What's On Tonight (Friday): Tales from the Shark Side...

 

via Giphy

It's that special time of year again.  When the Discovery Channel decides to embrace our irrational fears of an animal that for the most part doesn't want anything to do with us.  On average, sharks kill 10 people every year, which puts them at number 15 on the list of deadliest animals.  This puts them behind lions (100 deaths/year), hippos (100 deaths/year), crocodiles (1000 deaths/year), dogs (25,000 deaths/year), and way behind the number one most deadly animal, mosquitos (1,000,000 deaths/year).  This also puts them behind cows (22 deaths/year in just the US).  So, when the hell do we get Cow Week?

Elsewhere...

*Shudder is also embracing the "sharks are the biggest threat to mankind" thing with a sequel to the 2010 film, The Reef.  I would say they should have struck while the iron was hot, but the iron in question was only ever lukewarm at best.

*Neil Patrick Harris stars in a new Netflix series about a man whose husband walks out on him after 17 years of marriage.  Guess he'll be able to go focus more of his attention on keeping Neo and Trinity in the Matrix now.

*Apple has a new series about a woman with amnesia trying to put her life back together who may not like what she finds.  I was going to say this sounds a lot like Regarding Henry, but then I read it's a "sexy, elevated thriller," and now I know it's EXACTLY like Regarding Henry.

I'm all about season three of yesterday's WOT Top Pick, Harley Quinn.  The first two seasons were hilarious, and regardless of what name they give the couple (it should obviously be Harvy), I’ll be watching.  

TOP PICK

⭐🦈 Jaws vs the Blob (Discovery, 8:00 PM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'A phenomenon known as "The Blob" sends juvenile great whites into a gauntlet of giant 20-foot adults in the midst of a feeding frenzy off the coast of Guadalupe Island; experts dive deep to learn whether the young sharks survive or become a snack.'

⭐🦈 Clash of Killers: Great White vs Mako (Discovery, 9:01 PM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'Scientist Dr. Riley Elliott tracks two of the ocean's most legendary apex predators -- great whites and makos -- as they head on a collision course during their yearly migration off the coast of New Zealand.'

⭐🦈 Shark Women: Ghosted by Great Whites (Discovery, 10:02 PM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'South Africa's great whites are disappearing; shark scientist Alison Towner's mission to find these missing predators and solve the mystery behind their disappearance leads her and her all-female crew to uncharted waters and exciting discoveries.'

via Know-it-all Nikki

PREMIERES

🔔 Paper Girls (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'In the early morning hours after Halloween 1988, four paper girls are out on their delivery route when they become caught in the crossfire between warring time-travelers, changing the course of their lives forever.  Based on the comics by Brian K. Vaughan."

🔔 Amber Brown (Apple, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Based on the beloved, best-selling books by Paula Danziger, Amber Brown is an unfiltered look at a girl finding her own voice through art and music in the wake of her parents' divorce.  Every episode was directed by Bonnie Hunt, who also served as executive producer and showrunner.'

🔔 Surface (Apple, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Sophie has suffered a traumatic head injury that has left her with extreme memory loss, believed to be a result of a suicide attempt. As Sophie embarks on a quest to put the pieces of her life back together with the help of her husband and friends, she begins to question whether or not the truth she is told is in fact the truth she has lived. Through twists and turns and an unexpected love triangle, this sexy, elevated thriller asks: What if you woke up one day and didn't know your own secrets?'

🎥 Not Okay (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 'An ambitious young woman finds followers and fame when she poses as the survivor of a deadly attack, but she soon learns that online notoriety comes with a terrible price.'

🔔 Case Closed: Zero's Tea Time (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A detective who's also a public security agent and a member of a shadowy organization juggles his triple identities in this "Detective Conan" spinoff.'

🎥 The Entitled (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'After learning her estranged father is a hotel mogul, Belinda bumbles her way through a new, sophisticated lifestyle with the help of a charming lawyer.'

via Tenor

🔔 Fanatico (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'When a trap artist's biggest fan tries to take over his idol's persona, he finds out that being a superstar isn't as easy as it looks.'

🔔 Justice Served (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A band of freedom fighters invade the trial of a white police officer who shot a Black man — and a hostage situation unfolds on screens nationwide.'

🎥 Purple Hearts (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'An aspiring musician agrees to a marriage of convenience with a soon-to-deploy Marine, but a tragedy soon turns their fake relationship all too real.'

🔔 Rebel Cheer Squad: A Get Even Series (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A trio of cheerleaders at a posh private school revive their former classmates' anti-bullying club and team up to fight injustice in this teen thriller.'

🔔 Uncoupled (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Stunned when his longtime boyfriend moves out, a New York City real estate broker faces the prospect of starting over — and dating again — in his 40s.'

🎥 Honor Society (Paramount+, 3:01 AM) 'Honor's sole focus is getting into Harvard. Willing to do whatever it takes, Honor concocts a plan to take down her top three competitors, until things take a turn when she unexpectedly falls for her biggest competition.'

🎥 The Reef: Stalked (Shudder, 3:01 AM) 'After her sister's murder, Nic, her younger sister and two friends seek solace through a Pacific island kayaking adventure. Hours into the trip the women are stalked by a shark and must band together, face their fears and save each other.'

🏀 NYC Point Gods (Showtime, 9:00 PM) 'Point guards including Rafer Alston, Kenny Anderson, Mark Jackson, Stephon Marbury, Kenny Smith and Rod Strickland hone their craft and taste for showmanship on New York City's iconic playgrounds and in high school gyms in the 1980s and '90s.'

🔔 Super Sized Salon (WE, 10:30 PM) 'Follows the staff of the first beauty salon that caters to the plus size community, Babydoll Beauty Couture, as they are put to the test when challenges threaten the mission of the salon.'

via Gyfcat

RETURNING SHOWS

🎵 Do, Re & Mi (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE, PART FOUR.

🔔 The Beauty Queen of Jerusalem (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔔 Masaba Masaba (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

🔨 Secret Celebrity Renovation (CBS, 8:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) SEASON SIX PREMIERE.

🔔 Belle Collective (OWN, 9:00 PM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🔔 Life After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) SEASON THREE PREMIERE.

STREAMING

🔔 Black Bird (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Place I Lie" 

🚀 For All Mankind (Apple, 12:01 AM) "The Sands of Ares" 

💰 Loot (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Spades Night" 

🔔 Physical (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Don't You Want to Get Better" 

🔔 Trying (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Capture the Flag" 

🔨 Hollywood Houselift with Jeff Lewis (Freevee, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. 

🔔 Beach Cottage Chronicles (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Conjuring Kesha (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "Kesha Faces Mortality" 

💖 Love in Paradise: The Caribbean (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

💖 Love Island (UK) (Hulu, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars (Paramount+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars: Untucked (Paramount+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 The Guava Juice Show (YouTube, 10:00 AM) 

🔔 Big Tiny Food Face-Off (YouTube, 12:00 PM) 

💖 Love Island (Peacock, 9:00 PM) 

via Giphy

SPORTS TONIGHT TODAY LIVE

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: Rocket Mortgage Classic, Second Round (Golf, 3:00 PM)

🏌️‍♂️ Golf: U.S. Junior Amateur, Semifinals (Golf, 6:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Detroit Tigers at Toronto Blue Jays (Apple, 7:00 PM)

🏀 The Basketball Tournament: Blue Collar U vs. Heartfire (ESPN, 7:00 PM)

🥎 Athletes Unlimited Softball: Team Chidester (Orange) vs. Team Eberle (Blue) (ESPN2, 7:00 PM)

🏀 WNBA Basketball: New York Liberty at Chicago Sky (CBSSN, 8:00 PM)

🏀 The Basketball Tournament: Red Scare vs. Best Virginia (ESPN, 9:00 PM)

🏈 CFL Football: BC Lions at Saskatchewan Roughriders (ESPN2, 9:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Chicago Cubs at San Francisco Giants (Apple, 10:00 PM)

MIDNIGHT

🦖 Primal (Adult Swim, 12:00 AM) 'The quest to find Mira leads Spear and Fang to the village of fearsome warriors.' 

EARLY PRIMETIME

🏠 The Loud House (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM) 'Luna needs to get rid of a nasty case of the hiccups before a big rock competition.' 

🔔 The Casagrandes (Nickelodeon, 7:30 PM) 'Ronnie Anne lands the internship of a lifetime with Bruno, but she is worried about it; dreaming of being the DJ at the Gatos halftime show, Carl goes undercover with Alexis and the school band.' 

🔔 Bunk'd: Learning the Ropes (Disney, 7:30 PM) 
🔔 Eureka! (Disney Jr, 7:30 PM) 
💲 America Says (GSN, 7:30 PM)

via Giphy

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔔 The Fatal Flaw - A Special Edition of 20/20 (ABC, 8:00 PM) 'A secret in the kitchen freezer reveals the killer of a new mother.' 

🔨 Secret Celebrity Renovation (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'Comic and actor Billy Gardell returns to his hometown of Pittsburgh to renovate the home of his best friend's mother, Marianne O'Connell.' 

🔔 Ultra Violet & Black Scorpion (Disney, 8:30 PM) 'Violet learns to bend the rules from Cascada.' 

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night SmackDown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
🦈 Jaws vs the Blob (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 The Villains of Valley View (Disney, 8:00 PM) 
🎥 Keeping Up with the Joneses Movie Series (LMN, 8:00 PM) 
🔨 Making Modern with Brooke and Brice (Magnolia, 8:00 PM) 
🦈 Jaws Invasion: The Truth is Out There (NGC, 8:00 PM) 
💖 Ready to Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🍴 Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'Guy's hitting up a taco joint going above and beyond with their Ahogada Torta and a quesadilla-taco-au jus mashup; a Thai spot is piling up the pork and dynamite dumplings; a funky food truck is loading up monster sandwiches.' 

🍴 The Great American Recipe (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'The five remaining cooks swap recipes and prepare each other's dishes; the cooks must come up with an original fusion dish that represents their own unique American story.' 

🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) 
🐶 Cesar Milan: Better Human Better Dog (NGC, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Belle Collective (OWN, 9:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ On Patrol: Live (Reelz, 9:00 PM) 
🏀 NYC Point Gods (Showtime, 9:00 PM) 
👻 Ghost Adventures (Travel, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 Life After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) 
🦈 Clash of Killers: Great White vs Mako (Discovery, 9:01 PM) 

via Vox

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🔔 American Anthems (PBS, 10:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 'Singer Ruston Kelly writes a ballad for Melissa Smith, who runs a performing arts program that supports intellectually disabled adults.' 

🔔 Antiques Roadshow Recut (PBS, 10:30 PM) 'A Kamaka pineapple ukulele; a 1955 Kezar Stadium 49ers ticket sign; a signed Joe DiMaggio game-used bat.' 

🎵 CMT Campfire Sessions (CMT, 10:00 PM) "Clay Walker & Tracy Lawrence" 

🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 
🐶 Cesar Milan: Better Human Better Dog (NGC, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
🦈 Shark Women: Ghosted by Great Whites (Discovery, 10:02 PM) 
🔔 Super Sized Salon (WE, 10:30 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 The Rehearsal (HBO, 11:00 PM) "Gold Digger" 

🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 'Dana Carvey guest hosts; actor David Spade; actress Maria Bakalova; Whitney performs.'

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Actress Issa Rae; comic Nikki Glaser; Andrew Marshall sits in with the 8G Band.' 

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO Binge📺

📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); Warehouse 13 (6:00 AM - 6:00 AM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM); ER (Pop, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 2:00 AM); House (Pop, 3:00 PM - 8:00 PM); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM); Welcome Back, Kotter (Antenna, 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -10:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Good Times (TVOne, 8:00 PM - 3:00 AM);  King of Queens (TV Land, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Maude (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM) 

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Actor Christopher Reeve; actress Diahann Carroll; actor Tony Delia; actress Merie Earle.'

via Tenor

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included