Thoughts on My Giant

 

via Giphy/Courtesy YouTube

*Talent agent Sammy (Billy Crystal) and especially tall Max (Gheorghe Muresan) are in New York City*
"What is that building?"
"Max, that's the Empire State Building. One of the biggest buildings in New York. That's where King Kong got killed."
"King Kong?"
"Oh, it's this fantastic movie about this sleazy promoter who captures this huge gorilla, brings it to New York, where he goes nuts 'cause he loves this girl. And *realizes it's not far off from Max's present situation* ... Lousy movie. Sad. It was terrible."

Gheorghe Muresan currently remains a one-and-done would-be movie star. To my great surprise, he was the best part of My Giant, directed by Michael Lehmann and written by David Seltzer from a story by Seltzer & Billy Crystal, who also produced. Billy based Sammy and Max's friendship on the one he shared with the movie's dedicatee, André the Giant. Giant may have been Crystal's baby, but I think he should have let Danny DeVito play Sammy. If nothing else, Danny's usually good at mitigating movie mushiness. And Giant gets very mushy indeed. Along with briefly falling upward professionally in a world that really doesn't have time for his bullshit, Sammy becomes a better father, husband and friend.

"... The point is, we want him. I mean, the image of this big, stupid beast spouting Shakespeare ..."

"'Big, stupid beast'?"

"Well, he looks stupid."

"He speaks five languages. How many do you speak?"

"Hey, settle down."

"Don't call him stupid!"

*Sammy internally considers Max doing rigorous, lucrative movie work beyond what his body will allow*

"... I just need to do what's best for my giant."

Nearly a fifth of My Giant is spent setting up for Muresan's arrival. After that, nearly an hour passes with some attempts at tugging at heartstrings. Max, a Romanian, was ostracized in his teens for being so tall. The stigma of being known as "Diablo Grotesque" resulted in Max's parents sending him to a monastery. There, he passed the years learning Shakespeare and pining for the girl he shared a first kiss with, Lilliana (Joanna Pacula). By the final half-hour, Muresan is almost dwarfed by how maudlin things get. Now an American with some understanding of what stalking is, Lilliana refuses to see Max when he's in Las Vegas. Sammy, who now knows the big guy's gonna die sooner rather than later, convinces his estranged, ex-actress wife Serena (Kathleen Quinlan) to play Lilliana. It's not a bad scene for Crystal, Quinlan and Muresan, although I would have preferred Max knowing the truth after all. Also, as good as Quinlan looks in this movie, there's no way she could have passed as having grown up alongside Muresan. Then again, neither could Pacula.

"Sam ... Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I like you, Max. You're my friend."

"Do you have many friends?"

"A few."

"And you put them in the movies?"

"No, Max. It's my job. I do it 'cause it makes me feel good. If I can make you into someone important, it makes me important. Do you understand that?"

"... You have woman? ... And you have child. ... And mother and father. ... And they love you? ... And this doesn't make you feel important? It would make me feel important. Thank you, Sam, for liking me."

Keep in mind, this exchange came before we and Sammy learn that Max will eventually succumb to heart disease. It also comes before a visit to Sammy's family, including a mother (Doris Roberts) whose response to seeing Max is figuring, "I shoulda made more," and an aunt (Estelle Harris) who's curious about the size of Max's penis. "Don't we all want to know? *to Sammy* You must know!" "I don't know!" Soon after, the prospect of easy money -- so they can get to Vegas and have Max join the cast of Steven Seagal's latest* -- has Sammy getting Max to take part in a degrading, triggering and ultimately brief Cleveland wrestling gig as "Diablo Grotesque" against seven angel-clad dwarfs. The most aggressive one is played by Verne Troyer.

*My Giant takes place in an apparent alternate 1998 where Seagal was a bigger star than Schwarzenegger, Van Damme and Stallone. Either that, or Sammy's son Nick (Zane Carney) has distinct taste in meatheads.

My Giant tested my patience, made me consider what kind of ego Crystal must have had to co-conceive and star in it, had me imagining what would have happened if Muresan went the distance in show business and Seagal's self-parodying appearance got him back on the A list and also made me laugh at the visual of Rider Strong getting doused with what appears to be vanilla pudding. It's Max's vomit. He got drunk to lose his nerves about being in a movie and Justin (Rider) got his just desserts for firing Sammy at the start of Giant. The thing is, unless some material was cut, Justin didn't seem so much bratty as he was shrewd about his career. Surely Sammy can appreciate that? As it stands, we're asked to laugh at a young man's humiliation.  

I guess questionable execution is par for the course with My Giant, a comedy that spent much time trying to be a tearjerker. The thing is, if the movie was considerably tigher and more open about its aims, it actually could have worked. Muresan hardly embarassed himself and Crystal clearly has no shame about schmaltz.

"I saw Max twice over the next year. The last time, to say goodbye. It's funny to think that someone could die because his heart was too big, but that was Max. The thing is, he wanted to be small, and I wanted to be big. But what we were both looking for had nothing to do with size. Because I'm not the tallest guy in the world, but in the eyes of my family, I've become a giant."

Recommended with reservations.

Thoughts:
-- "Vanquish mine enemy!"

-- Box Office: Grossing nearly $8.1 million on a $20 million budget, this opened at No. 8 and came in at No. 137 for the year.

-- Critic's Corner, the movie: "Fe, fi, fo, flop!," wrote Stephen Hunter for the Washington Post. Why is it that comics are always the biggest pushovers when it comes to sentiment?" Roger Ebert wanted to know. "Do people who are funny have a greater than ordinary need to be loved? Is that why they want to make us laugh in the first place?" David Kronke, Los Angeles Times, declared Giant to be Crystal's best since City Slickers.

-- Critic's Corner, Billy and Gheorghe: "Crystal ... is a seasoned pro when it comes to this kind of material," wrote Kronke, who nevertheless felt that "the film would not have worked if Muresan ... hadn't been able to deliver a surprisingly soulful performance." "A calm, dignified and warm personality," according to Leonard Klady, Variety. "His English is not the best, but we believe he is who he's playing, and that's a test not every actor can pass," Ebert observed. Of the two leads, Billy got the worse reviews. Lisa Schwarzbaum: "Desperate to show that Sammy has a heart, however rusted, Crystal mugs shamelessly." Klady: "He is the equivalent of the guest who's provided the edge you didn't want at your party." "(He) cannot imagine a world in which he is not as beloved for his wondrous compassion as for his talent," Hunter wrote.

-- Critic's Corner, Steven: "Believe it or not, Seagal supplies some of the funniest moments," Janet Maslin wrote. Hunter: "The kick-butt star (is) in hopes of a career resurrection, no doubt." Klady: "Seagal ... lives up to his macho persona and adds a nicely observed bit of humor." "The few weak laughs come from Steven Seagal, of all punchlines, playing himself with deeply welcome postmodern irony," Schwarzbaum wrote.

-- Today in Dated Critical References: Both Hunter and Klady referenced the novel What Makes Sammy Run?, which was probably obscure except for its title even in 1998.

-- Today in Coincidences: Sammy being asked if he knows Bruce Willis plays differently in light of the alleged exploitation that took place in Willis' later career, not unlike what Sammy considers doing with Max.

-- Hey, It's 1998!: My Giant continues the year's trend of men longing to reunite with girls who did a number on them back in their youth. We've already had Great Expectations and The Truman Show is on the way.

-- Hey, It's ...!: Jere Burns, Harold Gould, Dan Castellaneta, Jay Black, Lorna Luft, Ajay Naidu and Heather Thomas.

-- Marquee/Broadway Watch: The Les Misérables logo is seen when Sammy is out and about in New York. Later, he mentions having played in Fiddler on the Roof in high school and claims that Max did Peter Pan in stock opposite Jamie Farr. Joanne (Luft) sings a variant of "What I Did For Love" at an auto show.

-- "So here I am in Romania, reading bedtime stories. Usually you read bedtime stories about a giant. But I'm reading them to a giant. ..."

-- Next: City of Angels. On deck: Paulie.