Yeah that rhyme kinda got away from me a bit--- This is What's On for Friday January 17th 2020!
Streaming:
Amazon has the much hyped new movie Troop Zero (which kinda looks like a millennial version of Troop Beverly Hills except its Oscar winner Viola Davis instead of Shelley Long for some reason) (Does that make Jim Gaffigan the Craig T Nelson of the film???) From the writer of Beasts of the Southern Wild, the film features McKenna Grace who played the young Tonya Harding in I, Tonya, as the main trooper and also features Allison Janney as the resident snob who doesn't think these young girls are fit or posh enough (or something enough) to be ideal super troopers. (shakes head) Other offerings also from Amazon this week include new comedy specials from Rob Delaney and Russell Peters
Netflix meanwhile has the 2nd season premiere of "Sex Education" which was that show that stars Asa Butterfield as a high school student whose mom is a sex therapist played by Gillian Anderson (SCULLYYYYYY) and for some reason (to raise his social status???) decides to set up his own underground sex therapy clinic to deal with his classmates problems in the sexual area. (Sexual Area would make a good band name---How is there not a band out there with that name?!?!?!?)
Also on Netflix is a new Dutch horror series called "Ares" in which Dutch students in Amsterdam accidentally open a portal to a demonic world. (sure makes sense!) and the 4th season of something called "Hip Hop Evolution"
Meanwhile CBS All Access has the premiere of a new animated version of Lassie as well as a new animated version of George of the Jungle. (I'm just now realizing that all the Saturday morning cartoons have all officially migrated to online streaming now--the kidz today will never know the joy of getting up early on Saturdays to find wall to wall cartoons for hours at a time! Even I in the early 90s knew that joy!)
Meanwhile HULU has a new Canadian sci-fi series called Endlings (that's endLings--i highlight the L in the middle of the word here cause every time i tried to google it, google kept thinking i was trying to look up Happy Endings as opposed to a tv show called "Endlings") "Four foster kids make a discovery that could have disastrous ramifications as well as portend the end of the universe"
Disney Plus has a new show premiering called "Diary of a Future President" which is about a 12 year old Cuban American girl navigating the ups and downs of junior high while simultaneously being the President in the future. (Ok) Gina Rodriguez (aka Jane the Virgin herself) plays her mom! She's also an executive producer. (Disney Plus also has the usual new weekly episode of "World According To Jeff Goldblume" and "Marvel's The Hero Project"
Lastly Apple TV has a brand new anthology show premiering tonight called "Little America" Exec produced by Kumail Nanjiani and his wife Emily V Gordon this anthology show wants to be "a heartfelt and humorous look at some of the lives of working American immigrants today" Apple also has the very first season finale of M. Night Shyamalan's series "The Servant" (is this the episode where a twist is revealed???)
Broadcast: (Finally)
Hawaii 5-0 (CBS): CBS is once again in rerun mode tonight--in this episode from last February we have "The 5-0 team is assigned to protect a serial killer from an assassin in the middle of a hurricane." (I. Love. This. Plotline)
Lincoln Rhyme--The Hunt for the Bone Collector (NBC): Lincoln and Amelia try to find a killer inspired by Greek mythology who is live streaming his murders; Meanwhile The Bone Collector (Can i call you Bone?) is preparing a terrifying gift to celebrate Lincoln's return to work. (Awww, he missed Lincoln!) (Also so this show is basically copying the format of Hannibal with the two leads trying to find a new serial killer each week while the serial killer who's in the title of the series is out there doing things and leading his life) (sighs)
American Housewife (ABC): Returning with a new episode tonight is this sitcom where "When Anna Kat begins exhibiting past OCD behaviors once again, Katie and Greg worry about their busy schedules disrupting the family; Oliver fields a phone call at the Teen Help Line that freaks him out quite a bit" (Is it a call from The Bone Collector by any chance??? Apparently he has some free time since he's not gonna be apprehended just yet)
Friday Night Smackdown (FOX): Once again Smackdowns are handed out, taken down, and passed around. (nods)
Charmed (The CW): In what probably should be my Top Pick one of these Fridays--this show also returns to the regular Friday night schedule with new episodes with "Maggie and Mel make a startling discovery that turns their world upside down; Macy's chance encounter with a safe space investor takes an unexpected turn" (I think that's why i didn't make it Top Pick, its too generic a description tonight--what am i supposed to say? Charmed Makes A Startling Discovery???)
Bunk'd (Disney): When Lou discovers the diary of a camp founder, Jedediah Swearengen--she is shocked to learn that her personal hero was actually a traitor. (Ok if they're gonna just straight up copy old Simpsons episodes, the least they could do is change the first name of the hero turned traitor--oh wait they changed one letter, so nevermind then!)
Winter Castle (Hallmark): Hallmark Movie of the Night is this one where a woman goes to a wedding and hits it off with the best man but the best man has a plus one, and yada, yada, yada....love
8:30
Fresh Off the Boat (ABC): Jessica lands her dream job as a private school dean; Eddie and Emery teach Evan the hard way that it is ok for the brothers to each have their own thing going on at school. (nods)
Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (Disney): Gabby is aghast that Wesley has been recording info in his journal detailing the aliens that he and Gabby have been baby sitting which is kind of a big red no-no. (shrugs) (I mean like if i were writing this episode, I guess i'd have Gabby trying to first steal it and then talking to him about how much of a violation of privacy this is when she inevitably fails in her attempt to steal it)
9:00
Magnum PI (CBS): In this rerun from March, Mags goes undercover as a doctor on a dating app when it appears as if a killer is praying on wealthy men on this specific dating app. (Well it is an app called "Killer Dates" hahaha!!!) (why aren't you laughing???)
Dateline (NBC): A woman confesses to a childhood memory that leads to the re-opening of an investigation into the unsolved murder of an Iowan bartender named Corey Wieneke.
20/20 (ABC): Not to be outdone but 20/20 has the disappearance of a couple preparing to sell the yacht that they had been living on in order to move closer to their new grandchildren. (I'm gonna guess the grandchildren's parents disappeared them in order to keep this from happening! Just a wild shot in the dark. I'm largely kidding, but who knows with real life murder cases)
Dynasty (The CW): Blake's endless trial continues on as Alexis shocks the jury with her testimony; Fallon returns to the courthouse to find her mother has returned. (Well yeah her mother was featured in the very last sentence!) (Oh right this show is also returning to the Friday night schedule tonight after a good month or so--no wonder the trial feels like its taking forever--they literally took an entire month off right in the middle of it!)
Country Music (PBS): Part 3 of this Ken Burns Doc airs tonight--and tonight was the one that was centered around Hang Williams aka "Hillbilly Shakespeare" (I didn't call him that, that's the title of Part 3 of this doc series!)
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives (Food): A place that stacks sandwiches with duck and pork; a taco place that serves up oxtail; and a cider house that adds their specialty drinks into their entrees such as a batch of fiery apple wings; and a lamp French Dip sandwich. (That actually sounds great!)
Hopelessly In Love (Lifetime): This reality show chronicles the relationship between on Anna Nicole Smith and one Larry Fortensky. (Why????)
Gold Rush (Discovery): Something happens with people in mines!
Gomer Pyle (MeTV): A nightclub owner is determined to get Gomer to sing in his nightclub every night.
9:30
Green Acres (MeTV): Lisa manages to maneuver Oliver into a romantic honeymoon in Hawaii.
10:00
Blue Bloods (CBS): And capping off the night of reruns here is this ep from November of 2018 (!!!!) where "When a video surfaces of a group of people being harassed by a group of people at a housing complex, Frank orders a raid to round up anyone with an outstanding warrant against Garrett's advice, and soon finds himself embroiled in a media imbroglio" (Google defines Imbroglio as "an extremely confused, complicated, or embarrassing situation") (I'm sure this'll all work out just fine--its TV!)
Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO): Returning to the air after nearly two months off Maher welcomes guests Nancy Pelosi (!!!); Andrew Yang, Joe Walsh (not the musician sadly), Jon Meacham (he used to be on CBS!), and Kara Swisher. (While i'm glad the show is back, I'm really only including this here because i feel like something else should go in this hour so that a rerun of Blue Bloods isn't the only thing listed as being on in the 10 o'clock hour)
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND YOU GUYS!!! ITS SUPPOSED TO SNOW HERE SATURDAY EVENING SO I'M NOT REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT BUT ON THE OTHER HAND ANY EXCUSE TO WATCH MORE TV IS ONE WORTH TAKING!
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