evening (for "Hearts") to 14.6 and fourth place (for "Week"). For much of this batch, whenever MAY faced a new Simpsons episode, the latter one. "Edna Returns," for example, aired opposite "The Last Temptation of Homer." At midseason, CBS moved In the Heat of the Night and plugged in the filler How'd They Do That?
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