Happy Simpsonsversary And Other Tuesday Headlines

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'Trumpers Remember Armenian Genocide With Solemn Screams, Fisticuffs At Adam Schiff Event' [Wonkette]

Lev Parnas Scares The Shit Out Of Mitch McConnell [The Bulwark]

The Sundowning Shitgibbon Has Lied Well Over Fifteen Thousand Times [The Washington Post]

Wouldn't It Be Nice If Meghan McCain Never Spoke Again? [Mediaite]

Neil Gorsuch Will Be On Fox & Friends This Morning, Totally Normal For A Member Of SCOTUS [Politico]

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Believe It Or Not, 'All I Want For Christmas' Never Hit Number One Before Now [Pajiba]

Kumail Nanjiani Is Ripped [DListed]

How Alanna Ubach Won The Part Of Judge Jeanine In Bombshell [Vulture]

Harvey Weinstein Is Truly Committed To The Whole 'Back Injury' Thing [Page Six]

Tucker Carlson Believes Immigrants Are Making The Potomac River Dirtier [CNN]

Via Tenor

Oprah Will Keep Shilling For Weight Watchers Until At Least 2025 [CNBC]

An Unnamed D.C. Chef Was Arrested By ICE Under Dubious Circumstances [DCist]

Reality Television-Inspired Gifts For The Reality Television Fanatic In Your Life [Reality Blurred]

The Proposed Quentin Tarantino Star Trek Film Is Now Up In The Air [Deadline]

Debating The Best Film Performances Of The Year [The Hollywood Reporter]

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A Screenplay About Bratty Barron Made Hollywood's Blacklist [Variety]

Prince William Is Teaching George And Charlotte About Life Outside The Palace Walls [Town & Country]

The Rewatchables Tackle The Godfather Part II [The Ringer Podcast]

Jessica Chastain Baked A Cake [Celebitchy]

After 500 Days In The Shelter, Bonita The Pit Bull Has Found A Furever Home [WPVI]

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In Anticipation Of A New California Law Restricting The Output Of Freelancers, SB Nation Has Parted Ways With Contractors In The State [Awful Announcing]

Handicapping The NFL Playoffs [Sports Illustrated]

The Newtown High School State Champs Were Interviewed By Rodney Harrison And The Dunge [NBC Sports[

'The Most Jay Cutler Thing That Jay Cutler Did On Christmas' [The Ringer]

Rick Porcello Is Now A Met [New York Post]

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Notable Television Premieres On This Day
The Simpsons [1989]

Today's Anti-Trumpidote