What's On Tonight (Friday): Goosebumps Ain't Just How Anthony Edwards Died in Top Gun...

  

Goosebumps

I graduated high school the year the first Goosebumps book was published so I have never read any of the books or seen any of the episodes of the original TV series.  In fact, the only iteration this franchise that I have seen is the movie adaptation starring Jack Black, which was pretty good.  

I'm not quite sure what to make of the new series.  I assumed it would be an anthology like the original series, but it appears to center around a recurring cast of characters.  The trailer gave me some light Buffy vibes, mostly in the "teenagers dealing with supernatural bullshit" way, but there aren't many shows out there more worthy of imitation.

It could be fun, but if it's not your cup of tea, there are plenty of other options today.

TOP PICK

⭐🧟‍♂️ Goosebumps (Hulu, 12:01 AM and Disney+, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'A chilling new series inspired by R.L. Stine's worldwide bestselling Scholastic book series.'✔️

Elsewhere...

*Netflix has a new "fantasy" film starring Millie Bobby Brown called Damsel.  The weird thing about this film is how it doesn't feel like Netflix is doing much of anything to promote it, at least not compared to the two Enola Holmes films.  The supporting cast includes Angela Bassett, Robin Wright, Shohreh Aghdashlo and Ray Winstone!  Why is the trailer only a minute long?  Why isn't Netflix making a bigger deal out of it?  Even if it's bad, Netflix promotes terrible original films all the time!  That's pretty much what they're known for these days!  I might check it out just to see what the lack of hubbub is about.

*We've got some other scary entries this week as the streamers gear up for Halloween.  In addition to the Top Pick, we have John Carpenter's Suburban Screams.  This is an anthology-reality-horror series that takes "true" horror stories and creates cinematic reenactments of the stories while the real-life people tell them.  No offense to Mr. Carpenter, but that sounds like just about every show on the ID network.

*Shudder and AMC also have a new season of Creepshow, and Shudder also has a new film called The Puppetman.  I very much wanted this to be a full-length version of the classic Angel episode where he is turned into a wee puppet man, but alas, it was not to be.

*Brie Larson has a new series on Apple called Lessons in Chemistry, about a chemist in the early 50s who ends up hosting a cooking TV show after getting fired because she's a woman and men suck.  I could see this one stirring up the right but it's airing on Apple so it pretty much will never be seen by anyone who might take issue.

*Last, but not least, Tubi has a new original film called Dante's Hotel.  To give you an idea of how cheap this move looks, scroll on down to the GIF below (go ahead, I'll wait).  That's an actual effect from the trailer.  This is an image the producers thought could sell their movie.  Also, I spent much of the trailer wondering why James Spader would do this crap before realizing it was actually Judd Nelson, who looks absolutely nothing like Spader, but whose presence in a film of this quality is far less puzzling.

PREMIERES

The Burial

🎥 The Burial (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 'Inspired by true events, when a handshake deal goes sour, funeral homeowner Jeremiah O’Keefe enlists charismatic attorney Willie E. Gary to save his family business. Tempers flare and laughter ensues as the unlikely pair bond while exposing corporate corruption and racial injustice in this inspirational, triumphant story.  Starring Tommy Lee Jones and Jamie Foxx.'✔️

💎 Everybody Loves Diamonds (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Follows a team of small-time Italian thieves, led by Leonardo Notarbartolo (Rossi Stuart), who manages to deceive top-level security with a genius mastermind plan and steal millions of dollars' worth of precious stones from the Antwerp Diamond Centre. Inspired by the 2003 "Antwerp Diamond Heist."'✔️

⚗ Lessons in Chemistry (Apple, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Follows Elizabeth Zott, whose dream of being a scientist is put on hold in a patriarchal society. When Elizabeth finds herself fired from her lab, she accepts a job as a host on a TV cooking show and sets out to teach a nation of overlooked housewives - and the men who are suddenly listening - a lot more than recipes.  Based on the best-selling novel.  Starring Brie Larson.'✔️

🎥 The Conference (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A ragtag group of public sector employees battle not only their own discord but also a bloodthirsty killer during a seemingly innocent retreat.'✔️

🎥 Damsel (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A dutiful damsel agrees to marry a handsome prince, only to discover it was all a trap: the royal family recruited her as a sacrifice to repay an ancient debt. She is then thrown into a cave with a fire-breathing dragon, having to solely rely on her wits and will to survive. Starring Millie Bobby Brown.'

🎥 Ijogbon (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Four teenagers from a rural village in South West Nigeria stumble upon a pouch of uncut diamonds - but before long, others come looking for the bounty.'

🧟‍♂️ John Carpenter's Suburban Screams (Peacock, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Explores the dark secrets and unspeakable evil that sometimes lurks beneath the surface of the sun-drenched streets, manicured lawns and friendly neighbors of suburbia. Each episode focuses on one true tale of terror, told by the real people who lived through it. Their firsthand accounts are brought to life through premium cinematic scene-work, news clips, home photos, and archival footage, combining the visual language of horror films with the tools and techniques of documentaries, creating a uniquely frightening experience for viewers.'✔️

🎵 Serenata De Las Estrellas (Roku, 3:01 AM) 'A feel-good series that beautifully captures how music can lift us up. Some of the biggest acts in Latin music are enlisted to surprise deserving participants with a life-changing gift and performance that they'll never forget. Featured artists include singer Chiquis, rapper and singer Snow Tha Product, and rock bands Los Lobos and Ozomatli.'

🎥 The Puppetman (Shudder, 3:01 AM) 'A convicted killer on death row maintains his innocence. His daughter suspects there is truth to her father's claim when her loved ones begin to die in brutal ways.'✔️

🎥 Dante's Hotel (Tubi, 3:01 AM) 'An event planner teams up with a mysterious tenant to free a cursed hotel.'✔️

💖 Ready to Love: Make a Move (OWN, 8:00 PM) 'Four Ready to Love fan-favorite female alum embark on an all-new adventure looking for their soulmates in a new city, New Orleans. But the Big Easy isn't that simple in love as host Tamica Lee, an expert matchmaker, presents them with 25 potential Mr. Rights to choose from.  The ladies each need to decide if any of the men are worthy for them to move permanently to New Orleans for a fresh start at life and love - or if they'll return back to their own homes still searching for "the one."'

💰 Raid the Cage (CBS, 9:00 PM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Features two teams of two facing off to grab-and-go with prizes from the Cage before their time runs out and the doors close. Correctly answering questions adds seconds to the clock, giving teammates more time to grab prizes from the Cage. After three rounds, the team who banks the highest total dollar value in prizes wins the game, keeps what they have grabbed so far and plays the final round for even bigger prizes including a car.'

🎥 Curious Caterer Mysteries: Fatal Vows (HMC, 9:00 PM) 'When Goldy agreed to cater Tom's ex Jessamyn's elaborate wedding, she didn't expect a dead groom and missing bridezilla would bring her together with Tom again, to catch a killer and find Jess.'

The Puppetman

RETURNING SHOWS

🧟‍♂️ Creepshow (AMC+ and Shudder, 3:01 AM; AMC, 10:00 PM) SEASON FOUR PREMIERE.

🔔 Shining Vale (Starz, 9:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🎭 Next at the Kennedy Center (PBS, 10:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

STREAMING

🔔 Gen V (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 The Changeling (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Battle of the Island" SEASON FINALE. 

🔔 Still Up (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Road Trip" 

⚖ Tribunal Justice (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Undead Unluck (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 Design Defined (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Deane's Dynasty (Max, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Who's Talking to Chris Wallace (Max, 3:01 AM) 

🍰 The Great British Baking Show (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 

💖 Love is Blind (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. 

👮‍♂️ Cops (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM) 

John Carpenter's Suburban Screams

LIVE SPORTSBALL TODAY/TONIGHT

🥒 PPA Tour: CIBC (USA vs World) Boca Raton Open (Amazon, 10:00 AM) 

🏐 Women's College Volleyball: Dartmouth at Brown (ESPNU, 5:00 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: Shriners Children's Open, Second Round (Golf, 5:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: Tulane at Memphis (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🏈 High School Football: Buford (Ga.) at Mill Creek (Ga.) (ESPN2, 7:00 PM)

🏐 Women's College Volleyball: Pittsburgh at Louisville (ESPNU, 7:00 PM)

🏎 NASCAR Xfinity Racing Series: Alsco Uniforms 302, Qualifying (USA, 7:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Basketball: Miami Heat at San Antonio Spurs (TNT, 7:30 PM)

🏈 College Football: Fresno State at Utah State (CBSSN, 8:00 PM)

🏐 Women's College Volleyball: Texas Tech at BYU (ESPNU, 9:00 PM)

🏈 College Football: Stanford at Colorado (ESPN, 10:00 PM)

🏀 NBA Basketball: Golden State Warriors at Los Angeles Lakers (ESPN2, 10:00 PM)

🏌️‍♀️ LPGA Tour Golf: Buick LPGA Shanghai, Third Round (Golf, 11:00 PM)

The Conference

🕗 EARLY PRIMETIME 🕖

💲 Switch (GSN, 7:00 PM) 

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🦈 Shark Tank (ABC, 8:00 PM) 'Guest Shark Michael Rubin; a bot service for consumers; frozen beef Wellingtons; a baseball glove wrapper; a dating advice service.' 

⚖ Deadlocked: How America Shapes the Supreme Court (Showtime, 8:00 PM) 'With the confirmations of Justices Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Barrett, the Court moves decisively to the right; the Court faces charges of partisanship as its conservative majority appears set to shape American life in the coming decades.' SEASON FINALE. 

🔔 Power Book IV: Force (Starz, 8:00 PM) 'Tommy and Diamond continue gaining territory behind Miguel's back, but Diamond is pulled in other directions; Jenard gets more than he bargained for; Tommy puts Vic's loyalty to the test.'

💰 The Price is Right at Night (CBS, 8:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 NBC News Special: Jada's Story (NBC, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 The Very Very Best of the 80s (AXS TV, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🚗 Engine Masters (Motortrend, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love: Make a Move (OWN, 8:00 PM) 
💀 Homicide for the Holidays (Oxygen, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: First Shift (Reelz, 8:00 PM) 

Dante's Hotel

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

👽 The Unexplained (History, 9:00 PM) 'A look at whether time travel has already occurred, on purpose or by accident, and scientists who believe it is theoretically possible.'

🔔 Shining Vale (Starz, 9:00 PM) 'Pat returns home and tries to put the family back together; Terry meets his family for the first time after suffering a traumatic brain injury; Gaynor battles with Pat over the role as head of household.' 

💰 Raid the Cage (CBS, 9:00 PM) 
💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) 
💀 Killer Cases (A&E 9:00 PM) 
💰 Bering Sea Gold (Discovery Channel, 9:00 PM) 
🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) X
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
🎥 Curious Caterer Mysteries: Fatal Vows (HMC, 9:00 PM) 
🔨 Beachfront Bargain Hunt Renovation (Magnolia, 9:00 PM) 
🚗 Hot Rod Garage (Motortrend, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Ridiculousness (MTV, 9:00 PM) 
🏈 A Football Life Origins - Davante Adams (NFLN, 9:00 PM) 
🔨 Rebuilding Black Wall Street (OWN, 9:00 PM) 
💀 Real Murders of Los Angeles (Oxygen, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
💖 Love After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM)
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🎭 Next at the Kennedy Center (PBS, 10:00 PM) 'Grammy Award-winning pianist, composer and producer Robert Glasper celebrates the 10th anniversary of his album "Black Radio."'

🧟‍♂️ Creepshow (AMC, 10:00 PM) 
🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
💀 Murder in the 21st (A&E, 10:01 PM) 
👽 The Proof is Out There (History, 10:03 PM) 

Everybody Loves Diamonds

LATE NIGHT

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Kelly Clarkson talks and performs; former professional ice hockey player Henrik Lundqvist.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Craig Reynolds sits in with the 8G Band.'

💰 Gold Rush: The Dirt (Discovery Channel, 11:00 PM) 
🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM)
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM)
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO BINGE📺

The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:01 AM - 12:00 PM); Law & Order (Pop, 6:00 AM - 8:00 PM); Futurama (Comedy Central, 7:00 AM - 9:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 8:30 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Parks and Recreation (Comedy Central, 9:00 AM - 2:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 2:00 PM - 6:00 PM) - The Andy Griffith Show (TVLand, 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Family Ties (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TVLand, 7:00 PM - 11:05 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -9:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antennae, 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM); King of Queens (TVLand, 11:05 PM - 2:00 AM); Designing Women (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Becker (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Wings (Antennae, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Mom (TVLand, 2:00 AM - 3:45 AM); Benson (Antenna, 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM)

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Actor Buddy Hackett; actor Dean Martin; actor Burt Reynolds; actor Don Rickles; actress Carol Wayne.'

Lessons in Chemistry

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included