Saturday Night Live, "Host: Eddie Murphy" (via Giphy) |
💻 STREAMING / EARLY PRIMETIME
12 Pups of Christmas 🎥🎄 (Ion, 7 p.m.): Struggling to keep his dog GPS locator company afloat, Martin expects his new hire, Erin, to help him save the company....... and find homes for 12 puppies that were left behind after a photo shoot. That's what women do!
Christmas Love Letter 🎥🎄 (Lifetime, 7 p.m.): When a relationship advice columnist receives an unsigned love letter in a Christmas card (a Christmas card!), she returns to her hometown to solve the mystery of who sent it, and maybe... just maybe!... find true love. MAYBE.
Columbo 📺 (Cozi TV, 7 p.m.): Smarmy TV chef Martin Landau and his identical twin brother, a rigidly proper banker, are suspects in the electrocution of their rich uncle. Later, the formula for a miracle wrinkle cream leads cosmetics company founder Vera Miles to murder. Columbo has his hands full.
Doctor Who 📺 (Retro TV, 6 p.m.): It's "Death to the Daleks" when the Daleks and a human expedition both arrive on the planet Exxilon to seek a mineral found in abundance there. I like it.✔️Christmas Love Letter 🎥🎄 (Lifetime, 7 p.m.): When a relationship advice columnist receives an unsigned love letter in a Christmas card (a Christmas card!), she returns to her hometown to solve the mystery of who sent it, and maybe... just maybe!... find true love. MAYBE.
Columbo 📺 (Cozi TV, 7 p.m.): Smarmy TV chef Martin Landau and his identical twin brother, a rigidly proper banker, are suspects in the electrocution of their rich uncle. Later, the formula for a miracle wrinkle cream leads cosmetics company founder Vera Miles to murder. Columbo has his hands full.
Top Elf (Nickelodeon, 7 p.m.): FINALE. This Nickelodeon competition series gets its finale, which features Pete Wentz as a guest judge, dumped on a Saturday night.
FOR THE RECORD: Chocolate (Netflix, 3 a.m.); Criminal Confessions (Oxygen, 6 p.m.); Homicide for the Holidays (Oxygen, 7 p.m.); Overhaulin' (MotorTrend, 3 a.m.)
🕗 EASTERN / 🕖 CENTRAL
Christmas Hotel 🎥🎄 (Lifetime, 8 p.m.): A Christmas movie starring black actors. This definitely isn't Hallmark!
Crikey! It's the Irwins (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.): As Bindi celebrates her 21st birthday, she gets a surprise proposal from her boyfriend, Chandler. Things get dangerous as Robert wrangles gators in thick mud. Terri helps with the birth of a white rhino.
Double Holiday 🎥🎄 (Hallmark Channel, 8 p.m.): Rebecca must throw the company holiday party with her office rival, Chris. It coincides with Hanukkah, so she must juggle her work, family traditions, and nemesis to make the party a success.
Is My Daughter Really Dead? 🎥 (Lifetime Movie Network, 8 p.m.): The description I read didn't mention a daughter, dead or alive. Just an ex-husband. So, this title is confusing.
The Magical Cracker 🎥 (Showtime 2, 8 p.m.): Because I really like including this title variant in the listings.
Men in Black: International 🎥 (Starz, 8 p.m.): Heeeeeeeeey, this was a movie. The actors really, really, really try, but you can't overcome a weak script.✔️
Steven Universe Future (Cartoon Network, 8 p.m.): Steven and the Crystal Gems get a chance to catch up with one another when they're snowed in together. Later, Steven hears rumors of Gems that are still destroying worlds.
The Sun Is Also a Star 🎥 (HBO, 8 p.m.): A three-hour documentary discussing stars, the cosmos, and the fact that our sun is also a star, which flat-earthers deny. Just kidding... Hopeless romantic and med student Charles Melton falls for the hard-luck Yara Shahidi, who doesn't believe in love.
FOR THE RECORD: Beachfront Bargain Hunt (HGTV)
Men in Black: International (via Giphy) |
🕘 EASTERN / 🕗 CENTRAL
El Chicano 🎥 (Showtime, 9 p.m.): A pair of twin brothers from East L.A. choose to live their lives differently and end up on opposite sides of the law in this movie I have zero memory of being a thing.
Christmas on My Mind 🎥🎄 (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, 9 p.m.): Ashley Greene wakes with a wedding dress and AMNESIA! She and her longtime sweetheart broke up years ago, so she needs to go find out why and the woman is used to be. And maybe find love!✔️
FOR THE RECORD: Caribbean Life (HGTV); Full Custom Garage (Motor Trend)
🕙 EASTERN / 🕘 CENTRAL
Good Times 📺 (TV One, 10 p.m.): You saw the remake on Wednesday. now check out the original. In "The Politician," the Evans family is divided over who to support for city council... the longtime politician who is a lot of talk or the 20-something with ideas but no experience.✔️
FOR THE RECORD: Building Giants (Science); Destination Fear (Travel Channel); Island Life (HGTV); Ready to Love (OWN); The Secret Life of the Zoo (Animal Planet)
🕚 EASTERN / 🕙 CENTRAL
Charlie's Angels 📺 (Decades, 11 p.m.): Jiggle TV is back with a weekend of the OG Angels. In this season one episode, the girls go undercover as a journalist, insurance investigator, and a roller derby team member after one of the team is dies and someone suspects it was intentional. Also, I just remembered this was a new movie mere weeks ago, and I already forgot.✔️
Looking for Leia (Syfy, 11 p.m.): SPECIALS. These short-form specials (of an online docu-series?) profiles some women and nonbinary folks who are a part of Star Wars fandom.
⭐ Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:29 p.m.): 35 years since his last hosting duty, Eddie Murphy returns to his old stomping grounds. Sure, he was around for the 40th anniversary special, but he didn't perform. He never has with Lorne at the helm. There have already been a lot of Christmas skits but expect for even more. I wouldn't be surprised to see the return Mr. Robinson or his impressions of Stevie Wonder and James Brown. I really like Buckwheat and Gumby, but they don't seem like characters that have much relevance in 2019... but that's never stopped SNL before! Don't expect reunions given most of the early '80s cast didn't like Murphy. Providing music tonight is rapper Lizzo, who has music that is used everywhere these days. Murphy is definitely campaigning this awards season for Dolemite. Lizzo is currently up for eight Grammys, the most for any performer this year.
💤💤😴💤💤
The Invaders 📺 (MeTV, midnight): Vincent's college buddy expresses concern about peculiar experiments conducted by his brother at their sanitarium.
Lost in Space 📺 (MeTV, 1 a.m.): In a Christmas episode, Will uses the matter-transfer unit to return to Earth, but no one there believes his story about his family being stranded on far away planets.
Charlie's Angels (via Giphy) |
LATE-NIGHT TV
The Greg Gutfeld Show (Fox News, 10 p.m.): Drew Pinsky, Kate Hyde, Kat Timpf, and Tyrus
Johnny Carson 📺 (Antenna TV, 10 p.m.): Bob Hope, Dean Martin, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Carol Wayne (12 Dec 1975)
Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:29 p.m.): Eddie Murphy and Lizzo (live-thread page)
SNL Vintage 📺 (NBC, 10 p.m.): Matt Damon and Miley Cyrus & Mark Ronson (15 Dec 2018)
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Note: All times are Eastern.
Key Sources: The Futon Critic (outline); Zap2it (descriptions); TV Passport (throwbacks)⭐: Top pick(s)
📺: Throwback
🎥: Movie
🎄: Holiday-themed program
✔️: Midlevel video/gif included
Happy watching, everyone!
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