What are the odds that the rap music that Rainbow finds herself drawn to are the Beastie Boys??? I know its fairly unlikely, but it'd be pretty funny--heck they could've done an unlikely cross-over with The Goldbergs since they're both 80s era set! ("And that's when i met Barry Goldberg") ("No Rainbow, you're not supposed to know Barry Goldberg!!!") This is What's On for March 17th 2020 (Happy St. Pat's Day!)
8:00
NCIS (CBS): Rerun of the 2nd part of the show's season premiere with Ziva and Gibbs on the hunt for a terrorist and figuring out what said terrorist's aims are. (I'm gonna guess "to spread terror???")
Ellen's Game of Games (NBC): "Another Brick in the Taj Mah Wall" (That's Terrible Whomever is Titling These...That's Just Terrible!)
The Resident (FOX): Conrad finds himself caught between his duties as a doc and his loyalty to Kit when he discovers that her son in law may be suffering from a serious disease; Devon and Nic make a shocking discovery about a former patient. (Resident Fever!!! Catch It!!!)
The Conners (ABC): Darlene, desperate for money, gets a job at Price Warehouse; Jackie decides to take her "thruple" relationship to the next level; Ben shaves his beard in an attempt to appear more clean cut to advertisers. (Keep On Connerin' In the Free World You Guys)
The Flash (The CW): The Flash takes a dangerous turn fighting a new meta named Sunshine; Cisco sets out to help Nash with his problem. (Problem might be understating it, but sure lets go with problem)
Niall Ferguson's Networld (PBS): This deep dive into problems pertaining to the world of the internet does 3 back to back to back episodes tonight (Its like the equivalent of a PBS burn-off I guess) First up we got "Disruption" Social media's networks and how some ideas go viral and why truth itself can sometimes get lost in the fray of the numerous voices of the crowd. (Internet Fever!!! I prefer Resident Fever myself)
The Last Bridesmaid (Hallmark): In tonight's Hallmark Channel's Movie of the evening---"A single woman is the last of her various girlfriends to tie the knot." Starring Rachel Boston, and Paul W Campbell. (You can always lie and just say you did you know--who would find out otherwise???)
8:30
Bless This Mess (ABC): When the pastor in town starts giving out advice to people, Rip feels like her therapy practice is endangered so she sets out to shut the pastor up! (no i'm kidding on that last part, but clearly she's gonna do something she's gonna regret); Mike falls in love with a new truck and purchases it without telling Rio (but she's preoccupied anyways!) (Bless This Green Acres Reboot?)
9:00
FBI (CBS): Also a rerun tonight--this episode from October finds a husband and father kidnapped after getting involved in some illegal dealings and things going south for him. Can the FBI agents find him in time??? (I'm guessing yes????) (CBS! CBS! CBS!)
This Is Us (NBC): "After the Fire"---(Don't Turn Around--Uh-Ohh--Dar Commissar's In Town--Wuh-Ohh!!!) Um Randall reflects on what could have been. (Oh if only he hadn't turned around!!!)
Empire (FOX): Cookie continues to keep the secret from her sisters, but Luscious feels like she should come clean; When Treasure is unable to perform at the upcoming showcase showdown, Becky suggests that Yana take the spot but is she really ready to be the next contestant on the price is right??? (I would love to see an Empire/Price Is Right crossover honestly) ("Look My Man, my singers need to be showcased more on your show you know???")
Mixed-ish (ABC): Top Pick of the night goes to this sitcom which tonight features Rainbow clashing with her parents over her new found love of rap music; (!!!) Harrison steps in to take Denise to a charity benefit and helps her realize that she deserves better from the men in her life. ("Parents Just Don't Understand" is the name of the episode, and once again "The Goldbergs" did an episode based entirely around this very song when Barry and Adam tried to write a song parody of it called "Parents Do Just Understand")
Legends of Tomorrow (The CW): The Legends continue to hunt for pieces of the Loom of Fate and find themselves face to face with Shakespeare; Ray and Nora make another big life decision that leaves the team surprised. ("Romeo V Juliet--Dawn of Justness" is the title of the episode) (Is This Ray's Last Episode?!?!?!?) (Should this have been Top Pick??? I went with Mixed-ish cause it hadn't been it yet!)
Niall Ferguson's Networld (PBS): How the web shifted to a portable network controlled by a tiny elite. (nods)
Schitt's Creek (POP): The Roses attend an Escape Room version of David and Patrick's Bachelor party but their participation causes their personal dilemmas to come to a head. (Awww)
The Curse of Oak Island (History): The time to investigate the Uplands of Smith's Cave is quickly running out so Rick goes to extreme and dangerous measures to get answers. (He's gonna MacGyver this Curse of Oak Island!!!)
Chopped (Food): Poutine Cuisine---poutine and a jar of bamboo figure into tonight's challenges.
Moonshiners (Discovery): Tickle gets a life sentence to Mrs. Tickle. (His mother???)
Gomer Pyle (MeTV): When Gomer refuses to marry a movie star, she sets her sights to Sgt. Carter. (Look lady, neither of these eligible bachelors are particularly great choices here....I'm just saying)
9:30
Black-ish (ABC): Dre spirals when Rainbow is elected to the prestigious California Board of Medcine which comes with an invite to a huge fundraising gala, but said invite is addressed to Dr. Rainbow And Guest and Dre feels rather insecure about being labeled "and guest" for some reason; Meanwhile Diane redecorates her room to impress Mason. (The episode is titled "Best Supporting Husband")
Green Acres (MeTV): The Department of Agriculture wants to feature Oliver in a new documentary.
10:00
FBI Most Wanted (CBS): The lone new episode of the night on CBS goes to this spin-off show which tonight is about "A domineering man and his girlfriend embark on a multi-state kill spree; Jess worries that he's being left out of Tati's life when he finds out his daughter has already won an award at school" (Priorities Man!!!! You gotta stop this multi-state kill spree!!!!)
New Amsterdam (NBC): Max searches for a solution to crowfunding after his eye opening appearance in a viral Go Fund me video; Reynolds takes his last lap at the hospital; while Kepner helps a former patient deal with his new life as a quadriplegic. (Oh New Amsterdam--You've Become Much Too Much!)
For Life (ABC): While litigating on behalf on an inmate locked up on a robbery charge, Aaron is torn between doing what's right and what's best for his case; Marie recommits to Aaron's case; Saliya closes in on Foster's drug smuggling scheme. (Go For Life Go!) (I'm gonna start calling Aaron "For Life" now)
Niall Ferguson's Networld (PBS): Lessons from terrorism and surveillance abound as Niall explains how democracies face threats from forces that seek to exploit and weaponize social networks. (I almost wrote Webland instead of Networld--and thought I had another Elvis Costello song parody in me!) ("In Webland--Bum Bum Bum Bummmmm bum bum bum bum...In Webland")
Project Blue Book (History): Episode 9 is called "Broken Arrow" and if you can find the plot synopsis I would appreciate it as it wasn't provided by my cable guide!
Portals To Hell (Travel): It was pointed out to me last week that Jack Osbourne hosts this show! (What? It's A Living!) This week they visit a psych hospital in Weston West Virginia.
Tosh.0 (Comedy Central): This unkillable show returns for its 12th season tonight. (This Thing Has Been On For 12 Years?!?!?!? Good God Almighty!!!!) (Also i used to know a guy who was a writer for this--believe it or not they have a writing staff! I wonder if he's still there trying to pitch one liners) (Hey It's A Living!)
10:30
Miracle Workers-Dark Ages (TBS): Al and Prince Cauncley attend an astrology lecture while Eddie meets a new neighbor. (The episode is titled "First Date")
HAVE A GREAT SAINT PATRICK'S DAY--THO IT'LL CERTAINLY BE AN UNUSUAL ONE WHAT WITH THE BARS HERE IN NYC CLOSED DOWN AND WITH THERE BEING NO PARADE WHICH IS USUALLY CLOGS THE CITY ALL DAY! (THERE WAS ONE TIME I HAD TO GET ACROSS TOWN DURING THE PARADE AND IT WAS BRUTAL!!!! AHHH MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THESE!!!!)
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