Hi Everybody (studio audience erupts with wild applause!) (Matthew stands onstage silently waiting for the sounds of clapping and cheering to die down) CBS! CBS! CBS! (Wooooooooooooooo) (takes bow) (end credits roll) Here's What's On TV for December 12th 2019
8:00
Young Sheldon (CBS): Sheldon fakes being sick to avoid a swim test at school; Dr. Sturgis spies on Meemaw's new boyfriend. (I don't know which one of these plotlines I like more honestly--but I'm gonna opt for the one that pits Wallace Shawn against Craig T Nelson. How have the 2 of them never worked together before?!?!?!? Unless Wallace guest starred on an episode of Coach maybe??? Its not impossible--He guest starred on a lot of shows in the 90s!) (also the episode is called "Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib")
Ellen's Greatest Night of Giveaways (NBC): This three night event wraps up the giveaways--and really they CAN'T ALL be the greatest night right?!?!?!? Anyways tonight's special guests include Jason Momoa AND Justin Timberlake (In fact the episode is even titled "Jolly Ol' St. Timberlake")
Olaf's Frozen Adventure (ABC): Dear Mr, Network TV Viewer, I have taken ABC hostage and there is nothing you can do about it. Sincerely, The Snowman
Thursday Night Football (FOX): NY Jets vs Baltimore Ravens (J-E-T-S--ohh i can't even pretend to be excited here)
Supernatural (The CW): Sam, Dean, and Castiel's continued search for a way to defeat Chuck/God leads them to some unexpected places and towards an unlikely ally or allies.
Christmas Unleashed (Lifetime): A missing dog leads exes Becca and Max on a search that brings back fond memories of Christmas pasts that they spent together. Starring Vanessa Lachey and Bethany Brown and Christopher Russell. (shrugs)
8:30
The Unicorn (CBS): Wade and his friends are excited when he has his first crush since becoming single; Grace and Natalie take advantage of their dad going on dates by having friends over. (Is the show just gonna be Walton Goggins having various crushes on people now? Cause i could see that as a show!)
Toy Story That Time Forgot (ABC): This Is The Dawning Of The Age Of The Toy Stories, Age of the Toy Stories, Age of the Toy Storieeeeeeesssss TOY STORRRRIIIIEEEESSSS. (I had actually forgotten that they had a Christmas special--i thought it was only Halloween they had, although i feel like there's probably another holiday special they have that i'm forgetting about)
Christmas Carols with Lucy Worsley (PBS): This hourlong special examines the history of Christmas Carols and whether they were in fact created to lure locals out of pubs and into churches, and why that Silent Night song swept nations the world over in its day. (Silent Night: The original Gangnam Style)(Heeyyyy Sanntaaa Claaauuuusss Now)
9:00
Mom (CBS): Bonnie is forced to relive painful Christmas memories when Christy recounts tales from her childhood to Bonnie's sponsee. (On the one hand its nice that Bonnie is sponsoring someone for AA, on the other hand, are these things you really wanna hear about your sponsor? I honestly wouldn't know!) (Oh right the episode is titled "Higgledy Piggledy And A Cat Show") (ooh)
Superstore (NBC): Jonah and Sandra represent the employees at union contract negotiations with corporate; Amy, Dina, and Cheyenne distract themselves by looking for the perfect Christmas tree; Mateo, Garrett and Glenn compete to see who can sell an unsellable item. (Is this everyone in the show's regular cast? I think so! Huzzah Superstore Team--You did it! You found plotlines for everyone in your regular cast!)
The Great American Baking Show: Holiday Edition (ABC): If you like baking shows....and you like holdays...then have i got two full hours for you tonight! (shrugs) Well i tried to sell it here ABC.
Legacies (The CW): Hope joins forces with an unlikely ally to take down a Christmas monster who's using holiday cheer to infiltrate the Salvatore School; Landon surprises Rafael with news about his family lineage; Sebastian accompanies Lizzie on her latest mission. (The episode is titled "The Christmas Was Surprisingly Violent" hence Top Pick) (That's all it takes to get a Top Pick these days??? An amusing title???) (Well that and its the only Thursday regular that hadn't yet been Top Pick) Merry Christmas Legacies.
Forged In Fire: The 12 Cuts of Christmas (History): For some reason this is 3 hours! (nods) Happy Forging Everybody!
Naked and Afraid (Discovery): A U.S. Navy vet and a military man takes on the harsh Mexican island of Cavo Venado, terrifying sounds strike fear into the hearts of a jittery duo in Belize, 2 survivalists are in for a big twist in the Amazon jungle. (If the military man is found dead, does that mean that NCIS agents have to go investigate--cause if so, i just thought of a great plot for a new NCIS episode!)
Santa's Baking Blizzard (Food):
Alaskan State Troopers (Nat Geo)
9:30
Carol's Second Act (CBS): Carol plans an early Christmas celebration for Jenny, but Jenny is pre-occupied with her secret first date with Daniel; the docs investigate the case of food poisoning at an office holiday party. (The episode is titled "Merry December the 19th" which would seem to indicate that the people who made this thought it would be airing next week and not this)
Perfect Harmony (NBC): When Rev. Jax is visited by his charismatic parents; Arthur helps him overcome his lifelong feelings of living in their shadow in time for their Christmas performance; Meanwhile Ginny and Wayne decide to have a secret fling. (Which one is Wayne again--is he Ginny's ex husband or is he the guy with the really deep voice?)
Il Voto: Ten Years (PBS): Concert from Matera, Italy.
Project Runway (Bravo): Designers must create a fresh take on a timeless classic, animal prints taking inspiration from the new movie "Cats"; the designers must take their prints to create stylish looks that can compete on the runway and in the Flash sale challenge. (The episode is titled "Cats of the Urban Jungle") (Also The Flash sale challenge just makes me think of The Flash trying his best to sell people things--probably clothes--I bet The Flash could be a good salesman if he put his mind to it!)
Green Acres (MeTV): Oliver gives Lisa the impression that he doesn't want a surprise birthday party. (...and the twist is that he does?!?!?!?)
10:00
Evil (CBS): The trio (Kristen, David, and Ben) are called to investigate an insidiously addictive Christmas song that's spreading among an increasing number of students. (The episode is titled 7 Swans A Singin' and I rather like this idea for a Christmas themed episode) (Merry Christmas Evil! May your Yueltide be---Knievel?!?!?!?)
A Legendary Christmas with John and Chrissy (NBC): I never thought I'd ever say this but Please Bring Back SVU Reruns!
Carbonaro Effect (Tru TV): Micahel works in a spice shop and gets the icy treatment with his take on chili flakes; At a hotel Michael cleans up a spill with his phone; At an abandoned house Michael amazes his assistant when he climbs thru a wormhole. (?!?!?!?!?)
Holzer Files (Travel): Infamous Barnstable House in Cape Cod Mass.
A Christmas In Tennessee (Lifetime): A baker unites the people of her small mountain town to resist when a real estate developer's plan to build a ski resort threatens peoples' livelihoods. Starring Rachel Boston, Andrew Walker, Patricia Richardson, and Caroline Rhea. (nods)
NETFLIX HAS A NEW CHRISTMAS SPECIAL FROM JACK WHITEHALL TRAVELS WITH MY DAD. (shrugs) I'M JUST LISTING IT HERE PEOPLE!!!
HAVE A GOOD THURSDAY!
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