Thoughts on The War of the Roses

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*Oliver (Michael Douglas) has tricked Barbara (Kathleen Turner) by pulling away the Japanese carving she outbid him for at the auction where they met as young people*

"Na na na na na na."

"You are a jerk."

"Tell you what: you say it's mine and you can have everything in this house."

"Okay. It's mine."

Comedy is not pretty. Divorce is not pretty. Comedies about divorce, I suppose, have the right to be as ugly as anyone can stand.

The War of the Roses lives up to its reputation as a high point in depicting low behavior. This is a movie where Christmas is ruined, fish is pissed on, a cat gets run over and a dog appears to have been eaten by his owner, countless personal items are destroyed and Barbara uses any means necessary, including biting his penis or removing his hand from her shoulder, to make it apparent that she no longer loves Oliver.

Directed by costar Danny DeVito and adapted from Warren Adler's novel by Michael Leeson, The War of the Roses might best be remembered for how rancorous Oliver and Barbara get. This latest viewing helped me appreciate both the time it took until all hell broke loose and how the couple's antics were contrasted with reactions from the people who care about them, like Gavin (DeVito).

One of the movie's best images comes at about 99 minutes in, just before the bit with the carving. Olvier has tricked Susan (Marianne Sägebrecht) the maid out of the house so he can continue fighting Barbara. Susan looks up, her point of view depicted in a Dutch angle. The Roses are staring at her from upstairs windows. It's a hot summer night, they've already had the paté and failed sexual interlude and quite frankly, the couple looks like the living dead.

"What's on your mind?"

"Well, since you're the one who, uh, advised Oliver to move back in, I thought you would advise him to move out." 

"Why? Sounds like you two have everything worked out, with the red areas and the green areas." 

"Gavin, ever since this thing started, I've had trouble sleeping. Most mornings, I wake up sobbing."

"I'm sorry. That's shitty."

"But this morning, I woke up screaming. And I couldn't stop. I need this to end. This has to end."

"I suggested selling the house."

"(cutting him off) No."

"Okay, you both seem to agree on that."

As longtime readers know, my parents are divorced. I still wish I'd have shown this movie to them when it was apparent they weren't going to reunite. I always wanted to say, "Okay, just don't do this." Anyway, I think it was smart of the movie to not spend too much time dealing with how the Roses' teenage children (Sean Astin and Heather Fairchild) are feeling. Like I said, Gavin and Susan are more than sufficient as the voices of reason. 

Plus, I think more time with the kids would add more weight to the divorce, which would keep us from enjoying the destruction. Let's face it, there is a visceral thrill in watching Oliver and Barbara throw things, or when she crushes his Morgan (with him in it) with her big-ass truck.

The War of the Roses has three great performances. DeVito is solid as Gavin, perhaps his least showiest role ever. Douglas has never been a favorite of mine. I think he comes across as smug, particularly in the movies he made between 1987-1997. That said, I can admit Douglas is excellent as Oliver. Talk about a role that turned minuses into pluses.

"Have you ever made angry love?"

"Is there any other way?"

In the end, though, I have to give my crown to Turner. She's nothing short of amazing playing the complicated Barbara. Similar to the movie she's in, Barbara can be measured by more than mayhem.

"Fact is, Susan, I don't need a live-in. ... This was my husband's suggestion. I mean, I have raised two kids on my own and now they're about to go off to college. They were both accepted at Harvard. ... Thanks. So, anyway, it will just be Oliver and me here at home. Although I am getting going my own catering business, but let's face it, I mean, I don't need to work, not for the money. And that does not necessarily make me one of these women who's married to a successful man, and, uh, has dedicated her life to him and her children and then finds herself desperately trying to validate herself as a human being because her children are about to leave her by studying photography or opening an art gallery or going into interior design in her husband's office. No. ... I have a wonderful house, crammed with beautiful things. I did this house myself. I did a great job. Not that I am necessarily a slave to materialism. But I am proud of what I have accomplished, although I suppose some people would find my life disgusting. No, disgusting is too strong a word, no. I would say that not many people would respect the choices that I have made, although women would. Women like me. But then I don't care what they think, because I can't stand who they are. What I'm trying to say, Susan, is that I don't need a live-in. ... I would like you to understand that if I were to hire you, my life would probably change. It would be this new element in the house. ... Well. Let me show you where your room is."

Recommended.

Thoughts:

-- "Never, never apologize for being multi-orgasmic."

-- Okay, let's talk about Benny not being killed after all. It's a cop-out, yes, but I can understand why it happened. We the audience know Oliver killed Kitty Kitty by accident, even if Barbara doesn't know that. Killing an animal on purpose is likely less acceptable to an audience than killing one by accident. And, of course, society is biased toward dogs.

-- Box Office: Grossing nearly $87 million on a $26 million budget, this opened at No. 1, remained in the top three for more than a month and came in at No. 12 for 1989.

-- Awards Watch: This received Golden Globe nominations but no wins for the movie itself, Douglas and Turner. I think Turner, as well as Ida Random's production design, deserved Oscar nominations

-- So, do you think the Roses are real? When I first saw the movie, I thought so. This last viewing made me wonder if Gavin's would-be client (Dan Castellaneta) was a friend of Cousin Paulie. You remember, the "total loser" who still got to stay in his house? Anyway, Janet Maslin felt the scenes in Gavin's office played like "an extended set-up for a punchline (but) the payoff never comes."

-- Critic's Corner: "It promises to take the gloves off, and it delivers," Maslin wrote. At the same time, she felt it's "never fully certain just how satirical or serious it means to be." Roger Ebert found the movie envelope-pushing: "Its ferocity threatens to break through the boundaries of comedy -- to become so unremitting we find we cannot laugh." Peter Travers, Rolling Stone: "DeVito triumphs by instilling this caustic satire with truth and consequence."

-- "My father used to say, 'There are four things that tell the world who a man is: his house, his car, his wife and his shoes.'" Such an old-school sentiment and yet, there's more than a little truth to it.

-- Surprisingly, The War of the Roses did not come up during Turner's Random Roles interview with Nathan Rabin. Romancing the Stone did. "I don't know if Michael knew (how great the chemistry was) or not. I just knew that we were a great team. We were a great partnership, both in how we complemented each other, and how we enjoyed each other. That kind of enjoyment always comes through." I loved Stone and this movie, so now I'm curious if I'll like The Jewel of the Nile when I (hopefully) see it in December.

-- What Could Have Been: "Douglas and Turner ... seem more and more like the Tracy and Hepburn of the '80s," People wrote in 1989. Alas, after Roses, Douglas and Turner wouldn't act together for 30 years. Is her appearance in The Kominsky Method worth watching the episode for?  

-- One last scene from a marriage: The house I grew up in was falling apart by the time of my parents' split. Like Dad and Mom, who are remarried and receiving alimony respectively, it got a happy-enough ending. After renovations, it now serves as a group home.

-- "Some story, huh? What's the moral? Other than dog people should marry dog people and cat people should marry cat people."

-- Next: She-Devil. On deck: Driving Miss Daisy.