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"(observes a flashcard) Now what is that word again, for a dish composed of meat, fowl, fish or vegetables, covered in a layer of paste and baked? Oh, yeah, it's a pie. Then again, a pie could be a magpie, a collection of rules, a copper coin, or what you call a fine-lookin' lady. If you don't believe me, look it up, Blondie. A pie can also mean a whole, as in the pie of which we crave a piece, like the whole enchilada, the big salami, the grand prize, the talking bird which you hope will make you rich, that kind of pie. Me! I'm the pie here, and if you don't mind taking your fingers out of me for a moment, I'd like to get some lunch, you lab rat!"
Looking back, one of the best part of kid-appealing '90s comedy was how it was inspired by the old school. I feel like you can draw a direct line from Jerry Lewis to Jim Carrey. That said, however, I don't think those two were ever up for the same roles. Which brings me to the grimly funny story of Buddy Hackett losing the title role of Paulie to Jay Mohr, who successfully impersonated Hackett. Todd McCarthy, Variety, felt that Paulie's humor was "rooted in a wisecracking, almost vaudevilian style that may fly right over the heads of many moppets." Not necessarily, Todd. It just might have gone over better with the real deal.
"Marie couldn't talk. The dad couldn't listen. The mom couldn't cope."
You would think that the gimmick of a talking bird would be enough to sustain Paulie. Tony Shalhoub plays Misha, a Russian immigrant who befriends and, of course, eventually frees Paulie. Misha spends most of the movie just listening to Paulie's story, but there's a memorable moment when he recalls the girl he loved back home. She acted in a play, wearing "little flowers in her hair, and the light make them all ... different color. And I say to myself, 'My God, she's beautiful.'" For all that screenwriter Laurie Craig did wrong with Paulie, like having his tale be told as a long, episodic flashback and squandering the road movie concept, she, Shalhoub and director John Roberts did great there. There's a couple other moments that worked.
*Paulie is perched on the shoulder of his second owner, Ivy (Gena Rowlands)*
"You've been a dear friend to me, Paulie. We're birds of a feather, you and I. Betwixt and between, that's us. So what do we have tonight? Is it pretty?"
"Oh, very pretty."
*It's revealed that they're outside at sunset.*
"There's more orange now, and it's getting darker. Just a little gold left."
"The sun must almost be set. Can you see any stars yet?"
"Not yet."
Rowlands, like Shalhoub, is almost too qualified for her role. Still, her 12 minutes are some of the best. Ivy is Paulie's first owner after he is separated from young stutterer Marie (Hallie Eisenberg) because her parents don't think she's having a normal-enough childhood. (Hey, It's the Wonder Years Era!) The flashback starts in New Jersey and concludes in Los Angeles. It includes Ivy purchasing Paulie (from Artie the pawnbroker, Hackett's makeup role), Ivy losing her eyesight and dying, orphaned Paulie's first flight being to the Grand Canyon, no less, Paulie befriending illegal imigrant Ignacio (Cheech Marin) and his non-articulate conures (particularly Lupe), Ignacio being set up by Benny the thief (Mohr again), Benny using Paulie to steal from ATMs and finally, Paulie winding up in the clutches of Reingold. It's all too much to really matter, I think.
It is kinda cool that 14 live conures, plus one anamatronic, played Paulie. Eighteen conures played Lupe, Paco and Pepe. The birds were all selected and trained by Boone Narr, previously of Mouse Hunt. Maybe Paulie needed a little more of that movie's spirit. Marin has about as much screen time as Rowlands, but he's wasted. Like I said, I feel like you could have gotten a good movie out of the gimmick of a genuinely talking bird. There just needed to be more than just "Oh my gosh, he can talk!" and the Michigan J. Frog routine -- talking in private and in this case, acting like a normal parakeet in public -- like Paulie does with Reingold.
"Who do you think you are?"
"I am Mikeal Andreovich Vilyenkov! And you are a liar and a coward and a very rude man!"
"And you are fired!"
"No! No, I'm not fire! I am quit!"
Not Recommended.
Thoughts:
-- "It's a long story." "I'm Russian. I like long stories."
-- Box Office: Grossing nearly $26.9 millon on a $23 million budget, this opened at No. 5 and came in at No. 71 for 1998.
-- Critic's Corner: "Warm and witty ... something to behold," wrote Lawrence Van Gelder of The New York Times. "Make an appointment with your kids or borrow some children from your neighbor and see Paulie," advised Bob Heiser, Los Angeles Times. Heiser went beyond calling Paulie "a perfect family movie." He also felt it had "the intelligence, humor and hug-me moments to be a great first-date movie, too." Roger Ebert wasn't that impressed. "The film is aimed at children, I suppose, although I don't think they'll like Paulie all that much. I didn't. ... Would you want to live with a parrot who talked and thought like Buddy Hackett?" While McCarthy praised "Shalhoub's sensitive but unsentimental work," he felt the movie paled in comparison to Babe and ultimately "never lets loose with any flights of fancy, literal or otherwise."
-- Awards Watch: The BAFTA winner for Best Children's Feature Film (an uncontested category, it seems), Paulie also received ALMA nominations for Marin and Alvarado. He lost to Antonio Banderas for The Mask of Zorro and she lost to Jennifer Lopez for Out of Sight. Eisenberg and the movie also received Young Artist Awards nods, losing to Mae Whitman, Hope Floats, and The Mask of Zorro, respectively. Eisenberg also lost the YoungStar Award to ... Christina Ricci in The Opposite of Sex!
-- Hey, It's 1998!: I had to look it up, but Paulie was filmed and released long before Eisenberg became famous as "The Pepsi Girl." My memory had the two happening simultaneously.
-- Hey, It's ...!: Bill Cobbs, Tia Texada and Trini Alvarado as adult Marie.
-- "Paulie, how did you find me?" "Well, it's a long story." "It's the only kind he knows."
-- Next: The Object of My Affection. On deck: The Odd Couple II.
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