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| via Pinterest |
It was difficult to select a Top Pick this week as nothing is really standing out to me. Of all the new and returning shows (only one of the latter) chances are The Legend of the Vox Machina is the only one I might check out. Plus, it gives me an excuse to use a bunch of GIFs from the old Dungeons & Dragons cartoon. Vox Machina isn't based on Dungeons and Dragons, but it is based on an RPG with wizards and dragons and shit so close enough. Top Picks have been chosen for much flimsier reasons than that.
Elsewhere we have a new Apple TV+ series from Chris Miller and Phil Lord who seem to be able to turn any shit concept (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, The Lego Movie, 21 and 22 Jump Street, Into the Spider-Verse) into gold. Their latest, The Afterparty, sounds interesting so I might just have to take advantage of the free three months of Apple TV+ that came with my new iPhone and check it out.
TOP PICK
⭐🔔 The Legend of the Vox Machina (Amazon Prime, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'An animated fantasy-adventure series for adults that follows Vox Machina, a band of misfits with a fondness for boozing and brawling. In a desperate attempt to pay off their mounting bar tab, these unlikely heroes end up on a quest to save the realm of Exandria from dark magical forces. From a sinister necromancer to a powerful curse, the group confronts a variety of obstacles that not only test their skills, but also the strength of their bond.'
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| via Tenor |
PREMIERES
🔔 The Afterparty (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'From Academy Award, BAFTA and Golden Globe Award winners Chris Miller and Phil Lord, "The Afterparty" is a genre-defying series centered on a murder mystery at a high school reunion. Each episode explores a different character's account of the fateful evening in question, all through the lens of popular film genres and unique visuals to match the storyteller's perspective.'
🎥 The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild (Disney+, 3:01 AM) 'The sixth installment of the Ice Age series and a spin-off of the franchise, The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild continues the hilarious escapades of everyone’s favorite prehistoric mammals. Desperate for some distance from their older sister Ellie, the thrill-seeking possum brothers Crash and Eddie set'
🔔 All of Us Are Dead (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A high school becomes ground zero for a zombie virus outbreak. Trapped students must fight their way out — or turn into one of the rabid infected.'
🦜 Angry Birds: Summer Madness (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Sparks and feathers fly when a teenage Red, Chuck, Bomb and Stella spend a wild summer together with other Angry Birds at Camp Splinterwood!'
🔔 Feria: The Darkest Light (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'In mid-'90s Andalusia, two sisters face rejection and search for the truth when their missing parents are accused of killing 23 people in a cult ritual.'
🔔 Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'Jonathan Van Ness lets his curiosity lead the way as he roves from snacks to wigs in this podcast spinoff chock-full of experts and special guests.'
🎥 Home Team (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Suspended NFL coach Sean Payton hopes to reconnect with his son by coaching his hapless youth football team in this family comedy based on a true story.'
🔔 In from the Cold (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'A mom’s life turns upside down when she must choose between putting her family at risk and returning to her past as a bioengineered Russian agent.'
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| via Tenor |
😂 Kapil Sharma: I'm Not Done Yet (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SPECIAL PRESENTATION. 'From the liquid courage behind his tweets to the sobering realities of making it in Mumbai, Kapil's pouring his heart out — with a heavy glug of humor.'
🔔 Orbital Children (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'In 2045, two children born on the moon and three kids from Earth try to survive after an accident on their space station leaves them stranded.'
🔔 The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (Netflix, 3:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES. 'Watching the world go by from her living room window, heartbroken Anna sets her sights on a handsome new neighbor until she witnesses a gruesome murder.'
🔔 Doomlands (Roku, 3:01 AM) SEASON ONE. 'The series looks at the life of the infamous Danny Doom and aspiring bartender, Lhandi, as they sling beers across a hellish wasteland in their mobile pub: The Oasis. Facing ruthless desert gangs, memory-stealing creeps, and even mean bathroom graffiti, all this crew's got to do to survive is not kill each other.'
🔔 Janet Jackson. (Lifetime and A&E, 8:00 PM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'One of the best-selling and highest-earning artists in music history, Janet Jackson has enjoyed immense levels of success, experienced incredible tragedy, and endured a tumultuous private life in the face of extraordinary public scrutiny. With no stone left unturned, this documentary lifts the lid on her private life for the very first time and reveals some of her most intimate moments ever caught on camera.'
🔔 My Killer Body with K. Michelle (Lifetime, 10:03 PM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'As one of the very first celebrities to come forward with her personal health struggles after silicone injections nearly took her life, R&B chart topper K. Michelle will help men and women desperate to correct plastic surgery procedures and get their lives back in My Killer Body with K. Michelle. With the number of cosmetic surgeries on the rise and an alarming number of these procedures resulting in post-surgery suffering and trauma, each episode will follow two patients who desperately need help as well as K. Michelle's ongoing personal story.'
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| via Tenor |
STREAMING
🔔 Servant (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "Hive"
SPORTS TONIGHT TODAY*
🏌️♂️ PGA Tour Golf: Farmers Insurance Open, Third Round (CBS, 5:00 PM)
🏀 College Basketball: Pennsylvania at Harvard (ESPNU, 5:00 PM)
🏀 College Basketball: Akron at Toledo (CBSSN, 7:00 PM)
🏀 College Basketball: Rhode Island at Dayton (ESPN2, 7:00 PM)
🏀 College Basketball: Ohio at Buffalo (ESPNU, 7:00 PM)
🏀 NBA Basketball: Boston Celtics at Atlanta Hawks (ESPN, 7:30 PM)
🏒 College Hockey: Nebraska-Omaha at Colorado College (CBSSN, 9:00 PM)
🤸♀️ Women's College Gymnastics: Alabama at Auburn (ESPN2, 9:00 PM)
🏀 College Basketball: Cleveland State at Wright State (ESPNU, 9:00 PM)
🏀 NBA Basketball: New York Knicks at Milwaukee Bucks (ESPN, 10:05 PM)
*Sporting Events Are Subject To COVID-Related Postponements.
EARLY PRIMETIME
💲 Tug of Words (GSN, 4:30 PM) "High School Crush"
💲 Chain Reaction (GSN, 5:00 PM) "Academic Allies vs. Clark Siblings"
💲 People Puzzler (GSN, 6:00 PM) "Birthday Blessings"
🧽 Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM) "Pat's a Li'l Sinker"
🔔 The Smurfs (Nickelodeon, 7:30 PM) "The Round Up; Waffle Wednesday"
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| via Tenor |
🕗 8:00 EASTERN / 🕖 7:00 CENTRAL
🦈Shark Tank (ABC, 8:00 PM) TBA
🔔 Undercover Boss (CBS, 8:00 PM) "Rita's Ice"
🔔 Penn & Teller: Fool Us (CW, 8:00 PM) "P&T's Big Game Halftime Show"
🤼♂️ WWE Friday Night SmackDown (Fox, 8:00 PM) TBA
🔔 Treehouse Masters: Ultimate Builds (Animal Planet, 8:00 PM) "Sky-High Bungalow"
💰 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00 PM) "Bonus Gold"
🔔 Secrets of Sulphur Springs (Disney, 8:00 PM) "Wrong Place, Wrong Time"
🔔 JoJo & Gran Gran (Nick Jr, 8:00 PM) "Winter: It's Time to Catch the Train"
🔔 The Casagrandes (Nickelodeon, 8:00 PM) "15 Candles; Rook, Line and Sinker"
💖 Ready for Love (OWN, 8:00 PM) "Quality Over Quantity"
💀 Killer Siblings (Oxygen, 8:00 PM) "Homicks & Woodmans"
🐲 Mythical Beasts (Science, 8:00 PM) "Deep Sea Monsters"
🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race (VH1, 8:00 PM) "She's a Super Tease"
🔔 Middlemost Post (Nickelodeon, 8:30 PM) "The Sleepover; The B Word"
🔔 Wardens (Outdoor, 8:30 PM) "Deer and Hockey"
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| via Tenor |
🕗 9:00 EASTERN / 🕖 8:00 CENTRAL
🔔 Magnum P.I. (CBS, 9:00 PM) "Judge Me Not"
💀 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) "After the Dance"
🕵️♀️ Nancy Drew (CW, 9:00 PM) SEASON FINALE. "The Ransom of the Forsaken Soul"
🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food Network, 9:00 PM) "From Europe to Asia"
🏠 My Lottery Dream Home (HGTV, 9:00 PM) "Massachusetts Millions"
👽 Ancient Aliens (History, 9:00 PM) "The World on Alert"
💀 Family Massacre (Oxygen, 9:00 PM) "The Smith Family"
🔔 Ladies Who List: Atlanta (OWN, 9:00 PM) "Grand Openings and Grand Closings"
💖 Love After Lockup (WE, 9:00 PM) "Love During Lockup: Buy Buy Love"
🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 'A young anchorwoman, Jodi Huisentruit, vanishes from her home.'
🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race: Untucked (VH1, 9:30 PM) TBA
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| via Yahoo |
🕗 10:00 EASTERN / 🕖 9:00 CENTRAL
👮♂️ Blue Bloods (CBS, 10:00 PM) "Cold Comfort"
🔔 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) TBA
🔨 Reno My Rental (HGTV, 10:00 PM) "Arrested Development" and "Den of Vibes"
🔔 Forbidden History (Science, 10:00 PM) "Knights of an Unholy Order"
🤼♂️ All Elite Wrestling: Rampage (TNT, 10:00 PM) TBA
👻 A Haunting (Travel, 10:00 PM) "Asylum 49"
👽 The Proof is Out There (History, 10:03 PM) "UFO on Fire and Dinosaur on the Beach" and "UFO Window Seat and Lost Underwater City"
🔔 Mystery at Blind Frog Ranch (Discovery, 10:15 PM) "What's Inside the Box?"
LATE NIGHT
🔔 The Graham Norton Show (BBC America, 11:00 PM) 'Joining Graham tonight is actor and director Sir Kenneth Branagh, talking about his highly acclaimed biographical movie Belfast and scottish singer-songwriter Emeli Sandé who performs her new single Brighter Days.'
🔔 Chillin Island (HBO, 11:00 PM) 'It's the end of the world; with water scarce and hygiene obsolete, only Coi Leray and Rosalía can save the crew.'
🔔 The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 PM) 'Actor Taylor Lautner; snowboarder Chloe Kim; Griff x Sigrid perform.'
🔔 Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 PM) 'Actor Rob Lowe; actress Francia Raisa; Joy Oladokun performs.'
🔔 The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 PM) 'Actress Marlee Matlin; actress Mackenzie Davis.'
🔔 Nightline (ABC, 12:37 AM) TBA
🔔 The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 AM) TBA
🔔 Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC, 12:37 AM) 'Actress Judi Dench; author Huma Abedin; Teddy Swims performs; Daniel Fang sits in with the 8G Band.'
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| via Tenor |
📺Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO Binge📺
📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:00 AM - 12:30 PM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 11:42 AM); The Golden Girls (Hallmark, 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM); ER (Pop, 9:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Living Single (TVOne, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 10:45 AM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law & Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 2:00 AM)); Seinfeld (Comedy Central, 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM); House (Pop, 3:00 PM - 8:00 PM); The Office (Comedy Central, 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM & 10:00 PM - 12:00 AM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 8:00 & 8:30 PM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:00 PM); Good Times (TVOne, 8:00 PM - 3:00 AM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 9:00 & 9:30 PM); King of Queens (TV Land, 11:00 AM - 2:00 PM); Alice (Antenna, 11:30 PM)
📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Actor Billy Crystal; actor Charles Nelson Reilly; actor Merie Earle; actor Earl Holliman.'
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| via Tenor |
More TV Listings: The Futon Critic; Zap2it
Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com
⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included
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