What's On Tonight (Friday): It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere...

 

via Tenor

I'm a Neil Gaiman fan though I've never read The Sandman comics, an admission that I'm sure will elicit cries of, "THEN YOU'RE NOT REALLY A FAN."  This week Netflix is premiering its big budget (reportedly $15 million/episode) adaptation and I will be checking it out.  If I am sufficiently intrigued, I may go pick up the comics.  Or maybe I won't.  Maybe I'll just declare print is dead and browbeat any "readers" into accepting the TV series as the ultimate medium for this story.  That worked really well with Game of Thrones.

Elsewhere...

*I feel bad for Hulu releasing its new Predator movie, Prey, on the same day as Sandman.  Actually, I feel bad for the movie and am irritated with Hulu.  Not that there isn't enough audience for both (I'll be checking them both out) but it certainly seems like Hulu could have picked a better weekend when Sandman wouldn't steal Prey's thunder.

*Apple has the first Skydance animated film (Luck), and the reviews have been middling.  John Lasseter is the head of Skydance Animation.  Cancel culture run amok.

*Amazon has a film starring Viggo Mortenson and Colin Farrell about the soccer team and their coach who became trapped in a cave in Thailand and were eventually rescued.  Reviews have been good (86% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes as of Thurs).  Mortenson plays real life rescue diver Rick Stanton, so I'm assuming Farrell must play Elon Musk.  He probably walked straight to this film from the set of The Batman.  He could have kept his Penguin prosthetics and everything.

I binged all of Amazon's Paper Girls this past week.  I can understand the comparisons to Stranger Things, but other than some of the series taking place in the 80's and a nice low tech synth score, they're two very different shows (plus the source material for Paper Girls predates Stranger Things).  It's a good show and I very much appreciate that most of the episodes are less that 45 minutes long.  The most recent Stranger Things season would have benefitted from doing the same.

TOP PICK

⭐🔔 The Sandman (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'After years of imprisonment, Morpheus — the King of Dreams — embarks on a journey across worlds to find what was stolen from him and restore his power.'

PREMIERES

🎥 Thirteen Lives (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 'A rescue mission is assembled in Thailand where a group of young boys and their soccer coach are trapped in a system of underground caves that are flooding.  Starring Viggo Mortenson, Colin Farrell and Joel Edgerton.'

🎥 Luck (Apple, 12:01 AM) 'The curtain is pulled back on the millennia-old battle between the organizations of good luck and bad luck that secretly affects everyday lives.'

🎥 Prey (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 'The origin story of the Predator in the world of the Comanche Nation 300 years ago. Naru, a skilled female warrior, fights to protect her tribe against one of the first highly evolved Predators to land on Earth.'

🎥 Stowaway (AMC+, 3:01 AM) 'A tenacious party girl fights to survive after three thieves commandeer her luxury yacht (PANIC ROOM on a yacht).  Starring Ruby Rose and Frank Grillo.'

🍴 Recipe Lost and Found (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Classically trained chef and food anthropologist Casey Corn is on a journey to help people rediscover their lost family recipes, diving into each family's history and culture to reveal the magic behind the dish.'

🎥 Carter (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A man wakes up missing his memories. Directed by a mysterious voice from a device in his ear, he sets off on a hostage rescue mission rife with danger.'

🎥 Darlings (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Badru hopes her volatile husband will reform if he stops drinking. But when his rage goes too far, she and her mom boldly, albeit clumsily, seek revenge.'

🎥 Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'The teen turtles and their mystic ninja powers are put to the ultimate test when ruthless creatures from another universe look to unleash extreme chaos.  Based on the "Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" TV series.'

🎥 They/Them (Peacock, 3:01 AM) 'After arriving at a gay conversion camp, a group of LGBTQ people must fend for themselves against a mysterious killer.'

🎥 Lies Beneath the Surface (LMN, 8:00 PM) 'Kayaking on a remote lake, a woman notices some suspicious behavior and soon suspects that a mother and her daughter may be in danger. Her quest to help the family soon sets off a deadly game of cat and mouse and a fight for survival.'

via WiffleGif

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 The Outlaws (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🚀 Lego Star Wars Summer Vacation (Disney+, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION.

🔔 Dynasty (CW, 9:00 PM) 

STREAMING

🔔 Black Bird (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. "You Promised" 

🚀 For All Mankind (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Coming Home" 

💰 Loot (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Cahoga Lake" 

🔔 Physical (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. "Don't You Say It's Over" 

🔔 Surface (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Psychogenic" 

🔔 Trying (Apple, 12:01 AM)  "Little Steps" 

🔔 Conjuring Kesha (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. "Descent Into Madness" 

💖 Love Island (UK) (Hulu, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 The Guava Juice Show (YouTube, 10:00 AM) 

🔔 Big Tiny Food Face-Off (YouTube, 12:00 PM) 

💖 Love Island (Peacock, 9:00 PM) 

via Tenor

SPORTS TONIGHT TODAY LIVE

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: Wyndham Championship, Second Round (Golf, 2:00 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Korn Ferry Tour Golf: Utah Championship, Second Round (Golf, 6:00 PM)

🥎 Athletes Unlimited Softball: Teams TBA (ESPNU, 6:30 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Washington Nationals at Philadelphia Phillies (Apple, 7:00 PM)

🥊 Professional Fighters League: 2022 PFL Playoffs: Lightweights & Light Heavyweights (Main Card) (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🏀 WNBA Basketball: Los Angeles Sparks at Atlanta Dream (CBSSN, 7:30 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Cincinnati Reds at Milwaukee Brewers (Apple, 8:00 PM)

🥍 Premiere Lacrosse League: Cannons LC vs. Redwoods LC (ESPN. 9:00 PM)

🥎 Athletes Unlimited Softball: Teams TBA (ESPNU, 9:00 PM)

⚽ NWSL Soccer: North Carolina Courage at Portland Thorns FC (CBSSN, 10:30 PM)

MIDNIGHT

🦖 Primal (Adult Swim, 12:00 AM) "The Red Mist" 

EARLY PRIMETIME

🏠 The Loud House (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM) 'The Morticians Club plans Bertrand's escape from the cruise ship his parents work on.'

🔔 The Casagrandes (Nickelodeon, 7:30 PM) 'Ronnie Anne and Bobby have to deal with an old friend of Arturo's, Beto the alpaca, but Beto has it out for the kids; Abuelo helps CJ build a rocket, but when things aren't going well, Abuelo tells a little fib to preserve CJ's feelings.'

💲 People Puzzler (GSN, 6:00 PM) 
🔔 Eureka! (Disney Jr, 7:30 PM) 

via Gyfcat

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔔 The Fatal Flaw -- A Special Edition of 20/20 (ABC, 8:00 PM) 'A so-called "black widow" frames her own daughter for the deaths of her two husbands.' 

🔨 Secret Celebrity Renovation (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'Pop icon Debbie Gibson returns to Long Island, N.Y., to surprise her longtime friend and manager with a ranch-style home renovation.' 

💀 People Magazine Presents: Crimes of the '90s (ID, 8:00 PM) 'People Magazine editors present the story of Claudette Ficik, a Georgia college student who disappears while driving home to see her parents; suspects include an infatuated classmate, an ex, and the man she planned to bring home on that trip.' 

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night SmackDown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Parker's Trail (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🎥 Lies Beneath the Surface (LMN, 8:00 PM) 
🔨 Making Modern with Brooke and Brice (Magnolia, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Dynasty (CW, 9:00 PM) 'Liam turns to his mentor for advice as his deadline approaches; Culhane and Nina work to promote Liam's movie; Cristal takes matters into her own hands, without discussing with Blake.' 

🍴 Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'Guy Fieri's unhinging his jaw for some sandwiches and big-time burgers; in Palm Desert, Calif., a market-deli is piling up the porchetta; a burger joint is adding over-the-top twists; in Nashville, Tenn., a Vietnamese spot is making the bomb banh mi.' 

🍴 The Great American Recipe (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'The four remaining cooks prepare two dishes inspired by their friends and families.' 

👮‍♂️ North Woods Law: Uncuffed (Animal Planet, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Dave Turin's Lost Mine (Discovery, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) 
🐶 Cesar Milan: Better Human Better Dog (NGC, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Belle Collective (OWN, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
👻 Ghost Adventures (Travel, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Life After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 

via VSGIF

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Antiques Roadshow Recut (PBS, 10:30 PM) 'A carved nephrite necklace; Neil Armstrong-signed Apollo 11 moon landing photos; 1993 "Magic: The Gathering" Beta cards.' 

🎵 CMT Campfire Sessions (CMT, 10:00 PM) 'Featuring Old Dominion.' 

💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 10:00 PM) 
🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 
🐶 Cesar Milan: Better Human Better Dog (NGC, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
🦈 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery, 10:01 PM) 
🔔 Super Sized Salon (WE, 10:30 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 The Rehearsal (HBO, 11:00 PM) "The Fielder Method" 

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Actor Michael Cera; actress Keke Palmer; comic Simon Taylor'

🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 'RuPaul guest hosts; actress Hannah Waddingham; comic Phoebe Robinson; The Interrupters perform.'

🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO Binge📺

📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); Warehouse 13 (6:00 AM - 6:00 AM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:04 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM); ER (Pop, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 2:00 AM); House (Pop, 3:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM); Welcome Back, Kotter (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -10:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:05 PM); Good Times (TVOne, 8:00 PM - 3:00 AM);  King of Queens (TV Land, 11:05 PM - 2:00 AM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Maude (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM) 

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Actor Ricardo Montalban; Laura Bergt; TV personality Uri Geller.'

via Giphy

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included