Thoughts on Almost Heroes

 

via Giphy/Courtesy Warner Bros.

"... In exchange for reading lessons, Mr. Hunt reciprocates by teaching me some of his frontier skills."
*Bartholomew Hunt (Chris Farley) picks up a large turd from the brush and smells it*
"The buffalo is near now."
"Ah, you can tell that just by sniffing its droppings."
"No. I can see the herd right over there."
*Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry) looks over to the herd as Hunt takes a big second whiff*
"Well, then why are you ...?"
*Hunt's in ecstasy*

Not every actor or filmmaker gets to choose his or her last project. Almost Heroes, filmed in summer 1996, was released nearly two years later. The movie came out almost a half-year after the death of co-star Chris Farley. While it's not as heartbreaking as the October 1997 Saturday Night Live episode hosted by Farley -- few things are -- Heroes is still uncomfortable to watch. On a less harrowing note, Heroes was Matthew Perry's second go as a potential movie star. Heroes was released and gone from theaters amid production of Perry's next try, Three to Tango. Heroes was directed by Christopher Guest just less than a year after he finished Waiting for Guffman and written by the team of Mark Nutter & Tom Wolfe & Boyd Hale (Nurses).

Heroes' gimmick is that there were actually two teams trying to reach the Pacific Ocean. Edwards and Hunt, mostly the former, are the rivals of Lewis and Clark. That plot element takes a backseat to Edwards adjusting to his non-expert crew, like Guy Fontenot (Eugene Levy) and his alluring Native American wife, Shaquinna (Lisa Barbuscia), Edwards' slave Jonah (Bokeem Woodbine), eventually multiple amputee Bidwell (David Packer) and elderly Jackson (Patrick Cranshaw). Edwards also has to put up with vain conquistador Hidalgo (Kevin Dunn, back so soon) and, of course, the ultimately likeable (if he wasn't, there goes the film) Hunt. 

"I think there's something wrong with that whiskey. My head is split open."

"I'm surprised you're hungover at all, considering the amount you regurgitated into the harpsichord."

This might be my shortest Thoughts On entry all year. I don't have much to say about Almost Heroes except that Farley pretty much stayed within his persona, Perry didn't create much of a character and it's all just too episodic to be interesting. I dunno, perhaps if the movie was longer (it clocks in at 90 minutes), perhaps if it built to a bigger finish than what was there (although I did smirk at the return of a running gag involving an eagle and Hunt), perhaps if it offered more than predictable jokes. Ah well, the cast tried to make them work.

"Sir, I've been to hell and back."

"Yes, I can see that."

"I suspect that you'll want to lead a hunting party to slay that terrible beast."

"Well, yes, that thought did cross my mind briefly. But now I have a better idea."

"Yes, sir?"

"I shall fashion for you the finest wooden leg you've ever seen."

"But what about the bear?"

"Rest assured, Bidwell, in 20 years or so, the ravages of old age will deal with the bear far more cruelly than we ever could have."

"Revenge is sweet, sir."

Not Recommended.

Thoughts:

-- "Higgins ... when I said your music would be a welcome companion, I didn't mean ..."

"DON'T YOU KNOW ANY OTHER GODDAMN TUNE?!"

-- Box Office: Grossing $6.1 million on a $30 million budget, this opened at No. 7 and came in at No. 148 for the year. Not too surprisingly, Heroes did not have critics screenings.

-- Critic's Corner, the movie: "Pacing is too slack for pic to ever achieve a satisfying comic momentum, and the limp ending is a real letdown," Joe Ledon wrote in Variety.

-- Critic's Corner, Farley and Perry: "Both actors do manage to convey some general coming appeal, but with awfully thin material," Anita Gates wrote in The New York Times. Leydon was impressed that Perry held his own opposite Farley. "(It's) less a star vehicle than a genuine collaboration between equals," Leydon wrote. Owen Gleiberman declared the shit-sniffing scene to be the only moment he smiled at, and "a classic Farley moment: infantile, giggly-gross, nakedly masochistic in its assertion that, as if it weren't enough to see him stuffing his face or making brain-dead comments at top volume, Farley's character might also harbor an unashamed fondness for buffalo chips."

-- Hey, It's (Unfortunately) 1998!: Almost Heroes was released the day after the murder of Farley's former SNL costar, Phil Hartman. Both Farley and Hartman will show up later during Thoughts On, the former in a cameo in Dirty Work and the later (plus Dunn, yet again) in Small Soldiers.

-- Fanservice Junction: While using his telescope, Edwards ends up catching Shaquinna as she bathes. The moment is spoiled when he subsequently catches Fontenot.

-- Hey, It's ...!: Franklin Cover, Jonathan Joss, Don Lake, Tim DeKay and Harry Shearer.

-- "Mr. President, we have to give bears the right to vote, or bears will rise up, and then bears will be in Congress and we will be the ones performing in the circus, wearing little hats."

-- Next: The Last Days of Disco. On deck: Hope Floats.