What's On Tonight (Friday): Nobody Told Me There'd be Things Like These...

 

My wife and I have been trying our best to get through the first seven episodes of Season 4 so we can pick up the last two episodes this weekend before the potential for spoilage.  We've got two episodes left of the first batch, and she's out of town until tomorrow, so we're going to be cutting it close.  I'm enjoying the season so far, although I don't know if separating Hopper and Joyce from the main storyline was a good decision.  Still hoping for a Dustin/Steve spin-off where they drive around the country solving supernatural mysteries.

Elsewhere...

*Hulu has a new film about an ass-kicking princess.  The trailer looks surprisingly fun, but it's not exactly hard to put together a fun trailer from an action movie.  I'll probably check it out if reviews are good.

*Amazon has a new series in which worst Chris plays a Navy SEAL who returns home after his entire platoon is killed.  You better believe there's a conspiracy.  I'll stick with The Princess.

*Acorn TV has the eighth season premiere of The Brokenwood Mysteries.  Here is where you ask, "What the hell is The Brokenwood Mysteries?"  Followed closely by, "What the hell is Acorn TV?"

I finished Obi-Wan Kenobi this week.  It made Boba Fett seem like a masterpiece.

Most peculiar, mama.

⭐🔔 Stranger Things (Netflix, 3:01 AM EDT) SEASON FOUR, PART TWO.

PREMIERES

🔔 Terminal List (Amazon, 12:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Based on the best-selling novel by Jack Carr, The Terminal List follows James Reece after his entire platoon of Navy SEALs is ambushed during a high-stakes covert mission. Reece returns home to his family with conflicting memories of the event and questions about his culpability. However, as new evidence comes to light, Reece discovers dark forces working against him, endangering not only his life, but the lives of those he loves.'

🎥 The Princess (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 'When a beautiful, strong-willed princess refuses to wed the cruel sociopath to whom she is betrothed, she is kidnapped and locked in a remote tower of her father's castle.  With her scorned, vindictive suitor intent on taking her father's throne, the princess must protect her family and save the kingdom.'

🎥 Barbarians (AMC+, 3:01 AM) 'Set over the course of twenty-four hours, Barbarians sees couple Adam and Eva wake up in their supposed dream house on Adam’s birthday. Lucas, a property developer and friend of the couple, arrives for dinner with his actress girlfriend Chloe, to celebrate Adam’s birthday and the couple’s new home.  But secrets unravel over dinner, and when the doorbell rings the evening takes a nightmarish turn. As manners give way to madness, an ‘idyllic’ evening of celebration descends into a dark night of terror; and the group’s civilized dinner party turns out to be anything but.'

🔔 Carl Weber's The Black Hamptons (BET+, 3:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES. 'A new family drama set in the quaint town of Sag Harbor, known as "The Black Hamptons," in Long Island, NY. From luxury communities to historic beachfront enclaves, this epic story will follow the brewing feud between the 'Brittons' and the 'Johnsons,' where the difference between old and new money is very apparent. "Carl Weber's The Black Hamptons" not only features the glitz and gloss of the Black elite but also exposes the underbelly of wealth and prestige.'

😂 Funny Girls (Crackle, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'The series follows Laura and Rose as they produce sketches for a fictional comedy series, fielding ideas from their male bosses and their producer Pauline.'

🔔 How to Screw it All Up (AKA: Cómo Mandarlo Todo a la Mierda) (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES. 'Follows a group of friends who set out on a road trip with no destination other than to discover themselves.'

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 The Brokenwood Mysteries (Acorn, 3:01 AM) SEASON EIGHT PREMIERE.

🔔 Marvel Studios Assembled: The Making of Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (Disney+, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION.

STREAMING

🔔The Boys (Amazon, 12:01 AM) 

🚀 For All Mankind (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Happy Valley" 

💰 Loot (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Excitement Park" 

🔔 Physical (Apple, 12:01 AM) "Don't You Want to Watch" 

🔨 Hollywood Houselift with Jeff Lewis (Freevee, 12:01 AM) 

🔔 A Life in Ten Pictures (Crackle, 3:01 AM) "Tupac Shakur" 

💖 Love in Paradise: The Caribbean (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🍴 Magnolia Table with Joanna Gaines (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🔨 Restoration Road with Clint Harp (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Trixie Motel (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 

🏠 Where We Call Home (Discover+, 3:01 AM) 

💖 Love Island (UK) (Hulu, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars (Paramount+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars: Untucked (Paramount+, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Super Sema (YouTube, 12:00 PM) 

👮‍♂️ Cops (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM) 

SPORTS TONIGHT TODAY LIVE

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: John Deere Classic, Second Round (Golf, 3:00 PM)

🥊 UFC Live: Adesanya vs. Cannonier (ESPN2, 5:00 PM)

🏎 NASCAR Xfinity Series: Henry 180, Qualifying (USA, 5:30 PM)

🥍 Girls High School Lacrosse: National Showcase, Championship: Teams TBA (ESPNU, 6:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Texas Rangers at New York Mets (Apple, 7:00 PM)

⚾ Friday Night Baseball: Los Angeles Angels at Houston Astros (Apple, 8:00 PM)

🏀 WNBA Basketball: Los Angeles Sparks at Dallas Wings (CBSSN, 8:00 PM)

🥊 Professional Fighters League: PFL 6: Welterweights & Women's Lightweights (ESPN, 8:00 PM)

🏀 High School Basketball: Teams TBA (ESPNU, 8:00 PM)

🌽 Cornhole: ACL Final Chase (ESPN2, 10:00 PM)

EARLY PRIMETIME

🏠 The Loud House (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM) 'When Royal Woods is in danger of being flooded to make room for a sixth Great Lake, the town comes together to prove that they're worth saving.' 

🔔 Bunk'd (Disney, 7:30 PM) 'Bill searches for treasure with Destiny's reluctant help, and in spite of Lou's disapproval; Parker and Noah plan a dance performance, but struggle to include Jake.' 

🔔 Kiri and Lou (Nick Jr, 6:00 PM) 
🔔 Eureka! (Disney Jr, 7:30 PM) 
💲 America Says (GSN, 7:30 PM) 
🔔 The Casagrandes (Nickelodeon, 7:30 PM) 

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Rugrats (Nickelodeon, 8:00 PM) 'When the babies' favorite song gets stuck in Chas's head, Tommy and the babies go on a quest to get it unstuck; Tommy and Chuckie discover that playing music might threaten their friendship.'

🔔 The Villains of Valley View (Disney, 8:00 PM) 'Jake and Hartley head off to confront Starling before she can rally the other superheroes to strike, all while keeping Amy and the rest of the villain family in the dark.' 

🤼‍♂️ WWE Friday Night SmackDown (Fox, 8:00 PM) 
👮‍♂️ North Woods Law: Uncuffed (Animal Planet, 8:00 PM) 
💰 Gold Rush: Parker's Trail (Discovery, 8:00 PM) 
🔨 Making Modern with Brooke and Brice (Magnolia, 8:00 PM) 
🔔 Ultra Violet & Black Scorpion (Disney, 8:30 PM) 
🔔 Tooned In (Nickelodeon, 8:30 PM) 

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Dynasty (CW, 9:00 PM) 'Fallon and Blake come up with a plan to beat Ben; Dominique tries to keep herself out of the family drama, no matter how much Ben tries to drag her in; Sam tries to set up Culhane; Alexis seems to have a major change of heart.'

🍴 Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Food, 9:00 PM) 'Guy Fieri pops into a Jewish deli in Palm Springs, Calif., to reminisce about pastrami and brisket; then, it's double trouble with Kid Rock in Clarkston, Mich.,and a look back at not one but two of Kid's favorite hometown restaurants.'

🍴 The Great American Recipe (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'Nine cooks present their favorite go-to quick meals and crowd-pleasers; recipes range from shrimp tacos to spicy Sriracha pasta.'

🔔 Raven's Home (Disney, 9:00 PM) 
🏠 Vacation House Rules (HGTV, 9:00 PM) 
🎥 The Last Drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs (Shudder, 9:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. 
👻 Ghost Adventures (Travel, 9:00 PM) 
🤮 Mama June: From Not to Hot (WE, 9:00 PM) 
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 8:00 PM)
💰 Gold Rush: Dave Turin's Lost Mine (Discovery, 9:01 PM) 

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🔔 American Anthems (PBS, 10:00 PM) 'Lee Brice creates a celebratory mid-tempo guitar jam for a woman who pays for people's laundry in low-income communities.'

🔔 Antiques Roadshow Recut (PBS, 10:30 PM) 'Coca-Cola original advertising art; a Dr. Seuss book circa 1940; a Nicolai Fechin portrait of a young boy.'

💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 10:00 PM) 
🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 
💰 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery, 10:02 PM) 

LATE NIGHT

🔔 Pause with Sam Jay (HBO, 11:00 PM) "Sexual Miscalculations" 

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'Actor Tom Hanks; actor Elliot Page; chef Mason Hereford; Ralph Alexander sits in with the 8G Band.' 

💰 Outback Opal Hunters (Discovery, 11:02 PM) 
🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 
🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 
🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) 
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) 

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO Binge📺

📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); Quantum Leap (6:00 AM - 6:00 AM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:00 AM - 11:00 AM); The Golden Girls (Hallmark, 8:00 AM - 10:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM); ER (Pop, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 2:00 AM); House (Pop, 3:00 PM - 8:00 PM); One Day at a Time (Antenna, 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM); Three's Company (Antenna, 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 8:00 PM -10:00 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Good Times (TVOne, 8:00 PM - 3:00 AM);  King of Queens (TV Land, 11:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Maude (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM) 

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Dom DeLuise, comedian Rodney Dangerfield; actress Mariette Hartley; actor Orson Bean.'

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included