What's On Tonight (Friday): Lousy Smarch Madness...

via Gyfcat

There's a lot of new stuff today and I considered many things for Top Pick.  At the end of the day, it's next to impossible to deny Top Pick status to something that is taking up hours of broadcasting time across multiple channels.  ESPN and its sister channels have the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament, while CBS, TNT, TBS and TruTV have the Men's.  Surprisingly, CBS's own all sports channel, CBSSN, doesn't have any.  Talk about not having a date for the prom.

Other potential Top Picks that got bulldozed by America's fascination with people bouncing balls include the Amazon Prime film, Master.  The reviews are decent (79% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes as of March 17), the trailer looks intriguing, and it has Regina Hall.  

There's also the Big Mouth spin-off, "Human Resources," but I made Big Mouth the top pick not too long ago, and there's only so many dancing penis GIFs I am willing to post.  Just kidding, there's really no limit.

TOP PICKS

⭐🏀 2022 NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament: First Round: South Florida vs. Miami (ESPN2, 11:30 AM); South Dakota vs. Ole Miss (ESPN2, 1:30 PM); Creighton vs. Colorado (ESPNews, 1:30 PM); TBA at South Carolinas (ESPN, 2:00 PM); Florida Gulf Coast vs. Virginia Tech (ESPNU, 2:30 PM); Gonzaga vs. Nebraska (ESPNews, 3:30 PM); Illinois State at Iowa (ESPN, 4:00 PM); Hawaii at Baylor (ESPN2, 4:00 PM); Delaware at Maryland (ESPNU, 5:00 PM); Arkansas vs. Utah (ESPNews, 4:30 PM); Albany (N.Y.) at Louisville (ESPN2, 6:00 PM); TBA vs. Georgia (ESPNews, 7:30 PM); Georgia Tech at Kansas (ESPNU, 7:30 PM); Fairfield at Texas (ESPNU, 8:00 PM); Montana State at Stanford (ESPN2, 10:00 PM); Texas-Arlington at Iowa State (ESPNU, 10:00 PM)

⭐🏀 2022 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament: First Round: Loyola-Chicago vs. Ohio State (CBS, 12:00 PM); Jacksonville State vs. Auburn (TruTV, 12:30 PM); Montana State vs. Texas Tech (TNT, 1:30 PM); Yale vs. Purdue (TBS, 1:50 PM); Delaware vs. Villanova State (CBS, 2:30 PM); Miami vs. USC (TruTV, 3:00 PM); TBA vs. Alabama (TNT, 4:00 PM); Virginia Tech vs. Texas (TBS, 4:20 PM); UT-Chattanooga vs. Illinois (TNT, 6:45 PM); Cal State Fullerton vs. Duke (CBS, 7:00 PM); Iowa State vs. LSU (TBS, 7:15 PM); TBA vs. Arizona (TruTV, 7:15 PM); Alabama-Birmingham vs. Houston (TNT, 9:15 PM); Davidson vs. Michigan State (CBS, 9:30 PM); Colgate vs. Wisconsin (TBS, 9:45 PM); TCU vs. Seton Hall (TruTV, 9:55 PM)

via SB Nation

PREMIERES

🎥 Master (Amazon Prime, 12:01 AM) 'Three women strive to find their place at an elite Northeastern University as old as the country.  When anonymous racist attacks target a black freshman - who insists she is being haunted by ghosts of the school's past - each woman must determine where the real menace lies.  Starring Regina Hall, Zoe Renee and Talia Ryder.'

🔔 WeCrashed (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'Inspired by actual events - and the love story at the center of it all.  WeWork grew from a single coworking space into a global brand worth $47 billion in under a decade.  Then, in less than a year, it's valuation dropped $40 billion.  What happened?  Starring Jared Leto, Anne Hathwaway and Kyle Martin.'

🎥 Deep Water (Hulu, 12:01 AM) 'A psychological thriller that takes us inside the marriage of picture-perfect Vic (Ben Affleck) and Melinda (Ana de Armas) Van Allen to discover the dangerous mind games they play and what happens to the people that get caught up in them.'

🔔 Life and Beth (Hulu, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'A trip down memory lane is a strong source of trauma, comedy and moving forward.  Starring Amy Schumer, Michael Cera and Michael Rappaport.'

🔔 Welcome to Flatch (Hulu, 12:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES.  'When a documentary crew sets out to explore the lives of residents in a small American town – their dreams, their concerns – they stumble upon the midwestern town of Flatch, which is made up of many eccentric personalities. It’s a place you want to visit and maybe even stay. If there was a decent motel. Which there is not.'

🎥 Dangerous (AMC+, 3:01 AM) 'Ex-con and reformed sociopath Dylan Forrester (Scott Eastwood) is trying to quietly serve out his parole - with the help of a steady supply of antidepressants and his eccentric psychiatrist (Mel Gibson).  But when his brother dies under mysterious circumstances, Dylan breaks parole and, with a dogged FBI agent (Famke Janssen) on his trail, goes to uncover the truth.'

🎥 Cheaper by the Dozen (Disney+, 3:01 AM) 'The raucous exploits of a blended family of 12, the Bakers, as they navigate a hectic home life while simultaneously managing their family business.  Starring Zach Braff and Gabrielle Union.'

🎥 More Than Robots (Disney+, 3:01 AM) 'Follows four teams of teenagers from around the world as they prepare for the 2020 FIRST® Robotics Competition.'

💖 Lust (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'An outrageous and painfully honest comedy about four middle(ish) aged women in Stockholm struggling to keep their libidos alive in a sexually frustrating world.'

🔔 On My Way with Irina Rimes (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION.  

🔔 Vlad & Niki (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'An imaginative, live-action preschool series, showcasing the everyday comedic antics of two young brothers, starring eight-old Vlad Vashketov and six-year-old Niki Vashketov, along with the help of their humorous mother Victoria Vashketova and toddler brother Christian. The series champions family fun, discovery play, home adventures, learning, singing and dancing.'

🔔 Alessandro Cattelan: One Simple Question (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Alessandro Cattelan searches for happiness through interviews and unique experiences with celebrity guests like Paolo Sorrentino and Roberto Baggio.'

🎥 Black Crab (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'To end an apocalyptic war and save her daughter, a reluctant soldier embarks on a desperate mission to cross a frozen sea carrying a top-secret cargo.  Starring Noomi Rapace.'

via Sports Buzz Source

🔔 Cracow Monsters (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A young woman haunted by her past joins a mysterious professor and his group of gifted students who investigate paranormal activity — and fight demons.'

🔔 Eternally Confused and Eager for Love (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Often (mis)guided by a cheeky imaginary wizard, an awkward and lonely 20-something struggles to get out of his own way in his quest for a girlfriend.'

🔔 Human Resources (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'This “Big Mouth” spin-off pulls back the curtain on the creatures — Hormone Monsters, Shame Wizards and more — that help humans journey through life.'

🔔 Is It Cake? (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Skilled cake artists create mouthwatering replicas of handbags, sewing machines and more in a mind-bending baking contest inspired by a popular meme.'

🔔 Standing Up (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'From juggling jobs to chasing viral fame: Making it in stand-up can be a messy business. But these four friends will risk it all to make the world laugh.'

🎥 Windfall (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A man breaks into a tech billionaire's empty vacation home, but things go sideways when the arrogant mogul and his wife arrive for a last-minute getaway.  Starring Jason Segel, Lily Commins and Jesse Plemons.'

🎥 Without Saying Goodbye (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'The opposite lives of a workaholic architect and a fiery artist are upended when their chance encounter in breathtaking Peru shifts their views on life.'

🔔 Young, Famous & African (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'This reality series follows a group of famed, affluent young media stars in Johannesburg as they build careers, look for love and rekindle old flames.'

🔔 The Newsreader (Roku, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. ' In the maelstrom of a commercial television newsroom in 1986, Dale Jennings (Sam Reid) is a diligent young reporter, desperate to become a newsreader. Helen Norville (Anna Torv) is a notoriously 'difficult' star newsreader determined to build credibility. Paired together over three months, Dale and Helen will cover an extraordinary chain of news events - from the shock of the Challenger explosion, to the hype of Halley's Comet, to the complexities of the AIDS crisis. From messy beginnings, a deep bond is formed that will upend their lives and transform the very fabric of the nightly news bulletin.'

💀 Drowning in Secrets (LMN, 8:00 PM) 'A day out on the water takes an unsettling turn as a young woman goes missing under mysterious circumstances. Determined to find her, the woman's sister returns home in a search for clues that could lead to the truth of her sister's disappearance.'

🔔 Zelenskyy: The Man Who Took on Putin (PBS, 10:30 PM) 'The rise of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, including how he transformed his image and popularity at home and abroad.'

via Pinterest

RETURNING SHOWS

🔔 Stillwater (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🍴 Ranch to Table (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO PREMIERE.

🔔 Light the Night (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON THREE.

🔔 Top Boy (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON TWO.

STREAMING

🔔 Central Park (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "Celeste We Forget"

🔔 The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "Sensia"

🔔 Servant (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "Commitment"

🔔 Severance (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "Hide and Seek"

🔔 Suspicion (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) SEASON FINALE. "Unmasked"

👮‍♂️ Cops (Fox Nation, 6:00 PM)

NON-BASKETBALL SPORTS TONIGHT TODAY*

🤼‍♂️ College Wrestling: NCAA Championships (ESPNU, 11:00 AM)

🏌️‍♂️ PGA Tour Golf: Valspar Championship, Second Round (Golf, 2:00 PM)

⚽ Premier League Soccer:Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Leeds United (USA, 4:00 PM)

🏒 College Hockey: Teams TBA (CBSSN, 5:00 PM)

🤼‍♂️ College Wrestling: NCAA Championships (ESPN, 8:00 PM)

🏒 College Hockey: Teams TBA (CBSSN, 8:30 PM)

*Sporting Events Are Subject To COVID-Related Postponements.

via Three Man Weave

EARLY PRIMETIME

💲 People Puzzler (GSN, 6:00 PM) "Among the Stars"

🧽 The Patrick Star Show (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM) "To Dad and Back"

🔔 Rugrats (Nickelodeon, 7:30 PM) "New Puppy"

🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL

🦈 Shark Tank (ABC, 8:00 PM) 'A portable product meant for beach hangs; an all-in-one meal prep system to help cooks stay organized; a portable and private workspace design; a product for bringing joy to new couples; an update on about Chapul Cricket Bars.'

🧙‍♀️ Charmed (CW, 8:00 PM) "You Can't Go Home Again"

🤼‍♂️ WWE Friday Night SmackDown (Fox, 8:00 PM) TBA

🔔 The Blacklist (NBC, 8:00 PM) "The Chairman"

🔔 Treehouse Masters: Branches Out (Animal Planet, 8:00 PM) "Black Diamond Bungalow"

💰 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) "Last Stand"

🔔 Raven's Home (Disney, 8:00 PM) "The Big Sammich"

🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 8:00 PM) "Scratch Offs: Oh, My Goodness!"

🔔 Brain Games: On the Road (NGC, 8:00 - 10:00 PM) 

🏠 The Loud House (Nickelodeon, 8:00 PM) "Flip This Flip; Haunted House Call"

💖 Ready for Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) "The Ex Files"

💀 An Unexpected Killer (Oxygen, 8:00 PM) "Fatal Fast Food"

🔔 How It's Made (Science, 8:00 PM) TBA

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race (VH1, 8:00 PM) "An Extra Special Episode"

🔔 Holly Hobbie (Disney, 8:30 PM) "The Careening Counselor" and "The Difficult Decision"

🔔 Alvinnn!!! and the Chipmunks (Nickelodeon, 8:30 PM) "The House on Cedar Lane; Bathroom Bully"

🔔 Wardens (Outdoor, 8:30 PM) "ORVs In The Spring"

via SB Nation

🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL

🎭 Great Performances (PBS, 9:00 PM) 'Movies for Grownups Awards With AARP the Magazine'

🔔 Dynasty (CW, 9:00 PM) "Go Catch Your Horse"

💀 Dareline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) TBA

👮‍♂️ Cold Case Files (A&E, 9:00 PM) "Written in Blood"

🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food Network, 9:00 PM) "Gettin' Funky in Flavortown"

🏠 Selling the Big Easy (HGTV, 9:00 PM) "The Captivating Covington Home Vs. The Mandeville Mansion"

👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) "The Time Benders"

🔔 The Trail (Outdoor, 9:30 PM) "White Death"

💖 Love After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) "Don't Track Me"

🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) "The Devil You Know"

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race: Untucked (VH1, 9:30 PM) 

🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL

🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) TBA

👻 The Ghost Town Terror (Travel, 10:00 PM) "A Place for the Dead"

💀 I Survived a Serial Killer (A&E, 10:30 PM) SEASON FINALE. "Rural Road Reaper" and "The House of Horrors Killer"

via Giphy

LATE NIGHT

🔔 The Graham Norton Show (BBC America, 11:00 PM) SEASON FINALE.

🎨 Painting with John (HBO, 11:00 PM) "Small Car"

🤼‍♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) 

🔔 The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Daniel Radcliffe; Kiki Layne; Dave Gahan and Soulsavers.'

🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) TBA

🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 12:35 PM) 'John Oliver; Future Islands'

🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) TBA

🔔 Late Night with Seth Myers (NBC, 12:37 PM) 'TV personality Simon Cowell; actress Maude Apatow; Stevie Nistor sits in with the 8G Band.'

🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 1:37 AM) 'Producer Adam McKay; actress Rebecca Hall.'

📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO Binge📺

📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:02 AM - 1:00 PM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:00 AM - 10:00 AM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); The Golden Girls (Hallmark, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); ER (Pop, 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 1:00 AM)); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 3:00 PM - 7:00 PM); House (Pop, 3:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 7:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 8:00 & 8:30 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:05 PM); Good Times (TVOne, 8:00 PM - 3:00 AM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 9:00 & 9:30 PM); King of Queens (TV Land, 11:05 AM - 2:00 AM); Alice (Antenna, 11:30 PM); Maude (Antenna, 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM); Archie Bunker's Place (Antenna, 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM) 

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Jerry Brown; Jean Marsh; Erma Brombeck; Charlie Callas.'

via PrimoGIF

More TV Listings: 

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com

⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included