What's On Tonight (Friday): Never Fear, Smiths Are Here...

 

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Today’s Top Pick is the new Amazon Prime series, Mr. & Mrs. Smith.  The series is based on the film of the same name, but beyond the title, the two don’t seem to have much in common.  Where the original was about a married couple unaware that they both are actually secret agents/assassins, the new series is about two people who join an intelligence agency and are assigned to pose as a married couple.  In the original, they fall in love again after they both discover the truth.  In the new one, they fall in love after being assigned together.  So, it’s the original film, with a little of The Americans thrown in. 

The series stars Donald Glover and Maya Erskine, with John Turturro and Paul Dano in supporting roles.  That’s a pretty great cast, but I’m a little concerned that Amazon is dropping the whole season at once.  Hopefully that isn’t due to a lack of confidence in the show.  I’ll be watching.

TOP PICK

⭐ 🔔 Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Two lonely strangers land jobs working for a mysterious spy agency that offers them a glorious life of espionage, wealth, world travels, and a dream brownstone in Manhattan. The catch? New identities in an arranged marriage as Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith.'

Elsewhere...

*Recently we’ve seen a few musicals get released that seemed to be scared of letting people know they are musicals (I hope that isn’t true of Dune Part 2, but now that I consider it, I would totally be down with that).  One movie that isn’t scared of proclaiming its true nature is Dicks: The Musical, premiering on Max.  Unfortunately, nothing I see in the trailer particularly interests me beyond Nathan Lane and Meagan Mullally, and double unfortunately, they’re not the leads.  That’s quite unfortunate.  Opportunity: blown.

*I’ve commented before how Netflix has a pretty great track record with animated movies of late, and it seems they have another winner with Orion and the Dark.  It’s sitting at 84% fresh over at Rotten Tomatoes, lists Charlie Kaufman as one of its writers, and features a voice performance from Werner Herzog.  Those last two persons in particular pique my interest.  I would hope they’d pique just about anyone’s interest for a children's film (except, maybe, children).

*Paramount, not to be outdone by Netflix because today is apparently opposite day, also has a new animated film, The Tiger's Apprentice.  It boasts a great voice cast including Michelle Yeoh and Sandra Oh, but the animation isn't doing much for me.  It looks less like a film and more like a Nickelodeon cartoon series.  It's only at 67% on Rotten Tomatoes.  I guess Paramount is still being outdone by Netflix.  You might think that means it is not Opposite Day after all, but you would be mistaken.  Opposite Day is known for these sudden reversals.

*Paramount's Kokomo City has nothing to do with the Beach Boys song.  The documentary film is about black transgender sex workers.  The Beach Boys song is about transgender sex workers of indeterminate race.  Still, I think someone's gonna get sued.

PREMIERES

Love & WWE: Bianca & Montez

🔔 Love & WWE: Bianca & Montez (Hulu, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A fun, exciting peek into the personal lives of WWE's hottest couple. Bianca Belair and Montez Ford's road to WrestleMania is a wild ride, as Montez continues his ascent and Bianca fights to hold on to her title.'

🔔 Pixar's Self (Disney+, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'The studio's first hybrid between CGI and stop-motion animation. The short focuses on a wooden doll's journey of introspection and fitting in.'

🎥 Dicks: The Musical (Max, 3:01 AM) STREAMING PREMIERE. 'Two self-obsessed businessmen discover they’re long-lost identical twins and come together to plot the reunion of their eccentric divorced parents.'

🔔 Let's Talk About Chu (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Part-time vlogger Chu Ai uses her channel to speak candidly about sex. But in real life, she finds that subject to be so much trickier.'

🎥 Orion and the Dark (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A boy with an active imagination faces his fears on an unforgettable journey through the night with his new friend: a giant, smiling creature named Dark.'

🎥 Kokomo City (Paramount+, 3:01 AM; Showtime, 9:00 PM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'Four Black transgender sex workers tell their life stories in intimate and candid interviews.'

🎥 The Tiger's Apprentice (Paramount+, 3:01 AM) 'A young boy in San Francisco meets a talking tiger named Mr. Hu and discovers he's the latest in a long line of guardians who protect an ancient phoenix from evildoers.

🎥 Bosco (Peacock, 3:01 AM) 'In 2006, Quawntay "Bosco" Adams plans an ingenious escape from a federal maximum-security prison for the chance to be at his first child's birth.'

🎥 Dario Argento Panico (Shudder, 3:01 AM) 'In the secluded ambiance of hotel rooms, Dario Argento crafted his greatest cinematic creations, seeking solace from the outside world to delve into his nightmares. Now, he finds himself in a hotel room to return to the very setting that ignited his creative fervor to conclude his latest script and participate in an intimate interview, all while being followed by a film crew documenting his life for a movie about his illustrious career.'

🎥 Gilded Newport Mysteries: Murder at the Breakers (HMC, 9:00 PM) 'A society page writer in 1895 Rhode Island witnesses a murder while attending a ball at the Vanderbilt mansion and is drawn into the investigation when her brother is arrested.'

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 Serving the Hamptons (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🐻 Care Bears: Unlock the Magic (Max, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🦸‍♀️ Marvel's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (Disney Channel & Disney XD, 8:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

Marvel's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur

STREAMING

🔔 Expats (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

😈 Hazbin Hotel (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. 

✈ Masters of the Air (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Part Three" 

⚖ Judy Justice (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🏠 The Established Home (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Who's Talking to Chris Wallace (Max, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 The Woman in the Wall (Paramount, 3:01 AM) "Knock, Knock" 

👮‍♂️ Flex X Cop (Hulu, 9:31 AM) 

🔔 Undead Unluck (Hulu, 2:01 PM) 

LIVE SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

⚽ Division 1 Feminine: Fleury vs. Paris Saint Germain (CBSSN, 3:00 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am, Second Round (Golf, 3:00 PM)

🏀 College Basketball: Kent State at Buffalo (CBSSN, 6:30 PM)

🏒 2024 NHL All-Star Skills (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🏀 College Basketball: St Bonaventure at Dayton (ESPN2, 7:00 PM)

🏀 College Basketball: Princeton at Yale (ESPNU, 7:00 PM)

🏒 College Hockey: Minnesota-Duluth vs. Omaha (CBSSN, 8:30 PM)

🏀 College Basketball: Toledo at Akron (ESPN2, 9:00 PM)

🏀 Girls High School Basketball: Episcopal (TX) at Houston Christian (TX) (ESPNU, 9:00 PM)

🏌️‍♀️ Women's Golf: 2024 Women's Amateur Asia Pacific, Third Round (Golf, 11:00 PM)

Orion and the Dark

🕗 EARLY PRIMETIME 🕗

🔔 Kiya & the Kimoja Heroes (Disney Jr, 4:00 PM) 
💲 Blank Slate (GSN, 6:00 PM) 

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Penn & Teller: Fool Us (CW, 8:00 PM) 'Featured magicians include Giancarlo Bernini, Rachel Ling Gordon, Mr Triton and Joe Diamond.'

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race (MTV, 8:00 PM) 'The queens must write and perform their own verses for RuPaul songs from his new album.'

🔔 Powerbook III: Raising Kanan (Starz, 8:01 PM) 'Ronnie and Kanan's feud with Raq intensifies as Marvin desperately searches for Lou; Famous and Jukebox find themselves at a turning point.'

🦈 Shark Tank (ABC, 8:00 PM) 
💲 The Price is Right at Night (CBS, 8:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
👩‍⚕️ Transplant (NBC, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🦸‍♀️ Marvel's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (Disney Channel & Disney XD, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🎭 American Masters (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'Celebrating the life and influence of Little Richard as well as his role in rock history with Paul McCartney, Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, David Bowie, Elton John, Bob Dylan, Prince and Bruce Springsteen.'

👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) 'Counting down the top 10 scariest encounters that just might be evidence of extraterrestrial visitation, from an encounter in rural Texas that left onlookers with unexplainable injuries, to mysterious cattle mutilations, and more.'

🔔 Hightown (Starz, 9:00 PM) 'Jackie fails a pee test and she is off the force, and it wasn't even her pee; Renee unwittingly lets Frankie back into her life, and Osito defends his turf.'

💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Hustlers Gamblers Crooks (Discovery, 9:00 PM) 
🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
🎥 Gilded Newport Mysteries: Murder at the Breakers (HMC, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 Beachfront Bargain Hunt Renovation (Magnolia, 9:00 PM) 
🚗 Hot Rod Garage (Motortrend, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
🎥 Kokomo City (Showtime, 9:00 PM) 
💖 Love After Lockup: Life After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 
🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race: Untucked (MTV, 9:30 PM) 

The Tiger's Apprentice

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🎵 CMT Campfire Sessions (CMT, 10:00 PM) 'Dustin Lynch shares stories of his early days in country music and delivers soulful and heartfelt classics, including "Thinking 'Bout You," "Cowboys and Angels" and "Small Town Boy."'

👽 The Unbelievable with Dan Aykroyd (History, 10:04 PM) 'A look at tales of strange things below Earth's surface, including sea beasts, hidden cities, and tunnels carved by giant sloths.'

💰 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery, 10:00 PM) 
🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 
🚗 Graveyard Carz (Motortrend, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Actor Larry David; actor Cole Sprouse; comic Rob Haze.'

🔔 After Midnight (CBS, 12:37 AM) 'Comics Atsuko Okatsuka, Josh Johnson and Doug Benson.'

🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 12:05 PM) 
🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:35 PM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM)

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE📺

The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); South Park (Comedy Central, 10:10 AM - 2:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 7:00 PM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 PM - 6:00 PM); The Andy Griffith Show (TVLand, 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); Archie Bunker's Place (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TVLand, 7:00 PM - 11:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -9:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antennae, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); The King of Queens (TVLand, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Designing Women (Antenna, 11:00 PM - 12:00 AM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); The Drew Carey Show (Antennae, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Mom (TVLand, 2:00 AM - 4:12 AM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Comic Jay Leno; actor Fred Savage; Brian Gillis.'

Dario Argento Panico

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included