Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie---(chuckles) ohhh Lizzie...this reminds me of this one time i found myself in the Nausican Valley which people will tell you isn't a real place, but let me tell you if you've got enough money and influence, anything is real---anyways i found myself floating in this oblong pool with a maitai in my hand and this really tasty blend of brie when suddenly i found myself besieged by dolphins on every side of me--i wasn't sure what they wanted but fortunately I figured out that I had wandered over into their territory and offered them my brie as tribute. The point is--never go anywhere without being willing to sacrifice something as tribute. This is What's On for March 20th 2020!
Streaming:
Netflix as usual has a bunch of crap--
Self Made: The Life of C.J. Walker: Octavia Spencer and Tiffany Haddish try to bring star power to this tale of a washer woman who rises from poverty to build a beauty empire and become the first female self made multi millionaire. (Girl Power???)
The English Game: about the invention of football--this being a British film tho its actually about the invention of soccer. (i am glad i knew to look that up!) I mean because that's what they call football over there right so naturally. Its created by Julian Fellows whom also created Downton Abbey--will this be the next big Brit thing to hit here??? (I'm thinking prob not.)
A Letter For the King: A young squire in training contends with ancient prophecies, magical powers, and fickle traveling companions as he sets out to save his kingdom. (This looks to be family friendly and has Andy Serkis and David Wenham in its cast among other Brits)
The Platform: A Spanish language film set in a prison where inmates on high floors eat better than inmates on lower floors who get the scraps, one prisoner sets out to change all that. (Its a social classes drama set in a prison?????)
Ultras: An Italian language film about an aging soccer fanatic who must face down the realities of his past while struggling to give himself a future worth having. (Richard Harris made a movie like this once)
Tiger King Murder, Mayhem, and Madness: True crime documentary about a zoo owner who spirals out of control amid a cast of eccentric characters in this true murder for hire story set in the world of cat breeding??? (They mean big cats like tigers and leopards--not house cats)
A Life of Speed-The Juan Manuel Fangio Story: Documentary about the Formula One race king who won five consecutive championships in the 50s before safety or protective gear was invented. (as good a reason as any to profile the man's life I guess)
Elsewhere--APPLE TV has the new Samuel Jackson/Anthony Mackie/ Nicholas Hault movie called "The Bankers" in which two of the three actors portray the very first African American bankers in the U.S. while using the third actor listed as a front for investors who might be nervous about investing all of their money in the hands of non white people. (This movie was originally supposed to come out back in December but got pushed back because the producer got accused of sexual harassment, but not the director--the director by the way George Nolfi had previously directed "The Adjustment Bureau" which i rather liked at the time)
Disney Plus has the last episode of the season of Diary of a Future American President as well as the last episode of the season of Marvel's Hero Project and a new episode of Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
Amazon meanwhile has a movie premiere of its own called "Blow The Man Down" which stars June Squibb, Annette O'Toole, and Sophie Lowe about a family in the town of Easter Cove, Maine where while grieving the loss of a loved one, two sisters have a gruesome run-in with a dangerous man and in order to conceal their crime travel into the dark underbelly of Easter Cove for assistance. (oook)
Broadcast:
8:00
MacGyver (CBS): CBS is again in rerun mode tonight because tonight was supposed to be March Madness so this is a rerun from last season where "Mac and co turn to dreaded nemesis Murdoc for help in trying to locate Murdoc's mentor who is going on a murder spree and the team would rather like to stop that" (If i remember right this had a pretty neat ending)
The Blacklist (NBC): Finally back on the schedule--they havn't aired since December---"Red and the Task Force track down a gifted art forger who has thwarted Red's plans to sell some stolen art pieces; Aram's love life suddenly becomes complicated; and Liz and Ressler confide in each other."
Shark Tank (ABC): A stylish and affordable mobile real estate concept; a snack in Indian roots; a portable solution to powering small tech devices; a new way to ensure safety while using tools; an update on apparel co. Bombas; and Robin Oza guest judges. (Shark Tank...Nothing but...Shark Tank...Them Crazy Shark Tank...oh how they sharrrrk)
Friday Night Smackdown (FOX): Once again...smackdowns...handed out, passed around, given down
Penn and Teller Fool Us (The CW): Once again another rerun filling in for missing in action Charmed (which is due back next week i think!)
RuPaul's Drag Race (VH1): Drag queen contestants must spark their creativity when they compete in a pageant of sports inspired couture and they strut the runway in 3 ball themed looks. (Strut!!!!)
Bunk'd (Disney): Lou is invited to a conference for camp directors where she must give a speech, but when Destiny is invited along to attend, trouble follows along as well. (nods)
Christmas Under Wraps (Hallmark): After moving to Alaska, an ambitious doc stars a new romance and learns that her small town is hiding a holiday season. (How do you hide a holiday???) Starring Candace Cameron Bure, David O'Donnell, and Brian Doyle Murray. (Hey what's he doing in this?)
8:30
Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (Disney): She dismisses Principal Swift's concern and accepts a babysitting gig with a special client on a vacation planet, but when Swift comes back--chaos reigns!
9:00
Hawaii 5-0 (CBS): Rerun of the season premiere that finds the team tasked with trying to stop an assassin from killing several mob bosses on the island. They seek help from Katrina Law in order to do so. Also Jerry leaves. (I wonder if Jorge Garcia would've still left the show if he knew that this was gonna end up being their last season!)
Dateline (NBC): The Valseca siblings lives are changed when their father is held hostage in an abduction.
20/20 (ABC): Meanwhile the other investigative show has "decades after the bodies of a woman and 3 children are discovered in New Hampshire's Bear Brook State Park, a podcast renews interest in the case" (But do they solve the case???)
Whose Line? (The CW): Two more reruns--this time filling in for Nu-Dynasty---both reruns are from last summer--one of which has Dynasty star Elizabeth Gilles, the other of which has Heather Ann Campbell. (nods)
Great Performances (PBS): TURANDOT--Puccini's final masterpiece is presented in full. (runs to 11:30)
Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives (Food): A century old staple serves up sandwiches made with a sweet treat in Garland; a Landmark spot is serving up some southern specialties in Oklahoma City; and a spot putting a healthy spin on a classic comfort food in Denver.
Gold Rush (Discovery): Parker prospects a claim owned by a tight knit family that has more gold than any claim he's ever seen in the Klondike before. (shrugs)
The Trade (Showtime): Magda and Rossni must split with their group to improve their chances of crashing; a woman who was sexually abused tries to expose a sex trafficking network; and Homeland Security officers follow a sex trafficking ring case in Ohio. (I wonder if the last two things are connected)
10:00
Blue Bloods (CBS): Rerun of the one where rowdy teens throw water balloons at a couple of rookies and Jamie and Frank argue over the best course of action to take as a response; Danny and Baez investigate a man who preys on the elderly; and Erin must admit to shortcomings. (Must???)
Strike Back (Cinemax): Wyatt and Norm reunite with Mac long after the incident in Munich, while living out a seemingly idyllic existence with his wife and daughter, Mac is haunted by his violent past and fears that his service was inadequate. (I'm sure it was more than adequate!!!!)
Portals To Hell (Travel): Fort William Henry--the site of a bloody massacre in Colonial America.
11:00
High Maintenance (HBO): The Guy delivers to an ASL interpreter Jordan who lands in an uncomfortable situation in a job at a high profile photo shoot; After Victor notices that his partner Ellen has a new habit, a secret blows up amid an already simmering tension.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND ONE AND ALL!!!!
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