Infinite Pest And Other Friday Headlines

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D.C. Mayor Bowser Is Defending Michael Bloomberg [DCist]

'Corey Lewandowski And The Mystery Of The Dogfaces That Didn't Bark' [Wonkette]

Fine, I'll Give John Kelly A Cookie For Finally Saying Something But It'll Be From The Box Of Trefoils That's Been Sitting In The Back Of The Cabinet For Five Years [The Bulwark]

Malt Liquor Matt Also Has A MAC Habit [Rolling Stone]

Lou Dobbs Did His Part In Pretending To Be Outraged By Bill Barr's Faux Upset Over Twitler's Twittering [The Daily Beast]

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The Girl Scout Cookie Championship Might Be More Interesting If They Took A Page From Wednesday Addams And Had To Include An Actual Girl Scout In The Ingredients [Reality Blurred]

Live Action Aladdin Is Getting A Sequel [The Hollywood Reporter]

A 104-Year-Old Veteran Has Received Tens Of Thousands Of Valentine's Day Cards [Good News Network]

Bosch Will End After Its Next Season [The A.V. Club]

Liev Schrieber Is Hinting That Ray Donovan Isn't Completely Dead Yet [People]

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David Foster Wallace Was Apparently Not  An Awesome Person [The New Republic]

Russell Crowe Wants To Lose His Roger Ailesesque Figure [Page Six]

I Am Here For Michael Kors' Fall 2020 Collection [Tom & Lorenzo]

Is A Best Chris Now A Best Married Chris? [Pajiba]

Best Furball Shelter Friends Dwight And Conan Were Reunited Thanks To A Kindhearted Adopter [The Dodo Via MSN]

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The Celtics Will Retire Kevin Garnett's Number [NBA]

The Astros Sign-Stealing Scandal Is Getting The Podcast Treatment [The Hollywood Reporter]

The Astros Are Also Denying Another Conspiracy Theory About The 2019 Season [Yahoo! Sports]

Major Layoffs At Yahoo! Sports [Awful Announcing]

Tiger's Quote-Unquote Tribute To Kobe [Sports Illustrated]

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Today's Anti-Trumpidote - REBEL