Hey-o...This is what's on for Friday January 31st 2020 (Last day of January already...how did that happen???)
Streaming:
Bojack Horseman (Netflix): The last round up of episodes of this show premieres tonight.
Ragnarok (Netflix): Also premiering on Netflix tonight is a new series set in Norway centered on a legendary superhero who comes back to battle pollution and melting glaciers (???) Its apparently a coming of age story, and not something connected to the Marvel character at all (but I mean clearly the makers of the show as well as Netflix are hoping several people confuse it with being a Marvel property)
Unauthorized Living (Netflix): Also Netflix has the 2nd season premiere of this Spanish language drama about "A Galician drug lord who hides his Alzheimer's diagnosis reveals plans to retire, but his second-in command plots to steal his empire out from under him" (Ok, but what happens in its 2nd season??? Is the 2nd in command still planning on stealing the empire here or what?)
Itaewon Class (Netflix): This Korean language drama set in a colorful Seoul neighborhood--an ex con and his friends fight a mighty foe to make their dreams become a reality. (That could mean anything!!!) (I guess its a Korean Mean Streets???)
Taylor Swift: Miss Americana (Netflix): An officially approved documentary taking a look at the singer's life as she puts on a concert and blah. (If its officially sanctioned, i'm sure that must mean its good surely!)
37 Seconds (Netflix): Lastly the streaming service offers up this Japanese language drama about a young woman who longs to be a Manga artist but she's also battling Cerebral Palsy. (I believe its supposed to be an inspirational drama)
Broadcast:
8:00
Hawaii 5-0 (CBS): Soon after Danny meets the girl of his dreams, the two of them get into a car accident in an area far from help; McGarrett asks Tani and Quinn for help when his dog Eddie suddenly shows signs of PTSD. (Awww Poor Doggo)
Lincoln Rhyme and the Hunt for the Bone Collector (NBC): When a young woman from an insular Russian community who witnesses a murder comes to Lincoln and Amelia for help, the case takes a shocking turn when the mysterious murder is linked to a cold case; The Bone Collector's secret is discovered. (What could the secret of the Bone Collector possibly be at this point??? That he doesn't actually collect bones???)
American Housewife (ABC): Katie is determined to help Ana Kat win top prize in cookie sales against her fellow troop members, The Wildflower Girls; Oliver's attempt to help a student he befriends thru the Teen Help Line Center backfires. (Remember the first rule of selling cookies---Always Be Cookie!!!!)
Friday Night Smackdown (FOX): Smackdowns are once again given out, handed down, and yes, passed around. (Why this happens every single week is never really explained tho--its just a natural phenomenon of our time)
Charmed (The CW): When Harry comes down with a mysterious illness, Macy, Mel and Abigael must work together to save his life; Jordan and Maggie embark on a dangerous mission in New Orleans. (The episode is titled "Dance Like No One Is Watching")
Bunk'd (Disney): To help the campers stay cool during a heat wave, Lou finally breaks down and buys the camp a shaved ice machine. (Do they not have air conditioning as well???)
Love To the Rescue (Hallmark): Your Hallmark Channel Movie of the Night is this one where "2 single parents find themselves competing for the same dog as a school pet adoption function." (Ok??? I mean plenty of dogs to go around) Starring Nikki DeLoach and Michael Rady.
8:30
Fresh Off the Boat (ABC): Jessica finds herself overwhelmed by a heartbroken Evan who wants to spend more time with her; Emery announces his newfound veganism and faces the wrath of both Louis and Eddie. (Louis I can understand because he literally owns an operates a steakhouse! Meat is how he makes his living and provides for his family!)
Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (Disney): When Jeremy the alien accidentally sneezes on Gabby, his mucous causes Gabby to become super smart and Gabby then tries to best arch rival Susie in a math showdown. (Oh That Old Sitcom Plotline!!!) (Alien Mucous Causes Someone To Become Super Smart---Why has no one ever done this before?!?!?!?)
9:00
Magnum P.I. (CBS): When Jin learns that an innocent woman is the target of a deadly hit, he asks Mags and Higgins to keep tabs on her and help save her life. (Wasn't this already the plotline of an episode this season??? No I'm serious, there was an episode back in like October where Jin who was a pickpocket steals someone's cell phone which receives a text from someone threatening to kill the owner and he enlists Magnum to find said owner---how can they repeat a plotline they've acted out this season???) (Well its completely different Matthew you see for one thing....)
The Road to F9--Fast and Furious Fan Fest (NBC): A live concert event celebrating the Fast and Furious franchise featuring performances by Cardi B, Wiz Khalifa, Charlie Puth, Ozuna, and Ludacris. Plus a sneak peak at F9! (This is the kinda thing that would've aired during the Fred Silverman era of NBC isn't it--RIP Fred Silverman--NBC is unintentionally honoring your legacy tonight with this special saluting the greatest franchise of the past decade!) (Marvel Who Now???)
20/20 (ABC): A 2 hour look at Ted Bundy (shudders) (WHYYYYY) This prolific serial killer and his killing spree captivated the nation for 2 decades. (Suddenly that Fast and the Furious special is looking better and better!)
Dynasty (The CW): With Alexis back in the picture (when was she was ever out of the picture???), Blake tries to comfort Crystal while working to reestablish himself post trial; Fallon decides to expand her empire, and seeks help from Culhane; Sam's love life continues to heat up; and Kirby and Adam form an unlikely friendship. (This episode is poetically titled "A Wound That May Never Heal" which once again much like last week's episode is waaaayyyy too good a title for it to be wasted on an episode of Nu-Dynasty)
Country Music (PBS): Episode 5 of the Ken Burns documentary series gets rerun tonight with "Song and Daughters of America 1964-68" Loretta Lynn, Merle Haggard, and Charlie Pride reflect a changing America in the mid 60s. (nods)
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Diners (Food): In Ottowa a chicken joint that puts a special ingredient in its Rottisserie; in Burlington VA, a place that smokes its own wings (doesn't every place do that? I guess not); and am authentic Texas style BBQ spot in Richmond VA. (I'm gonna name my daughter Rottisserie, of course I'd have to figure out how to spell it first) (Rottisserie Stechel--Its got a nice ring to it right?)
Gomer Pyle (MeTV): He dreams that Sgt. Carter proposes to Bunny. (NOOO Sgt Carter--Don't You Do It--Shazam!!!)
10:00
Blue Bloods (CBS): Frank must uncover the truth when an undercover officer accuses a fellow cop of police brutality; Danny and Baez investigate the murder of a famous photographer recently accused of assault by his former models; Erin struggles to protect a witness before testifying at a murder trial. (CBS? CBS? CBS?)
Dateline (NBC): A Texas mom named Heidi Broussard is abducted and murdered and one of her closes friends is charged with both crimes. (Dateline gets to the bottom of this I'm sure)
Ghost Loop (Travel): A historic home in Clear Springs Maryland is investigated for paranormal activity. Will any be found??? I'm guessing probably!
9 Lives of Christmas (Hallmark): I wasn't gonna list the 10 o'clock Hallmark movie but the synopsis made me smile so "A veterinary student and a stray cat challenge a fireman's commitment to life as a bachelor" (The stray cat challenges the fireman's commitment to being a bachelor????) Starring Brandon Routh (!!!), and Kimberly Sustad (I don't know who that is)
Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO): Pete Buttigieg, Mitch Landrieu, Rick Wilson, Mike Sherill (shrugs) Mayor Pete tho???
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